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# Karamazov

#### I am your big brother

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by , 9th November 2012 at 02:44 PM (588 Views)
That's right. I am now your big brother. If someone's being mean to you at school, I'll push them in the mud. If want to learn about girls, come see me. If you want to pull one over mom and dad, I can help.

But usually I'll just make you punch yourself and give you wedgies. Now line up for swirlies.

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Best. Birthday. Present. EVER!!!@!@! <333

I'd totally take you as my big brother :)
Can I have some help with my Algebra homework? I can't figure out if the x is a variable or the sign for multiplication D:
I've always wanted an older sibling!
Originally Posted by Sunburn
Can I have some help with my Algebra homework? I can't figure out if the x is a variable or the sign for multiplication D:
oh yeah

karamazov could you do my homework too?

i won't expose your deepest secrets if you do :3
But you are younger than me...
Originally Posted by Human
Best. Birthday. Present. EVER!!!@!@! <333

I'd totally take you as my big brother :)
It's OUR birthday now, bro.

Originally Posted by Sunburn
Can I have some help with my Algebra homework? I can't figure out if the x is a variable or the sign for multiplication D:
Okay, here's what you do:
10 minutes before class, copy the work off of someone else. Preferably a nerd.
And voila, homework is done.

Originally Posted by \$aturn¥oshi
But you are younger than me...
Rory's dad has a grandson who's older than him. I fail to see your point.
Big bro, how do girls work?
I don't want to be tortured by an older brother like my little brother is tortured by me. ;_;
But usually I'll just make you punch yourself and give you wedgies. Now line up for swirlies.
Ok, clearly your only experience from being a big brother comes from pop culture. I'm sorry, but we'd rather have someone with more experience for the job. Come back after you've had multiple years of actual experience as an older brother.
Yeah, Mizzy is right. I barely ever give my brother wedgies. I usually prefer straight kicks in the nuts.
After growing up with two sisters, there's really not much you can do that will phase me the slightest...
What is this, 1984? Big brothers act like they're above the law and us little brothers never have the chance to stand up to ourselves.
Originally Posted by Baron Dante
Big bro, how do girls work?
Girls are like vending machines: give them niceness and sex will come out. If you're nice and they still don't feel any sort affection towards you beyond friendship, go on 9Gag and make macros about it.

Originally Posted by Mijzelffan
Ok, clearly your only experience from being a big brother comes from pop culture. I'm sorry, but we'd rather have someone with more experience for the job. Come back after you've had multiple years of actual experience as an older brother.
I actually am an older brother IRL, for about 9 or 10 years. But I can't be as mean to my sister as I want to because she has a few self esteem issues, and I want to help her with those before I pick on her.
Batman doesn't have a brother.
Originally Posted by Lugion
Batman doesn't have a brother.
He used to.
Originally Posted by Karamazov
Girls are like vending machines: give them niceness and sex will come out. If you're nice and they still don't feel any sort affection towards you beyond friendship, go on 9Gag and make macros about it.
But isn't 9Gag the devil?
Tell me about girls, big brother Karamazov!
Originally Posted by Ranger Jack Walker
But isn't 9Gag the devil?
*trollface* *foreveralone face*

Originally Posted by TheMissingno.
Tell me about girls, big brother Karamazov!
Girls are like guys, except they don't have penises. Unless they do, for whatever reasons that I can't adequately explore, since sex and sexuality has many facets. So girls are nothing like guys, unless they are for reasons.
So, brother, wanna go trap Mom and Dad?