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keep up the good work system error its pretty funny it makes me wanna get the game so bad!!! dont forget to write about the extra missions like the riolu one
keep up the good work system error its pretty funny it makes me wanna get the game so bad!!! dont forget to write about the extra missions like the riolu one
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Twitter Oh, I assure you, I won't. ;)Originally Posted by Jcbfresh100
keep up the good work system error its pretty funny it makes me wanna get the game so bad!!! dont forget to write about the extra missions like the riolu one
Part 101: Epilogue, Part 1
No shit, man! Some dark mist was surrounding me that cleared up after the fight.Sven:
The darkness is lifting!
Wendy:
We can get close to the Shadow Crystal!They still insist on circling. As they do so, though, the shadow crystal glows all sorts of funny colors and Darkrai returns Wheeler and Hall.Keith:
Operation Brighton is on again!
Damn it!Wheeler:
It's... It's so bright...
Am I maybe...
I'm...alive?!
Is that just his job title?Wheeler:
Mr. P-President?!
You've saved me?
You've saved this wretched Wheeler?
Not here.Blake:
...Wh-Where...
Where am I?
Nah, you'd go to hell.Blake:
Am I alive?
Or have I...
Aww...so much for crappy endings.Blake:
Altru...
Yes! This is Altru!
Suddenly, Hastings and Barlow show up.Blake:
I... I was caught up...
In a terrible nightmare...
...Prof. Hastings:
Ah, you've finally awoken from your
nightmare, it seems.
He saw the Wind Fish's nightmares too? Bastards! Dream-raiding bastards!Prof. Hastings:
Is that not so, Blake Hall?
What you just experienced isn't the only
nightmare you saw.
Post-traumatic stress disordered?Prof. Hastings:
You've only now awoken from the nightmare
you've lived for so many years.
Oh, don't give him that! We haven't even done transcribing it!Prof. Hastings:
I have something here that I must return
to you.
It's Brighton Hall's diary.
...k.Prof. Hastings:
That's right. Your father's diary.
We managed to restore it.
Yes, I do mind.Prof. Hastings:
If you'll allow me, may I read some of it aloud?
Is this all shit I've seen before?Prof. Hastings:
Very well.
"X month, XX day
"The oil reserve is down to half that of
last year.
"I fear for the future of Almia.
It is!Prof. Hastings:
"Today, several mysterious black stones
were unearthed from the drilling site.
"They were unlike anything I had ever sene.
They shone with a dark, alluring light.
"I felt something stir in my heart in
response to its fascinating darkness."
Awfully long time between articles, don't you think? Most keep a weekly or daily diary.Prof. Hastings:
The next page is roughtly six months later...
I love how Mime Jr. is still spinning irreverantly during this. Keep on truckin', Mime Jr.Prof. Hastings:
"X month, XX day
"Finally, we discovered a gigantic specimen
of the Dark Shard... The Shadow Crystal!
"However, it is guarded by a Pokemon that
is like darkness itself.
"Though we can see the Shadow Crystal,
the Pokemon keeps us at bay.
Prof. Hastings:
"We have no choice but to make do with the
small Dark Shards we can collect.
"They will allow us to continue with our
studies on dream-energy sources.Whoa whoa whoa, hold the phone. Wyatt Hall? Since when is Blake called Wyatt? Or is Blake adopted or something?Prof. Hastings:
"Today also happened to be my only child
Wyatt Hall's 13th birthday.
Science. Always getting in the way of social lives.Prof. Hastings:
"But because I had become so enthralled
with studying the crystal, it slipped my mind.
No, really, why did they feel the need to give Blake a "real" first name? What's wrong with just keeping it the way it was? This seems like one of those pointless things that was added for supposed dramatic effect, but just ends up being retarded because of its last-minute introduction.Prof. Hastings:
"I felt bad for having done my son Wyatt
wrong..."
Oh, don't fucking tell me...it better not be Wheeler. I swear to god, if it's Wheeler...Prof. Hastings:
Who is this child Wyatt?
This is an entry exactly one year later.
You can do that legally in Almia? Wow. I wouldn't want to live there in a million, nay, a billion years. That's billion with a "B", too.Prof. Hastings:
"X month, XX day
"Today, my only son reached his 14th
birthday.
"Over my wife's protestations, I changed
my son's name from Wyatt to Blake.
Remember, there's no better way to celebrate the changing of your legal name than a cermemony held near a massive crystal of darkness.Prof. Hastings:
"We, my son and I, held a ceremony near the
Shadow Crystal for changing his name.
Remember what I said about every sentence starting with a quote with no end quotes? For this particular line, it, for once, isn't a full "refresh" of the text box, but rather, it does indeed show the weird-ass quotes as you scroll from Shadow Crystal for changing his name on top to "We dedicated my son, who will lead on the bottom.Prof. Hastings:
"We dedicated my son, who will lead
Altru Inc., to the Shadow Crystal.
So he's the victim of a voodoo sacrifice/possession, eh? That sucks. The same problem with the quotes happens here.Prof. Hastings:
"In return, let the Shadow Crystal's
incomparable power flow to my son.
...Brighton, you dickweed.Prof. Hastings:
"May the Shadow Crystal and Blake lead
Altru to glory."
The one about the takeover? Wasn't the book more damaged as you went down, so shouldn't I technically have gotten the above information much earlier, if not only for the fact that it was closer to the top?Prof. Hastings:
This entry comes roughly two years after
Blake's renaming.
Who cares? We never even knew when they were made anyway! X month, X day? That could mean anything!Prof. Hastings:
It's not even dated anymore.
Uhh...so wouldn't it technically be acting as a cleanser for darkness, in a way? Not as a source of it?Prof. Hastings:
"I realize now that I made a terrible and
terrifying mistake.
"The Shadow Crystal, over thousands of
years, absorbed negative feelings.
"It took in the darkness from the hearts
of people and stored it as energy.
Blake Hall: Youngest presidentProf. Hastings:
"My only son Blake has become trapped
in its infinite darkness.
"My own son, who drove me from Altru
Inc. to become its youngest president!
Barack Obama: Youngest president
Blake Hall: Uses darkness
Barack Obama: Dark-skinned
Blake Hall: Corrupt
Barack Obama: Corrupt?
Hmm...
SAVE.US_222Prof. Hastings:
"Blake Hall...
No! Wyatt Hall!
"My son, I promise!
I will save you!
And he died before he could. Good job!Prof. Hastings:
"For the rest of my years, I will od
everything I can to free you!"
Cause he never succeeded.Prof. Hastings:
The diary ended with that entry.
On what? To what you've told us, there was one entry, none for 6 months, another entry, some more over two years, then the last one.Prof. Hastings:
Of course, it also contained a wealth of
information on other matters.
And I thought few knew about them!Prof. Hastings:
For example, it described the secrets of
the Red, Blue, and Yellow Gems.
It also covered the ancient legends of
Almia in great detail.
It's not too late to stop now! Do it for history!Prof. Hastings:
Whuke we failed to decipher the whole thing,
the diary was extremely important.
No, Rangers did.Prof. Hastings:
After all, it made Opertation Brighton
possible.
He heard about them from SOMEWHERE.Prof. Hastings:
As to the three colored gems, you heard
about them from your father, didn't you?
Prof. Hastings:
Isn't that correct, President Wyatt Hall?Blake sounds cooler.Blake:
...Wyatt Hall...
My real name...
Blake:
Just as you said, my father told me the
secret of the three gems.
But by then, I was already entralled by
the Shadow Crystal.Ah-ha! So he was using them for fools!Blake:
All I could think of was how to remove the
Darkrai guarding the Shadow Crystal.
You see, I founded Team Dim Sun to collect
the small Dark Shards...
Well, yeah. Only so many Dark Shards in the world, ya know. This shit ain't free!Blake:
But that approach was simply insufficient.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought the gems were supposed to clense the Shadow Crystal, not free this guy from being possessed. What a cop-out!Blake:
The Rangers managed to gather the three
gems that eluded my father.
Those three gems awakened me from my
long nightmare.
Too bad he's not around to see it, eh?Blake:
Operation Brighton...
My father finally got his wish to save me
today...
At least the legal system steps in and makes this worth it! Community service, I will never look at you in the wrong light again!Barlow:
Blake...
No, that's Wyatt.
You must make amends for your criminal
past.
There'd better not be any bondage involved, though. Really, that stuff is sick!Barlow:
When things settle down, you're in for
some questioning.
Errr.."escorts"?Barlow:
Escorts have arrived from the Union and
are waiting in front of the Altru Building.
Barlow, he's a man who just awakened from a nightmare. He is not a cripple.Barlow:
Can you walk out on your own?
Hall and I share the same mind. Keep bondage in the bedroom and out of the interrogation room!Blake:
You're not trussing me up?
You're allowing me to walk out of here on
my own to meet the escorts?
And then he leaves. With Wheeler.Blake:
...Thank you.
I'm grateful for your kindness...
But you couldn't Target Clear that electric gate. Not even you could do that, muscles. What's going on here?Barlow:
Vlad!
We've rescued Isaac from capitivity.
Don't worry about him.
When all else fails, start smashing stuff. Barlow leaves, but the three other Tops take his place.Barlow:
But. boy. without his cooperation, I doubt
the operation would've succeeded.
They can't hear you, doc.Prof. Hastings:
Rangers!
And all the Union staff, including the
Operators, researchers, and all others!
Isaac, and all the people who provided us
with information!
All of you who love Pokemon, you made this
victory possible.
No power?Prof. Hastings:
Your intelligence, courage, and passion
solved the biggest crisis in Almia's history!
Oh. Oh oh oh. It wasn't enough to steal the definition of the word, now, was it, doc? Now you're going around and stealing birthdays from people. Great. Just great. I'd imagine Jesus and the like feel for this place perfectly.Prof. Hastings:
Truly, you've all gone far beyond the call
of duty.
The day has been transformed from Altru's
birthday to one of celebration for all Almia.
You forbid that?Prof. Hastings:
Let me finish with my usual words spoken
in the best of spirits.
Prof. Hastings:
That's it for Operation Brighton...
Mission Clear!
Part 102: Epilogue, Part 2
Yeah...I kind of have them. They're mine now, all mine! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAProf. Hastings:
...?
Incidently, you three...
You don't seem to have the three gems.
What became of them?
Actually, I find the bursts of light surrounding the now blue shadow crystal. A scene of a woman in Pueltown saying the Pokemon aren't suffering anymore appears, and there's this image on the top screen that shows the tower with a shining light on it. Then there's one of a generic girl watching the tower from the lookout point, and saying the dark cloud over it is gone, and another saying "it is a gorgeous dawn". I thought it was established it was midnight. It then shows the three areas of the gems, before...a scene with the Go-Rock Quads. And people doing the wave by jumping in the air! I shit you not.
Now there's a bunch of people from the game around. There's Vlad, his Mime Jr., Isaac, Melody, Keith, Rhythmi, Barlow, Crawford, Luana, and...some random Doduo, presumably Barlow's because it's behind him. Barlow never mentioned them or any like for them before, why suddenly now?Barlow:
Whoo-yeah! The Go-Rock Quads rule!
Memorial Day? Isn't that like...when you remeber dead people or past events and stuff? Not...you know...celebrate the freedom from a dark event?Barlow:
They're perfect for this hot and sunny
Altru's...
Whoops! I mean, Almia's new memorial day!
Oh, that's it. Fuck it. I'm out for the rest of this ending. Fuck that shit. I refuse to believe Barlow could destroy a high-voltage electric gate. That's just bullshit.Isaac:
The way you shouted "Target Clear" and
punched out the beam generator...
Isaac:
Irs simplicity made it cool!Okay, I'm back, just for this one comment! Big Brother, a capitalized title? This isn't 1984, Melody. And when you take in my previous statements of Isaac liking Melody a little too much into consideration, that last statement becomes so fucking wrong.Melody:
My Big Brother says he's taking a holiday
today.
He said he would play with me all day!
Barlow:
That's great.
I'm glad for you, Melody...Back again...a leak? What the hell? Rhythmi does know that a leak is also the term used for taking a piss, right? You gotta watch your wording.Rhythmi:
Uh-oh, Barlow's sprung a leak.
Funny, because he never cried once while I was around. Gonna go now. Goodbye!Rhythmi:
In spite of his looks, he's famous around
the Union for crying easily.
Keith:
Hey, Vlad...
Do you remember the day we met?Back. Rematch, motherfucker. Right the fuck now.Keith:
When the Bidoof got away from Janice and
ran loose in the school yard?
That time, I beat you in how many Bidoof we
rounded up.
Well all right then. Laters.Keith:
Ever since then, though, you were the one
having to bail me out.
I lied. You still owe me like 31 more. Get to it!Keith:
That's what makes me so glad I got to help
keep you from that darkness.
I am better than you. Yaddayaddayadda. I'm out.Keith:
It's like I finally got to pay you back just
a little for all the help you've given me.
Oh yeah, which reminds me: I gotta trash that stupid wishing statue with Tackle 5 or whatever it was. Now I'm out.Barlow:
People give help and are helped.
That goes for Pokemon, too.
You know who else live by helping each other? COMMUNISTS!!! I was just kidding around when I said that earlier, but wow. It's true? Well, actually, this is more like Socialism, but close enough I guess.Barlow:
Everyone lives by helping each other.
...fuck it. I'm back in. This song...it has a piano in the background, despite none of the Go-Rocks playing it. There's an electric guitarist, violinist, bongo drum or tribal drum or something, and bassist. But no piano player, so why is there not only a piano in the background, but alos one that has a main part of the song? I can hear more drums instead of just the one bongo, too.Barlow:
Don't think of it as what you owe others
or what you are owed.
By the way, this song...
No shit sherlock. He heard that story too and wroth about it. It's not like it's an analogy to what just happened now. Just replace "king of Almia" with "President of Altru" (the two are close enough in power), and "princes in blue, red, and yellow" with "Rangers holding gems of blue, red, and yellow". That's fucking retarded!Barlow:
About how the king of Almia fell into the
embrace of darkness?
And how the three princes in blue, red, and
yellow drew together?
It's just like this storybook my grandma
used to read me when I was a kid.
...and although it is in fact about the story of the past, that analogy almost made too much sense.
Nah, son, I woke up just a few hours ago in real life. I'm good.Barlow:
Vlad, you look ready to fall asleep.
You're not the boss of me, Barlow! And I almost tried to stay up all night to get this, but was too tired to continue.Barlow:
I know you've pulled an all-nighter, but
I've got a Mission for you.
Barlow: "Last night I made a nasty mess in the toiler back at the Union. Go clean it before anyone sees."Barlow:
I'll only say this once, so listen good.
You're ready for this?
Barlow:
Go back home to Chicole Village and show
your family you're doing well*Ultimate Styler/Holy StylerBarlow:
And hsow them th eworld's one-and-only
Vatonage Styler!
k, if I get anymore...Barlow:
This is your final Mission from me!
Then I get forced on the Doduo. Vlad walks through slowly through Vientown, past groups of people from there, and the Doduo runs off as he skips the path to Chicole and warps there quickly, stopping in front of the house.
Geez, Isaac's sister gets a name, why doesn't Vlad's? And stop capitalizing Big Brother!Little Sis:
Welcome home, Big Brother!
Yeah, now we can celebrate the new Memorial Day where we remember something about something instead of the new NEW age of Altru. Great. Yeah. Truly a day of celebration.Little Sis:
They say you saved the day!
Oh, so I didn't save the world there? Wasn't Hall's goal to take over the world, as ambitious, conflicting, and impossible as it was? I guess it's true: people in Almia don't care about other regions, aside from a few passing references to Fiore. Even Vlad's family, who came from Fiore, don't care about it. It's all Almia now, baby.Little Sis:
Hans, the newspaper reporter, came and
told us!
He called you a hero who saved Almia and
Pokemon!
That is so awesome!
What do they even eat in the Pokemon world, anyway? Last I checked, Dad wasn't doing too well with the growing, so I guess I'm going to eat dirt? Failing that, corn, maybe?Mom:
I knew you'd come home this morning.
It's a mother's intuition.
That's why I prepared breakfast for you,
too.
Yeah. Kinda hard to do that when I took a timewarp from midnight to dawn and got stuck IN A LAND FULL OF NIGHTMARES. But other than that, hey.
They make beds from plush in Almia? God damn.Mom:
After you eat, go upstairs and have a nice
long nap in your plush bed.
Dad:
Vlad...
Welcome home.
You never gave up, in spite of all the
adversity you faced.
I'm so proud of you.
Stew for breakfast? What kind of backwards-ass country is this? Most people I know have cereal for breakfast, or eggs. And maybe bacon, toast, or hashbrowns. Sausauges if you're really exotic!Dad:
Come in.
Mom's made us some vegetable stew.
Let's all dig in!
And that's it! Roll credits, motherfuckers! Wait a minute, where's my Mission Clear!? Did I even accept that Mission? Barlow, you dick!
Various scenes from the game are shown during the credits.
- First partner capture
- Using Blastoise to put out that fire
- Confronting the Dim Suns at Pueltown
- Chasing the Sharpedo underwater
- Before fighting Drapion on the Cargo Ship
- Standing in the green screen room, about to be promoted to Top Ranger
- In the room where the Shadow Crystal was in Chroma Ruins with Sven and Keith
- Meeting the Lucario in Almia Castle
- Meeting the Heatran in Boyle Volcano
- Wailmer being captured in the Sea of Wailord
- Meeting Heath in Hippowdon Temple
- The raid on the Ranger Union by the Sinis Trio, specifically when Lavana was threatening Melody
- Magmortar knocking Keith away
- Keith saving Vlad from Darkrai's doom sucking
- Vlad with his family at the end
- The title logo
THE END
Thanks for playing!
I get a Ranger Record at the end, too. Sort of like a post-game stats screen like in Metal Gear Solid. Don't know if I'll see it again, but here's my stats as of the ending.
Field
No. of Steps Walked: 0040738
No. of Conversations: 01196
Targets Checked: 00444
No. of Saves: 00140
No. of Pokemon Rides: 00137
No. of Quests Cleared: 40/60
Play Time: 52:58
Captures
Best Partner: Cranidos
Pokemon Captured: 0873
Abandoned Attempts (Fled): 0034
Poke Assists Used: 0203
Capture Line Length (ft.): 426077
No. of Loops: 013265
Current Exp. Points: 0216426
My game gets saved. And that's it! Next time, we're getting into the post-game side-quests!
And now, for the post game stuff.
Part 103: Young People Suck, but so do Old People for that Matter
So, the game drops me back at the title screen after the credits. On that note, the Ranger Union kind looks like a dick on the Continue screen. If you stay there long enough, you get booted out back to "Touch the Screen!" Okay.
I continue.
I am watching you.Little Sis:
Big Brother?
Haven't we done this dance before? "Little Sis", I was up all night saving the world from an entity of pure darkness that causes nightmares. I deserve all the rest I fucking want.Little Sis:
...Wake up.
No thanks to you, you little shit. >:(Little Sis:
Wah!
You woke up easier than I thought!
Still? A week ago? WHAT!?!! You seriously can't be saying I slept like Rip Van Winkle.Little Sis:
Big Brother, are you sleepy?
Operation Brighton was a week ago, but
the Almia Times is still writing about it.
The papers reads...The Almia Times, Vol.13! "TOP RANGER SAVES ALMIA!" Huh. It also reads:Little Sis:
It really was something special, wasn't
it?
What is this, the Japanese title of an episode of the TV show? The omnipresent photographer, as usual, had some shots to show off. He not only captured my fight with Darkrai, the tower after the barriers were gone, and parading through Vientown on a Doduo, but he also managed to photograph something that never happened: Barlow leading Blake Hall and Wheeler down from the roof of building. Despite the fact that they left at far different times.Altru Inc. Was Team Dim Sun!
Pres. Blake the Mastermind?!
Okay I guess. Back downstairs, Vlad's family is waiting.Little Sis:
Mom was calling for you downstairs!
She has a history of this? Jesus. Vlad needs to get a lock.Mom:
Oh, hi, good morning!
Did she wake you up again?
Please spank the bitch. Not in the sexual way either, do it all pain and punishment like.Mom:
I told here to let you sleep some more.
Which one? You or her? Stop talking in fragments!Mom:
It's only because this one's such an early
riser herself, isn't it?
Yeah, you better sweat in fear, bitch.Little Sis:
Ehehe...
Oh, I assure you. My inevitable promotion to the great Rank 10 awaits me!Mom:
Chairperson Erma called.
She wants to see you at the Union.
She said it wasn't urgent, though.
I wonder what it's about?
Needed? I practically wiped crime in Almia off the map. If I'm anything, I'm out of a job!Dad:
It must feel good to know that you're
needed.
Bye now.Little Sis:
Take care!
