Warning: This fan fiction contains examples of sexual content, cursing and violence. Reader Discretion is indeed advised.
The Legend of...
Oh, really, you thought I would do that?
I can't believe that! You're an idi-
Author's Note: Quiet, Maya. Let me write the damn story!
Maya: "Ian, are you really gonna use a title like that?"
The Legend of Maya! Of course. It sounds perfect, doesn't it? Zelda did it!
Maya: "It's totally cliche and just plain sore on the eyes. Come up with something sarcastic! Witty! Original!"
But... oh, fine!
"The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the children are playing and we're all going to die."
Chapter One: Valuable things hurt
A third of the process of fighting was being able to move in the right direction at the right time. Another third was being able to know when to attack. Another third was knowing how hard. Another third...
"Wait, that would be four-thirds. Damn it!"
Maya Collins wasn't even sure that half of those were right. God, this fighting stuff was difficult- and her overbearing teacher didn't help much either.
A snort and a surprised gasp. "Whawuzzat?"
"Oh, Lil' Missy! Hi! What are you doing here?"
"I live here, Kamesennin..."
She looked at the balding man with mild annoyance, but was careful not to look into said baldspot. From the bright light above, she feared the reflection would make her go blind.
"Oh, that's right..."
"...Go back to sleep, Kamesennin."
"Nonsense! Good teachers never sleep on the job! I was just resting my eyes."
"Oh, alright then. Whatever you say."
"So! The three thirds of martial arts are..."
Maya Collins shut her eyes and drifted off for a moment: just a moment, thinking of how she got herself into this mess.
The day was fine, the sun was shining and the force of the weight on her back was about to break her spine, but Maya Collins wasn't all that unhappy. She loved days like these for sure: she went out for walks and sometimes did not come back until late that night. These were the days in which she just sat around (in a mental, symbolic sort of way) and thought.
But today was not that type of day for this type of action, she thought.
Today was a day for something different, even if it still had the same qualities. She had taken a job for the first time, at her ripe young age of sixteen, a simple babysitting gig. But the problem was that this babysitting gig lasted basically from morning 'til noon - a single mother was out enjoying a day to herself, while she left a sixteen year old in charge of her kid.
Maya supposed it was reasonable. The mother hadn't had any alone time in forever, but the child was relatively calm. He was a boy, roughly seven (his birthday was still, like, three weeks away, his motherh ad told her, but Maya would say he was close enough to qualify), with a pretty nice personality: he was timid, especially around girls he didn't know. All she had to do was keep him company for a little, feed him and then she could go and do whatever she wanted as long as she stayed in the house with him.
She had, of course, loopholed her way to where she was now. She had thrown her cellphone into her pocket, grabbed her wallet in one hand and the boy in the other - she would use the money that the lady had left for good just for that: food. But it would be fast food. She and the boy were going out on the town.
They had a fun day. He had obviously enjoyed himself: she had skipped her lunch to buy him a cheap dinosaur toy to keep him content, while she had done her reflective walk. It was growing late now, though: it was around eight o'clock to be exact, and she was actually past the time that the mother had said she would get back home. Maya had left a note to call her if she was worried: she hadn't done so, but she supposed it was time to get back home.
The kid was dead. Well, dead asleep, but he may as well be dead, because he wasn't helping her at all with handling his weight as he rested on her back, hands around her neck, nearly choking her while he was snoring in her ear. She didn't have the heart to wake him up, admittedly. She was glad her leg muscles were decently developed, because otherwise, she would be dragging across the ground. And pretty obviously, that wasn't a desirable option. She could envision it now... crying child, screaming mother, fleeing teenaged girl and leaving this whole day without the cash.
That would totally suck.
So, as it turned out, the mother hadn't found the note and had totally flipped out.
"You kidnappin' lil' replace! Why, I oughta...!!"
"Miss Kidd! Please-"
Maya hit the floor, pushing herself up just a second later, done originally in the intent to dodge the vase that was thrown at her.
