Pokemon Ranger: Shadows of Almia - Information Thread

System Error · 4th March 2009, 12:45 AM

You call that brief? I call it a wall of text, though I didn't read it.

And yes, I'll do it tommorow.

torch · 14th March 2009, 08:35 PM

:7up:System Error, you're very,very,very funny.:7up:

System Error · 16th March 2009, 04:35 PM

Thanks. By the way, by "tommorow", I really meant "whenever I feel like it".

Part 139: I'm Doing It For My Ese

The next and final mission is called "For the Bride and Shaymin!", again in that weird-ass Japanese style of naming. Nobody gives a shit about the groom either. Though on the other hand, marriage pretty much takes away their rights anyway.

Altru Park
Prof. Hastings

Today is the big wedding day! A celebration!

I'm going to stop right here right now in the middle of the intro. What big wedding day? A celebration for who? Aren't these the kind of things you should tell a guy before getting into something?

But trust Team Dim Sun to ruin everything!

Stopping again. Uhh...Team Dim Sun isn't a marriage crashing organization, last I checked. Why would they possibly want to ruin a wedding?

Race to find Shaymin ad take it under
your protection before those slimy Team
Dim Sun criminals find it!

A legendary Pokemon? Well...I can tell you that Shaymin isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It can make plants sprout and...no, that's kinda it. I mean, it's better than the Regis at least, but when put up against the other options, it's kind of weak. Reading up on it, Seed Flare could be useful for causing destruction in Pittsburg or LA, but not a country full of outdoorsmen living in harmony with nature.

So let's start this shit.

Prof. Hastings:
Vlad, we've received a wedding
invitation on your behalf.

So it seems Vladimir has been invited to a wedding! Whose wedding? He is as equally confused as I am.

Prof. Hastings:
Until the wedding ceremony, it's a secret
as to who is marrying who.

All right, what the hell. I don't know what real-world traditions Almia's are based off of, if any, but they are more fucked than a twelve-year-old in Thailand. I've heard of the groom and bride not seeing each other on the day of the wedding, but what the hell. Why would you not know whose wedding you're attending. I could be attending the pagan wedding of Roy Dennis and Michael Jackson for all I know. That's a wedding I wouldn't want to be at!

Prof. Hastings:
You may have fun imagining who the loving
couple may be.

Oh god. Fuck you Hastings. Fuck you. Those kinds of images are better left unimagined.

Prof. Hastings:
Hahaha!

Douchebag.

Prof. Hastings:
The wedding ceremony's to be held in
Altru Park.

That reminds me: wouldn't they want to rename it after all the horrible things they did, even if it was taken over and reformed?

Prof. Hastings:
Let's go together.

Oh god, you don't think...nah. That's just crazy. And I'm serious. Dead. Fuckin'. Serious.

Okay, so Altru Park is set up kind of like it was when the Go-Rocks were here, but with a red carpet I don't believe was there before. Oh, so the red carpet is good enough for a bride, but not good enough for rock stars?

Luana:
The bride is fabulously pretty!

On a funny side note, I kept typing "bridge" whenever I went to type bride while doing this. Luana is here, Crawford is here, Barlow is here...even the nameless Operator and Ollie's mom are here!

Crawford:
I have to say I am thunderstruck.
I'm floored by these two as a couple.

But thunder is just...ah, fuck it. I knew what he meant, as little as that figure of speech means. If what he said is correct, though, we're going to see two people who make no sense to be lovers in the first place.

No really, I'm serious.

Dead.

Fuckin'.

Serious.

What in the red, white, and blue FUCK is with Japan and saying that two people arguing is a hint of love? I mean, what in the whole spectrum of colors FUCK. It's like: if they hate each other, they love each other. If they love each other, they love each other. THAT MAKES NO GODDAMNED SENSE AT ALL! Oh, and being indifferent to each other means they love each other too. Now that I think about it, I can't really blame retarded shippers.

...okay, I can let some off the hook. But I really fucking mean it. They twist anything, ANYTHING at all that does so much as barely support their ridiculous belief into a so-called "hint". Do they seriously not see the dislogic in it at times? There is the odd one that is reasonable, but between not knowing the definition of unrequited love, heterosexuality, legitimate animosity, friendships, and the friend zone, you really have to question whether they, and Japanese game designers are not fucked up in the head.

I cannot stress this enough. How do you go from absolutely hating someone and wanting to implale them on a ceramic pole, to absolutely loving someone and wanting to "impale" them on a "ceramic pole"? The answer is YOU DON'T! Guilt trips aside, it makes NO GODDAMNED SENSE! NO GODDAMNED SENSE AT ALL! And you can't always use the "guilt trip" argument, because not everyone would feel guilty about hating someone. Same goes for the "warming up to over time" argument! That works too at times, but IT DOES NOT APPLY TO EVERYTHING! WHY THE FUCK DO THEY THINK IT APPLIES TO EVERYTHING!?!?!?!?!?!!

Like, here's some more examples. Lufia II - Rise of the Sinistrals. You meet some cunt, she's a bitch. You save a castle, she comes to respect you as a soldier. FLASH-FORWARD-A-YEAR and you're married to her. I mean, really, that. Makes. No. Sense. At. All. One temple area cleared out, and one little scrub vanquished, and she's head over heels for Maxim. Did the Japanese not see Speed? Of course they didn't - but that movie put it best: relationships started in intense situations tend not to last.

Okay, that movie also said you can base it off sex, and although it supports my case, as far as I'm concerned, the second one...never happened. But seriously, it's right. Unless you have something in common besides being in that intense situation, together, it. Won't. Last! Every day, day in, day out, every night, you'll be bored! Bored because you have NO common interests, and NO other thing to do with each other but screw like rabbits! Aside from the make-up sex, marriages with constant fighting involved WILLEND IN DIVORCE! It doesn't matter what a bunch of Japs have to say about it!

Maybe, just maybe, it may work out in Japan with its different cultural standards between men and women, but not in other countries! Why do they keep trying to force their culture down everyone else's throat through video games, Japanese cartoons, Japanese comics, and all that crap? Who really knows. Maybe they're just trying to annex the US through peaceful resolve in revenge for World War II by turning everyone into a Japanese-culture loving pack of drones. But regardless, if that is the case, the cultural differences just cause aspects like this to get lost in translation! What, you don't believe me when I say a non-literal translation is much worse than a properly localized one? Play Star Ocean 2 on the Playstation and then tell me that.

Okay, I know, it'd be pretty ridiculous to change major plot points in a game just to cater to a worldwide audience. But maybe that's something that has to change, too. By making games that appeal to all but the most extreme of cultures, they will really have a chance to shine. What I'm saying is don't make games too heavily vexed in culture. Don't be culture-free (otherwise you get a lifeless shell of a game), but don't focus too much on one culture. And don't focus on cultures that are long dead or obscure, either.

