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Buy a PC! Consoles are going extinct!

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Since this is the internet and someone is bound to take this seriously, I'm putting this here to remind you this is a joke. Enjoy.

Stop what you're doing! The future of gaming has never been clearer. PC gaming is out shining both the XBox and PS4 in every possible way, despite both of these consoles barely being out. We all knew this was coming but it's time to declare it...consoles are going extinct due to the wonder of PC.
Just look at the facts. Consoles are insignificant toasters that barely play games while the computer is a magnificent machina. Just ask a dedicated player of one of these slices of perfection. Perfect frame rate 24/7 no matter the game, compatibility with any controller since keyboards are superior, and everyone's favorite: mods that completely justify paying hundreds more for a game platform.
Speaking of price, the only reason people buy consoles over a PC is the small $500 price difference. But, quite honestly, however, as the glorious PC gaming master race puts it, anyone who can't cough up the extra money is just some lowly twelve-year old casual who doesn't even appreciate gaming. They don't deserve to play games. Only the upper class of PC gamers do. They can stick to the filthy freemiums on smart phones.
Unfortunately, some of the console players don't seem to understand that consoles are over. They argue that they have exclusives that keep them going. But that's just silly. All you need is Steam. Who needs lame exclusives like Mario Kart, GTA, and Last of Us when you can have the flawless Valve games? Those of which you can pick up at a Steam Sale!
So everyone, the time to buy a PC is now! Become the true gamer! The beginning of the era of PC supremacy is beginning.

But in all seriousness, forget the "master race," forget the console wars, because this is how buying a game platform tends to go nowadays:
1) Start off with a family-friendly Nintendo console as a child.
2) Get a PS/XBox as a teenager and maybe a Nintendo console for exclusives.
3) Get a PC sometime later on when you're older when you have the money. Maybe pick up a console for exclusives.

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Comments

  1. Rainbow's Avatar
    It's also a well known fact that you can't own both consoles and a PC. Absolutely blasphemous, and the PC master race will want no part of you!
  2. Bolt the Cat's Avatar
    PCs tend to be a niche because they're more expensive. As long as consoles remain the cheapest option to play high quality games, they'll remain in business.

    And while exclusives do help, bigger differences like cost, usability, and features tend to overshadow the significance of exclusives (especially when the competition has exclusives of their own). If all gaming devices (consoles, PCs, mobile devices) could play the same kind of games, then people are going to move away from consoles because there's simply less you can do with them. PCs, smartphones, and tablets are all mobile, and have more apps beyond games which increase their value, so that kind of limits the appeal of consoles. Not that this is much of a problem now because most mobile games are crappy low budget time wasters, but 10-20 years from now, I wouldn't be surprised if consoles went extinct.
    Updated 31st December 2013 at 03:16 AM by Bolt the Cat
  3. Helioptile's Avatar
    Screw Steam, real PC mastergamers use Kongregate.
  4. Ranger Jack Walker's Avatar
    The real truth is that consoles are slowly becoming PCs (because tey're no longer just gaming devices) and PCs are becoming more like consoles (Steambox is just a stepping stone).

    In time, the distinction between them will be too tiny to matter.

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