I automatically warp to the Ranger Union to get the not-so-urgent news. Which is good, because I was going to go anyway.
Yeah, no thanks to "Little Sis".Chairperson Erma:
I trust you've rested well, dear?
I didn't mention this earlier, but when I left the HQ after that attack, there were no signs of damage, either on the door or the second floor. I'd imagine something like one way portals through damage would've been a bitch to clean up!Chairperson Erma:
Repairs to the HQ took longer than we
expected.
But here we are.
Yes...Chairperson Erma:
Vlad, in recognition of your work
in Operation Brighton...
YES! The perks of Ranger Rank 10? Oh, nothing really.Chairperson Erma:
I am certifying you to Ranger Rank 10.
...
No, really, nothing at all. Well, I can do Ranger Net missions, but those are like non-canon or some shit. So Ranger Rank 10 is really just like a "master of the universe" merit badge.
Two tickets to paradise? Won't you pack your bags with me tonight?Chairperson Erma:
Vlad, I also have a small gift.
Nice job game, not telling me what it is. You're really helpful.Vlad accepted something from
Chairperson Erma.
Oh! One ticket to the Capture Arena! Which is...god knows whereChairperson Erma:
That is an entry pass to the Capture
Arena.
I didn't like it too much in the original, but maybe this will be better?Chairperson Erma:
The Capture Arena is a place where
one can test one's skills.
Chairperson Erma forgets to tell me the most important part: where it is.Chairperson Erma:
Go and try it out.
Yeah, fuck you too.Chairperson Erma:
Its whereabouts...
Well, let's have you search for it.
No, it'd be like...annoying!Chairperson Erma:
It would be like a game for a chance,
wouldn't you agree?
Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Now you're just being a pompous little cunt. You know what? I take back "fuck you". It has implications that I just don't stand by under any circumstances now.Chairperson Erma:
I'll give you a hint.
It's somewhere in this world.
Great. Yeah. Cause I'm the only one who can walk around these parts.Chairperson Erma:
You, of all people, should have no trouble
finding it.
Once a Ranger, always a Ranger. You cannot escape. It is your destiny.Chairperson Erma:
Incidentally...
Thought the Altru incident came to a safe
conclusion, a Ranger's job isn't finished.
Erma. I'm a Pokemon Ranger, not an ecologist.Chairperson Erma:
There still remains the responsibility of
protecting Pokemon and nature.
Yeah, it's called you.Chairperson Erma:
Also there is another challenge that, so
far, none have beaten in Almia.
I was going to anyway. You don't need to give me permission.Chairperson Erma:
The race to completely fill the Bowser.
You may try your hand at that, dear.
God, does this woman ever shut the fuck up? It's always "one more thing" with her.Chairperson Erma:
Oh yes, one other thing.
Chairperson Erma: "Oh yes, and you need to change your underwear every day. It is important for good hygiene!"
Chairperson Erma: "Another thing. Elaine took apart the toaster back at the Ranger Base in Vientown. Would you be so kind as to search for the missing part, so I may have Pop Tarts when I visit there?"
Chairperson Erma: "By the way, Indiana Jones called asking for help. He needs your assistance in finding the Lost Ark."
Great! Now I can check it anytime I want by going all the way back here! Not like you could've built it into the menu or anything, game designers!Chairperson Erma:
You can now check your Ranger Record on
the ground floor of this HQ building.
You may want to examine it.
And like the Energizer Bunny, Chairperson Erma just keeps going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going...Chairperson Erma:
You may also find new discoveries in places
you've already visited, too.
And she finally shuts the fuck up.
Thank you, generic female Area Ranger! That was more helpful than anything that blattering old bag said to me!Area Ranger:
The Capture Arena's location?
I've heard it's a small island somewhere,
but that's all I know.
I thought you said that's all you knew.Area Ranger:
Oh, I do know that you can't get there
from Pueltown's harbor.
Boyletown and Haruba Desert, I guess. Why you wouldn't be able to get there from Pueltown but can from one of those places, though, I don't know. Oh yeah, there's also that place in the Ranger Union with the wishing thing...wait a minute...could it be there!? We shall see!Area Ranger:
Do you know if there is any other place a
boat can moor?
Last edited by System Error; 17th November 2008 at 08:19 PM.
DiggDel.icio.usTechnoratiTwitter WOW. That's all I can say.
Have you seen the finale Almia Times yet? I'm curious as to what happens to Altru Inc. when Blake is arrested.
DiggDel.icio.usTechnoratiTwitter Yeah. It's in the most recent update (Part 103). As for 14 though...I haven't seen it, or if it exists. It isn't clear on what happened to him, though, but maybe I'll find out when looking around.WOW. That's all I can say.
Have you seen the finale Almia Times yet? I'm curious as to what happens to Altru Inc. when Blake is arrested.
Part 104: Mop-Job
Well, as I said before, the main game is done, so there's nothing left to do but finish off the quests and get this done. There's a quest right near here from Rhythmi, who is blocking the way up to the Tree of Harmony, so let's do this one!
Why, is there like a poisonous doom rat up there or something?Rhythmi:
Whoa! You can't go up!
Stop! Stop!
The roses aren't red? Are the violets not blue, either?Linda:
The roses aren't...
*sigh* Rhythmi, we've been over this back in Ranger School.Rhythmi:
Oh, yes, you can help us with this!
The rose in a Roserade's right hand...
What color is it? Red? Or blue?
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
...you know the rest.
And, incidently, Roserade does have a red rose in its right hand, but it also has a blue flower.
You're arguing over the color of a fucking flower? What is this, kindergarten?Linda:
...Uh, that's right, yes!
We're arguing over that.
I wouldn't call it a hand, but...Linda:
Whether a Roserade's right hand is red or
blue, we need to know.
ô_ōLinda:
Honestly, we're really, really fighting over
that!
No cherry on top?Rhythmi:
Pretty please!
Think of it as a once-in-a-lifetime plea?
Whatever.Rhythmi:
We want you to go capture a Roserade
right now!
Vien Forest? I mean, it's the only one.Linda:
I've heard a Roserade lives deep in a
forest somewhere.
Why me? What's wrong with Keith, or Sven, or even Crawford?Linda:
Please, it has to be you to do it!
Outside, I find Wendy, who has another quest, that she can't take for some reason. And an old man with another quest. They're everywhere! They're gonna kill us all! In town, I hear stuff about the new Altru. I also learn Paul and Paula are moving YET AGAIN to follow the Go-Rock Quads.
246. Roserade
As I guessed, it was in the deepest part of the woods near that crystal. Speaking of which, I need to Crush 5 that bad boy sometime. Garchomp has that ability, and the browser says it's in Hippowdon Temple. I also find a few Shiftrys around this area, which I don't think were there before.
...k.Rhythmi:
Vlad, welcome back!
Come on up! Quick!
There are all sorts of flowers on the roof, and a flower cart? How did it even get up there?
With flowers on the roof.Linda:
Sorry for lying to you.
We were getting ready for this surprise
party.
...Linda:
We thought up the Quest so we could
keep the party a secret from you.
Quest cleared. Then...nothing happens with the Roserade. Erma, Hastings, Wendy, Sven, and Keith come up, and there's a picnic. Yadda yadda yadda. Where's my reward? The scene changes to the third floor, with Vlad and Rhythmi standing down there.
Oh yeah?Rhythmi:
I couldn't give this to you earlier because
of the party.
Here you go!
That's it? Nothing better than that? Not that big sticker? Why did I even need the Roserade? I try Wendy's quest next.Obtained Bug Defense.
Your guy? Whaaaaa?Wendy:
Vlad, do you have a little time?
My guy's been feeling down lately...
Ohhhh! I think that's the first time someone in this game has caught their inneundo!
He's the new Blake. We must kill him.Wendy:
During Operation Brighton, he took the
Incredible Machine's power full-blast.
Oh.Wendy:
He hurt his wings from it.
His wounds have healed completely, but he
hasn't got over the trauma.
HE'S FLYING RIGHT NOW!Wendy:
I think he's lost confidence in himself to
fly.
Oh, that's easy! I'll go get one right now!Wendy:
I want him to remember being wild.
I want him to see wild Staraptor.
I think seeing the Wild Staraptor will give
him the confidence to soar again.
(Fuck.)Wendy:
If possible, I'd like him to form a small
flock of seven, including himself.
But anyway, I accept, and go out and get the Staraptors. It wasn't too hard (Doduo made it faster), but I did have to ditch the rest of my Pokemon.
...yes. Let's just say it was.Wendy:
Thank you! It must have been a pain.
She used that term again! Jesus. Does she sleep with that thing? They circle it, just like it were the Shadow Crystal,Wendy:
Let's see if this will work.
Please, Staraptor, show my guy what it's
like to fly!
They all fly off. God, Staraptor's cry gets annoying after a while of hearing so many of them in quick succession. For this, I get...Wendy:
Yes! That's the way!
My guy's remembered how to fly again!
- Latent Power
That's my second one. This one will boost my power if my Styler drops into the yellow zone, whereas the previous one only did it for the Orange. Still, that's over a 2/3rds loss before the gain starts to appear.
Now for the Old Man's quest.
...so? Ants do it.
Well, yeah. After a long while of bench pressing, no barbell will be heavy enough to help your muscles grow.Old Man:
It must've been in training or something,
using that huge boulder like a barbell.
Happens all the time. No, really. It really does happen a lot.Old Man:
I watched the Machop train from morning.
The sun was warm and pleasant.
I must've fallen asleep, when I heard this
huge boom.
I have to go check on the Machop, because after that, he saw the boulder, but no Machop. I also find I can't ride into Peril Cliffs on a Doduo. Why? I just can't.
247. Aerodactyl
All right, just what the hell was this thing doing here? And why was it so hard to catch? I found that I needed it though, as the Machop was in the area where the Gigaremo were, behind the boulder, which needed Crush 4, which this had.
248. Machop
Another partner Pokemon. On my way back, I found a Rampardos, which I caught. It's got Tackle 5. I take it back to Ranger School. Because there's nothing like ramming a symbol of hopes and dreams with a giant dinosaur! When it rams the Pledge Stone, it moves aside, revealing...a secret passage! What could be under there!?
Part 105: A History Lesson
So I have just rammed the Pledge Stone! A symbol of hope in the Pokemon World! All for the sake of finding what's under it! Could there be...a Capture Challenge place under it!?!!!?
No.
Just a bunch of old books and stuff.
Damn.This appears to be an old shared journal.
There is a padlock on it.
Damn!There are many old notebooks piled up
in stacks.
Quality over quantity."Bonding with Pokemn: A Quantitative
Analysis of 'Heart'"
This appears to be Prof. Hasting's
doctorare paper.
So did she suddenly lose interest over the years?"Songs Dedicated to Pokemon"
This appears to be a collection of poetry
by Chairperson Erma from long ago.
...DAMN!"Pokemon Were My Teachers"
This seems to be an essay written by
Princepal Lamont.
All that just for some easter egg? Weak.It's an old black-and-white photograph.
It shows three children.
There are a boy wearing glasses and a girl
with her hair pulled back in pigtails,
There is also a boy wearing a white lab coat.
He looks very impatient.
The ever-present cameraman also seemed to have captured footage of Vlad, who not only was easily identifyable after the event, but also looked "fantastic".Male Student:
I saw a special TV news feature on
Operation Brighton!
It even had footage of the darkness
fading from around the tower.
You looked fantastic in it!
I hope she means like, a yearbook or something. Otherwise, someone wrote a book on me in just a week or so after OB? WHAAAAA?Female Student:
You looked awfully familiar, and then it
dawned on me.
You're Vlad!
You're in the book I'm reading now.
In the staff room, I find Ms. April and Principal Lamont with quests. I start with Ms. April's.
...so?
Well that's what squirrels kind of do.
This school, like I said, needs better staff.Ms. April:
Mr. Kaplan and I tried capturing it, but it
was too quick for us.
Wow, he must have had a really big nose. He'd better stay away from ovens.Ms. April:
This is strictly between you and me.
Mr. Kaplan...
The poor guy...
The Pachirisu bit him on his nose.
So I have to go find the Pachirisu and catch it. Where is it, though? If you guessed "in a conspciously placed crate that wasn't there before", then congratulations!
Speaking of which, who had a mind to stick Pachirisu dolls in crates everywhere when one was in the school? Multiple crates with Pachirisu dolls. By the way, there's a glitch here. I got the Bidoof in the hall, broke a crate near the library, got the Bidoof, then went inside the library and broke the crate there. When I came back out, the Pachirisu doll in the first crate was stuck in a potted plant!...This appears to be only a plush doll.
249. Pachirisu
Ah-ha! So I could obtain it later! But in this encounter, it had way more HP. Ms. April just comments on my abilities improving.
By the way, one thing I didn't mention before. There's some weird robot-ish machine on the second floor of the Ranger School. It can talk, too, and gives the same dialogue as ordinary Operators.
Now Lamont's quest.
If this is going where I think it's going, I'm out.Principal Lamont:
Vlad...
Oh. Well, sure!Principal Lamont:
Can you keep a secret?
Huh? That room? Was that for this quest? Sweet, I guess I don't have to unlock it again!Principal Lamont:
It's about a secret, actually.
A secret only known to three people.
Yep, looks like it.Principal Lamont:
The three are Prof. Hastings, Chairperson
Erma, and me.
This is like opening your Christmas presents early then wrapping them back up, don't you think?Principal Lamont:
We three would like to share our secret
with someone much younger.
And that younger person..
That would be you, Vlad.
:DPrincipal Lamont:
On the east (>) side of the school yard,
at the south (v) end, there are stairs.
Yes, it's Ascension Square.
In it stands the Pledge Stone...
That's all I'm willing to tell you.
Off you go.
Excellent, now I can read that diary.Principal Lamont:
Oh, no, I musn't forget.
I'll entrust you with the key.
More like threw over, cause he didn't move, and I was like 10 feet away.Principal Lamont handed over a key!
Now, back to that hidden place with that diary...
All three what? Hippies, cows, bulldozers?This appears to be a diary shared by all
three.
Not for long. Vlad gets a "!" over his head, MGS style, something shines over his head, like a lightbulb, and...It is locked.
Let's read this shit.The lock opened!
So, this is like, how Ranger School was founded? But then why were they here, at Ranger School, learning how to make the first Stylers?"X Month, XX Day
I am twitching with excitement.
"I am very close to figuring out how we could
communicate our feelings to Pokemon!
sting.gif"I'm on the verge of a breakthrough!
Hatsting"
...WHAT THE FUCKDGSFJIGHU45KLJH958RHGK;EHJGPDIkjlfhUIHkljdsgh7dgs8odshkljh7dhf\"X Month, XX Day
That is wonderful to hear, Hastings.
"But you should slow down.
You don't want to be too hasty.
The meaning behind Hastings' name just hit me.
No, I think he's just dumb or something. Or mispronouncing it - like I did with things when I was a kid."Why, you've even misspelled your own name!
Erma"
Sting, the wrestler, except with a hat."X Month, XX Day
So I did! I did misspell my own name.
"Hatsting... Sounds like an odd fellow!
Who could this mysterious Hatsting be?
Heh heh heeeeeeh!"Perhaps Erma's boyfriend?!
Hastings"
I don't know about that...sure, they get along well, it's a bit of a stretch to say they get along so well it's known across the whole land."X Month, XX Day
You two get along famously.
Of course, having competent educators helps."I'm thinking of education systems that
can teach kids properly about Pokemon.
Those already existed before then, I think. Just not in Almia."My dream is to build a school for that one
day.
"Yes, a school about Pokemon.
Lamont.
Oh, now they don't do the quote thing."X Month, XX Day
That's a wonderful dream to have.
I hope you will make that dream come true.
k"It's a dream worth keeping.
Erma
Congratulations! Other people in other regions only did it 1000 years ago! Have a beer, man, you've earned it!"X Month, XX Day
I'm counting on your support, too.
"I've finally worked out the concept of
capturing Pokemon!
I suggest a round, ball shape."The next step is to develop the actual
tool for performing captures.
Altru somehow got by costs! You can too!"This could be a challenge, however.
Hastings"
Manpower is always helpful."X Month, XX Day
Capture?
"I have no idea what that is, but I would
like to hear about it when you ahve time.
"I may be able to offer you help.
Lamont"
To marry him?"X Month, XX Day
I'm glad to hear of your dreams.
I have a dream, too.
To marry one?It also has to do with Pokemon.
Was Almia in a state of crisis at this point from pollution and stuff? What would prompt her to do that?"I want to actively protect Pokemon and
the natural environment.
The route theme that's playing in here actually fits when you're reading the diary. It's confusing otherwise."To do so, I suppose I should form an
official organization...
"I wouldn't know where to begin...
Erma"
That's what they said about blimps, and the concept kind of blew up in their face, did it not?"X Month, XX Day
I have an idea, and it's brilliant!
"I will develop a device for capturing
Pokemon.
"Lamont will make a school that teaches
about capturing Pokemon.
"And Erma can make an organization for
protecting Pokemon and people by using
captures in a peaceful manner.Please. I prefer the term...term for a group that has a bunch of like-minded people taken in by force. >_>"The organization would be a gathering of
the like-minded. A union, if you will.
How did they set this thing up, anyway? Was it like a book they hid somewhere and went to write in whenever they felt like it?"Maybe our dreams could actually be one
dream seen three different ways.
"Maybe our dreams are the same.
Hastings.
The term kind of loses its impact once you've found out it was thought up on the fly by someone."X Month, XX Day
Pokemon Ranger!
"How do you like the sound of it?
It's a name I just thought up!
Then what's the term for someone who uses the capture technique for war? Pokemon Repulsa? Maybe Pokemon Lord?"It's the name for someone that uses the
capture technique for peace.
I thought she was the one who randomly thought it up."A Ranger uses captures for protecting
Pokemon, nature, and people.
"If that name works for you two, it would
set the name of my organization-to-be.
"It would be the Ranger Union.
Erma"
And yet, it would not set the name for his invention-to-be. Those got named after stylers, more than likely."X Month, XX Day
Pokemon Ranger sounds good!
"If that works for Hastings, it would also
set the name for my school-to-be.
Well, yeah. "Lamont's Funky Wonderiferous Radically Cool School of Awesomeness" wouldn't sit too well with the parents."It would be the Ranger School, naturally.
Lamont"
It's a good thing the Stylers weren't named after it, either. "Ranger Tool" or "Ranger Stick" would just sound wrong!"X Month, XX Day
I concur with Pokemon Ranger!
"The Ranger Union and Ranger School
sound excellent as well.
The...the..."Also, I spent all last night drawing up the
blueprints for my capturing device!
"I shall name it...
Well, at least it was a better name than "Ranger Tool". Also, he misspelled his name again. "Hatagnits" sounds more like an STD than a person's name."The Capture Loopy-Looper!
Hatagnits"
Again, I'll comment on the X Month, XX Day thing. Do they like, only have single-digit months in Almia or something? And why not add "XXXX Year" on, either? At least "XX Year". In all truthfulness, this just seems like a cop-out by the writers. If they did it for the ones in Cinnabar Mansion, why not here?"X Month, XX Day
The Capture Loopy-Looper...?
Yeah...it's not like this is something that is read regularly or something. He was probably sleeping at the time this was written."One hopes there would be a better name
than that.
"You also signed off as Hatagnits.
You should get some sleep.
Ah, so they exchanged it, didn't they? So how did they know who to send it to next? There's no pattern to the order they've written in it. Did they use telepathy or something?"Also, exchanging a journal like this is
too slow!
Why they didn't just do that in the first place, I don't know. This is like a bizarre, psuedo-ancient version of email and online friends they've got going on here."We need to get together and really talk,
the three of us.
So, it's been established now that this room was put here sometime before the Pledge Stone was. So then who made the Pledge Stone? And how did Hastings even dig through concrete, anyway? Most eight-year-olds I know dig holes in dirt or sand, not concrete. And they certainly don't fashion a room into a nice, smooth square shape either!"We should meet at that spot.
On that small island easy of Vientown.
"In the secret underground room that
Hastings dug.
"That's where we'll meet!
Erma"
That's the last entry. And so, the Rangers were born.
Who's there!?????:
Very good of you to find this place.
Erma comes in from fucking nowhere.Principal Lamont:
This is where we three gathered to talk
about our big dreams.
It's also where we pledged support for
each other's dreams.
And Hastings, too!Chairperson Erma:
How many decades has it been?
It brings back memories...
And I still haven't learned how he came to the name "Styler" from a realistic standpoint. Like I said, they're likely named for the DS's styluses, but how would he realistically know about that?Prof. Hastings
You've gotten a peek at my idealistic
youth.
It's somewhat embarrassing!
Wahaha!
Yeah, but we needed some magical stone or some shit to do so. You did it all by yourselves!Principal Lamont:
When would it be now...?