The Grand Theft Auto series is one of the most popular series, and titles from that series were the only American series to make a list of the readers of Famitsu's favorite games. Everything else was Japanese. That's saying something; they obviously must be doing something right (of course, GTA4 was a trainwreck that had unendearing characters, and 80% of the missions were "drive from point A to point B" or "follow this guy"). Also saying something is how Theft Auto is popular among casual and hardcore gamers.

One of my favorite quotes about Japanese gaming pertains to a Dragon Quest game. I forgot which one, but it basically said, "2 million Japanese can be wrong" or something along those lines. This is the PERFECT example of another problem in gaming: milking a series to death. I mean, going back to Grand Theft Auto, in a good series, things are significantly changed from game to game. The setting, the plot, the characters, and even the mechanics. But no. In Japanese games (well, Japanese ANYTHING), you get the same old shit every time. Same setting (though some do break tradition), same kind of characters, same enemies, same voice actors, same everything. It makes John Cena of WWE look entertaining by comparison. Sure, you get stocky characters in American media too, but at least there, you get a lot more variance, and the repetitiveness is far between.

The voice actors point is a big one. Take Brock, for example. In the TV show, he has a distinct voice to him. I can't really describe it, but it's just the kind of voice you'd recognize. Now that's cool. What isn't cool, though, is how the guy who voice(d) him used the same voice for COUNTLESS OTHER CHARACTERS! Now let's look at someone else: let's go Japanese for once and look at Metal Gear Solid: Solid Snake. He has a distinct voice. If you heard his voice, you'd say "that's fuckin' Solid Snake", not "That's Solid Snake, or this guy, or that guy..."

Another thing many video game/Japanese cartoon voice actors are guilty of is not putting any emotion into their roles. The most they might do is making noises in anger or despair, shouting, and whispering. They sound as boring as the people who play them. In acting, you need to become your character. Well, okay: I know it is, in a way, the proper thing to do, considering there are so many of the same, but bear with me for a second. While there are bad American actors (some extreme, like Sofia Coppola, who almost made The Godfather Part III unwatchable), there are many good ones. Heath Ledger, the guy who played the Joker in The Dark Knight, really got into his role. He is an extreme example: he tried to simulate the conditions of being the Joker by staying in solitary confinement for a while under harsh circumstances to see what it's like to be truly insane. It may have even been what killed him. Even I try to get into my roles when I go to act, be it Malvolio in Twelfth Night (which some people said I nailed the role of), or the Duke in A Midsummer's Night Dream. But I can't think of one Japanese voice actor who I enjoy.

Now that I've transitioned properly, we can get an example of what good characters are like: in Shakespeare. The Japanese are aware of him: they reference him. But the difference is he could write distinct characters. And he knew when to write non-distinct characters, and how to even give them a few of their personal traits. So why won't they employ his techniques to create unique characters?!

A character like Hamlet is one to be analyzed. Is he truly insane? Does he love Ophelia? Is he being cruel to be kind (maybe that's where they got the whole "hating is loving" idea from)? Or does he have an Oedipus complex? Are the spirits he sees real, or is he really insane? Does he start off faking the insanity, but descend into true madness? There is a large amount of analysis possible on basically any character he made. But in Japanese media? You get nothing but a bunch of shit.

There's the odd good one. Though I loathe to admit it, Final Fantasy 7 was interesting. However! It was plagued with problems at first, and does not deserve much, if anything, on its own. Crisis Core, the prequel on the PSP, had some good shit in it: it depicted Cloud as being a person 20x more upbeat than he ever is in the original game, and the Aeris/Zack (she'll always be that to me) relationship actually makes the Aeris/Cloud one interesting in how it basically makes the latter look fake, as if Cloud is a substitute for Zack in Aeris' eyes. But was that in the original game? No. You'd think after Cloud remembers everything about what happened after he escaped Shinra Manor with Zack and learns to accept it (that has to fuck up a guy in the head), he'd become more upbeat - and he does. But nowhere even close to what it should've been. But he's the same old Cloud - or same new one to be exact. Meanwhile, nothing aside from a small blurb is in the original pertaining to Aeris and Zack, and even then she's like "eh". Everything else is so close, yet so far. It's all the same there too: everyone lost something they had or wanted, except Cait Sith, who's only around to be a spy and be the third best magic caster. It's interesting, but they should've used Sith as a more distinct contrast to the other characters. Instead they just fucked around. They even managed to make "everyone has something this distinct in common" even worse in Final Fantasy 8.

But getting back to Shakespeare. Yes, I'm aware that some of the contrasts can be made with some of the characters there, too. But the difference is Shakespeare didn't try to cash in one Hamlet or Macbeth's popularity. Nor did he have to go back and fix/improve things he messed up.

I'm not obsessed with Final Fantasy 7, but I will admit it's good by comparison. It is far from what it could've been, though. And if they can do that good, how come they haven't done well in recent years? Now it's just a bunch of leatherbound metros and shit that manages to be even more boring.

Now let's tie two points together: analysis of things, and games. Take The Final Fantasy Legend, aka SaGa for example. At first, I thought it was pretty boring, but then, I read something about how a lot of philosophical implications are in it. Subtleties like that are what make a game INTERESTING. It's mindblowing to find out, for example, how Gigyas in Earthbound was actually a fetus, how in Sonic 3 & Knuckles, when you play as Sonic or Tails, Angel Island is in the ocean as shown by the background, but the ocean is not in the background as Knuckles, signifying it is in the air, or - even though it's not game - how they snuck so many adult references into old cartoons. From the subtle, like the doctor in Rugrats who gave the parents bad advice for raising the kids being called Dr. Lipschitz for how bullshit comes out of his mouth, to the blatant like a shadowed stripper taking off her bra in an episode of Two Stupid Dogs.

And THAT, my fellow users of the internet, is what there should be more of in gaming. Subtleness. But no. Just no. They don't do that anymore. Nowadays, they just let the fans decide things based off the smallest, irrelevant pieces of information (once again bringing us back to shipping) and blatantly state everything else. It makes Tim Buckley look like a creative genius by comparison. It's like they're appealing to a bunch of retards.

So let's come full circle: how is it that they can get away with dealing with that? As I have concluded, it is because they think, nay, know, that most gamers are retards. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but retards in how they will believe and worship with the fury of a thousand suns ANYTHING that is put out for them that fits their tastes. They have it nailed into their head that hating someone is a sign of loving of loving them, and they not only believe it, but use it to jump to conclusions on other things. All the while, the Japanese are making their characters boring. Why? Simply because they do not have to. As I just said, the ones they appeal to will accept anything that is given to them. They are completely oblivious to what the things they worship actually are. They think that what they like is the cream of the crop, and that everything else is boring. But no. That is not the case. The Japanese simply use the firm belief these people have to cover up the truth. The truth, that their characters, settings, and storylines are nothing but a bunch of...

BORING
PATHETIC
WORTHLESS
ANNOYING
UNINSPIRED
CULTURE-PUSHING
PIECES OF SHIT!

