A man had to have his finger amputated after an accident. He asked his doctor, "Will I be able to play the violin?"
"Yes, probably," the doctor replied.
"Good, 'cause I couldn't before."
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." (Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada)
The police suspect a cereal killer.
Recorded by: Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers
Written by: Wayne Chaulk
There are two good reasons why you should stand up
And scream and shout for more
You want to hear just one more song
Before you head to the door
The other reason is more profound
We hope we don't sound crass
You want to stand and tug them away
Cause your pants are stuck to your ass!
A truck carrying a load of Roget's Thesaurus overturned on the highway yesterday. The newspaper reported that onlookers were astounded, bewildered, dumbfounded, overwhelmed, shocked, and startled.