I remember you, Keith, and Rhythmi pledging
to make each other's dreams come true.
That would have been at the Ascension
Square outside.
Except Rhythmi (girl, Erma) and Keith (obvious comparison to Hastings due to hastiness) don't get along very well. Err...do they?Principal Lamont:
That scene was like seeing our younger
selves all over again.
It's true, you know. It applies to the real world too. For better or for worse. Actually, mostly for worse. Rednecks, racism, and whatnot.Chairperson Erma:
Over decades, centuries, millenniums, we
hope our dreams never die.
We hope our ideals are passed on without
end from generation to generation.
And yet, you didn't invite Keith or Rhythmi.Chairperson Erma:
That is why we wanted you to see this
place. Where our dreams began.
So I'm like Obama? Sweet!Chairperson Erma:
You represent the future...
You give us hope for the future.
I got some Morpheous rip-off convicted. I could live off that forever!Prof. Hastings:
Don't be pressured by those words.
You should do as you've always done by
the strength of your own convictions.
Incidently, some little kids have dialogue calling it similar things. And I still don't get to know where he got "Styler"! Sure, they have all that other meta humor, but not this?Prof. Hastings:
...But Capture Loop-Looper...
What was I thinking?!
Sweet. Where's my reward!??!Prof. Hastings:
Wahahahaha!
Quest Clear!
No, I just took a quest and did a Target Clear. No biggie.Principal Lamont:
You've done well to crack our secret.
...but I'm always willing to accept a reward!Principal Lamont:
I'd like you to have this as your reward,
Vlad.
- Dragon Defense
...that's it!? Aww...
Anyone else notice Lamont was noticeably less flamboyant back then? That gimmick even seems to have been dropped now.Principal Lamont:
I hope you will keep at your quest of making
your dreams come true.
My thoughts go with you.
Not much different, only older and using grandma terms like "dear".Chairperson Erma:
I hope you will carry our dreams forward.
Same old, same old.Prof. Hastings:
Well, well, remembering the past rekindled
my enthusiasm!
Back to the lab!
There is always more research to be done!
Part 106: Side-Tracks, not Side-Quests
I start off this with a quest from Vlad's Mom.
He has an office job. He doesn't need you to make him a portable one, if that's what you meant.Mom:
You caught me in the middle of making
your father's lunch.
Uhh, aren't quests just free anyway? Why would you need a piece of paper to do it?Mom:
By the way, your Prof. Hastings gave me
something called a "Quest Coupon."
It says, "Redeemable for a Quest anywhere,
anytime, any way you choose!"
The way she's talking, it sounds like she's being bossy. Or talking to me before I'm about to commit suicide.Mom:
Okay, this is your mother speaking.
Just use "Little Sis". Put her to work around here instead of lounging around all day.Mom:
I'm so busy, so I need someone to read
to me the recipe I have taped to the fridge.
Wait, taped!? Doesn't Almia have magnets? You know the things we use in real life?! And it's only a few feet away! What kind of quest is this? And on that note, what kind of a fridge is this anyway? It has a top part and a bottom part, that's all cool. But most fridges like that are part freezer (the top) and part fridge (the bottom). This looks more like part fridge (top) and part storage cabinet, a-la under a stove (bottom).Mom:
I only need you to read me the note I
taped to the fridge.
"Chop delicious fresh vegetables from
the Partner Farm in big chunks.
"Drop them inot a pot of hot water and
boil until tender.
"And that's all."Easiest shit ever.Mom:
Thank you, sweetie.
That's all it took to clear that Quest!
>Little Sis:
Boo.
Hey, go eat a dick, "Little Sis". You don't even have a real name. I had to copy it all down here and make comments on it all! Not easy stuff!Little Sis:
That's too easy to be a Quest.
Fuck yeah, Mom! She's 2/2 in shutting that little brat up! If I were Vlad, I'd be getting a little Oedipal now!Mom:
Oh, it's all right, dear.
Vlad is tired from work.
For once, Hastings calls to confirm Quest Clear! That's good! I didn't mention why I don't like Rhythmi, so here it is: she sounds way too motherly. In the bad, annoying way, that isn't appropriate for a friend.Prof. Hastings:
It's me, Hastings!
- Fighting DefenseYour mother, that Quest Coupon I gave her,
she appears to have put it to use, yes?
I certainly hope that you did something
good for your mother to show you care.
Anyway, that's a Quest Clear!
Here's your Power-up Data!
Cool, I guess.
I check the quest list, and find another quest that interests me: to bring a Pokemon that can summon rain to Haruba Village. Nothing wrong with getting it beforehand, right? So I get the Blastoise and fly to the village. But before I do that, I go do another quest that's nearby. To go check out something at the Temple, meaning I have to go through that damn cannon room...again. What is it, you ask? Only a Hippopotas, about to fall around a dangerously high 7 feet into some sand.
Surpringly, the trip goes fairly well. How do I save the Hippopotas? Why by running up to it and fighting it of course!
250. Hippopotas
This somehow warps it further up the nose of the Hippowdon face. Then it joins as a partner. There's another one right outside. *sigh*
So?
So if it gets stuck, how do you know about it? How does it even get out so it can wander in again?!Explorer:
Apparantly, it keeps going farther and
farther in until it gets stuck.
Whaaa!? You're a Ranger too?!?!?!Explorer:
I tried catching it a couple times so I
could set it loose, but I couldn't do it.
Bah! I've dealt with a fucking shark that did this and I caught it. A little bird should be no problem! How deep it is, though...that may be a problem. I find it in the room with all the arrow tiles. This leads me to ask how it got through the part with the corkscrew elevators. I ended up chasing it in a circle for a bit, after trying to Snake it, but when that wasn't working, then realized how to get it - use the arrows to get to it at a point where it was just in front of the room's entrance.Explorer:
You see, it's really timid.
It flees if it sees you coming,
251. Starly
Hey, don't hate the playa. Hate the game! We put in work, and what do you do? Just explore around places in self-indulgance.Explorer:
You know, I really look down
on Rangers.
That's better. Starly also joined as a partner. I caught the nearby Espeon to teleport me out. FINALLY, the Blastoise quest.Explorer:
Er, that's not right.
I look up to them.
This reminds me...remember how I said people can't survive more than three days without water? Well, it's been longer than three days, and everyone in Haruba is still alive. Well, there's the one near Hippowdon Temple, but why hasn't that one dried up, either? There's allegedly a sandstorm there all the time - why hasn't IT dried up?Old Woman:
Young man, may I ask for your help?
The terrible sandstorm that we had has
caused our oasis to dry up.
Which I just got done saying.Old Woman:
We are quickly running low on even drinking
water, which we need to survive.
Not only do I have to do the dance, though, but I also have to do it out of sight of three kids so they think they did it. Okay...either way, the rain quickly fills the Oasis up.
YOU COULDN'T...ah, forget it. I've said it enough.Old Woman:
Oh, thank goodness...
We can survive here now.
- Recovery
Another one of these.
Part 107: Jerry Alan Polval's Testicular Test for Women
With that last item, I now heal by not 1, but 3 after every capture, thanks to it giving a boost of 2 in addition to my 1. Of course, it makes using the critical damage ones that much harder, but hey.
I check another quest in advance before going to it to prepare for it. Seems like old Mrs. Winter is having a little problem with three ice blocks. Therefore I do the only appropriate thing: get three Rapidashes in advance.
YOU NEVER GO THERE!Mrs. Winter:
Three huge blocks of ice have fallen in
front of Almia Castle.
They're a real headache.
Didn't she give me a quest before? With the same excuse? Wonder what would've happened if both were available.Mrs. Winter:
Pardon?
There's no on in the castle, so who would
be disturbed by the ice blocks?
It's quite true what you say, but...
Hahaha.
So I grab the Staraptor from Shive Camp and fly there. The Ice Blocks only need Burn 2 to sublime, so Rapidash's Burn 3 is a little bit of overkill, but hey.
252. Glaceon
Remember that ledge near the castle with only a lone Empoleon? Well, I found it wasn't lone anymore. I rode back after this and talked to her to complete the quest and claim my reward.
- Flying Defense
Only ten stickers left to get. I go to another quest that interests me: a Pokemon waiting for me in Boyleland. She saw a Pelipper looking around in the Volcano.
Kinda hard for it to do that, don't you think?Old Woman:
It seemed as if it wanted to say something
to someone.
...what the hell...I find the Pelipper right away.Old Woman:
Of course, I can't figure out what that
Pelipper is trying to convey.
I would think the Pelipper is waiting for
someone like you.
You're being waited on.
You should go.
That's nice.Pelipper:
Peluawaa.
The stupid bird makes me follow it all the way to the second floor.
Did it see a ghost? It does know I'm not the one to call if there's something strange in the neighborhood, right?The Pelipper appears to be calling.
Over where it leads me, there's a Gible, freaking out for some reason.
The game fails to mention how it is hurt. Then it attacks, seeming not very hurt in the fight.The Gible appears to be hurt.
It is warily looking this way.
253. Gible
So what happens then? It spins around, as if being untied. From a rope a smidgeon too tight.
Well, all capturing does is convey feelings of friendship towrds a Pokemon, and that's all I did, so the only way this could be true is if the Gible was lonely or heartbroken. I can't tell if it's a male or female, though (it looks male, because of a few pixels), so I don't know it it would be weird or gay and weird. It also becoms a partner.The GIble's injury was treated.
There's another quest in the area, so I decide to do it.
Dude...tte...he's the goddamned Elder. To expect he hasn't done anything for the village would be like expecting not to get burnt by a hot stove.Elder's Granddaughter:
It may surprise you, but my grandpa has
done many things for the village.
Snow Festivals? What the hell kind of volcanic island holds snow festivals, events that would cause massive flooding once the snow is melted?Elder's Granddaughter:
For example, he held Snow Festivals every
year.
Hey, that Snover came, so why shouldn't some others?Elder's Granddaughter:
He would get Pokemon to make it snow,
which is obviously rare here.
Uhh...most people used to warm environments that I know do NOT in any way, shape, or form, enjoy being cold. And forcing them to experience it? I don't think some would take very kindly to it.Elder's Granddaughter:
He did it so the people could experience
and enjoy coldness.
Yeah, because you're in a goddamned volcanic island. Natural selection and whatnot weeded out those Ice types foolish enough to wander into a fucking volcano.Elder's Granddaughter:
But in the past several years, we've had
no luck finding snow-making Pokemon.
I'm sure some people cheered over it.Elder's Granddaughter:
Without snow, we've had to cancel our
Snow Festivals.
Err...correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't such things supposed to happen on a certain day of the year, not randomly and whenever you feel like it?Elder:
That's it!
We've not had a Snow Festival yet!
Let's have a Snow Festival!
Right now!
We've a Ranger who can help!
The Elder's Granddaughter agrees, says there are Pokemon and Hia Valley that can make it snow and...AND...
Ironically, there are several other better options. Like, Abomasnow. But, this is Pokemon Ranger. I need to comply with requests, no matter how stupid.
Glalie comes easily enough. But Froslass? Not so much so.
254. Weavile
I found this thing as I tried to go for it deep in the castle. I end up getting hit 12000 times, but hey. I instead find Froslass outside, on one of those balconies between towers. I was wondering when that was going to be used! At least the Weavile helped in the fight.
Elder's Granddaughter:
Were you successful in finding snow-making
Pokemon?Why the hurry? It's not like we're on a tight schedule.Elder:
Ah! The snow-making Pokemon are with us!
Quick!
To the village square with them!
No, that is not a typo. She did say "Yea!"Girl:
Yea! Snow, snow, snow!
...I'm not even going to say anything.Little Boy:
Oh, wow, this is now?!
I've never seen anything like it!
It's cold and feels good!
If by that, you mean gets a blue tint and has snow falling that doesn't even stick...then yes. Yes I suppose it is a winter wonderland.Man:
It's the Snow Festival, is it?
I love how the village is transformed into
a winter wonderland!
Fwaah-choo!
Ghlalie and Froslass leave.
That just goes to show - if a pushy girl is demanding you do something, comply without complaints and she'll become nice and polite.Elder's Granddaughter:
Ranger, I'm sorry for being so pushy
about getting your help.
Thank you so much.
- Ice Defense
8 more stickers to go!
Part 108: Map Quest
I open here with a quest from Nage.
What else is new?Nage:
Vlad, you're the one person we can
ask with full confidence.
Let me explain.
We've teamed up with Isaac.
Hey, I haven't checked out there yet. I should go do that!Nage:
More precisely, we're conducting research
with his team at the reborn Altru Inc.
Again with the ecological climate change freaking jibbery-jabbery-joo.Nage:
The theme of our research is ecofriendly
power generation for the future.
Use Solar Energy! The sun never seems to go down here except for that one time, and that would work great!Nage:
We're considering the generation of power
from a huge variety of sources.
...well, there have been proposals in real life to use "natural gas" as a source of energy. Of course, the hoses would hurt to wear, but...Nage:
For example, energy from napping, smelling,
laughing, and from a full belly...
There's a huge difference between being thorough and wasting time with stupid ideas.Nage:
We're being thorough in our approach.
I need to catch a Raichu, Luxray, and Ampharos for them. Raichu's around Almia Castle - I can get that easily. Luxray's on the oil rig - I forgot where. And Ampharos is in Altru Tower - easy stuff.
But what if I get confused and mistake Luxray for Luxio? That acronym stinks!Nage:
That's Raichu, Luxray, and Ampharos.
Remember it as Rai-Lux-Amp!
I get Luxray first. Then get Raichu. And I finally fly to the Tower to get Ampharos. Oddly, I get dropped off near the top of it - just before the inner tower. Ampharos comes easily enough, but some annoying Gabites get in the way. I then leave, and on the way out, find out what happened to Blake.
JR: "BAW GAWD KANG BLAKE HALL JUST HIT THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW!"Guide:
The man on the far right is now somewhere
far away, wrestling with his guilt.
King: "OH MY GOD!"
JR: "PEOPLE'S ELBOW! PEOPLE'S ELBOW!"
JR: "HE KILLED HIM! WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS HE IS BROKEN IN HALF!"
The new president? The staff seems just as confused as I am. I thought it'd be Isaac - there's even a spot for a fourth portrait on the wall, but no avail. In addition...
The Shadow Crystal got a name change! And it's now a tourist attraction!Girl:
They say the Lumionous Crystal is displayed
at the top of the tower.
I bring the three Pokemon back. He leads them away, and I complete the quest!
- Electric Defense
Part 109: Seek the Treasure of Pirate's Cove
Murph has a quest for me. The "Fourth Murph Cup Ranger Contest", which, apparantly, only he cares about, but has had success over the years.
Hey, they used that colloqualism in game. Cool I guess? The winner gets a Trophy from Mr. Woodward, and a song sung to them. Huh?Murph:
You heard right, seven Eeveelutions
makes you the awesome superstar!
Well, I have Glaceon on-hand already. I guess that Leafeon will be in a similar area as it was in the game, so I check out Vien Forest. Those logs blocking the way south of the water path south of the Union are gone now, I found. Where does it lead? A small extra path that I can't land on yet has some Pokemon running around, and a waterfall I can go down. And, I, in fact, do find the Leafeon around there - near the Fisherman with the random. Excellent guess!
255. Leafeon
I got Flareon next. I got a Drifblim along the way so I could use it to help with Umbreon (so I didn't need to get one in the ruins, and it was on the way).
256. Altaria
Just as I was about to fly away from the ruins, I saw this. It has the most fucked up attack in the game - protecting itself with a shield of deadly paper planes!
I think there are two Eevees in the desert area - Espeon and Jolteon. I popped into the temple to get Espeon first - I'm getting better at dodging the cannons. I can get through only getting hit once now, and that hit is intentional to exploit invincibility time. After doing that, I flew to Altru Tower to get Vaporeon. It was in Almia Castle too, but I didn't want to bother going there.
My herd of retarded foxthings in tow, I walk all the way back to the Ranger Union.
They all walk over...and start singing for some reason. I win, get a golf clap, andMurph:
Woohoo!
You've brought quite the party!
Murph:
Let's start this with...
The awesome superstart trophy!
I had Mr. Woodward make it for me.Murph:
Next...drumroll, please...tah-dah!
I will sing for you, into your ear, my song,
"Awesome Superstar!"You are not an awesome superstar, then, cause you just said those words.Murph:
♪Say, what makes an awesome superstar?
Someone who never says, I surrender!
...did he try to rhyme "surrender" with "superstar" in the first line?Murph:
Is the awesome superstar someone cool?
Lalala♪, so cool you'll want to drool!
♪But awesome isn't everything, boo!
There's amazing kindness to go with, too!
After that line, Vlad gets a Gigaremo swirl over his head! God damn, if Team Dim Sun had an army of Murphs, they wouldn't even need the Incredible Machine!
There's MORE of that shit?Murph:
Huh? I can stop now?
I'm not even done with the first verse.
One...hundred...WHATTHEFUCKISTHISSHIT?Murph:
I mean, there are a 102 verses
in all.
Also, "a 102"? You don't want to confuse people into saying "a a hundred (and) two" or "a one hundred (and) two", Murph. Was it worth it?
- Time Assist
Oh yeah. This gives even more assist time.
I'll do another quest now.
And you want me to find it? Yeah yeah sure sure. It's the "white Pokemon of peace"...Girl:
A white-colored Pokemon flies around the
top of the Altru Tower sometimes.
257. Togekiss
It has the deadly paper plane attack that Altaria had, too. There's also a scene here.
There's an old blonde guy here as well with some Drowzee, aptly called "Drowsy Guy". Weird music plays when I speak with him.The Luminious Crystal brought the light
of peace to the Almia region.
It continues to shine with pure brilliance.
Drowsy Guy:
Zzzz... Zzzz... Zzzz...
...Ah, but I am not asleep.
They call me the Drowsy Guy.
And you?
You are you, if I'm not mistaken.Keep talking.Drowsy Guy:
For someone so special, I can let you
experience again a memorable capture.
...oh, this lets me fight Darkrai again? I think? Not really in the mood to check.Drowsy Guy:
I have to warn you, though.
If you were to be helped by your Friend
Pokemon there, they would be released.
- Poison Defense
Part 110: The Final Four (Minus Two)
There are only four more quests that I have to do before they're all completed!
I start with this one, a quest by Pamur. I'd like to reiterate that a father was named after his fat son. And yes, I did see him - five minutes ago.Pamur:
Hey, have you maybe seen my son Murph
anywhere?
Can you blame him? He's too busy goofing off...err...relaxing in Altru Park.Pamur:
You see, Murph came visiting for the
first time in a long while.
One thing to be aware of here - the dome hut has only one bed. This means that Pamur either slept on the floor for whatever reason or slept with his son. Not that way, of course...at least, I HOPE it wasn't that way.Pamur:
I put him up in my dome hut last night.
But I woke up to find his bed empty.
Err...okay.Pamur:
I thought he went out for a walk before
breakfast, but apparantly not.
Doesn't everyone here "visit" her, though. As good a place to start as any, though.Pamur:
About Murph, he went and visited with
Mrs. Winter yesterday.
Wee? Are you senile? The kid's the fattest guy in the whole game! To call him "wee" is just...wrong.Mrs. Winter:
Are you looking for wee Murph?
Yes, what a wonderful site for a picnic! A fucking ice castle. So many memories of picnics there...Mrs. Winter:
He said he was going for a picnic at the
icebound castle.
Somehow, the fat bastard made it ALL THE WAY TO THE BACK OF THE CASTLE where the Blue Gem was. That's right - despite not being a Ranger, he crossed the ice lake and he crossed it with ease, crossed through the cracked tiles, and avoided rabid Pokemon. All to have a picnic.
Murph:
Huh? Vlad?
What's up?
Yeah, about that, tubby...Murph:
What's that?
My pa is worried about me?
That's weird.
He should've known I'd be out.
I left him a note saying I'd be out and that
I wouldn't need breakfast.
...Murph:
...Wah!
The note was in my pocket!
Anyway, he travels back and I automatically follow. Why did he go? He wanted a new blue stone to fix his pendant, because the one he had's in my Styler.
Some "picnic" that turned out to be. Any particular reason that he decided to lie about what it was? Will I find out?Murph:
I wanted to find a new blue stone so I
could fix that pendant.
You know, because it was a gift from you,
Pa.
...nope.
Didn't you say it's cold even in the huts? Why the hell would I want to warm up by spending a night in a place that is cold? And has only one bed?Pamur:
Vlad, if you'd like, spend the night with us too.
You must be chilled to the bone after your
search for Murph.
- Steel Defense
I then get forced to stay there. Even dumber, I get out of the one bed in the morning. Ugh.
Three more. The next one is helping Big Bertha get Little Tim over his fear of Pokemon.
I'm kind of using it right now.Big Bertha:
Vlad, if you could lend me your ear
for a bit.