...holy shit, that's got to be the most I've written for a single point. How the hell did I even go from insulting one point I will stand by no matter what to writing a boardline psychotic essay filled with pure rage?

Part 140: Japan's Logic is Weird

Barlow:
The weather's great.
There are no incidents, either.

We open this part with none other than a quote from Barlow on the weather. I'd feel better if it wasn't always this way, Rain Dance aside.

Barlow:
It's going to be one great wedding.

Hmm...now that I've had a chance to think straight, it might be Ollie and Elaine getting conde-err...married. Where are they? Though there are two things with that.

1) Aren't they a little young?
2) What are the legal ramifications? I mean, no one seems eager to be forthcoming with Ollie's legal name, and that's something you should need!

Barlow:
Err... Ahem.
L-Laddies and generals...

Aye, let me knock back a pint for 'em!

Barlow:
Sorry, from the top again.

Okay.

Barlow:
L-Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to
introduce our bride and groom.

Will I be right?! WILL THIS EXPLAIN WHY NO OTHER RANGER IS HERE?!!?!?!

Barlow:
May I direct your attention to the stage, please?

Don't leave me hangin', now! I know - there's a guy in a blue suit and some potted plant there. I know. Shut up.

Barlow:
The bride: Almia's greatest Mechanic,
Elaine!

Bingo! See, this is what I was talking about. Elaine and Ollie weren't there, so I noticed that subtlety and picked up on it. It's weak, but it's there. Unfortunately, the points about them being too young and the legal problems of not knowing Ollie's real name again come up. Elaine looks no more than 15. And that's a stretch, considering how young Japanese characters are. Fuck, I knew I was forgetting something in that essay.

Seriously though, that age is way too young for commitment. I mean it.

Barlow:
And the groom: Ollie, a nice guy who knows
the meaning of gratitude!

Oh yeah, that's another thing: love coming from out of nowh-wait, I did cover that. Never ment.

Barlow:
Er, ahem.

Ah-ha! So that wasn't a potted plant, it was part of Elaine! There's a gold heart statue behind them. What the fuck kind of gratitude is this. This is greed. Spending so much on a wedding. The blue flowers (which nearly blend in with the background) are in wine-glass shaped pots which are probably made of silver. Even the little drapes hung on the railing look expensive!

Barlow:
As you know, Almia's weddings are known
for their lack of formality.

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT ALLOWED TO KNOW WHO THE BRIDE AND GROOM ARE BEFORE YOU GET THERE? DID THEY EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS SHIT AS THEY WERE WRITING?

Barlow:
So, please, do feel free to mingle and
socialize with other guests.

That was nerve wracking...

God damn it, kiss the damn bride already. By the way, where's the minister?

Ollie's Mom:
The people at the Ranger Base turned
my son into what he is today.

I hope you will stay good friends with him
and Elaine.

At this rate, she just just hope I don't go on a killing spree.

Operator:
I'm going to become a bride one day, too!

Ollie got a nickname...poor "Operator" just gets a title. At least they had the dignity to invite her this time.

Luana:
I hope I can wear a dress like that one day!

Hey, if Elaine could get a groom, I don't see why she couldn't.

Prof. Hastings:
Well, well, the wedding couple seem well
suited for one another.

Doc. He's a lazy guy who got forcefully reformed into a hard worker. She's some chick who likes to take things apart but can't put them back together. They're about as well suited for each other as sulpheric acid is for giving an enema.

Barlow:
That Ollie...

I think he was already falling for Elaine when
she treated his burns.

I thought he'd fall for Big Bertha when she gave him some pudding. Again, this is an attempt to retcon something to make a point.

Crawford:
Elaine said her heart rolled over when Ollie
cried while eating Big Bertha's milk pudding.

Envy! The second most deadliest sin of all! God, it's frightening to know we came THIS close to having four orphans and two seperate but related murders.

Ollie:
We wanted this to be a surprise.

Well, I can't argue with that. Mostly because NO ONE WOULD'VE EXPECTED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE AS THE RELATIONSHIP CAME OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE WITH AN INSTANT MARRIAGE WHY NOT ACTUALLY TRY DATING FIRST TO SEE IF YOU CAN STAND EACH OTHER FOR EXTENDER PERIODS OF TIME GOD DAMN

Ollie:
We're sorry for not telling anyone.

What reason did you even have to hide it in the first place? It's not like you were like Romeo and Juliet. I mean, for christ's sake.

Ollie:
It was worth it to see the look of surprise
on your face, though, Vlad.

Dude. Fuck you.

Elaine:
Thank you.

I'm feeling so overwhelmed by all this.
I feel like I'm in a dream...

And then Little Sister woke up, shaken from her dream, and once again aware and deeply depressed by the fact that that her brother was not actually a Top Ranger, but in fact, long dead.

Elaine:
My heart feels like it's bubbling over...

I've got nothing else to say about this. Bring on Dim Sun already!

Barlow:
Ladies and gentlemen.

For someone so nervous five minutes ago, Barlow is strangely calm.

Barlow:
May we have some quiet, please?
The bride and groom wish to say something.

"Some quiet"? Do I even have to comment on this? Do I really have to?

Barlow:
First, Ollie, the groom.

The music is exempt from "some quiet", apparantly. It also looks like the translators never heard of the term "wedding vows".

Ollie:
Ehehe, uh, thank you.

I'm Ollie, as you know.
Uhh... This is so awkward.

So now he's even calling himself by his fake name? Couldn't they just say that is coincidently his real name?

Ollie:
Um, thank you so much for taking the
time to join us on our wedding day...

Ho-

Hold it!

Oh, that's it. No one makes me reset the game three times just to get the message because yours interupts and replaces it.

You're dead.

Jonah · 18th March 2009, 07:45 PM

Repeat after me, System Error:

Giygas is not a fetus.

Giygas is not a fetus.

Giygas is not a fetus.

Giygas is not a fetus.

Giygas is not a fetus.

Shigesato Itoi had not intention of making Giygas look like a fetus and any resemblance is entirely coincidental.

In other news, long essay is long. Also, what about that mission with the Dragonair? Ollie sure seemed eager to make Elaine happy then.

As for my own experience with the mission: You call that a BOSS? I didn't get hit once and I had Shaymin in about 5 charged loops.

System Error · 18th March 2009, 07:59 PM

Dude. All you have is your own claims (if you get a link to an article saying it was unintentional I will believe you). It seems too big to just call a coincidence. It could very well be a fetus. It's much more fun to keep an open minds about these things!

Gigyas is a fetus.

Gigyas is a fetus.

Gigyas is a fetus.

Gigyas is a fetus.

Gigyas is a fetus.

Gigyas is a fetus.

...

NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS

And okay, so I forgot about that mission with the Dragonair. >_> I thought I might've forgotten something, and so that softens it up a bit. They're still a little young to be getting married, though, and the legal ramifications of not knowing Ollie's legal name are weird, too.

