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Karamazov

I am your big brother

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That's right. I am now your big brother. If someone's being mean to you at school, I'll push them in the mud. If want to learn about girls, come see me. If you want to pull one over mom and dad, I can help.

But usually I'll just make you punch yourself and give you wedgies. Now line up for swirlies.

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  1. HumanDawn's Avatar
    Best. Birthday. Present. EVER!!!@!@! <333

    I'd totally take you as my big brother :)
  2. Sunburn's Avatar
    Can I have some help with my Algebra homework? I can't figure out if the x is a variable or the sign for multiplication D:
  3. Meow Wow's Avatar
    I've always wanted an older sibling!
  4. HumanDawn's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Sunburn
    Can I have some help with my Algebra homework? I can't figure out if the x is a variable or the sign for multiplication D:
    oh yeah

    karamazov could you do my homework too?

    i won't expose your deepest secrets if you do :3
  5. $aturn¥oshi's Avatar
    But you are younger than me...
  6. Karamazov's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Human
    Best. Birthday. Present. EVER!!!@!@! <333

    I'd totally take you as my big brother :)
    It's OUR birthday now, bro.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunburn
    Can I have some help with my Algebra homework? I can't figure out if the x is a variable or the sign for multiplication D:
    Okay, here's what you do:
    Give me your money
    10 minutes before class, copy the work off of someone else. Preferably a nerd.
    And voila, homework is done.

    Quote Originally Posted by $aturn¥oshi
    But you are younger than me...
    Rory's dad has a grandson who's older than him. I fail to see your point.
  7. Baron Dante's Avatar
    Big bro, how do girls work?
  8. Jack Pschitt's Avatar
    I don't want to be tortured by an older brother like my little brother is tortured by me. ;_;
  9. Mijzelffan's Avatar
    But usually I'll just make you punch yourself and give you wedgies. Now line up for swirlies.
    Ok, clearly your only experience from being a big brother comes from pop culture. I'm sorry, but we'd rather have someone with more experience for the job. Come back after you've had multiple years of actual experience as an older brother.
  10. Jack Pschitt's Avatar
    Yeah, Mizzy is right. I barely ever give my brother wedgies. I usually prefer straight kicks in the nuts.
  11. H-con's Avatar
    After growing up with two sisters, there's really not much you can do that will phase me the slightest...
  12. Ghetsis-Dennis's Avatar
    What is this, 1984? Big brothers act like they're above the law and us little brothers never have the chance to stand up to ourselves.
  13. Karamazov's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Baron Dante
    Big bro, how do girls work?
    Girls are like vending machines: give them niceness and sex will come out. If you're nice and they still don't feel any sort affection towards you beyond friendship, go on 9Gag and make macros about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mijzelffan
    Ok, clearly your only experience from being a big brother comes from pop culture. I'm sorry, but we'd rather have someone with more experience for the job. Come back after you've had multiple years of actual experience as an older brother.
    I actually am an older brother IRL, for about 9 or 10 years. But I can't be as mean to my sister as I want to because she has a few self esteem issues, and I want to help her with those before I pick on her.
  14. Lugion's Avatar
    Batman doesn't have a brother.
  15. Karamazov's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Lugion
    Batman doesn't have a brother.
    He used to.
  16. Ranger Jack Walker's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Karamazov
    Girls are like vending machines: give them niceness and sex will come out. If you're nice and they still don't feel any sort affection towards you beyond friendship, go on 9Gag and make macros about it.
    But isn't 9Gag the devil?
  17. TheMissingno.'s Avatar
    Tell me about girls, big brother Karamazov!
  18. Karamazov's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Ranger Jack Walker
    But isn't 9Gag the devil?
    *trollface* *foreveralone face*

    Quote Originally Posted by TheMissingno.
    Tell me about girls, big brother Karamazov!
    Girls are like guys, except they don't have penises. Unless they do, for whatever reasons that I can't adequately explore, since sex and sexuality has many facets. So girls are nothing like guys, unless they are for reasons.
  19. Pain Split's Avatar
    So, brother, wanna go trap Mom and Dad?

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