No. I do know how he's deathly a-scared or whatever of Pokemon, though.Big Bertha:
You know how my husband is deathly afraid
of Pokemon?
Big Bertha: "When he was six he was raped by a Gardevoir. He didn't know what happened to him. That's also why he married someone like me, I guess!"Big Bertha:
Well, I finally discovered how that sorry
state came to be.
Ahh, sleeptalking. One of the more annoying traits of sleeping, second only to snoring. You can sometimes hear people say funny or incriminating stuff when they're sleeping!Big Bertha:
Last night, I heard my man talking in his
sleep.
Hey. I got my toe crushed by a chair when I was little, and bled pretty badly, and I'm not afraid of chairs. I got my arm slammed in a sliding door on a car, breaking it, and I'm not afraid of sliding doors. I had a cat bite me, and I'm not afraid of cats. I tried to reconnect a cord that had come loose of the appiliance it belonged to while it was still on, and got blown back (or jumped back) by a HUGE spark, and I'm not scared of cords. My legs got fucked up when I was riding my bike and skinned them on rocks, and I'm scared of neither bikes nor rocks. All true stories, by the way. What the hell kind of pussy is Little Tim to be scared of all Pokemon over one little owwie from a fucking sloth?Big Bertha:
It turns out, when Little Tim was really
little, he got scratched by a Slakoth
while he was playing one day.
Uhh...what? Most plush dolls I know don't have bones. Or sharp nails. Or weigh 53 pounds. Couldn't he have noticed the bones at least when he started jumping on it? Why would he even jump up and down on its belly? Did he think it was a plush doll or a trampoline?Big Bertha:
He took that Slakoth to be a plush doll
and jumped up and down on its belly.
I don't know, Big Bertha. There seem to be a lot of people with a thirst for pain here. And some things, like Snorlax, wouldn't even feel it.Big Bertha:
Now you can say what you will about
Slakoth, but that would make anyone angry.
And yet, he is presumably plain old ordinary deathly a-scared of Vigoroth, something that is 400 times more likely to be out to randomly scratch him. And Slaking? Fuck, that bad boy's too big to be a Slakoth, so he doesn't worry about that.Big Bertha:
After the Slakoth swatted him one, Little
Tim's been skittish around Pokemon.
When he sees one, he can't help but think
it's out to scratch him.
For this kind of thing, it's true you do have to face your fears to overcome them, but don't you think it's best to start with a little therapy before that? You need to work out the person's emotional issues first. You can't just chuck the fear at him and go "here you go, have fun conquering your fear!" Least of all randomly.Big Bertha:
So, I reckon a little shock treatment
could be what the doctor ordered.
Can't I just get a Slaking and call it a Slakoth Jumbo?Big Bertha:
That's mighty big of you.
Remember, it has to be a Slakoth, though.
Other Pokemon won't do.
It's been a long time since I've caught one of those. It's back at the tree near Ranger School, if you've forgotten. I grabbed the nearby Tangrowth to Tackle the tree so I can get it. After a second level charge, I actually caught Tangrowth in one loop. I caught the Slakoth in one loop too - sans the charge. I bring it back...
That Slakoth? That same one, you mean?Big Bertha:
Oh, you've brought back that Slakoth!
Thank you, darling!
Big Bertha calls over Little Tim.
St-St-St-Stop St-St-St-St-StutteringLittle Tim:
Wh-Wh-What is it?
Dude, just because all it can say is its own name doesn't mean it can't understand an insult.Little Tim:
Th-That thing?!
Thank you, Little Tim.Little Tim:
It's a Slakoth!
Don't tempt me.Little Tim:
Aiyeeh! It's going to scratch me!
Most big pillows I know don't have bones, sharp nails, or weigh 53 pounds either.Big Bertha:
It's not going to scratch you!
Pretend it's a big pillow, and give it a big
hug. That'll work!
We've been over this before, man. Yeah, it looks and is nothing like a pillow, but insults of this nature are not going to help you!Little Tim:
That's the worst pillow I've ever seen!
I have heard of couples arguing over many things in their lives. But this? This has got to be the most retarded thing I have heard people arguing about, fictional or non-fictional. Picture this: you want to help your significant other get over their fear of something, say, spiders. You do so by showing them a spider and telling them to hold it. Do you really think that relationship's going to last? Do you really think that forcing them to overcome their fear is going to be beneficial to that relationship? I think not! I think they'll just yell at you and/or walk right out the door, just like that!Big Bertha:
Now don't you be that way!
Yeah, and let's continue with that anology. Say said significant other is afraid of spiders that are poisonous especially, and so you decide to show them a poisonous spider. They freak out, but don't walk out out on you. And you threaten: "if you don't hold this spider, I'll poison you myself". What you think is going to happen then? I'll tell you what's going to happen: they are going to leave you at best. At worst, they'll go to the authorities over your utterance of a threat, and you'll be sent to federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.Big Bertha:
It's perfectly okay, I tell you.
If you won't hurry, I'll scratch you myself!
Of course, getting back to the game, Big Bertha's nails are not nearly as sharp as a Slakoth's. Even if she tried, she could not inflict as much pain with her nails alone as a Slakoth could with its nails. So Little Tim's choice, at full pessimicy, is obvious.
Screw up? Farm hillbilly/redneck or not, what the hell? The expression "screw up" is typically attributed to doing something wrong. Not gathering something together. It's even worse when used in a situation like this one - where courage has been shot to shit.Big Bertha:
You just have to screw up a bit of your
courage here.
Does she really expect one hug will take away years of psychological torment?Big Bertha:
Believe me, you'll get over being a-scared
of Pokemon.
Personally, if we're going with this, I'd think he'd be better off if he was shown something more threatening than an "adorable" Slakoth first. Like, say, a Garchomp or Vigoroth that has an expression that just says, "I'm going to fuck you up." You don't want to implant the wrong ideas in his head. He might only come to trust cute Pokemon.Big Bertha:
You'll find them adorable, just you trust
me, darling!
"Mama"? MAMA??!??!?!?!?!?!!!!!??!!!????? ...well, they are rednecks.Little Tim:
Mama, you're scaring me more.
All the better to not see your demise.Little Tim:
All right, then.
I'm keeping my eyes closed, though.
Little Tim then walks over to the Slakoth, but since there's, as mentioned, no hugging animation for people, it faces southwest while he faces north, and their heads are about level, it looks closer to a kiss than anything else.
Except biting!Big Bertha:
See?
Nothing to be a-scared of, huh?
Wait, I've got it. We should've totally brought a Gardevoir instead. That would definitely be something to hug - it's under the classification "embrace" for christ's sake! Ween him into the idea that Pokemon are nothing to be scared of, little by little. Don't force it all on him at once. That never works!Little Tim:
It...
It's not all all right, but...
It's sort of fluffy.
Warm...
And, it's not scratching me.
Little peek where? I wish people in this game weren't so vague about what they're doing. For all we know, he could be taking a peek up its ass.Little Tim:
I'll just take me a little peek here...
It was still looking southwest as he said this, in case you were wondering.Little Tim:
Wah!
It's looking this way!
HE THINKS IT'S CUTE!Little Tim:
It... It...
Why, it's kind of cute!
HE KNOWS IT'S SEXY!
IT'S GOT THE LOOKS,
THAT DRIVES THE GIRLS WILD!
So how did she establish this, anyway? Most sleeptalkers don't give graphic, descriptive, narrations of their dreams when they do so. They may cry out or say things like, "no, no, stop!", but not narrate.Big Bertha:
Tim, you got your fear of Pokemon
when you were a tyke.
I wonder if she would say the same thing if he did it with a Snorlax. Those things hurt!Big Bertha:
That was when a Slakoth took a swipe at
you and gave you a scratch.
But you deserved it for jumping on its
belly and bouncing around.
So he did narrate everything?Big Bertha:
You said that talking in your sleep last
night.
Little Tim: "Hi, this is me, 6-year-old Tim, and I'm just a carefree little boy playing around. Right here we see me seeing a Slakoth, which I thought was a Slakoth plush doll. Getting excited here, and now I'm running over to it! Oh yes, I'm jumping up and down on it like it's a bouncy bouncy thing, and OUCH! It scratched me! Ow, ow, owwie! It hurts! Ouch, now this is where I became deathly a-scared of Pokemon!"
Or did he seriously say something else, reliving the moment more accurately? Does that mean he talked to himself about his actions as a child? Whaaaaa?!!
Repressed memories. Then again, hypnosis is sometimes used to make people recall things they have trouble recalling, such as with murder witnesses or UFO abductees. Recalling it during sleep is just taking it one step further.Little Tim:
I did that?!
I can't rightly recall something from that
long ago.
Good luck finding it! You'll need it! It's probably a Slaking by now!Little Tim:
Still, I reckon I surely owe that Slakoth
an apology.
One down, 492 to go.Big Bertha:
I figure Tim's gotten over some of his
fear of Pokemon from this.
What's it doing now?! Why does this game always have to be so vague all the time?!Little Tim:
Ahyahya!
That tickles, Slakoth!
- Ground Defense
Cool, I guess. Only two left!
Last edited by System Error; 19th November 2008 at 03:30 AM.
DiggDel.icio.usTechnoratiTwitter The 'mystery' issue of the Almia Times is number 13 in the book. If there's a fourteenth, it must be for filling the Browser or clearing the Capture Arena.
DiggDel.icio.usTechnoratiTwitter Probably. We shall see. Speaking of which, now that my internet's back...
Part 111: The Final Four (Minus Two)
Only two quests remain on the list!
I start with one from Ponte. He shows me his carving of a Pokemon...except not. The game never shows it. Some carving it is. Unless...it's invisible? Invisible wood?!?!! Whaaaaa?Ponte:
Check this out for a minute.
It's my carving of a Pokemon.
Apprentice under Mr. Woodward then! It'll be good for you.Ponte:
I think I've found my calling.
I really enjoy carving wood.
Which is...?Ponte:
Now, there's a certain Pokemon that I
definitely want to carve.
Wow. That's got to be only the fifth time someone has taken my off-hand advice.Ponte:
When I get done making that carving,
I have to show it to someone.
I'm going to ask him if he'd accept me as
an apprentice under him.
Yeah, except I don't know what it is...wait a minute, this means he did that other carving without ever using a model! What's going on here?!Ponte:
Vlad, this is a once-in-a-lifetime
request.
Will you please bring back the Pokemon
I'm envisioning as my model?
>>>>>>:::::::::------------((((((((((((((Ponte:
Really? You'll do it?
The Pokemon's name is...
I'm sorry, it's on the tip of my tongue...
Err...are you describing a Pokemon or a group of people?Ponte:
I can see it now: A big, proud, red nose.
And it has an impressive moustache.
Let me say that once more: is that a Pokemon or a group of people?Ponte:
Let me say that once more.
A big, proud, red nose.
And it has an impressive moustache.
DAMN IT! Now I have to go all the way back there!Ponte:
One lives in the Chroma Ruins, I've heard.
The Pokemon in question is Probopass. I bring it back, and he carves it in record time, and I also get warped to Mr. Woodward's house in record time. His opinion on it?
Uhh...aren't most rocks (Igneous at least) supposed to be rough and lumpy? And I'd imagine it'd have a few chips here and there. I'd say it fits pretty well!Mr. Woodward
This Probopass you've carved...
It's rough and lumpy.
The design is sloppy at best.
And there are many nicks and chips.
Not very committed, though, because he didn't spend much time making sure it was good.Mr. Woodward:
However...
Your spirit shines through.
I can sense your total commitment and
dedication to the craft.
He'll be fired within a week.Mr. Woodward:
There's no uncertainty to this, and that's
a good thing.
Ponte, tell me: I'm no easy taskmaster.
So, do you still want to be my apprentice?
In a week. Tops.Ponte:
Yes, please!
- Rock Defense
Last one! This one was in Pueltown, from Melody.
It's gotta be something, girl. You called!Melody:
Um...I...
It's nothing!
While we're on the subject of wishes, I would like to take the chance to point out how utterly retarded the rules of genies are. Among them, no wishing harm/death upon people, no wishing to make someone fall in love, and in some cases, no wishing for more wishes. But anything else? Fair game! So that means if you want to wish for omniscience, go right the fuck ahead! Wanna be all-knowing AND all-powerful? You can have that too, it's not against the rules, just wish for omnipotence! Hey, do you want to be immortal as well, and never age on top of it? Go straight ahead, not against the rules!Melody:
Well, actually...
I do have a wish!
Just a breeze?! Is this guy kidding me!? Wind power only generates a small amount of electricity as is! To even think that'd you'd get a lot from a breeze...the fuck?!Melody:
Isaac is working at Altru on
something new.
He said he's working on getting lots of
electricity from just a breeze.
Well when you're up all night searching for solutions that aren't there, then yes! Of course you're going to be up all night!Melody:
He's really, really busy.
He doesn't get to rest very much.
Personally, I think just a back massage would do fine. He's probably hunched over that table all day. Hearing one song by his sister one time won't help much.Melody:
That's why I wrote him a song!
It will help him relax.
Melody: "Okay, Pikachu, the first line is 'My brother's a great scientist"! Now you sing it!"Melody:
I'm thinking of getting some Pokemon to
perform it.
PikachuL "Pi Pikapi Pika Pi Pikachu!"
Melody: "No! That's wrong! We have to start over!"
Doesn't Melody know anything about musical...go-togetherness? Squawking, xylophones, wind chimes, and singing that puts you to sleep just don't sound good together!
I started off with Kricketune. Now you're probably asking yourself: "but System! Why didn't I start off with Chatot, since it's nearby?" Err...well you see, there's a perfectly logical explanation for that! And it's uhh...well I get the Kricktune, then fly to Shiver Camp to pick up Chingling and Jigglypuff.
258. Salamence
While I was getting Jigglypuff, I noticed this thing nearby. I don't know how it got here, nor do I know why something very, very, weak to the cold is in a cold cave. But know this - it was there.
Anyway, after I get back to a position where I can fly, I go back to Pueltown and pick up the Chatot I forgot I could've gotten. >_> But it was slightly faster, I think. Kind of. Not really. Speaking of which, it seems that getting Chingling, Jigglypuff, and THEN Kricketune would've been fastest, since they're all on relatively the same path. But we're in no hurry here.
I'm a friend of her brother's. How could she not know my name?Melody:
Oh, wow! You brought them!
Thank you, Ranger!
In a cutscene, I take them over to Altru, where Isaac and some scientists are working on...something, and still has relatively sinister music. They talk by having lines appear over their head.
Certainly not an orgy, that's for sure. That'd be freaky.Isaac:
Melody? And Vlad, too?
And all these Pokemon, too.
What's going on?
Melody suddenly mentions it's Isaac's birthday, a fact that I had no idea about. Seriously, is this game just randomly throwing dramatic points around at the last second in attempt to give things more impact? Because it's not working.Melody:
Isaac, it's for your birthday.
Melody: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! WHOOP-DEE-DOO! WHOOP-DEE-DOO! OPEN UP YOUR PRESENTS! OPEN UP YOUR PRESENTS! JUST FOR YOU! JUST FOR YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! WHOOP-DEE-DOO! WHOOP-DEE-DOO! OPEN UP YOUR PRESENTS! OPEN UP YOUR PRESENTS! JUST FOR YOU! JUST FOR YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! WHOOP-DEE-DOO! WHOOP-DEE-DOO! OPEN UP YOUR PRESENTS! OPEN UP YOUR PRESENTS! JUST FOR YOU! JUST FOR YOU..."Melody:
I wanted to give you a present: a song
I wrote for you!
How is that even possible,,,?Isaac:
Oh, right!
Today is my birthday!
I've been so busy, it slpiied my mind.
Scientist: "I'm sorry? We were too busy to listen."Isaac:
Well, everyone, you just heard what this
is about.
Isaac. Scientist. Big brother. Shift manager.Isaac:
Would you like to take a break?
Both of them are lit up and talking when this line is said, which makes it seem like both said it. Why they didn't just have separate lines for each one, I don't know.Researcher:
Of course! I concur.
Mini reci-Aww! Don't make me go out and find the Pokemon AGAIN! This is the whole thing, THE performance, whether you like it or not!Isaac:
My little sister has written me a song.
This would be a mini recital for it.
Clap-clap-clap-clap!Lulla...Jiggly...aw, shit.Melody:
Okay, is my quartet ready?
The name of my piece is, "My Brother
Isaac's Lullaby."
A song then plays, with the Pokemon spouting musical notes a lot. It ends rather abruptly though, and nobody falls asleep! Hooray!
Dreaming...OF HAVING SEX WITH HIS SISTER!Isaac:
Melody, thanks for that.
That performance really made me feel like
I was dreaming.
Well, it does hurt a little to type this at my laptop, with its busted screen hinge and its resting on a footrest and its screen against a blanket. And me on a couch and hunched over it. Mind you, I don't do that all the time - I have a desktop computer too! If I had my way, this laptop would still have its wireless networking working (it came loose or some shit and isn't easy to put back in), and I could just kick back and put it on top of me.Isaac:
Look, even Vlad is nodding off.
Isaac: "But he suffers from oversleeping."Melody:
That's good.
Melody: "That's bad."
Isaac: "But his dreams are strong and are therefore prone as an energy source!"
Melody: "That's good."
Isaac: "But we haven't perfected the machine to use it yet..."
Melody: "That's bad."
Isaac: "And he's dreaming about you."
Melody: "That's good."
Isaac: "He's dreaming I impregnated you by mistake."
Melody: "..."
Isaac: "That's bad.
Isaac is such a lucky son of a bitch. His little sister not only condones falling asleep, but also tries to HELP with it! Meanwhile, Vlad's tries to wake him up all the time, even if he's exhausted.Melody:
I wanted people to fall asleep.
Funnily enough, most researchers I know do know well enough to get enough sleep, but do remember this is the country that has no simple machines and forces psychological stress to overcome fear that we're talking about.Melody:
I mean, Isaac, you don't sleep enough
because of your work.
I automatically leave after that, and strangely, still have all the Pokemon used in the concert with me. Usually, you're supposed to let them go after using them! Don't give me anything about using them in events being an exception either - Glalie and Froslass in the "bring snow to Boyletown" quest were released proper.
- Long Line B
Finally, I get this thing! It's been a long time since I've seen one of these, and now, my capture line is even longer!
Strangely, the cutscene afterwards implies Melody was still in the room with Isaac when I left, but she seems to have pulled a disappearing act on me. And, we also never learn how old Isaac was. But if you asked, you would be told at least this much: it is on X Month, X Day.
Part 112: The Final Four (Plus One, Minus Four)
I checked my quest screen after this...and found one more quest waiting from me from "Ollie's Mom" in Chicole Village! Strangely, check out the text for it.
So this means his real name, may, in fact, not be Ollie. As for what it is, though...nobody's telling, or seems to care, for that matter. Wasn't it a derogatory psuedonym of what he smelled like used because we didn't know his real name to begin with? Why continue calling him that?There's something I want to say about my son,
whom you call Ollie.
Regardless, I go back anyway. By the way, Machop seems to have a unique partner animation too, like Mime Jr. One that isn't just standing idly and moving a little. It raises its arms in the air, flexing its muscles, and hops a little before stopping and repeating. Of course, whether it's more amusing to have a Pokemon that spins during dramatic scens, or one that flexes its muscles during the same is debatable.
Back to the quest...
Ollie's Mom: "His real name is Leslie, and I'd like you to know and call him by that!"Ollie's Mom:
Vlad, I was hoping you could help me
with something.
It's about my son.
About Ollie.
Well, yeah. If I got conned into doing work for evil people, accidently started a massive forest fire, then got caught and accused of being evil, got dragged to a strange place, then got tied up and yelled at by a big black guy, I'd be having nightmares too!Ollie's Mom:
He's still tormented by nightmares about
the fire.
He needs to hide his shame.Ollie's Mom:
He still feels shame and guilt over nearly
ruining the Vien Forest.
Well, as long as you keep him away from Big Bertha. She'd probably "accidentally" set the forest on fire herself and tell him there's nothing wrong with that, and everybody makes mistakes.Ollie's Mom:
I hear him talking about it in his sleep.
He talks about it in his sleep a lot.
Planting a tree?Ollie's Mom:
I think he means to do something about it.
Why doesn't she talk to him? She can give more sympathy than I ever could.Ollie's Mom:
He's been going out to the Vien Forest
often lately.
He tells me not to worry, but...
Please, could you chat with Ollie?
I think he needs a sympathetic ear.
I get to Vien Forest the fastest way I know how - by flying to the Ranger's Union and going downstream. By the way, you remember those Pokemon on the river screen south of the Ranger Union? The one that was blocked before but now it's not and it has some Pokemon in it? Well, I noticed something interesting about them. They're always stationary, because there's no walkable places for them to move on (despite them being on land that is normally walkable, but if they try to move (whether it's from you startling them from being too close or on their own, they spaz out a little from "running" into invisible barriers at countless times per second!