The Outrage · 18th March 2009, 08:05 PM

D:

The marriage didn't come out of no-where. There was that whole getting you to find a Dragonair so Ollie can impress Elaine with his Pokemon Ranger-bossing-around-skills.

System Error · 18th March 2009, 08:14 PM

Originally Posted by Outrage

D:

The marriage didn't come out of no-where. There was that whole getting you to find a Dragonair so Ollie can impress Elaine with his Pokemon Ranger-bossing-around-skills.

Yeah, I acknowledged that in my last post ("softens things up a bit"). So at least it's based off love and not hate that degenerated, so that's good. I still stand by them being too young, though. >_> It's also way too early in the relationship! I mean, god damn. It probably hasn't even been a month since they met! That, above all else, is the reason why divorce rates are so high today. Jumping the gun on getting married.

And either way, it's time to finish this.

Part 141: Dim Sun. Destroyers. Kidnappers. Romantics?

Okay, so now I know the relationship was built on love. That's good, Snake. But though I hate to sound like a broken record, THEY ARE TOO YOUNG, IT IS TOO SOON, AND THERE ARE LEGAL RAMIFICATIONS!

Luana:
What?! It can't be!
Team Dim Sun?!

There's some TV show my brother was watching about the "science" of anything being possible. And while it is true that anything can happen - for example the world could implode into itself RIGHT AS YOU'RE READING THIS - you're far more likely to be struck by lightning while winning the lottery. But an evil Team reforming after being destroyed is not only possible. It's mandatory.

Prof. Hastings:
What are you creeps doing here?

Don't tell me you were invited to represent
the criminal element?

Team Dim Sun Remenants: "Actually, we were. Hee hee hee!"

Prof. Hastings:
If not, how dare you interrupt this joyous
occasion?

Uhh...because it's their right, Doc? You know, the whole "if anyone has any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now, or forever hold your peace" thing? Though they're a little early...

Team Dim Sun Remnants (1):
Now, now, Mr. Hastings.
You don't want to get too excited.

Team Dim Sun Remnants: "At your age, it could cause serious heart problems. It's bad for your health!"

Team Dim Sun Remnants (1):
All we want is the bridge's bouquet.
There's no need for any rough stuff.

There is a male Remnant and a female Remnant here. Catching the bridge's bouquet at a wedding means you're next in line to be married. Can I make it any more obvious? Of course, Almia, with its fucked up weddings that let people get married without their legal name or at the age of 15, probably works differently.

???:
Meeyeen.

Shaymin's cry sounds like a bird, and more like "Mey yeeyee yee yee yeeeee, yee". When an associate of mine hooked me up with a TRU one (since Nintendo hates Canada) and I played its cry, my lovebirds spoke back to it. Wonder what it said.

Elaine:
Yikes!

You know what'd be funny? If the time to throw the bouquet came, then Dim Sun came out of nowhere and grabbed it. They'd be within legal boundries, but people would still deem them criminals. If I ever started an evil organization in a video game world, that's what I'd do. Push the legal boundries to the limit; walk along the razor's edge, but don't actually violate any laws.

Ollie:
The bouquet! It moved!

They didn't know it was a Shaymin? Damn son, Dim Sun is vexxed in culture! Makes me wonder why they didn't just take Shaymin during a random wedding no one would care about, not a Ranger's wedding.

Team Dim Sun Remnants (2):
Ahahahaha!

That's it!
We're after that moving bouquet!

The female one is talking now.

Team Dim Sun Remnants (1):
Aww, no! The Shaymin ran off!

When will evil organizations learn to use knockout gas at a time like this? Seriously, it'd take everyone out, let them casually swipe the Shaymin, and move out.

Team Dim Sun Remnants (1):
We need that Shaymin for resurrecting
Team Dim Sun!

Team Dim Sun Remnants (1): If we don't get it, we'll never be married, and we can never make kids! What? We may be evil, but even we have religious standards!

Team Dim Sun Remnants: (1)
Chase it down!

With gusto!

The pair run off.

Barlow:
Shaymin?
Team Dim Sun's resurrection?

Barlow also didn't know it was a Shaymin. If no one in the Ranger Base knew it was a Shaymin...wait, that makes no sense. If they grabbed a random bouquet that turned out to be Shaymin, Dim Sun should've never known about it. Did it just randomly show itself under a disguise and no one questioned where it came from?

Prof. Hastings:
Shaymin is an extremely rare Pokemon.

Not rare enough so that Dim Sun didn't know to find one at a wedding, though.

Prof. Hastings:
When it curls up, it appears as if it were a
bunch of flowers.

Doc, I appreciate the lecture and all, but aren't you going to tell us where it came from or why it's here?

Prof. Hastings:
Ack, this is no time to be giving you lecture!
It's an emergency Mission!

Holy fuck, the game just said my exact sentiments again!

Prof. Hastings:
Find the Shaymin before Team Dim Sun and
take it under protection!

No, wait, I still want to know why it's here.

Luana:
I feel terrible for the bride...

No one cares about the groom.

Elaine:
We're beyond happy just being together
like this.

We'll be perfectly fine.

See? Even she doesn't mind that her bouquet just ran off. Why isn't the mission just called "For Shaymin!" then?

Elaine:
Go on, Pokemon Ranger, do your job and
help those in need, please.

Now we're talking. Let's do this shit.

Ollie:
Elaine will be fine with me.
Please, go help that Shaymin!

WHY ISN'T THE MISSION JUST CALLED "For Shaymin!" THEN?

Barlow:
All right, everyone! Let's move!

- Extra Mission -
For the Bride and Shaymin!

Maybe some female empowerer wrote the script and just wanted to rip on the men...

Part 142: The Last Mission Starts...Now!

Prof. Hastings:
I'll go, too!

Scientists must never pass up the chance to study something!

Prof. Hastings:
Having a bigger search party will give us
an advantage.

Ah, come on Doc. We all know why you're going. If not, you'd be asking Ollie's Mom and Operator to help, too!

So off we go.

Brook:
Hi, what's going on?
Maybe a Ranger marathon race?

Brook randomly talks to us as we run by, and Vlad stops. Hastings come walking by a few seconds later.

...yeah, sure Brook. And now I have to use the cannon to get ahead because you held me up. Thanks a lot.

Brook:
No? I misread it?
A wedding, you say!

Kinda hard to...no, there was no clue it was a wedding. So he is forgiven. Though Dim Sun ran by too, so he should've deemed it a chase.

Brook:
So people run around to wish the married
couple well?

Maybe at the wedding of the gang from Scooby Doo.

Brook:
Young people these days...
I can't say I much understand them.

Hastings is like twice this guy's age, and even he's closer to the times than Brook.

Like a Benny Hill chase scene, Dim Sun runs around with their pursuers on the run. Then the Rangers stop in the middle of town. Also, Vlad somehow got ahead of Hastings, even after I spent a lot of time just sitting there with the dialogue box open. In fact, even if I just hammered on through the dialogue, he still wouldn't be ahead of Hastings.