"I KNOW YOU LEFT! With my BABY!" the lady screamed.
Meanwhile, the poor kid was bawling. Probably wouldn't be going to sleep for a while now, Maya thought miserably.
"...a note! On the dining room..."
Another odd, probably valuable object was thrown, and Maya gave up on reason. Time to go into ninja mode, and use her stealthiness to sneak into the kitchen and grab the note she had left from her table, then hold the lady down and make her read it.
That would be nice. Instead, she dropped to her knees to avoid the oncoming projectile, and weighed her options for a moment: she decided on option A, make a run for the dining room table and hope the mother could calm down after seeing such a note really did exist, or option B, get the hell out of dodge. She was leaning toward option B.
Of course, she was an idiot.
She got to her feet, placed her hands at her sides to streamline her body for speed and bolted in the direction of the kitchen. In the process, a hand mirror (one that, from the looks of its decorated rim, was also decently expensive) was tossed and struck her right on the arm. She realized immediately it was already broken: a fraction of glass cut into her arm before sliding down to the ground. It was a thin, shallow cut, but those were the ones that hurt the most. She cursed loudly, but kept on going, before making a swift right turn at the dining room table.
She made a quick decision then - in order to avoid having the next object (another vase, she believed it was) hit a window (which it would if she kept on her path) and thus get her sued (even worse), she jumped up over the dining room table and pushed herself across, grabbing her little note in the process. She hit the floor with a thud and didn't take a moment for breath.
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! I'm CALLING THE POLICE! Cody, go grab the phone, call 911 and tell them your mama-"
"READ THE FUCKING NOTE YOU CRAZY BITCH!" Maya Collins bellowed, and shoved it in her face.
Once her eyes locked onto Maya's close face, the mother immediately delivered a quick blow right to her face.
Maya fell flat onto the floor. The only thing to save her now would be a miracle: such as the big ol' phone number posted on the note which was now falling onto the floor. Quickly, the mother grabbed and scanned it over with insanely angry eyes that dimmed down slowly into apologetic and eventually horrified.
"...I'm so sorry, Miss Maya..."
"Miss Kidd.. did you know... valuable things hurt?"
Maya Collins went home that night with a pretty little slice on her arm covered by a bandage, some antibiotic ointment spread across the bottom of said bandage (free of charge), an extra two hundred zenni alongside her initial five hundred zenni salary, a day of thoughtful... well, thoughts out of her head, and a bit of mental scarring. And of course, the knowledge that she was apparently one badass when she needed to be (with the sliding across the table manuever).
Pretty sweet deal if you asked her.
Author's Note: A few things to note in this opening chapter. One, that little scene at the beginning was for two reasons: One, humor. Two, for me to practice the character and what she will eventually turn into (oh em gee spoilers). I'm going to try to make it a semi-regular thing: a chat between me and a character at the start of a chapter (befpre the actual content, after the title). I can't guarantee every chapter - but I'm thinking once every two or three. Mainly when new characters are introduced. I think it's a good excersise. SUE ME.
Second, Kamesennin, for those who are fans of the English Dragon Ball, is basically the title given to Muten Roshi- Master Roshi for you ENGLISH WATCHIN' PEOPLE-, Turtle Hermit.
Third,Maya's salary may indeed seem a bit heavy. But if my understanding of the yen system is correct, the yen is worth about a tenth of the American Dollar - thus, it would total to about seventy bucks in American money. Seems a reasonable sum for a day of watching a seven year old, then getting your ass handed to you by his batshit insane mother. Yes, I'm basing the zenni currency off yen. SUE ME. Oh, and correct me if I'm wrong, please.
Yes, hi. This here will be a project of mine just to try and annihilate this total loss of will to write, where I can hopefully get onto a more regular schedule with my main stories again. Hopefully that will be soon.
See ya guys next chapter. Next Author's Note won't be nearly as lengthy as this one.