I find him in the burned out forest area.
Orders.Ollie:
Oh? What brings you here?
No! She said...well, you know what she said.Ollie:
Huh? Mom said that?
She said you said that, but...I didn't get the rest.Ollie:
I told her there's nothing to worry
about...
Become king of the disco?Ollie:
I've decided what I have to do.
Wow! Good luck with that. It'll take a few decades, but you can do it! At worst, you'll be like Brighton Hall, and not see your goal concluded until you're dead and gone.Ollie:
I'm going to restore the Vien Forest
to its original state.
The way he's saying it, Celebi is supposed to be top-secret information that not many people are supposed to know about. Which it kind of is.
Elaine. Mechanic. Dismantler. Dragonair lover. Knowledge bank of mythological Pokemon.Ollie:
Elaine told me about it.
Hah! Good luck with that, then!Ollie:
She said that a Celebi appears in the Vien
Forest, but only rarely.
We should totally bring one to Pueltown. Or Detroit. That'll show 'em!Ollie:
Celebi are supposed to have the fantastic
power of reviving natural environments.
Like I said, good fucking luck. You'll need it!Ollie:
After I heard that, I've been searching
for a Celebi here every day.
How did he not think to follow it? Where did it even go?Ollie:
I even saw one once, but only briefly.
I don't know where it could be now.
The conversation then ends. Uhh...okay? I talk to him again and get more information than was in the entirety of the last few statements.
Yes. Yes there is. Why do so little people know about it? I go there and find it, and it runs away. I follow it, and it keeps running, so I grab some Forretresses and Kricketune along the way for the inevitable fight. It's Sharpedo mk-iii! Except the time, I don't have things to make me faster! Well, I do have a Doduo, maybe. I grabbed the nearby one when I got fed up with the chase and used its speed and running on the inside of the "loop" to cut it off.Ollie:
From what I gather, a Celebi is supposedly
in the deepest part of the forest.
It lives by a waterfall there.
...But is there a waterfall in the forest?
259. Celebi
Strangely, it has no field move, which gives me hope yet for finding things like Yanmega? It has the second weirdest attack in the game (after the deadly paper plane barrier): it opens its mouth as if it were sick and about to barf, starts shaking, and a couple of energy balls fly WIDE around it as it continues shaking in place. It only took one round of Bug Assist to get it within capturing range.
Vlad poses after this, and I bring it back automatically.
Ollie, it's a Celebi, not a Jirachi.Ollie:
Oh! That Pokemon is a Celebi?
Oh, then please, Celebi, hear my wish!
Restore the forest to the way it was!
...he hops up and down, the Celebi sweats, and hides behind me.Ollie:
Thank you, Celebi!
Make my wish come true!
Other than it not having the right field move.Ollie:
What's wrong, Celebi?
Er, what?Ollie:
Please hurry! Show us your fantastic
power of healing!
He keeps moving towards it, and scares it off. No wonder he never saw one.
Hey, the way I see it, if this forest turned out like this, then it was meant to happen, so maybe that's why it's not restoring anything!Ollie:
Ce-Celebi?!
No thanks to you, douchebag.Ollie:
Celebi disappeared...
This wasn't supposed to happen...
It looked scared to me. Who confused anger with fright? Yeah, yeah, I know, I know: fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and so on and so forth. But you gotta start at step one! I won't be surprised if it turns Ollie into an old man or grows a begonia on his headOllie:
Did that Celebi get angry?
About what?
Maybe it's mad at me?
Say what?Ollie:
...
Maybe you, but not the forest, man. Think of all the bugs and grass types and animals that need this place!Ollie:
...Actually, this is just what I deserve.
Just like Cheney.Ollie:
I thoughtlessly accepted a shady job
for the money.
A job that I couldn't even do properly,
either.
Nah, you gotta Target Clear them first, but since it doesn't have that move....Ollie:
I didn't think things through this time,
either.
When I spotted Celebi, I got all happy
thinking all the problems were solved.
Ollie:
I've always been this way.
A shallow dreamer--that's me.I can't understand if he meant he might be doing more harm by accident just by being there, or if he has just turned evil.Ollie:
I think I finally understand now.
While I was scrabbling in search of Celebi,
I could have been doing even more harm.
Isn't it kind of hard to snap a tree branch? Even a really small one? If he's talking about twigs, those are already dead, so he doesn't have to worry about those. As for plants he could trample, there are indeed a lot of them that he could've! Like grass! Or...no, that's kind of it.Ollie:
Maybe I trampled plants or snapped
branches carelessly.
God, I hope the next Ranger game takes place in an urban environment, so there's no ecoterroristic-esque undertones. Actually, on second thought, there might end up being more.Ollie:
I didn't think about trying to protect the
forest, even in its sorry state.
I'm about to go away in disgust, too. Does this guy ever shut up?Ollie:
Well, Celebi may have gone away in disgust,
but I want to protect the forest. Really.
It's Celebi! It returns, throws around a bunch of those Zelda teleporters, and light goes everywhere, restoring the forest to its former glory! Now he has plants to trample!Ollie:
That's the least I could...?
Wh-What's happening?
The whole goddamned populace of Vientown comes.
Actually, it was more of a walk.Barlow:
Hey, we noticed the forest glowing, so we
came running.
And so, like some governmental conspiracy, all the harm is covered up!Barlow:
This is amazing.
The Vien Forest's completely restored!
It's as if the fire never happened.
Luana:
Yes, this is how it was!
This is how the Vien Forest used to be.How does she even know about using Celebi? Well...I know she told him, but how does she know what using a Celebi looks like? Does she have a history of burning stuff and having Celebi fix it?Elaine:
It's like a miracle.
Celebi, Ollie, and Vlad made it happen.
Crawford:
Yeah...
That's great, Ollie.
It's a great thing you did.
Sniffle...Big Bertha:
Even Crawford's plumb out of jokes.
I didn't think he'd cry.Rare ones, even????Little Tim:
Pokemon are going to return here.
I reckon a lot will come.
God, is it really necessary to have EVERYONE give their comments on this?Mr. Woodward:
The forest's rejoicing.
I can feel its gratitude.
Yes.Mimi's Dad:
We came running, bewildered.
Argh...will it ever stop?Mimi's Mom:
And we arrived to an inspiring scene.
I'd make a Sean Connery joke here, but I'm just too worn out to even think straight.Mimi:
Mimi says, "You are the man!"
Or maybe a song reference. Or maybe...oh! Good, it's over!Ollie:
I'm a bit young to be called a man, but
thank you, everyone!
I guess not. Hey, Hastings just came walking in from the south. He wasn't at the Ranger Base the last time I checked. When did he get there?Prof. Hastings:
Ah, Vlad!
Trust you to be in the middle of things!
Actually, I've bene doing them with pretty half-assed attitude, if you've been reading.Prof. Hastings:
I thank you for another Quest done to
your impeccable standards!
Anyway, some more shit happens that I'm too lazy to type out, but basically, Hastings was thirsty from all that running, and Big Bertha said all Milk Pudding is free to celebrate this occasion. Again, money exists, despite me never seeing it. Everyone but Hastings and I leave, ironically, the former being the most thirsty and being the likeliest to leave for free milk.
Yay! No Rhythmi this time!Prof. Hastings:
Ah, yes, mustn't forget!
I confirmed your Quest Clear.
Let me give you the Power-up data!
Throwing bulky things is a bad idea. Trust me on this one.Prof. Hastings:
This is something I've kept as special.
It's remarkably bulky! Catch!
All right, now that's more like it! This looks like some weird rainbow tire/eye and is twice as big as any other sticker. It reduces all damage by 1! ...that's not really helpful, is it? Most attacks don't do much damage now anyway. But hey, at least it looks cool!Obtained Supreme Defense
I leave the screen and come back to find...there's nothing new around here. Damn.
Part 113: Gotta Catch'em All, Motherfucker!
Checking my list on the Browser, I see I'm missing Pokemon R-139, R-175, R-259, and R-262. At least! My internet was kind of out while I wrote these last few parts, so I couldn't exactly check to see what I was missing, if I could even find such a site. So I was on my own here!
Narrowing down the list of where I had and had not searched, I determined the only places I haven't been searching for new Pokemon are Boyle Volcano, the Almia Building, and deep in the Hippowdon Temple. Or that capture place, wherever it is. I recall Barlow saying something abour having to ride a Pokemon to get there. I went to the Volcano first, naturally. Because I'm sick of the lattermost. The right entrance, first.
I find Internape there, which I already have. I also find that the Supreme Defense also reduces damage from area affects while bullion running through the flame jets. I think. If not, it's lying about that "all damage" part!
260. Charizard
And what do you know! There is something new here! I catch and and quickly use the warp to get out. Now for the left side...Magmortar is there with Burn 5. Nothing else that's special, here. I checked the hidden harbor, thinking that maybe, just maybe, the capture thing would be there. But no such luck.
Now, I went to the Temple. Because I felt like it! And...it turns out, the thing I said about Supreme Defense reducing damage from attacks out of battle? Not happening. I mean, it clearly says...
Now this leads to the inevitable question...HOW THE FUCK IS A FUCKING CANNON OF FUCKING SAND FUCKING FIRED AT YOU NOT A FUCKING ATTACK?!?!?!?! I mean, I can understand the technicallity behind something like a falling rock being a hazard, not an attack, but in that same sense, getting charged like so many Pokemon like to do does count as an attack and should have its damage reduced like one!Supreme Defense
Cuts damage from any kind of attack by 1.
Anyway, for my efforts, I find...nothing. I see Garchomp in the room just before the boss room, but that won't do me any good.
I check Chroma Highlands next. Nothing. Suddenly, I then remembered a few more places. I checked the old Cargo Ship - still crashed and enterable, save for the bottom floors for whatever reason.
261. Lickilicky
And surprisingly, there is one here! Also suprisingly, it had little HP, meaning maybe I was able to get this earlier? All the other "extras" have had a lot of HP.
As for the deck...well, I can't get out to it in the first place. Boo.The door wn't budges.
It appears to be broken.
One more! There's nothing in Marine Cave or Altru Tower, I find. I caught my 100th Staraptor on the way. Nothing in the Puel Sea, nothing in the Sea of Wailord...finally, all that was left was the Oil Field Hideout.
262. Porygon-Z
And lo, in the last place I look, I find the last Pokemon I need.
Part 114: Smashing Crystals
I suddenly remembered at this point: there's some crystals lying around that are waiting to be smashed! Well, one or two. I'm not sure about one, but I know about one: it's in that cave near the waterfall in Vien Forest, and it needs Crush 5. Using the Browser, I find what Pokemon has that...Garchomp. Where is it? Our favorite place, Hippowdon Temple!
*sigh*, so I go and fetch Garchomp. After doing that, I take the short walk to the warp to get out quickly, grab the Staraptor outside, and fly to the Ranger Union. I go all the way through the river through the grass to the cave, and use Crush on the statue.
Garchomp crushes things in the most fucked up way possible - by breathing blue flames on them. Regardless of how it does it though, the statue is destroyed and out pops...
263. Regirock
Wow. Wasn't expecting this. I used Ground Assist to keep it stunned while I did my thing. That only got it down to around half, though, so I charged up and circled until its no-attacking ran out, and finished it off with...more circling after getting hit once.
I remember another crystal being in Chroma Ruins, so I go check it out. And I remembered correctly - the only bad news is I need Cut 5 to get it. The proud holder of Cut 5 is Gallade, which I haven't found on my travels through the post-game yet, but the game shows me - it's in Altru. One of the lower floors to be exact - which is weird, because I never saw it up there when I was looking for the last Pokemon. I find it in the one room I forgot to check.
I take it back, down the tower, across the park, get a Staraptor and fly to Chroma Ruins. I then get another Staraptor and go all the way through the ruins again to find the statue again where I use Cut 5. When the statue is destroyed, it reveals...
264. Registeel
This thing is weird. Its main attack is raising its hands into the air and surrounding itself with electrified orbs. They crackle as they do so, but the sound stops when they go away. Even if it used the attack again while some were still around it! So in other words, it will have orbs around it, but no sound. That's pretty much all it uses. It used an attack where it threw some balls on the ground once, and only once. For a Steel-Type, you'd think it'd have more steel type attacks.
So these statues contain the Regis. Obviously, only Regice is left, and what better place to look for it than in the ice area? I mean, I only found Regirock in a random cave in a grass area, but a cave nonetheless, and Registeel in a crystal mine, which is like steel...except not. Aw, shit.
Wanna take a guess where I found it?
Well, it was in Altru Castle as I found out - the same room as the Mismagius. That's the good news. The bad news is - it needed Burn 5. So I had to go all the way back to Boyle Volcano to get the Magmortar there! Which meant I need to catch another Staraptor to get me there, another one to take me back, and yes! More Drifloons! I went all the way through the castle again. Finally, I get back to the ice statue, which actually visibly sublimes away.
265. Regice
Holy fuck, this was irritating. Even though I came in packing Registeel's assist, it was still irritating. It had an attack where it made two big blocks of ice appear in the middle of the screen. Even when I pulled out the assist right afterwards, it was still irritating! For a giant block of ice, it sure moves fast, breaking my line a lot. And I kept missing the energy balls too. It tried to use a stomping attack, but failed because of the status. I barely caught it before the assist ran out.
And that's it! ...oh god, I hope that's it. Please don't tell me I have to find the secret catching place now.
SHIT! Don't tell me there's more of those bastards out there to catch?Chairperson Erma:
You've been a great addition to the Union.
We appreciate having you, dear.
Part 115: Playa Hatin'
The only place I think I haven't checked for the Capture Arena is the desert harbor. Out of boredom, I decided to take Machop as a partner instead. But lo, there is no such boat there. Fucking shit. Is this just like a red herring or something?
It's then that I find it - at the other harbor, east of the town. The Wailord is there and "eager to carry [me] to the Capture Arena"
First impressions from the capture arena? It looks like a native island that was invaded by Rangers. There's another screen with a boardwalk leading up to it, and...the arena!
FUCKING FINALLY.Receptionist:
Welcome to the Capture Arena!
Yeah, Erma sucks.Receptionist:
This is your first visit?
I'll need to confirm your ticket then.
Cool! But...what is it?Receptionist:
...Perfect.
Thank you, Vlad.
You have been cleared for entry.
Uhh...advanced Rangers don't need training.Receptionist:
Since this is your first time, I should explain
what the Capture Arena is.
The Capture Arena is a training facility
for advanced Rangers.
Okay.Receptionist:
It's a place where even the elite can
hone their capture skills.
In the rooms behind me, a wide selection of
Pokemon awaits your arrival.
Your capture challenges are behind this
door.
Unlike you! Sha-ZAM!Receptionist:
The Pokemon you face will not be easy,
however.
Hey, don't tell me what to do "Receptionist". I saved the world by catching pure darkness itself. I think I can take care of myself.Receptionist:
As a result, we will put limits on which rooms
you may enter at first.
One room?! I'm a Rank 10 Ranger with a unique Styler! Why restrict the greatest Ranger ever?!Receptionist:
You will be allowed access only to one room
at first.
And here I was expecting like the capturing contest with Keith near the start, except doable anytime. But this...Receptionist:
By capturing the Pokemon in the back of
the room, the next room is opened.
Well, okay. This could be fun I guess...Receptionist:
Your objective is to capture all the
Pokemon in the arena's rooms.
Part 116: Journey to the Center of the Arena
The Capture Arena is laid out interestingly. There are five rooms, and there seem to be multiple floors too. Once you clear a floor, it seems you can go up to the next floor. Only one room is open at the moment as advertised. In the lobby, there's a save machine and another Robo-Recharger.
And there are bosses too!Ranger:
Once you've cleared a room, you can
challenge the room's boss anytime.
...okay.Ranger: (2)
If you lose all your Styler Energy, you
will only lose the chalenge.
You will be forced to leave the room and
return to the reception counter.
The rooms work like this: there's this door and an elevator. The door is locked, so I have to take the elevator down to a small room, and capture the Pokemon there. And I was expecting like a bunch of mini puzzles, not...this! The door unlocks, and I can go up and capture another one. Okay...at least that's what some guy said.
Room 1: Something?
1: Gardevoir
B: Toxicroak
There was a Gardevoir in the lower room. I caught it after some fuss with barriers and not stopping attacks. In the back was...Toxicroak! It was on a green monitor like the one in the Ranger Base at first, but then it changed to a grassy background like the one outside. The only Pokemon that I've had to reset against...could it do it again!? Well, no. But holy FUCK, did it have a lot more HP. Not to mention, it kept attacking.
Winning recharged my Styler opened a grand total of one door. Whopee. A linear endurance test. Except not really, because you can leave at any time as long as you're not in the middle of a room. So it's really just a matter of surviving a couple of fights with limited assists. But it's still linear. I'll admit - I was starting to like the concept going in, but then they turned it into monotony!
I again switched partners, this time, to Sneasel. It could come in handy against the far too many attacks I'm bound to encounter.
Room 2: They Still Don't Change Backdrops
1: Shiftry
B: Spiritomb
These rooms are so plain. They're just mechanical like rooms with different looking final rooms. This room opened with a Shiftry. It, like Toxicroak, was attacking too much, and I took a lot of damage. The boss was a Spiritomb, which I fought in its old arena. This was easier, thanks to having two Dark Assists, although I was slow starting off. It actually triggered my critical HP extra damage at the very end.
Room 3: An Extra Flavor of Monotony: Capsule les Deux
1: Crobat
2: Alakazam
B: Lucario
Did I mention how much I hate this? I was expecting like a mini-browser and mini puzzles. But these "you must fight it all" stuff...it's annoying! There is a little strategy in the order to use, of course, but that's it. I got Alakazam first, although I really had no choice as it warped onto me (and I didn't notice I could run), but it didn't matter, because I knew that Crobat was in the other room from looking. It was fast, but with Sneasel, I got rid of the annoying electric orbs it had thrown.
As for Crobat, I also used Sneasel, but had to charge it first. I was hit a lot after doing so though, by its toxic dust and Shade Man esque Noise Crush like attack (supersonic?). Mostly due to wanting to get it done quickly while I still had the assist and was able to get rid of the poison puddles. I still won with minimal damage.
The boss? Lucario. By the way, I might mention how there are no boss health meters here - they're just normal. The boss music still plays, though. I did a lovely job of managing to fuck this up - I used 'Zam first, which went well enough. Then I used Sneasel's assist (thinking I'd use it now and charge it again during Crobat's). Unfortunately, Flying Assist sucks shit, so I took A LOT of damage using it, eventually resorting to hiding in the corner and playing defensively. It also wrecked my momentum - I messed up while using Sneasel's assist pretty bad, and got reduced to the orange, no thanks to it using 10 damage attacks all the time. But I did it. With 16/97 HP left.
Part 117: Mono...DOH!
Continuing on our Arena quest...
Room 4: Two More Capsules
1: Gabite
2: Absol
B: Heatran
I started on the left with Gabite - which threw way too much mud, even with Dark Assist, it was still annoying because of its short-range attack which did way too much damage.. Absol was much easier, thank god.
Heatran was easy too, but it may have been from being cautious. When I noticed it was staying near the middle a lot, I used Gabite's assist to nail with with meteors. It still moved more than I liked it moving, but I got a nice amount of smacks in. I then switched to Sneasel's assist and got rid of some of the lava puddles (semi-permanent ones) that were lying around. Finally, I finished it off with some more Dark Assist from Absol and a few more loops. I leveled up after that. 99 HP. Yay?
Room 5: The Cream of the Crap
1: Bellossom
2: Infernape
3: Gengar
B: Cresselia
Now there are three capsules! I'm listing them from left to right, top to bottom. There's one in the middle and two in the back.
I started with Gengar here, since I had a charged Dark Assist ready to go! Made things really easy, but I still got hit once. I tried Bellossom next. It kept using its Leaf Shield, making it impossible to circle it. After about five minutes of this, I got fed up, left, and got Snover from the farm. I went to Altru Tower first to give it some power for its bar. Hey, that's what happens when you piss me off.
With Snover, I easily took down Bellossom. Maybe a little too easily? Ah, hell. I don't care. Gengar was harder, because it kept using its homing fires, but I beat it into the ground once my Assist was ready. As for Infernape...it was fast, but I kept up with it, and caught it with minimal damage.
As I thought it would be, Cresselia was the boss. Snover made it easy enough, but I still got hit a lot, thanks to those loose energy balls.
Part 118: Theme Week
With the first floor clear, I can now move onto the second floor! Which again, is monotonous and linear. I got Sneasel back for this.