Barlow:
Priority 1: We have to stop the Dim Sun
thugs from leaving this area.

Use one of those roadblocks! They were effective on me, weren't they?

Barlow:
Crawford, you go guard the path to the
harbor.

It's not like they're going to be able to jack a boat, Barlow. Those sailors are tough! And if they do, send the Sharpedo after them and sink them.

Barlow:
Luana, take the path to the forest.
I'll be on lookout here.

Great! So who's going to guard the sky? Anyone? Aw, fuck.

Crawford:
Gotcha! I'm off toward the harbor.

kthxbye

Luana:
And I'll be guarding the path to the forest.

Why do Japanese characters repeat things all the time?

Barlow:
Vlad, I want you to hit the streets
and find the missing Shaymin.

Shouldn't be too hard.

Barlow:
If you run into any Dim Sun goons, be sure
to teach them a lesson!

Right! I'll show them what happens when you make a Poke Ball larger while it's inside someone's rec-wait, I don't have any. Damn. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to settle for sticking my boot up their ass.

Prof. Hastings:
As for me...
I shall accompany Vlad.

Great. Someone to slow me down.

Prof. Hastings:
I would like to observe Shaymin's behavior
in the wild for myself.

Doc? It's not in the wild. It's being chased around by a bunch of guys in suits and outdoorsmen in an urban area.

I chat up the locals to see if they have any information.

Employee:
Don't you think it would be wonderful if
they put up some tall buildings here?

It'd alienate the claustrophobic, foolish girl.

Employee:
These roads should be widened as well,
while they're at it.

Employee: And they should also put up some hot dog stands. Maybe make the lamps brighter as well. And a fountain couldn't hurt either!

Employee:
The two of us are from Altru Inc.
We're here on a survey.

Doesn't a survey take the opinions of more than one person?

Employee:
We have an ongoing plan to redevelop this
old town completely.

Wait, haven't I heard this dialogue before? Why are they still here planning to redevelop if Dim Sun's plans are gone? I think they just got lazy with the dialogue in the mission, almost as if it were an afterthought.

Prof Hastings:
Shaymin are said to curl up and hide
themselves among flowers.

Oh, about bloody time that flower shop got a point to it.

Prof Hastings:
Be sure to check anywhere that seems
suspicious to you!

So it's settled. TO THE FLOWER SHOP!

Part 143: The Flower Shop

So I'm going to the Flower Shop, because that is where something that hides itself among flowers would more than likely be hiding.

Florist:
How would you like a pretty flower?

Got any boquets?

Florist:
Take one so you can enjoy its aroma at
home instead of just here.

I'm no botanist, but I do know flowers lose their scent and die after a while if they're not rooted.

Okay, so it wasn't there, and there was likely just repeated dialogue. So...TO THE PLACE THAT GOT A SHITLOAD OF FLOWERS!

Instead of finding it there, though, I find it just outside. Not exactly camoflagued either, moreso because it's moving.

This is...
Shaymin!

When I click it, the game feels the need to tell me that I found it. As if the top screen info wasn't enough, but eh.

Team Dim Sun Remnants (1):
So, you want to know why we're doing this?

You told us before: to revive Team Dim Sun.

Team Dim Sun Remnants (1):
That extremely rare Shaymin can be sold
to a collector for huge money!

Huge money? They make money that big in Almia?

Okay, so he meant a lot of money. But really, would anyone be dumb enough to buy the Shaymin? It hasn't been properly laundered; it'd be easy to trace.

Team Dim Sun Remnants (1):
With that money, we can develop new
weapons for Team Dim Sun!

Yeah, like a gun! Or a knife! Really, what's the point of developing Pokemon-controlling weapons if they're just going to be destroyed when you can just shoot your opposers dead?

Team Dim Sun Remnants (1):
If you try to interfere, we'll whip out our
Miniremo from the oil-field hideout!

Hundreds have come saying the same thing, and all those hundreds have kneeled before me! You shall be no different!

An Absol and an Umbreon show up. I used a Tyrogue's assist to get them both. The Absol actually hit me, but did no damage. I've still got it!

Team Dim Sun Remnants (1):
Shaymin?!
Hey! Stop, you!

Nice going, douchebag. Now I have to find it again.

Lady:
Our Chingling appears to be frightened of
other Pokemon.

The fuck? I did the mission so it got over that! Did I go back in time? No one told me Dialga or Celebi was involved in this mission!

Part 144: So We Have Now Offically Gone Back to the Past. Again.

So now I need to find Shaymin again. Great. Now where could it be?

Luana:
There's been nothing unusual this way.

I'll contact you by voicemail if I spot
anything.

That's a lot of help. No really, it tells me it's not on the east side of town! Or maybe it ran across the bridge, whatever.

Interestingly, I notice now that there are various flowers scattered about that I don't think were there before. They kind of look like Shaymin, but it's still impossible to confuse the two. Shaymin never hides out in the open, and it moves. Awfully convenient that they'd show up just in time for this incident, isn't it?

This is...
A real flower, nothing more.

When did they get there, anyway?

I check in the Flower-Filled building, even though the Shaymin didn't run that way. Or at least try to.

Prof. Hastings:
I doubt you'll find the Shamyin inside
any building.

Don't be so sure. Animals can end up in really weird places! Some (the toilet) less weird than others (a gay man's ass).

Okay, so the Shaymin is not on the west side. Thanks for the help, Luana. I instead find it near Isaac's house.

Team Dim Sun Remnants (2):
Team Dim Sun will rise again!

We won't let you interfere with our plan!
Never!

*sigh* Why can't these people just do things the easy way for once? Or if they insist on doing things the hard way, move out of Almia. Terrorize a country without any sort of police force, formal or informal.

Miniremo fight. Two Bellosom and a Roserade. Fire Assist (Magby) takes them down without too much trouble. Again, Shaymin hops off.

Team Dim Sun Remnants (2):
Oh, no, there goes the Shaymin!
Wait, wait, wait!

Attack it god damn. That'll stop it.

Melody:
Thank you for saving us!

Isaac is still really happy about it!

Hmm...when did this happen in the plot? If it happened after the events in the town caused the people to change say what they said, we have a continuity problem on our hands.

Crawford:
This area is clear.

Neither the Shaymin nor the Dim Sun goons
have gone by me to the harbor.

So...okay. The Shaymin must be back on the east side of town, because Luana hasn't called, and it isn't anywhere on the west side. Meaning it double backed along the bridge.

Luana:
Voicemail! Voicemail!
The Shaymin has been spotted!

A little late on the call, aren't you, Luana?

Luana:
Team Dim Sun has cornered it on the bridge
in the middle of town!

Oh, good. I'm there now. Still, this brings up why she didn't call me about seeing it cross the bridge early.

Luana:
Please, you have to help it!

I probably already would have if I didn't have to listen to long-winded people all the time.

Team Dim Sun Remnants (1):
There's no getting away now!

