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my favorite humorous items

  1. actual announcements from church bulletins

    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

    Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

    The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

    The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

    The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric ...

    Updated 25th July 2009 at 08:51 AM by Geodude

    my favorite humorous items
  2. a letter from home

    Deer Son,

    I am writing this slow because I know you can't read too fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your Dad read in the paper that most car accidents happened within twenty mile of home, so we moved. I can't send you the address as the last family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so they wouldn't have to change their address.

    This place has a washing machine, but the first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and ...
  3. wrong e-mail address

    A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally ...
  4. funny newspaper headlines

    * 5th-Graders Get to Grill Lions (Detroit Free Press, Friday Jan 27, 2006)
    * Autos killing 110 a Day; Let's Resolve to do Better
    * Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad she Hasn't Seen in Years
    * British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
    * Child's Death Ruins Couple's Holiday
    * Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden
    * Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    * Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing
    * Dealers will Hear Car ...
  5. Three men walk into a public washroom...

    Three men walk into a public washroom, stand at three different urinals, unzip, and start to pee. The first man finishes up and announces for the other two to hear, "I'm from Saskatchewan eh, and everyone in Saskatchewan knows that when you're done using a public washroom, you have to wash your hands." So he goes over to the sink and starts to wash his hands.

    The second man finishes up and says, "I'm from Quebec eh, and the public education level in Quebec is even higher, so everyone ...
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