Room 6: You Fly, You Die
1: Fearow
2: Swellow
3: Honchkrow
4: Drifblim
B: Yanmega and Gliscor
I should've mentioned this earlier, but all Pokemon here are much stronger and have more HP than normal. Not much to say about these guys - they were fast, and although the "chink" sound of the line breaking got annoying, especially against Swellow, I pulled through. I actually did pretty well for once.
Up here, boss battles have different music - Dim Sun's music. Despite the fact that there were two of them this was the easiest shit ever. Both of their attacks have plenty of warning before them, so the only issue is making sure your line doesn't break...they stayed together fairly often, which helped, and when they didn't, I usually had enough room to circle one.
Room 7: Slowness (Or, the One Room with an Actual Theme So Far Excluding the Last One)
1: Kangaskhan
2: Aggron
3: Tyranitar
4: Abomasnow
B: Tangrowth, Mamoswine, and Rhyperior
Been a long time since I fought a Kangaskhan. I noticed when it uses Hyper Beam, its only attack, the child gets out of the pouch and hangs onto its leg as it shakes! More importantly, though, it only attacks from five places (the four corners and the middle), making catching it easy. But not before taking some damage. I also might mention how its sad that the one Pokemon that deserves a baby form over all else will never get one. *sigh*
Aggron and Abomasnow had laughably slow attacks, so catching them was a breeze (just took a little attention). The former always roars before it attacks, and the latter always shakes. As for Tyranitar, it was a little harder, but it's attacks still had a fair amount of warning.
But the bosses...god damn. There's three of the bastards! This was a very weird fight. I haven't seen anything like it so far. They all started off very slowly, using only a few very predictable attacks with lots of start-up time (Tangrowth used a powder move, Mamoswine a stomping move, and Rhyperior a straight-forward fissue or a jabbing move, I believe), like the rest of this room. I went after Tangrowth first - circling it tightly when possible, and circling everything when not. Once I caught it, this somehow "angered" the other two. Rhyperior used a 4-way fissue move, and Mamoswine wouldn't stop blowing icy breath. Rhyperior had the least health left, so I focused on it next. Once I did that, Mamoswine's attack pattern changed again, and it started summoning ice blocks. And it was much faster now (at least three times as fast as in the beginning)! At this point, I just said "screw it" and used Abomasnow's assist, putting a stop to it.
Room 8: Room Eight, Eight Pokemon, Eight Forms
1: Jolteon
2: Espeon
3: Eevee
4: Vaporeon
5: Flareon
B: Umbreon, Glaceon, Leafeon
Eeveelution room, baby! There are now five rooms: four on each corner and one in the middle. Eevee was easy. Jolteon is an example of how just two attacks can be annoying: it throws electric orbs, then has a habit of running toward them and using its electric bursts attack. Oh, that's easy enough to dodge - you can, should, and will circle once or twice between everyone one, building up a fun rhythm, but when it's near the orbs, you can't exactly do that.
Espeon was also hard, but then I noticed it had a specific attack pattern - throw some electric orbs, surround itself with a shield of WIDE circling purple orb, use a purple orb helix cannon, repeat. Once I got that down, I took to charging up during the helix cannon, using charged circles until just after it uses the electric orbs, doing uncharged loops until then, and throwing in some while it's running around with its shield.
The other two in the room were easy. Flareon had a wave of fire attack and flamethrower, but I just charged during the Flamethrower and circled it like mad after that. I got a little overzealous and got hit by the next fire wave, but I repeated the same strategy and won. Vaporeon was much the same with charging during attacks. Surprisingly, I was able to avoid the puddles thrown out for once.
The last three Eeveelutions awaited me at the end. This was EXTREMELY annoying, as they left no room to circle things individually. I tried to get Umbreon first, but failed. When I started circling them all at once, things got better. I didn't see if they had an "anger" pattern like the last set of bosses I fought - because I caught them at relatively the same time. It's probably the case, though, as Glaceon kept using ice breath, Umbreon kept summoning dark circles on the ground, and Leafeon threw leaves, but it may have had another move. I also used Flareon's assist. Glaceon fell first, followed by Umbreon a second later, and Leafeon a few more seconds later.
Room 9: Be Afraid
1: Ariados
2: Cacturne
3: Banette
4: Houndoom
5: Garchomp
B: Four Weaviles and a Drapion
Is this supposed to be a horror themed room or something? That's all I can think of - but Garchomp seems strangely out of place here (even though a land shark with a bunch of blades is pretty fucking scary).
I tried to get Ariados the old fashioned way, but it kept using spider web, so I used Sneasel in response. I used its assist on Cacturne. I also leveled up again here. You get 1000 EXP or more a capture here - not bad. My HP finally hit triple digits. It's kind of weird, though - the numbers seem kind of condensed. Banette was an asshole. It kept protecting itself with its barrier, but thankfully not as much as Bellossom. It took a lucky string of attacks, Charge, and low HP desperation to take the bastard down.
Houndoom was easier, thank god. I intentionally took damage here to get the desperation attack down. Garchomp's attacks were easy to avoid.
The boss sounds more like a parody of a movie than a boss, but that's what there were. This, as expected, was the most annoying shit ever. I don't know how the fuck I managed to avoid getting hit so many times. I started with Dragon Assist (Garchomp), and managed to get some damage in. Then it was just me for the rest on out. It took a lot of circling - which having yellow HP helped with - but I finally got it down to just Drapion and one Weavile. At this point, hazards were being thrown as per the anger theory, so I started using Dark Assist to help. It didn't do much in the way of damage (in fact, I think it HINDERED it), but it helped overall in the grand scheme of things. When it was just Drapion and me, it suddenly became much easier. Having its allies missing didn't do anything to its speed, and it was a little hesitant about attacking, so I just slapped on Dark Assist to get rid of any poison puddles and let it have it.
Last edited by System Error; 20th November 2008 at 12:08 AM.
DiggDel.icio.usTechnoratiTwitter If you've found the Regis.... take them to Hippowdon Temple and explore. Trust me.
Make sure you have them with you... and make sure you have some other Pokémon, for their Assists. You'll need them.
Last edited by Nando; 19th November 2008 at 10:10 PM.
DiggDel.icio.usTechnoratiTwitter I had the game for two days now
I can't believe Rank 4 = Top Ranger. They could have atleast given me a rank up before the promotion :/
My favorite line is still Kincaid revealing his identity.
Simplified version: "I'm not really Mr. Kincaid, I'm Mr. Kincaid!"
also he did it wrong. He's supposed to pull off his clothes and reveal a Dim Sun uniform, not put them on. Doesn't he know anything about secret identities?
Also I want mah Mime Jr.!!
...well, anything I say about this would be wasted breath. Just read the updates.If you've found the Regis.... take them to Hippowdon Temple and explore. Trust me.
Make sure you have them with you... and make sure you have some other Pokémon, for their Assists. You'll need them.
Part 119: El Finalé
You know what? I take back what I said about this being lame. That last floor was actually pretty interesting. It's still not as good as what it could've been, though. I guess I should just be thankful I've not had to copy any lines out for a few hours.
Floor 3 has only two rooms, compared against the four of floor 2 and five of floor 1.
Wait, shit, I guess I spoke too soon.
Okay...I guess I'll see what that means when I get in there.Staff:
On this floor, all the rooms are undivided.
There are no elevators to a lower floor.
Uhh...I don't really get how having undivided rooms means I can't befriend captured Pokemon. It's like saying you can't put butter on your toast because there's room for four pieces bread.Staff:
Do you understand what this means?
You can't befriend captured Pokemon!
Well...Sneasel's been excellent to me so far as a utility Pokemon, but that's it. But god damn, is it ever an it to be.Staff:
On this floor, the bond between the
Ranger and the Partner is tested!
Room 10: And Who Said Self-Masochism Never Paid Off?
Okay, what the idiot outside meant is that this room is really just a series of boss battles, one after the other. The boss music here is also different - I believe it's the Gem Guardian theme.
B: Electivire and Magmortar
The first two quickly got on my bad side with their constant, long, attacking. In fact, I got so annoyed, I took to damaging myself intentionally to get into the yellow zone, so that I could boost my damage! That way, they wouldn't be able to heal as much! Well...they could still heal, but I'd be doing more, and so they would still heal, but I could add on damage faster than if I didn't have it!
And...what the fuck? That's it!? You are shitting me.
I might take the time to mention something really annoying about this game's ranking system. I haven't mentioned it until now, so here it is - when you catch a Pokemon, you get a letter grade of S, A, B, or C depending on how well you did. Doing things like having a good Pokemon Assist used, quickly capturing, or doing a lot of loops, will get you bonus experience. However, the problem comes in between fighting singular and grouped enemies (which can only be done in events). In singular battles, if you don't catch the Pokemon using only one line, you are NOT earning your S. If you get hit once, no S. This doesn't sound too bad, but keep in mind some Pokemon have a lot of HP, and are virtually impossible to catch without either using multiple lines or an assist. And with the exception of Ground Assist (which doesn't affect flying Pokemon), no assists that can stop it from attacking work with just one line! You either need to do retardedly fancy linework and get lucky as all hell, or use ground assist and pray. But in a group battle - here, for example, you can get hit countless times and use a lot of line, and you may still get an S! As I did here.
Room 11: The End of the Beginning
Seriously, I don't get why he'd think the rooms are supposedly undivided. They're just boss rooms!
B: Torterra, Infernape, Empoleon
For what looks to be the last room, this room was fairly disappointing. I again tried to single a Pokemon out which has worked once in the past (against Tangrowth) - this time with the huge Torterra. It was annoying, but I eventually got it. And without damaging myself either (well, on purpose...). Surprisingly, once it went down, the other two suddenly started cooperating with me and went down without too much of a further hitch. I caught them roughly close to the same time.
But...that's not all! An elevator drops down, leading to even more floors! Well, okay. It seems like there's only one left.
Room 12: Top of the Mornin' to You!
This "room", which is actually a small forest on the roof, has three Pokemon waiting.
B: Charizard, Flygon, Salamence
Hey, aren't those the ones on Ranger 1's box? I had to reset a couple times here - I tried to go with the self damaging strategy again, and it backfired when I tried to go in the orange and I found it doesn't stack. But that still doesn't change the fact that it is a very helpful one - it boosts the attack by nearly 50%! And with Flygon being obnoxiously fast...actually, it's something I haven't fought before! I finally got sick of it's shit the second time I tried, though, came in with Snover, and shoved so much snow up its ass it wasn't funny.
Okay, third time's the charm. I came in with Snover ready to assist. I started off by using it and tossing one Flygon's away. I had many misfires during this - I sometimes threw it off somewhere random by mistake, and I sometimes missed or hit another one of the Pokemon. But regardless of that, I first I focused on Salamence. It just seemed like the easiest target - while Flygon had its air blades and Charizard used Fire Blast, this only used Dragonbreath or something. It did a lot of damage, but for some reason, didn't use it often. I also accidently got down into critical, which only made getting it faster. I actually got enough circling done during this timeframe to start using Snover again right away or almost right away every time - maybe circling a Pokemon is what raises a bar, and when you circle multiple ones like I sometimes did, it goes up fast?
After that, Flygon was still weakened from the snow bath I had given it, so I finished it off. It gained a new attack - smashing the ground and making a shockwave, but failed to use it successfully. Finally, it was down to just Charizard. Despite it being not very effective, I still kept up Ice Assist, and actually managed to regain it during this looping anyway! After I started, I just kept beating on it with snow periodically while circling. It never got another attack in.
266. Flygon
So yeah. I guess I got them all, now! Maybe. And awesome, sparkly bar saying "Arena Clear!" shows up as I finsh, accompanied by an awesome fanfare and victory music. So besides Flygon's entry, what do I get from this?
Well, a scene. Lots of people are gathered around.Sven:
I heard a hotshot'd cleared the arena.
So, I came flying to find...
Vlad to be that hotshot!
...have I?Sven:
That satisfied look that says you've done
it all...
Cool I guess.Sven:
That's some kind of cool.
Well maybe, but don't you guys think you're overstating my goal?Keith:
This is an incredible thing!
Vlad, do you understand that?
YOU'RE TRYING TO PLAY BOTH SHIDES!Keith:
As your friend, let me say this:
congratulations!
But as your rival...
You just wait! I'll catch and surpass you!
No thanks to you, grandma vague-a-lot.Chairperson Erma:
I was always convinced you would
see everything through to the end.
So...do I get anything?Chairperson Erma:
After all, that's the way you've always
been, dear.
I sincerely congratulate you.
Anything at all? Not just a bunch of "congratulations"?Receptionists:
Congratulations!
Good luck. There haven't been any missions in weeks. I'd invite him along if there was one, but the game wouldn't let me.Ranger: (1)
I've got a new target in life!
One of these days, I'm going to clear a
Mission with you, Vlad!
Well, kind of hard to forget, since I'm famous and all...but do I get ANYTHING from this?Ranger: (2)
You're the famous Vlad?
I'll never forget your name, ever!
Well, no.
Part 120: We Were Born to Feel Pain
While I'm looking at Flygon's entry, I find that I apparantly could've gotten it in the desert earlier. Oh well. At least this way, it seems more worth it. I return to the Ranger Union to see if I finally caught them all. As soon as I get in...
FATTYMurph:
Hey! Vlad!
Well, why didn't you say so! He takes me to the third floor...Murph:
We'd like to get your expert opinion.
Come with me, please!
Which maze? There are a number of them in the temple, you know!Rhythmi:
Oh, hi!
You came at the right time!
We just received reports from people in
Hippowdon Temple.
They say a whirlpool of sand suddenly
appeared inside its maze.
Whaaaaa? How can a whirlpool even do that?Linda:
It's too bad, but we don't have a clear
picture of the situation.
Still, everyone reporting claims that the
whirlpool seems to be calling someone.
Then who?Marcus:
Calling for someone?
Me?
Nah, can't be.
Well, Murph, someone exploring Hippowdon Temple could get shot by a sand cannon, rammed by a Golem, or fall into a 50 foot pit, but clearing those out doesn't seem to be too high a priority on the Ranger Union's list. God, this job feels more like being a missionary than law enforcement at times.Murph:
It could be really dangerous.
Someone exploring Hippowdon Temple could
be pulled under.
About a legendary Hippowdon?Chairperson Erma:
...Come to think of it, I've heard a legend
concerning Hippowdon Temple.
WHATISTHATPOKEMONGODDAMNITWHYTHEFUCKAREYOUALWAYSSOVAGUEYOUFUCKINGOLDWHOREChairperson Erma:
"That Pokemon awaits the chosen one.
Oh, so you don't know? You're still a bitch.Chairperson Erma:
"To the great Pokemon, deliver three
Pokemon.
"Then the path shall be revealed."
...I believe that's how it went.
What would the great Pokemon be?
No, Rhythmi. Not only did we not learn about it in school, but that Pokemon could be anything. It could be Lugia or Ho-Oh or even Arceus.
I hate you all.
I hate you so much.Chairperson Erma:
Now, you should understand that this isn't
a Mission.
Let's see now...Chairperson Erma:
But I definitely want you to try,
Vlad.
Meeting a legendary Pokemon could be an
event that comes only once in centuries.
- Darkrai
- Regirock
- Registeel
- Arcanine, technically
- Regice
- Celebi
- Heatran
- Cresselia
Eight in one lifetime and in a short period of time at that? Not exactly "once in centuries" material, don't you think? I think Erma has gone fucking senile.
Anyway, I go all the way through the temple...again...and I find the whirlpool in the sliding arrow room.
Wonderous voice? It is Arceus! I knew it!A wondrous voice resonated within
Vlad's heart.
Uhh...Arceus? Why are you talking like you're reading from a diary?"Three Pokemon I seek.
Gather them here...
"Then the path shall open."
I find three pedastrals here.
...oh, fuck.A body of stones and rocks.
This Pokemon repairs itself with stones
if its body breaks.
My Arcanine with Flare Blitz disagrees! And those yellow dots on it are made of ice too!? Yellow ice?!!?!? Well, yeah, there's THAT, but...oh god, what if its eyes really are...?A body made entirely of ice.
Yet, this Pokemon defies even the power
of fire.
Uhh, so if it's made of metal, it has to have a body sturdier than any other metal, which is impossible, because its body is made of metal which counts as metal and cannot be excluded from "any metal".A body made entirely of metal.
This Pokemon's body is more sturdy than
any metal.
...
...
...
SHIT!
Part 121: This Game Sucks and is Now About Trains
Well, since I don't have the Regis anymore, (I used Regirock and Registeel while getting Regice), I have to go get them again! And as a final "fuck you", the game dumps me back at the entrance to the temple when I take the whirlpool in this room. Meaning I have to go through it again! Twice! Once for Garchomp so I can get Regirock again, and again for Regigigas!
First though, I go get Machop back. These fuckers are going down. I go get Garchomp from the temple, yes, going all the way back through the sand cannon room, the disappearing tile room (which I'm getting damn good at, if I might add), and the sliding arrow room, using Regice in a state of disgrunted rage. Hey, if I'm getting two again, why not get the other again? I get the Pokemon needed to get them first.
Then I got to Regirock's pad and found that I only needed to do smash the crystals once.
...
...
...
...
I think I spun faster than I ever had before in the battle that followed. I ANNIHILATED that fucking rock.
Regice fared slightly better - I used Fire Assist from Magmortar on it, to good effect, despite what that statue claimed. It had a weird move where it hopped up and cried, doing nothing seemingly. Weird that such a late game Pokemon would have a fake attack (but it DOES have a version of that where a shockwave is made, doing quite a bit of damage).
I also defeated Registeel in a similar rage-o-holic fit. It tried the electric ball barrier a lot, but I countered that by...well, I didn't, I just said "bring it" and circled wide. Hey, it paid off, though! Until it stopped using it and just started throwing balls out. I still got it, though.
WILL THIS BE THE LAST TIME I GO THROUGH THIS TEMPLE? Knowing this game, probably not, but whatever.
For possibly the final time, I go through all the rooms of this godforsaken temple!
Except Dialga! Or Palkia! And Shaymin, too.The final Pokemon that should be etched
in the memory of the chosen one...
The last great Pokemon lies asleep.
This inscription is on the floor of that room. I place the Regis on the pedestals...
This game needs to shut the fuck up with it's text-based descriptions of things once and for all. Motionless? The fucking thing is swinging its arms as if it were in an 80s music video! The other two don't fare much better. But regardless, with that, the door glows green and opens.The Regice rest motionless on the
pedestal.
Well, all right then! The Regis run off after this.A wondrous voice resonated within
Vlad's heart.
"The seal is undone.
Enter, chosen one."
And in the room...is Regigigas! Damn! Amusingly, before the battle, it shows off by flexing its muscles and doing punches, which is made all the better by Machop's presence and it flexing its own muscles.
It's a boss fight! A boss bar! A boss intro! And intense, unique music!
I failed the first time. Motherfucker makes shockwaves with every step that do way too much damage. The second time, I just opened the door, then got some moderate artillery. I also saved near the Gem room instead of just past the cannon room.
267. Regigigas
Oh my god, I have never seen so much shit fall in my life. I tried something different here, and mained Dragon Assist. It worked suprisingly well, as it did in my first attempt. Two Gabites and a Garchomp were what I had - I could've gotten more, but I decided against it because I just wanted to get this shit over with. I usually tried to trick it into walking into a meteor, which was suprisingly easy, but still tough. Most of it consists of making an educated guess of where it's going to walk (basically anywhere a few feet in front of it), and charging the meteor there, bailing out of it before reaching full size if necessary. I also tried to hit it when it stopped to attack. It's attacks include stomping and making fissures, stomping and making fissures AND dropping rocks from the ceiling, making rocks randomly fall (at around 1/2 health I think), and Hyper Beam. I used Bug Assist (Ariados) after the first Dragon Assist, and nearly died. But then I recharged with a Magneton and continued with the Dragon Assists. Just as time for the last one ran out, I delivered the final hit, bringing it within capturing range.
Then I got hit and died.
Just kidding. I captured it.
HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER.
Regigigas just stand there after the fight. Then it talks to me again.The Browser is completed!
I hear most voices in my head.A wondrous voice resonated within
Vlad's heart.
The way it's talking, it seems like it's a high and mighty god who loves to fight."Kudos to you, human.
Your next challenge, I await."
Suddenly, voicemail.
Hey, I'm the first to save the world from an evil dark entity and complete the Arena too, and you don't hear me bragging.Prof. Hastings:
You've finally done it, Vlad!
You're the first to achieve this!
Okay, thanks.Prof. Hastings:
You've now captured every Pokemon that
lives in the Almia region!
Yeah, like "this Pokemon has this field move"! And "this Pokemon uses this attack!" And...well, you get the idea.Prof. Hastings:
Now, about your browser, it would be
chock full of invaluable data.
Fuck you.Prof. Hastings:
For our research purposes, I definitely
would like to get my hands...