Team Dim Sun Remnants (2):
Oops! No, no!
This side's blocked, too!

It looks as though Shaymin has completely forgotten that it can run, or rather, hop. The Dim Suns wouldn't be fast enough to grab it! Or worst comes to worse: jump off the bridge! It'll make it easily because it's light: too bad for Dim Sun, though.

Shaymin:
Meeyeen.

But no! Instead, it gets pissed and attacks! Also note how it has the same "Meeyeen" reaction to both being scared and being angry.

Team Dim Sun Remnants (1):
Owowowow!
This thing's tougher than it looks!

A simple tackle that barely moves them hurts quite a bit for the Remnants.

Team Dim Sun Remnants (2):
Ouch, ouch...!

Then again, going with our attack power to actual strength corelation before, Shaymin's 100 attack could probably knock down a tower better than any plane could. Or explosives for you conspiracy theorists, explosives.

Team Dim Sun Remnants (2):
My Miniremo's wrecked!
Now what?!

Well, I know the laws of physics still apply. Just stand on it or something. You'll probably be able to break its bones.

Team Dim Sun Remnants (1):
Gah! Ranger!

We have no Miniremo units, and my feet
hurt...

It's hopeless!
Let's run away!

Not like we've ever fought in hand-to-hand. Who needs Miniremo when you can just ravage the Ranger with your hands?

Shaymin:
Meeyeen.

Shaymin's "YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN BITCH!" is the same as its "I'M PISSED" and "I'M SCARED!" Hmm...

Prof. Hastings:
Vlad, be careful!

That Shaymin is highly agitated.
It may view us as enemies.

Hastings is suddenly a genius on Shaymin behavior. I though he wouldn't know, presumably having never seen one before. The general rule may not apply.

Part 145: There was a Boss Here?

Part 146: How Small Must These Segments Be So I Can Hit the Magic Number of 150?

Part 147: I'm Going Somewhere With These. I swear!

Part 148: Here Comes the Bride! All Fat 'n Wide!

No really, that dress makes her look fat.

Prof. Hastings:
Sorry, you two!
We've kept you waiting too long!

Yep, you can thank me for that! But we're back! Even though you didn't need the Shaymin to be happy!

Prof. Hastings:
Let's continue with this interrupted
wedding.

If only we skipped to pronouncing them man and wife!

Prof. Hastings:
The Shaymin's here to join the proceedings!

I feel bad for Shaymin. It has to serve as a bouquet for a bunch of random people's weddings on a regular basis. Which reminds me: how did it even get here?

Barlow:
I think Ollie was in the middle of his speech
when the fun started.

Fun? Barlow, that's harsh. You just said that a wedding is not fun, but beating down Team Dim Sun members is! And I'll be damned if you aren't...right.

Ollie:
This is something I've realized.

I'm so lucky to have met everyone in the
Vien Forest that day.

Even Team Dim Sun?

Ollie:
If I didn't, I could have ended up choosing
the wrong path like those Dim Sun goons.

Wrong path? I know they're morally fucked up at times, but it's part of free will!

Ollie:
That's why I'm...

...going to tell us your real name already?!

Ollie:
I'm so grateful to Elaine, my bride, and
everyone at the Ranger Base...

Damn it! This is going to bother me for the rest of my life, now.

Elaine:
Ollie isn't the sort of a person who would
knowingly become a criminal.

Now she's just subliminally insulting him. "Ollie is stupid enough to be tricked into doing bad things". Seems like there are quite a few of those people out there.

Elaine:
The job he did...

Was fantastic? Corrupting? Horrible?

Elaine:
That job he took only because someone
took advantage of his insecurity.

I wonder if he's insecure about other things.

"Hey, join us, and you can become bigger and better in bed!"

Elaine:
After that, Ollie has helped me and the
Range Base in so many ways.

Elaine: He's great in the sack and he also makes good comic relief.

Elaine:
I'm sincerely grateful for everything he's
done.

In Almia, you're always grateful. You never give props, you never give kudos, you're never thankful or glad or elated, you're just grateful. At least when the plot demands it.

Barlow:
I concur.

Two people who are grateful of each
other... They're an ideal couple.

So well put, yet so far. Just being grateful isn't enough! You need good chemistry! Common interests! Time spent together! You can't just up and marry after a few months!

Barlow:
Let me have this opportunity to formally
congratulate you.

Well, it's good to be on the other end of a massive congratulatory segment for once.

Luana:
Elaine! Ollie!
I hope you'll be happy forever!

Calling it now: divorced within two years. Call me a pessimist, whatever.

Crawford:
You know, I thought Elaine fell for Ollie
because he reeked of oil.

Now that's the shit I'm looking for. Physical attractiveness. Of course, he'd have to never take a bath. And that still isn't enough to justify a marriage, much less one so soon. But at least it delves into the realm of fuck buddies.

Crawford:
You know, because she's a Mechanic and all.

This is a funny thought. She'd take him apart...in bed.

Crawford:
...Okay, you were supposed to laugh there.

Hey, I did! Don't know about the others, though.

Luana:
There's something I don't understand,
though.

Hey! Give Ollie's mother a chance to speak!

Luana:
Why did the Shaymin pretend to be Elaine's
bouquet?

Oh, fucking finally! We're going to find out why it showed up!

Prof. Hastings:
Well, did you know this?

Shaymin is also known as the "Gratitude
Pokemon."

And Arcanine is the "Legendary Pokemon", but it's not a legendary by official standards.

Prof. Hastings:
It wouldn't surprise me to know that one
was attracted to a place where people are
experiencing strong feelings of gratitude.

It's almost as if it feeds off gratitude, like some sort of vampire.

Prof. Hastings:
Ollie and Elaine's feelings of gratitude are
what attracted this Shaymin.

Okay. So let me get this straight. The game designers made a mission about how a Shaymin got attracted to a wedding because the bride and groom felt strong feelings of gratitude toward each other. Okay. Now this love wasn't publicized until the very last minute, meaning anyone who was not there for the official announcement would not hear about it right away, because word like this takes time to spread. No one aside from the people at the Ranger Base and Ollie's mother attended, and Rangers are not exactly the group of people that the public would ignore and not care about, so it can be presumed that few people knew about it. But somehow, someway, Team Dim Sun learned of it. And despite all these feelings being kept from everyone until the last minute when this wedding took place they still knew that they felt graditude towards each other, and that there was a Shaymin there, allowing them time to get into contact with a collector who would buy the Shaymin for a large sum of money and reform the team, allowing weapons of an undisclosed nature to be built.

Yeah. Team Dim Sun finding out makes no sense at all.

Prof. Hastings:
That is what I think.

Someone probably just threw this line in there to apologize for that lack of logic, saying that there may have been another reason. But whichever way you look at it, it makes no goddamned sense for Team Dim Sun to have known about it! How did Team Dim Sun know about it? HOW DID TEAM DIM SUN KNOW ABOUT IT?!??!?!??!!!????