Who the fuck is Misery?Prof. Hastings:
Wha-What are you doing, Misery?!
Prof. Hastings:
Can't you see I'm not done talki...Oh, right! He calls her that because he's an old idiot. I've never been happier to see...well, hear her in a long time. And now, for another 500,000 congratulatory messages!Rhythmi:
Vlad!
It's me, Rhythmi, not Misery!
No. Fuck you, fuck the Union, fuck your congratulations, fuck your couch, and fuck every last one of you vague and long-winded motherfuckers.Rhythmi:
Congratulations on completing your
Browser!
Come back to the Union right away!
We're all waiting for you!
NO NO YOU SACK OF SHIT GAME STOP DON'T FADE ME BACK THERE FUCK I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND FUCKING PEOPLE FUCKING SAYING "CONGRATULATIONS" THIS AND "CONGRATULATIONS" THAT AND ALL SORTS OF OTHER FUCKING SHIT LIKE "I FUCKING ENVY YOU", "YOU ARE SO FUCKING AWESOME/COOL/GREAT/AMAZING", "I FUCKING KNEW YOU FUCKING COULD DO IT" AND "FUCK MAN YOU ARE THE FUCKING MAN" THAT I FUCKING HAVE TO FUCKING COPY TO MAKE THIS FUCKING COMPLETE; FUCK THAT, FUCK YOU, FUCKING FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCKER FUCK YOU FUCK THIS FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCKCOCK FUCKBALLOON FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Part 122: Fuck Everything (Can You Spot the Irony, Kids?)
Oh yeah, how could I forget these gems?
- FUCK YEAH I KNEW YOU COULD FUCKING DO IT!
- FUCK YEAH SCIENCE!
- YOU ARE A FUCKING ICON TO US ALL, FUCK YEAH MAN
- EVERY FUCKING POKEMON FUCK YES
- YOU FUCKING ROCK
- I KNEW YOU'D EVENTUALLY FUCKING DO THIS SOMEDAY!
- FUCK YEAH YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME
But in all honesty, I do think there are too many congratulatory segments.
Part 123: Конец
Okay, how about this, then?
All this for a stupid sticker?Chairperson Erma:
...And now, we must give you recognition
for completing your Browser.
A special mark will be etched into your Styler
to denote your achievement.
For the time being, dear, you will be the
only one to possess it.
Chairperson Erma:
Your Styler, please.Epilogue:A mark certifying a completed Browser
was etched into the Styler!
Vlad retires from Rangering, much against the protests of everyone at the Union, and founds his own Russian themed resturaunt chain in Pueltown, with delicacies such as roast Pidgey, boiled Cloyster, and fresh vegetables, as grown in the Motherland.
After getting run out the newspaper business by The Almia Times, Crawford moves to Fiore to do stand-up comedy. He is booed off the stage for joking about the wrong things, and lives the rest of his life in infamy and misery.Crawford:
Congratulations!
I'll write about it for the Vien Tribune!
Luana attempts to capture all the Pokemon in Almia as well, in attempt to impress Vlad. However, after being rejected by Regigigas for not being the "chosen one", she gives up there and lives a life of loneliness.Luana:
That's so awesome!
I've only captured...
I'm not saying.
After word of what happened in Almia hits international waters, Barlow is rounded up for his race and forced to labor in a camp in an unknown location. Attempts to do the same to Brock of Pewter City are still in process.Barlow:
I knew that you'd do this one day!
...Actually, I didn't expect this.
So, yeah, I sure am surprised.
Congrats!
Murph dies of a heart attack after eating too much of Big Bertha's milk pudding in one sitting. Ranger authorities blame Team Dim Sun, as usual, despite the fact they broke up a long time ago.Murph:
This makes me happy as if it happened to
me!
...Can I claim it happened to me?
Word of Vlad's achievements do indeed get heard around the world, catching the attention of Samuel Oak, who promptly moves to Almia, beats up Prof. Hastings, and forces them to adopt his numerical standard of Pokemon numbering, that favors Kanto 1994 above all else.Prof. Hastings:
Hmm! Congratulations!
This news will surely be heard around the
world.
Chairperson Erma goes on to retire to the old folks home in Almia. When told there were no old folks homes in Almia, she ordered some built as a Mission for all Rangers, tearing down other buildings in the process as so to be environmentally friendly and not use any trees.Chairperson Erma:
Congratulations, dear.
Your accomplishment gives proof of your
communication with countless Pokemon.
It's something you can take pride in.
Sven catches a highly virulent STD from a woman he seduced and was castrated to protect the innocent.Sven:
You're something else!
Congratulations!
Wendy eventually marries her Staraptor, proving Vlad's theory that "[her] guy" had another meaning to it. An off-hand suggestion that there was no way People/Pokemon intermarriage would be legalized was taken as an excellent idea, and it happened, much to his annoyance.Wendy:
Vlad teacher!
Please, make me your student!
...I'm being silly!
But congratulations, sincerely!
Isaac marries his sister and takes over Altru Inc. as the new president, and drives the company bankrupt from ridiculous experiments within a year, particularly one that led to the deaths of millions of sea anemone.Isaac:
I rushed over from Altru!
It's fantastic news!
Congratulations!
Rhythmi develops massive hemmroids and back cramps from sitting on her Operator's chair for most of the day. Staring at a monitor all the time has also forced her into wearing glasses.Rhythmi:
Vlad, I've contacted your family.
They were delighted to hear the news.
This is their message: "Congratulations!"
And, from me, too!
Congratulations!
Keith attempts to ask Vlad out, and gets accepted, having a whirlwind romance, only to find out it was all a dream concieved by a yaoi-obsessed fangirl from the real world. He continues to drop subtle hints of his sexuality, much against Vlad's seeing it for what it is and outright calling and rejecting it.Keith:
To be honest, I am kind of annoyed that you
beat me to it, but...
It feels great knowing that I've got a
great rival in you.
Vlad!
Congratulations on filling the Browser!
And that's all she wrote. Special Missions coming tommorow
Last edited by System Error; 21st November 2008 at 05:12 AM.
DiggDel.icio.usTechnoratiTwitter Huh. Cool! Congratulation on finishing game and giving us perfect (and funny) information on it!
Anyway, I don't get what was the reason to rename Wyatt Blake while he was 14 O_o. Sounds like just a pathetic device to make Wyatt's "change" more distinct, like he was a different person. Stupid, really.
Anyway, I bet 5 smackers that his real name in the Japanese version was "White Hole".
Last edited by Maxim Posthumus; 20th November 2008 at 09:12 AM.
DiggDel.icio.usTechnoratiTwitter I was just trying to give you a tip I wasn't sure you had, so I don't know why you're angry. I read all your updates and the only thing I can figure out is that Regigigas required the Capture Arena to be cleared, whereas I only thought it required the collection of the Regis and completion of all the Quests....well, anything I say about this would be wasted breath. Just read the updates.
Part 119: El Finalé
You know what? I take back what I said about this being lame. That last floor was actually pretty interesting. It's still not as good as what it could've been, though. I guess I should just be thankful I've not had to copy any lines out for a few hours.
Floor 3 has only two rooms, compared against the four of floor 2 and five of floor 1.
Wait, shit, I guess I spoke too soon.
Okay...I guess I'll see what that means when I get in there.
Uhh...I don't really get how having undivided rooms means I can't befriend captured Pokemon. It's like saying you can't put butter on your toast because there's room for four pieces bread.
Well...Sneasel's been excellent to me so far as a utility Pokemon, but that's it. But god damn, is it ever an it to be.
[u]Room 10: And Who Said Self-Masochism Never Paid Off?
Okay, what the idiot outside meant is that this room is really just a series of boss battles, one after the other. The boss music here is also different - I believe it's the Gem Guardian theme.
B: Electivire and Magmortar
The first two quickly got on my bad side with their constant, long, attacking. In fact, I got so annoyed, I took to damaging myself intentionally to get into the yellow zone, so that I could boost my damage! That way, they wouldn't be able to heal as much! Well...they could still heal, but I'd be doing more, and so they would still heal, but I could add on damage faster than if I didn't have it!
And...what the fuck? That's it!? You are shitting me.
I might take the time to mention something really annoying about this game's ranking system. I haven't mentioned it until now, so here it is - when you catch a Pokemon, you get a letter grade of S, A, B, or C depending on how well you did. Doing things like having a good Pokemon Assist used, quickly capturing, or doing a lot of loops, will get you bonus experience. However, the problem comes in between fighting singular and grouped enemies (which can only be done in events). In singular battles, if you don't catch the Pokemon using only one line, you are NOT earning your S. If you get hit once, no S. This doesn't sound too bad, but keep in mind some Pokemon have a lot of HP, and are virtually impossible to catch without either using multiple lines or an assist. And with the exception of Ground Assist (which doesn't affect flying Pokemon), no assists that can stop it from attacking work with just one line! You either need to do retardedly fancy linework and get lucky as all hell, or use ground assist and pray. But in a group battle - here, for example, you can get hit countless times and use a lot of line, and you may still get an S! As I did here.
Room 11: The End of the Beginning
Seriously, I don't get why he'd think the rooms are supposedly undivided. They're just boss rooms!
B: Torterra, Infernape, Empoleon
For what looks to be the last room, this room was fairly disappointing. I again tried to single a Pokemon out which has worked once in the past (against Tangrowth) - this time with the huge Torterra. It was annoying, but I eventually got it. And without damaging myself either (well, on purpose...). Surprisingly, once it went down, the other two suddenly started cooperating with me and went down without too much of a further hitch. I caught them roughly close to the same time.
But...that's not all! An elevator drops down, leading to even more floors! Well, okay. It seems like there's only one left.
Room 12: Top of the Mornin' to You!
This "room", which is actually a small forest on the roof, has three Pokemon waiting.
B: Charizard, Flygon, Salamence
Hey, aren't those the ones on Ranger 1's box? I had to reset a couple times here - I tried to go with the self damaging strategy again, and it backfired when I tried to go in the orange and I found it doesn't stack. But that still doesn't change the fact that it is a very helpful one - it boosts the attack by nearly 50%! And with Flygon being obnoxiously fast...actually, it's something I haven't fought before! I finally got sick of it's shit the second time I tried, though, came in with Snover, and shoved so much snow up its ass it wasn't funny.
Okay, third time's the charm. I came in with Snover ready to assist. I started off by using it and tossing one Flygon's away. I had many misfires during this - I sometimes threw it off somewhere random by mistake, and I sometimes missed or hit another one of the Pokemon. But regardless of that, I first I focused on Salamence. It just seemed like the easiest target - while Flygon had its air blades and Charizard used Fire Blast, this only used Dragonbreath or something. It did a lot of damage, but for some reason, didn't use it often. I also accidently got down into critical, which only made getting it faster. I actually got enough circling done during this timeframe to start using Snover again right away or almost right away every time - maybe circling a Pokemon is what raises a bar, and when you circle multiple ones like I sometimes did, it goes up fast?
After that, Flygon was still weakened from the snow bath I had given it, so I finished it off. It gained a new attack - smashing the ground and making a shockwave, but failed to use it successfully. Finally, it was down to just Charizard. Despite it being not very effective, I still kept up Ice Assist, and actually managed to regain it during this looping anyway! After I started, I just kept beating on it with snow periodically while circling. It never got another attack in.
266. Flygon
So yeah. I guess I got them all, now! Maybe. And awesome, sparkly bar saying "Arena Clear!" shows up as I finsh, accompanied by an awesome fanfare and victory music. So besides Flygon's entry, what do I get from this?
Well, a scene. Lots of people are gathered around.
...have I?
Cool I guess.
Well maybe, but don't you guys think you're overstating my goal?
YOU'RE TRYING TO PLAY BOTH SHIDES!
No thanks to you, grandma vague-a-lot.
So...do I get anything?
Anything at all? Not just a bunch of "congratulations"?
Good luck. There haven't been any missions in weeks. I'd invite him along if there was one, but the game wouldn't let me.
Well, kind of hard to forget, since I'm famous and all...but do I get ANYTHING from this?
Well, no.
Part 120: We Were Born to Feel Pain
While I'm looking at Flygon's entry, I find that I apparantly could've gotten it in the desert earlier. Oh well. At least this way, it seems more worth it. I return to the Ranger Union to see if I finally caught them all. As soon as I get in...
FATTY
Well, why didn't you say so! He takes me to the third floor...
Which maze? There are a number of them in the temple, you know!
Whaaaaa? How can a whirlpool even do that?
Then who?
Well, Murph, someone exploring Hippowdon Temple could get shot by a sand cannon, rammed by a Golem, or fall into a 50 foot pit, but clearing those out doesn't seem to be too high a priority on the Ranger Union's list. God, this job feels more like being a missionary than law enforcement at times.
About a legendary Hippowdon?
WHATISTHATPOKEMONGODDAMNITWHYTHEFUCKAREYOUALWAYSSOVAGUEYOUFUCKINGOLDWHORE
Oh, so you don't know? You're still a bitch.
No, Rhythmi. Not only did we not learn about it in school, but that Pokemon could be anything. It could be Lugia or Ho-Oh or even Arceus.
I hate you all.
I hate you so much.
Let's see now...
- Darkrai
- Regirock
- Registeel
- Arcanine, technically
- Regice
- Celebi
- Heatran
- Cresselia
Eight in one lifetime and in a short period of time at that? Not exactly "once in centuries" material, don't you think? I think Erma has gone fucking senile.
Anyway, I go all the way through the temple...again...and I find the whirlpool in the sliding arrow room.
Wonderous voice? It is Arceus! I knew it!
Uhh...Arceus? Why are you talking like you're reading from a diary?
I find three pedastrals here.
...oh, fuck.
My Arcanine with Flare Blitz disagrees! And those yellow dots on it are made of ice too!? Yellow ice?!!?!? Well, yeah, there's THAT, but...oh god, what if its eyes really are...?
Uhh, so if it's made of metal, it has to have a body sturdier than any other metal, which is impossible, because its body is made of metal which counts as metal and cannot be excluded from "any metal".
...
...
...
SHIT!
Part 121: This Game Sucks and is Now About Trains
Well, since I don't have the Regis anymore, (I used Regirock and Registeel while getting Regice), I have to go get them again! And as a final "fuck you", the game dumps me back at the entrance to the temple when I take the whirlpool in this room. Meaning I have to go through it again! Twice! Once for Garchomp so I can get Regirock again, and again for Regigigas!
First though, I go get Machop back. These fuckers are going down. I go get Garchomp from the temple, yes, going all the way back through the sand cannon room, the disappearing tile room (which I'm getting damn good at, if I might add), and the sliding arrow room, using Regice in a state of disgrunted rage. Hey, if I'm getting two again, why not get the other again? I get the Pokemon needed to get them first.
Then I got to Regirock's pad and found that I only needed to do smash the crystals once.
...
...
...
...
I think I spun faster than I ever had before in the battle that followed. I ANNIHILATED that fucking rock.
Regice fared slightly better - I used Fire Assist from Magmortar on it, to good effect, despite what that statue claimed. It had a weird move where it hopped up and cried, doing nothing seemingly. Weird that such a late game Pokemon would have a fake attack (but it DOES have a version of that where a shockwave is made, doing quite a bit of damage).
I also defeated Registeel in a similar rage-o-holic fit. It tried the electric ball barrier a lot, but I countered that by...well, I didn't, I just said "bring it" and circled wide. Hey, it paid off, though! Until it stopped using it and just started throwing balls out. I still got it, though.
WILL THIS BE THE LAST TIME I GO THROUGH THIS TEMPLE? Knowing this game, probably not, but whatever.
For possibly the final time, I go through all the rooms of this godforsaken temple!
Except Dialga! Or Palkia! And Shaymin, too.
This inscription is on the floor of that room. I place the Regis on the pedestals...
This game needs to shut the fuck up with it's text-based descriptions of things once and for all. Motionless? The fucking thing is swinging its arms as if it were in an 80s music video! The other two don't fare much better. But regardless, with that, the door glows green and opens.
Well, all right then! The Regis run off after this.
And in the room...is Regigigas! Damn! Amusingly, before the battle, it shows off by flexing its muscles and doing punches, which is made all the better by Machop's presence and it flexing its own muscles.
It's a boss fight! A boss bar! A boss intro! And intense, unique music!
I failed the first time. Motherfucker makes shockwaves with every step that do way too much damage. The second time, I just opened the door, then got some moderate artillery. I also saved near the Gem room instead of just past the cannon room.
267. Regigigas
Oh my god, I have never seen so much shit fall in my life. I tried something different here, and mained Dragon Assist. It worked suprisingly well, as it did in my first attempt. Two Gabites and a Garchomp were what I had - I could've gotten more, but I decided against it because I just wanted to get this shit over with. I usually tried to trick it into walking into a meteor, which was suprisingly easy, but still tough. Most of it consists of making an educated guess of where it's going to walk (basically anywhere a few feet in front of it), and charging the meteor there, bailing out of it before reaching full size if necessary. I also tried to hit it when it stopped to attack. It's attacks include stomping and making fissures, stomping and making fissures AND dropping rocks from the ceiling, making rocks randomly fall (at around 1/2 health I think), and Hyper Beam. I used Bug Assist (Ariados) after the first Dragon Assist, and nearly died. But then I recharged with a Magneton and continued with the Dragon Assists. Just as time for the last one ran out, I delivered the final hit, bringing it within capturing range.
Then I got hit and died.
Just kidding. I captured it.
HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER.
Regigigas just stand there after the fight. Then it talks to me again.
I hear most voices in my head.
The way it's talking, it seems like it's a high and mighty god who loves to fight.
Suddenly, voicemail.
Hey, I'm the first to save the world from an evil dark entity and complete the Arena too, and you don't hear me bragging.
Okay, thanks.
Yeah, like "this Pokemon has this field move"! And "this Pokemon uses this attack!" And...well, you get the idea.
Fuck you.
Who the fuck is Misery?
Oh, right! He calls her that because he's an old idiot. I've never been happier to see...well, hear her in a long time. And now, for another 500,000 congratulatory messages!
No. Fuck you, fuck the Union, fuck your congratulations, fuck your couch, and fuck every last one of you vague and long-winded motherfuckers.
NO NO YOU SACK OF SHIT GAME STOP DON'T FADE ME BACK THERE FUCK I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND FUCKING PEOPLE FUCKING SAYING "CONGRATULATIONS" THIS AND "CONGRATULATIONS" THAT AND ALL SORTS OF OTHER FUCKING SHIT LIKE "I FUCKING ENVY YOU", "YOU ARE SO FUCKING AWESOME/COOL/GREAT/AMAZING", "I FUCKING KNEW YOU FUCKING COULD DO IT" AND "FUCK MAN YOU ARE THE FUCKING MAN" THAT I FUCKING HAVE TO FUCKING COPY TO MAKE THIS FUCKING COMPLETE; FUCK THAT, FUCK YOU, FUCKING FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCKER FUCK YOU FUCK THIS FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCKCOCK FUCKBALLOON FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Part 122: Fuck Everything (Can You Spot the Irony, Kids?)
Oh yeah, how could I forget these gems?
- FUCK YEAH I KNEW YOU COULD FUCKING DO IT!
- FUCK YEAH SCIENCE!
- YOU ARE A FUCKING ICON TO US ALL, FUCK YEAH MAN
- EVERY FUCKING POKEMON FUCK YES
- YOU FUCKING ROCK
- I KNEW YOU'D EVENTUALLY FUCKING DO THIS SOMEDAY!
- FUCK YEAH YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME
But in all honesty, I do think there are too many congratulatory segments.
Part 123: Конец
Okay, how about this, then?
All this for a stupid sticker?
Epilogue:
Vlad retires from Rangering, much against the protests of everyone at the Union, and founds his own Russian themed resturaunt chain in Pueltown, with delicacies such as roast Pidgey, boiled Cloyster, and fresh vegetables, as grown in the Motherland.
After getting run out the newspaper business by The Almia Times, Crawford moves to Fiore to do stand-up comedy. He is booed off the stage for joking about the wrong things, and lives the rest of his life in infamy and misery.
Luana attempts to capture all the Pokemon in Almia as well, in attempt to impress Vlad. However, after being rejected by Regigigas for not being the "chosen one", she gives up there and lives a life of loneliness.
After word of what happened in Almia hits international waters, Barlow is rounded up for his race and forced to labor in a camp in an unknown location. Attempts to do the same to Brock of Pewter City are still in process.
Murph dies of a heart attack after eating too much of Big Bertha's milk pudding in one sitting. Ranger authorities blame Team Dim Sun, as usual, despite the fact they broke up a long time ago.
Word of Vlad's achievements do indeed get heard around the world, catching the attention of Samuel Oak, who promptly moves to Almia, beats up Prof. Hastings, and forces them to adopt his numerical standard of Pokemon numbering, that favors Kanto 1994 above all else.
Chairperson Erma goes on to retire to the old folks home in Almia. When told there were no old folks homes in Almia, she ordered some built as a Mission for all Rangers, tearing down other buildings in the process as so to be environmentally friendly and not use any trees.
Sven catches a highly virulent STD from a woman he seduced and was castrated to protect the innocent.
Wendy eventually marries her Staraptor, proving Vlad's theory that "[her] guy" had another meaning to it. An off-hand suggestion that there was no way People/Pokemon intermarriage would be legalized was taken as an excellent idea, and it happened, much to his annoyance.
Isaac marries his sister and takes over Altru Inc. as the new president, and drives the company bankrupt from ridiculous experiments within a year, particularly one that led to the deaths of millions of sea anemone.
Rhythmi develops massive hemmroids and back cramps from sitting on her Operator's chair for most of the day. Staring at a monitor all the time has also forced her into wearing glasses.
Keith attempts to ask Vlad out, and gets accepted, having a whirlwind romance, only to find out it was all a dream concieved by a yaoi-obsessed fangirl from the real world. He continues to drop subtle hints of his sexuality, much against Vlad's seeing it for what it is and outright calling and rejecting it.
And that's all she wrote. Special Missions coming tommorow
DiggDel.icio.usTechnoratiTwitter Oh, I'm not mad at you. I just kind of wished I read your tip first. (Editing your post doesn't automatically refresh the thread for new posts, which I only did after typing up the final updates). >_> EDIT: Actually, it wouldn't have made much of a difference, as I used Regirock and Registeel before the post was even made; all it would've saved is a trip to figure out I needed them. I was just annoyed at what I had to do. And having to sit through another congratulatory segment, which I managed to make work to be enjoyable for me (but I will admit I wasn't expecting as many "congatulations" as I got, even with that part). Plus, I like to exaggerate. It's not like I was literally screaming at the top of my lungs and smashing things over it.I was just trying to give you a tip I wasn't sure you had, so I don't know why you're angry. I read all your updates and the only thing I can figure out is that Regigigas required the Capture Arena to be cleared, whereas I only thought it required the collection of the Regis and completion of all the Quests.
And Regigigas doesn't require Capture Arena completion, because like I said, Flygon can be caught in the Haruba Desert (which I wasn't aware of). But you do need all the quests - it's the only way to get Celebi.
Ranger Net is next.
Part 124: RangerNet.net
First, let's look at the Ranger Net menu. It sort of looks like a digital monitor, only a turquoise blue instead of the usual green. You can seek out new missions, play a mission, or mess with the wireless network settings. My memory is foggy, but it seems that mine was already set up (using the same as DP? Or is it just a DS-wide setting that can only be changed in-game to my knowledge?). Oh well.
You can download missions and when you do, you get a picture of the player character running across the screen while downloading. Why this doesn't happen on other screens, I have no idea.
There are only two missions available right now, and lord knows when the other four will be available. So let's start in with the main selling point - the Manaphy egg mission.
Strangely, the prompt before the mission is in the same style of a Quest, rather than a Mission. This one is from Barlow, and it's in Vientown.
All right, I guess? The mission opens with you walking into the Ranger Base. By the way, you can't save.
Did your daddy touch you in an...uncomfortable place?Luana:
Mimi, what's wrong?
Why are you looking so so?
Mimi: "It's all glowy and white. Mimi scared!"Mimi:
One of Mimi's Happiny is being strange.
Chansey? Have I even found one? New Browser Pokemon? XFD suck it Regigigas.Mimi:
We went out for a walk, and we met a
Chansey.
Mimi and the Happiny were very happy to
meet it.
The round what? Round egg? Round Stone? Round orb? I'm not kidding - the line really does cut off right there.Mimi:
But then one Happiny threw away the round
Well, it's continued in the next line, but it's still awkward.Mimi:
stone it always holds.
Apparantly, the world of Almia isn't familar with a Happiny's evolution process. And fuck man, that's a stone in Happiny's pouch!? I always thought it was an egg! Inside a bigger egg.Mimi:
After that, it would look for other round
things, but throw them away, too.
Yep, getting angry will do that to a Pokemon.Mimi:
Mimi got angry with it, then that Happiny
ran away outside...
^ That is a worrywartLuana:
That is worrying.
It's. Trying. To. Evolve.Luana:
I wonder what's wrong with your Happiny.
Nobody has even acknowledged Vlad yet.Luana:
Leader, if I may, I'd like to help Mimi search
for the missing Happiny.
I've heard of people dying of a broken heart (not having the motivation to live anymore), but isn't four a little young to be calling that? Hell, she has like five of them. Losing one isn't going to bring about the apocalypse.Barlow:
Yeah, you do that.
I'm worried about both the Happiny and
little Mimi.
...hopefully.
I don't take no orders from you no more. But, I do it nonetheless. Not even give a choice.Barlow:
Oh, hey, Vlad, you're visiting?
I'm sorry. I didn't notice you.
Listen, can I get you to help search for
Mimi's missing Happiny?
Listen, Crawford. I'm no Pokemon researcher, but even I can make an educated guess as to what happened. The Happiny saw the Chansey. It was so happy to see it that it wanted to evolve, and therefore went out looking for the Round Stone evolution item. Of course, there's always the problem of leveling up first, but I'm sure it'd find a way!Crawford:
It's really strange, though, what that
Happiny did.
Well, duh. It's pouch is only so big. It can only hold one object in it!Crawford:
It threw away the round stone the Happiny
always carry around?
Yeah, cause they're not what they're looking for.Elaine:
So, the missing Happiny would go look for
round things, then throw them out again?
And yet you've heard of a mytholigical time traveling Pokemon and even know how to recognize it from afar when it's doing its stuff. Yeah. Cool.Elaine:
I've never heard of them playing that way.
Isn't that like, the Area Ranger's jobs? And speaking of which, why is there only one Ranger Base? There are those Ranger Depots all around - why not convert a few of them into bases?Barlow:
You should do a round of the town as a
patrol while you're at it.
As soon as I leave, some cupcake somes rolling in front of the Base. I shit you not.
Well, a berry, but it looks like a cupcake. With green frosting. Out of curiosity, I checked to see what berry it might possibly be. But I found none that look like it. It almost looks like a Babiri Berry, but with a brown bottom half.Little Tim:
Hahaha! Ayup, I finally found it!
I finally found a berry I've been searching
low and high for.
Babiri Berries are 10.4 inches. Which...actually kind of fits, if we take scale and Japan's tendancy to make characters really short into consideration.Little Tim:
Well, howdy there, Ranger!
See this here giant berry?
I got it from the Jam-maker.
Guess who was there?Little Tim:
I'd left it out in our yard, but it went and
disappeared on me.
Me neither! It just came rolling in from the left from seemingly nowhere! Didn't they think not to look who threw it?
Mr. Little Tim.Mimi:
Mimi's Happiny must have done that!
It's because this berry is so round.
Mimi's sorry, Mr. Little Tim.
Well, except for the part where she always speaks in the third person. Makes her seem like the forbidden love child between her mother and Mr. T.Little Tim:
Huh? What's this now?
I don't rightly know what you're apologizing
over, but that's quite all right, Mimi.
I have to say, you're turning into a proper
young lady.
That's a good thing!
Then Tim just takes the berry and walks off.
As I'm walking around the back of the Base...another berry comes rolling in from the right! Well, actually, it looks more like an ordinary apple than anything else. The Happiny goes by, some conversation happens, and I follow it.
Huh. Well, fine.Mimi:
Mimi's Happiny didn't come home...
Yet another Berry rolls in between the farm and Mr. Woodward's. It kind of looked like an Iapapa Berry.
I don't think so. Whatever it was, it wasn't very round. Now it's just getting desparate.Mimi:
Another really, really round thing!
Happiny, where are you?!
Then it goes running to the left.Luana:
Happiny, wait!
What's wrong with berry pudding? I know it's not as good as vanilla or butterscotch, but it's certainly better than milk pudding, which I assume (hope) is just a fancy term for yogurt.Bill:
Bewwy poodin, I not want.
Bitter? We've established that said berry is more than likely a Babiry Berry. Those are mostly spicy, not bitter! The next closest that is bitter would be Durin Berry, even though it looked nothing like that at all. Maybe Aguav Berry, but even that's a bit of a strech (it had a clearly brown top, not a green one, no yellow parts, and a much bigger, brown, base).Little Tim:
I've been thinking a whole lot about making
a berry pudding out of that berry I got.
It'll be bitter through and through.
Wimp. Little Tim should totally make her drink some to have her overcome her fear of bitter drink. Probably doesn't even drink coffee.Big Bertha:
Well, I'd sooner have a plain old milk pudding.
A bitter pudding?
Not for me, thanks!
Still looks pretty missing to me. What's with this game and invisible objects?Andy:
It wasn't just my dad's berry.
My ball went missing, too.
I only found it just now.
But milk isn't sweet. It's...it's...uhh...fuck, I can't describe the taste of it but it is definitely not sweet! If the milk pudding is sweet, well...did the writers have a fear of the word "yogurt" or something? It's not like it's trademarked, you know.Cindy:
I think a pudding should be sweet.
That's the only way it should be.
No kidding. Nothing is closed to being round here. Save maybe the mallet heads or his head. Or his other head. And where's Ponte!?Mr. Woodward:
A Happiny poked its head in my door just
a little while ago.
It seemed to be looking for something, but
it left right away.
I follow it in circles around near its house, and find yet ANOTHER Greek berry. Now this one sort of looks Durin Berry-ish, except with a flat, white bottom. Vlad automatically snatches them up before I can get a good look at them.
Mimi:
Happiny...What I don't get is why they don't try to cut it off. There's three of them, four if you count Machop, and five if you count...shit, what was Luana's partner? Oh well, it's probably in nowheresville.Luana:
Mimi, we can do this.
We'll keep running after your Happiny!
That thing isn't even running very fast! If they didn't sit there running their mouths after finding something wrong, they could easily catch up to it.
In front of Woodward's, approached from the right, is yet another berry scene. For once, it's clear what it is: a Wiki Berry. Or maybe a Bluk Berry. Or is it a Belue Berry? ...shit, let's just say it looks like a purple radish with stripes.
Mimi:
The Nabiki Beach way?RUN! RUN! IT'S NOT EVEN THAT FAR AWAY! Strangely, the one Bidoof near the beach's entrance seems to have abandoned ship. It's not here.Luana:
It sounds like it!
A little? It's here right now, man!Beach Boy:
A Happiny came running down to the beach
a little earlier.
And you didn't think to call for help or intervene?Beach Boy:
It's been staring at a round thing that's
floating at the water's edge.
Uhh, Beach Girl? Beach balls are rainbow, usually opaque, and very ugly. How could you even confuse the two?Beach Girl:
Something washed up at surf's edge,
I think.
It's blue, clear, and very pretty.
Could it be a beach ball?
And there it is! The egg! Oh, and Happiny, but who cares about that?
Then it grabs the egg and runs. Last time I checked, eggs aren't very round. They're...well, egg-shaped.Mimi:
Happiny!
Let's go home!
It hates you.Mimi:
Oh, wait!
Why are you running away?!
Score! Now I can finally get one with a good nature!Luana:
That round thing...
I remember what it is now!
That's a Manaphy Egg!
Without anything trying to attack/eat it? I don't think so!Luana:
It must have drifted all the way here from
a faraway sea.
Or it was looking for A FUCKING ROUND/OVAL STONE TO FUCKING EVOLVE GOD DAMN.Luana:
I remember reading about it in the School's
Library.
That Happiny must have been looking for
that Egg this whole time!
God, even he's taking her side? Since when do Happinys do that, anyway!?Barlow:
Luana, you're dead on with that analysis!
And Beach Boy/Beach Girl didn't? They need to do their civic duty!Barlow:
We just got word from Prof. Hastings.
He wants us to protect the Egg.
Apparantly, a boat spotted the Egg off
the coast and reported it.
As long as there are no snipers.Barlow:
So, this is an emergency Mission for the
two of you.
Recover and protect the Manaphy Egg!
-Special Mission-
Recover the Manaphy Egg!
Haven't heard this theme in a while.
Not all right!Barlow:
Vlad, Luana, be sensitive to Mimi and
her Happiny's feelings, all right?
I follow the Happiny to the path, catching some Buneary on the way out of boredom, in one circle no less. When I get to Breeze Hill...
Blocked the pa-HOW DID IT EVEN MOVE THOSE ROCKS?!??!?! MUCH LESS WITH THOSE SHORT, STUBBY ARMS??!?!?!??!?!!!Mimi:
Mimi's Happiny blocked the path, and then
it went up...
...all right, I'm sorry, but I had to look into this. Let's assume a Pokemon's attack stat is proportional to its strength. So Happiny has 5 attack. Let's also assume that to move something with ease, they need more attack.Mimi:
Happiny are a lot stronger than they
look...
Happiny blocked the path by pushing two rocks into the way. Let's say they are round (which they are not), and have a diameter of five feet (rough estimate). To find the Sphere's volume, we need to take the radius (half the diameter, so 2.5), and cube it. (2.5)^3 = 15.625ft³. And let's say it has a mass of 300lbs. To calculate the density of the object, we used the equation D = m/V, or D = (300lbs/15.625ft³). This means the object has a density of 19.2lbs/ft³.
Now, an object in motion is easier to move than an object not in motion. The effect can be fairly drastic - it can take a tremendous amount of power to start moving something, but once it's moving, you may not even need a third of that. What this phenominal is known as escapes me, but I do know it exists. For the sake of simplicity, let's say the maximum amount of force that Happiny can extert with its 5 Attack is just enough to be able to get the rock moving.
Okay, so a Pokemon with 5 Attack can move an object with a mass of 300lbs. And that's not even taking into account the friction, surface area, and such that are usually a factor. I don't know where I was going with this, but I assume it was somewhere good. But know this much - by this game's logic, a Happiny could knock a 264.6lb solid steel Lairon over. Something with 10 Base Attack could knock over a 507.1lb Regirock.
Well, it's not exactly the best caretaker...it's a baby. Well, I suppose if little girls play with baby dolls, then babies play with eggs?Luana:
Is that Happiny trying to protect the
Manphy Egg, do you think?
I use the Buneary to smash the rocks into tiny pieces. For reference, Buneary has 66 Attack. Then again, Bidoof has 45 attack, and it can do the same.
I head on up...
It's standing with the egg near its gang, a Pichu and a GlameowMimi:
Happiny!
Okay, so we have two Pokemon protecting another Pokemon protecting an egg.Luana:
They're acting as if they want to protect
Mimi's Happiny.
By the way, remember what they said about Happiny throwing its round stone in its pouch away? It didn't apparantly, since it's graphically still there.
Diplomacy never solves anything, much less with things that don't speak your language!Luana:
It's okay, Pokemon!
We're only here to help.
We want to help both the Egg and Mimi's
Happiny.
They then attack, but get captured in one loop. Is this a joke?
And...the egg is glowing and shaking!??!
Happiny, for a Pokemon probably expressing confusion, is saying the same thing as its friends back home always say. So either Mimi's Happiny are perpetually confused, or the scriptwriter's have a brain tumor.Happiny:
Pina Pina.
And Pichu to you, too!Pichu:
Pichu!
¿Qué?Glameow:
Meowmomi.
If it lives in a faraway sea, how did it even get here?Luana:
Were you startled by it moving?
It's nothing to be worried about.
This is the Egg of a Pokemon named Manaphy
that lives in a faraway sea.
Luana:
We want to protect the Egg.
Just like you.Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve. Or it wanted to evolve.Mimi:
Mimi thinks Happiny saw Chansey's egg, the
one it carries on its belly.
Mimi thinks Happiny wanted an egg too,
not a round stone anymore.
Mimi:
Mimi didn't notice that.
Mimi's sorry for yelling at Happiny...Suddenly, the other Happinys show up carrying an egg! Err...so a Happiny can knock a rock over by itself, but it takes three to carry one egg? I'm sorry, I don't follow.Happiny:
Pina Pina...
BUT IT'S STILL IN THE POUCH GOD DAMN What were the graphic artists thinking?!Mimi:
Oh, wow, everyone!
You came for Mimi and Happiny?!
They brought this one's precious round
stone for it!
All sm-...forget it.Luana:
The other Happiny must have been worried,
too.
But it's all right now.
The runaway Happiny's all smiles again!
sodamfi pamgroLuana:
Okay, everyone!
Let's go back home together!
Barlow shows off his amazing supernatural sense of touch. He can feel the egg FROM FIVE FEET AWAY!Barlow:
So, this is the Manaphy Egg?
It feels kind of wobbly.
"Ranger Crawford sees Pokemon Egg for first time, surprised"Crawford:
Well, this is a first for me.
I've never seen a Pokemon Egg before.
That's the topic I'll run with for the
next Vien Tribune.
Luana:
I really understand how that Happiny
must have felt...Technically, couldn't it be said that sperm is the earliest stage of life? I mean, an egg is just an egg without fertalization, and some religious fanatics even have qualms about masturbation, because it wastes potential life. Or about about bacteria, amoeba, or other life that reproduce asexually?Elaine:
An egg is the earliest stage of life.
Quite WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. I can let everything else said before this in this game go. But this. This I will simply not let go of. Seriously. Does Nintendo have a problem with doing so much as alluding to asexual reproduction in their game, even with the sexual reproduction allusions? Did the script originally not have these lines, and it was changed for whatever reason by the editors, because they refuse to acknowledge the existence of amoeba? What the hell and I do mean WHAT THE HELL is wrong with these people? Are amoebas, sponges, hydras (not the mythological kind), fungi, and even certain kinds of plants not considered to be "alive" in the Pokemon world?Prof. Hastings:
Quite right.
Prof. Hastings: "It's so shiny and blue and that heart looks pretty."Prof. Hastings:
I can understand how people would be so
fascinated by it.
Really though, most people I know aren't fascinated by eggs. Even in the Pokemon universe save here, where no one is bright enough to watch the act of an egg being created. "No one knows" my ass. Just hide somewhere, or put a video camera somewhere, and watch the fun happen! I know, censorship and shit, but god damn, for the rest of us, it's stupid!
I could rant all day about this but I won't, simply because I don't have the energy to.Barlow:
Vlad and Luana, good job on
recovering the Egg.
Not only that, you helped out Mimi with her
trouble, too.
Good going, you too!
Mission Clear
Cook it, I'm starving.Elaine:
Prof. Hastings, what should we do with
this Egg?
Naturally. But of course, they'll never do that. They want to study it and even let it die in the name of science.Prof. Hastings:
Well, it goes without saying that the best
thing to do is return it to its habitat.
So the Ranger Union, despite all they do for Almia, can't obtain a ship or plane, travel out to international waters, and dump the egg? Something about that isn't right...Prof. Hastings:
Until it's possible to do so, the Union will
take care of it.
By teleportation! ...you have that, right?Prof. Hastings:
...That said, the Egg is very delicate.
How should it be transported to the
Union...?
Of course! Transport by egg Pokemon with short stubby arms! Why didn't I think of that? Oh, right, because it's retarded.Prof. Hastings:
Ah, the Happiny are volunteering!
I'd personally have nightmares.Prof. Hastings:
That's truly comforting to know.
I'd comment on this, but I can't think of anything.Prof. Hastings:
Say, Mimi?
May I accept your Happiny's offer to
carry the Egg to the Union?
If I saw an old man and a little girl walking through the forest together alone, who weren't related, I'd be all like "I'm not interupting anything, am I?"Mimi:
Yes!
Mimi will go, too!
As long as they don't use their expertise at throwing away round things, it'll all be cool.Prof. Hastings:
Ah, if you could, that would be most helpful!
Let's put Happiny's expertise at carrying
round things to good use!
And so, a new criminal syndicate was born.Prof. Hastings:
Let's move out, Team Happiny!
That's it for that mission.
Last edited by System Error; 21st November 2008 at 04:43 AM.
DiggDel.icio.usTechnoratiTwitter I have a question about Ranger Net.
Say you downloaded the missions, and don't do them. Instead you restart your current game. Do the missions you just downloaded get erased as well?
DiggDel.icio.usTechnoratiTwitterPart-time Fanfic writer, Full-time crank.
I'm not sure. I'm hoping to finish the game, reset it, do the Manaphy mission over and over to transfer it to my diamond game, wipe that after transfer, and do it all over again. I'll have to experiment with it.
DiggDel.icio.usTechnoratiTwitter If it's like the first game, you can't. It probably allows you to get only one egg from a game card and transfer only one egg.I'm not sure. I'm hoping to finish the game, reset it, do the Manaphy mission over and over to transfer it to my diamond game, wipe that after transfer, and do it all over again. I'll have to experiment with it.
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