Shaymin:
Meeyeen.

That's five or six lines that Shaymin communicates with the same "Meeyeen" now.

Luana:
The Shaymin seems to be happy for the
wedding couple, too.

So...any chance of Ollie's mom getting to say a few lines here? Any at all?

Prof. Hastings:
Wh-What is this?!

Nope, Shaymin just starts spreading rainbow petals around in a spiral as it runs around Ollie and Elaine. The epicenter isn't even near Shaymin: it's just coming out of a seemingly random spot behind Ollie.

Crawford:
Oh, wow, wow!
It's a shower of flowers!

Wait, what the fuck?

Huh? What now? The screen's going white?

That's it?

No, that's not it. Shaymin just covered the entirety of Altru Park's grass in pink and white flowers, which look more like squares. A theme I believe has not played before plays now.

Elaine:
Look at all the flowers!

Oh god, they're everywhere.

Ollie:
This is so beautiful...

In a weird way...say, the water looks messed up, too. And I think there are even flowers on the sidewalk. None on the red carpet or the stage, though. And Shaymin is gone! Did it commit suicide just to put flowers everywhere?

Crawford:
This is a gift from Shaymin for the both
of you!

Yeah, but the guys who mow the grass are gonna have the hell of a time cleaning this mess up. God damn, Shaymin is an inconsiderate jerk.

Luana:
...Huh?!

The Shaymin's gone!

It's dead, Luana.

Prof. Hastings:
Perhaps another new outbreak of
gratitude has emerged in Almia?

But where? Where could there be a random outbreak of gratitude? And why haven't I seen it until now if gratitude is presumably so common?

Prof. Hastings:
Gratitude that would make the Shaymin
act.

Oh god, there aren't going to be more of these flowers, are there? They're nice and all, but when they're everywhere, they just lose their sense of meaning!

Ollie:
Shaymin, thank you.

Still a chance for Ollie's Mom to have a line! Come on, don't end it without her saying something emotional about how her son has grown up!

Elaine:
I'll never forget this day...

Yeah. Forgetting your wedding day is kinda a bad thing to do.

Do not turn off the power.
Saving data.........

Well, no line from Ollie's Mom. Wasted opportunity in my opinion. I'm just grateful this trainwreck of a final mission is over.

Part 149: Where Are They Now?: The Director's Cut

By popular demand...

- Elaine was involved in an accident with a toaster oven three years after her marriage to Ollie, and suffered amnesia as a result. Her promise to never forget her wedding day had been effectively broken.

- Ollie's genitals were mangled after buying into a penis enlargement cream scam, after he felt insecure over the size of it after finding a Diglett-shaped dildo in Elaine's dresser. The dildo was later found to belong to a lonely Luana, who had misplaced it.

- "Operator" eventually quit her job after she realized she pretty much never got to do anything for the Rangers. Some say justifiably, too.

- Ice decided to start a new life after Team Dim Sun disbanded. After months of deliberating what a man as "cool" as him could do, and eating frozen dairy products, he finally found his calling in music. In 1990, he released his hit single, "Ice Ice Baby"

- Lavana, without a leader to guide her and someone to vent on, took to the first thing that came to mind - the cosmetics factory. She is currently serving 10-15 years in a state penetentry for arson.

- Heath got a job at a suicide hotline, but was fired after he said lines such as, "you have problems, but you use solvent, yes?", and "You bring good friend, yes? You hang together and let go worries." leading to 37 deaths and 168 related injuries.

- Wheeler found his calling in the United States, where his knowledge of business allowed him to push himself into high-class society. He currently employed as a CEO of the company AIG.

- Blake Hall, aka Wyatt Hall, was never heard from again. Some witnesses have reported seeing him in London, going by the pseudonym "Garth". Others have reported it as "Gary", "Gay", "Graham", and "Grey, except he spells the word like an American scoundrel"

- After Mr. Lamont was accused of pedophilia by international police for the 47th time, he decided to retire from the position as head of the Ranger School. He now holds a steady job as a figurehead in the Union.

- Ms. April got married to Male Student. However, legal precident came into play following the Ollie/Elaine wedding to be undergone even if one's real name is not given. This led to an amusing situation where she was legally married to countless of generic students, some of which she had never met.

- Mr. Kincaid was sued in 2005 for destroying the ozone layer through massive overuse of hair products.

- Mr. Kaplan was eventually promoted to the head of the Ranger School, following a recommendation from Vlad and a massive insurgence in popularity. His way of teaching led to a new generation of Rangers, nicknamed the "Kaplanet Protectors" by those who liked them, and "Pokemon Changers", "Endangerers", or "assholes" by those who didn't. Though Rangers have pretty much conquered Almia as is already, making his catchphrases moot.

- Ponte eventually took his "conflicted marshmallow boy" nickname too literally, and it surprisingly made him big. He now works in commercials alongside the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

- Little Tim eventually completely beat his fear of Pokemon. So much so that left the profession of farming and became a famous Pokemon Racing jocky/daredevil. He has cheated death on so many occasions that the reaper is likely killing random people to sooth its nerves.

- Big Bertha, like Little Tim, also entered the world of sports. She was employed by TNA Wrestling for her massive build. Many optimistic marks and smarks alike hoped she would be used as a benefactor to the similarly built Awesome Kong, but Russo went and fucked it up as usual.

- Mimi was thought to be destined to become a nurse with all her Happinys after they evolved. There were even pushes to get her into Rangering. Sadly, the lack of Round Stones in Almia became apparant as they remained Happinys forever, bringing up the question of just how they got there in the first place.

- Pamur took Vlad's advice and founded the Organization for People Lacking Actual Names in Other's Eyes. Sadly, Ollie did not join OPLANOE as Vlad expected he would, though virtually everyone else dead, much to his annoyance.

- Mrs. Winters passed away peacefully in her sleep one year after the Shaymin incident. She was buried alongside her husband. What? Can't there be a normal occurance for once?

- Henry achieved his dream of travelling the world with his son. His coffee was tasted by a rich gourmet in France, who surprisingly loved it. After Henry rejected the offer to work for him full time as his personal brewer because of his responsibilities, the gourmet did the next best thing and moved to Haruba Village, but not before telling his friends. Tourism in Almia skyrocketed 500%, all to get a taste of Henry's famous coffee.

- Mr. Woodward got into a nasty rivalry with a Mr. Barker, who moved to Almia after word of Henry's famous coffee. The ensuing woodcraftsman competition led to a total of 187 trees being cut down, destroying the habitat of many a Pokemon.

- Pedro Gonzales moved to Almia after word of Henry's famous coffee reached him joined Janice as a caretaker of the Ranger School. Janice was almost pink slipped after Pedro offered to work at a lower wage, but then they remembered Almia has no monetary system in place, and that he could work the boy's dorm more comfortably.

- Brook, deciding he was too far behind the times, decided to go out and see the world after Henry achieved massive success through it. Unfortunately, while Haruba got along fine without Henry, the troll beneath the bridge came out once Brook was out of the picture. It attempted to find goats to eat, but when it found none, it settled for terrorizing the children. And thus, the legend of the Boogeyman got started.

- The people of Boyleland were forced to evacuate following a volcanic eruption that rocked the island. Despite the total destruction of their city, they moved back shortly after the lava cooled and continued what they were doing. A rumor circulating around says that they are looking to enter into a sister city project with New Orleans.

- Vlad's family joined him in the resturaunt business. His Dad continued to grow vegetables, proud of his son for making the family so big. His mother usually handled the cooking. Little Sis tried to push the Isaac/Melody wedding to be a double one, but was rejected. Not only by Vlad, but by her parents as well. She ran away in heat-of-the-moment rage shortly afterwards. She was never seen or heard from again.

Part 150: This Is It! No More! What More Is There To Do? No More, That's What. There's No More to Do. To Do More Would Be More Is Necessary. I Could Do More, But That More Which I Do Would Be More Boring. So No More!

Yep. I'm finally finished with this game, 100%! All I can really do now is obtain max level, but I don't have obsessive-compulsive disorder. Or if I do, at least not to that magnitude.

Here are my final stats from the Ranger Record. Back in Part 102, I posted what they were at the end of the main game. Well, here they are after the end of the rest of the game.

----

Field
No. of Steps Walked: 006295
No. of Conversations: 01506
Targets Checked: 00611
No. of Saves: 00185
No. of Pokemon Rides: 00249
No. of Quests Cleared: 60/60
Play Time: 80:13

Captures
Best Partner: Snover
Pokemon Captured: 1273
Abandoned Attempts (Fled): 0063
Poke Assists Used: 0314
Capture Line Length: 666397
No. of Loops: 020322
Current Exp. Points: 0479268

----

Final thoughts on the game? It was better than the first Pokemon Ranger by leaps and bounds. The first one felt like playing a heavily dated game at times, especially in how you had to do all the loops at once, making the game more of a matter of abusing Plusle/Minun to stop the enemies in their tracks. I still miss the "overkill captures" though. The bonuses sort of make up for it, but not really.

The partner system got a nice revamp, as did the ranking system. I hated how in the first Ranger, you got stuck with one partner that varies on your gender that's just an overglorified Pikachu clone (and they somehow did worse recently with Notch-Eared Pichu), and how you ranked up after every single mission. This game fixed that.

Speaking of the bonuses, I've mentioned it before, but it's annoying how you need to do it all in one line to get an S-Rank for a single Pokemon, but S-Ranks come in multi-battles easily. Not too big a deal, though, as all it affects is EXP.

Comments on the Let's Play itself? It was certainly an experience. A way to flex my creativity skills. I'm surprised at the amount of attention it got me; I was expecting maybe one or two to see it and praise it, but general consenseous says it was great. Which makes me feel good, knowing I entertained people with it. To be honest, it was actually just something I started on a whim when details about it were asked for. I could've easily just blazed through it, beaten it within a few days, got my Pokemon rewards (which, by the way, I STILL haven't transfered over), then never played it again like I did with the first one. But I didn't. I decided to see this through to the end, through each and every dialogue box I copied down, and I'm glad I did. IT WAS WORTH IT!!!

Ending at Part 150 was something, as I implied was intentionally forced, though I won't deny should've planned it out a little more. >_> It's a nice, round number, and fits into the Pokemon theme. The main game ending at Part 100 was something that was unintentional, though. I decided to put the ending after that part, because I was going to do more parts anyway. I could've ended at Part 151, but decided not to for whatever reason.

So yeah. Everything else I've pretty much covered already at some point, from my ridiculous nigh-overanalyzing of the plot and characters, to criticizing the intellgence of people, to making up wild humor in various forms. I don't know how I thought of some of it - it just came to me. It's as though the enjoyment I was getting out of doing this inspired me to think of some of the things I said.

That's it! It is now officially over! Good night folks! Maybe if a Ranger 3 is released, I'll do that too! Until then, peace out!

xparasite9 · 19th March 2009, 10:10 PM

I just want to thank you for writing this LP.
It was the most entertaining LP I've read. And I've read two LPs.
Keep up the good work. I hope to read more from you in the future.

Pikachu315111 · 20th March 2009, 06:58 PM

You complained about my summery being a wall and yet you wrote a whole essay... (could comment more on your essay, though I'd probably be making an essay sized response back so we'll just leave it at that).

If Giygas was a fetus, what would it have looked like it it was "born" then 0_o, I mean he (does Giygas have a gender?) was already human adult sized when Ness faced him, but since fetus's grow more then 20 time their size before it is born!

Here you're talking about legal ramifications about them being 15, but didn't in the Dragonair mission you make a suggestion to Ollie on "how to repay" Elaine?

About the knock out gas with Shaymin running off, I don't think it would work. Shaymin could use the gas to feed and use Seed Flare.

No character in town got their dialogue changed, if you talk to the people on the brigde they'll still sya their Murkrow got stolen by Team Dim Sun! It would have been a little helpful if they had them say they saw a "walking hedge" going in a certain direction for at least some of them.

I got a question about the Oil Feild Hide ut Miniremos: Shouldn't the Pokemon Ranger's go and investigate the Oil Field Hideout and find/destroy the Miniremo's that are there? You're told about this dozens of times, but it's like you don't report it in meaning ANYONE can go in and use it to take control of Pokemon (even Pokemon Rangers if they wanted to).

And last but not least... WHY IS SHAYMIN NOT TRANSFERRABLE! Riolu was and it was tougher to catch! Darkrai was and it was the main boss of the main story and also a Legendary you needed to get from a special event. What makes Shaymin any different?

All in all, nice playthrough, and hopefully a new Pokemon Ranger will be made during Generation V (even though no Pokemon has appeared for it oddly, hopefully in the 12th movie).

The Outrage · 20th March 2009, 07:00 PM

Originally Posted by Pikachu315111

You complained about my summery being a wall and yet you wrote a whole essay... (could comment more on your essay, though I'd probably be making an essay sized response back so we'll just leave it at that).

You said you were going to be brief, everyone knows System Error is going to do a long comedy thing.

Originally Posted by Pikachu315111

I got a question about the Oil Feild Hide ut Miniremos: Shouldn't the Pokemon Ranger's go and investigate the Oil Field Hideout and find/destroy the Miniremo's that are there? You're told about this dozens of times, but it's like you don't report it in meaning ANYONE can go in and use it to take control of Pokemon (even Pokemon Rangers if they wanted to)

Because they are dumb. I mean you'd think they'd do it the first time the rangers took siege of the hideout, but they didn't. Then you'd think they'd do it when they realised that the Luminous Crystal didn't purify the Shadow crystal shards underwater--especially when the main character went there to save Riolu, and when they sent a second top ranger for back up. Then, you'd think they'd do it again when Team Debonair attacked the Tower of Peace, but apparantly not.