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Oranges of Speciousness

Top Ten Pokemon (Bovine Swimsuit Edition)

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It seems to be the style at the moment to post Top Ten lists of Pokemon. So, because you've all been waiting for it, here's mine. These are the Pokemon I enjoy using the most.

Disclaimer 1: My opinion on what constitutes a "good Pokemon" is subject to extreme and arbitrary biases such as "it's super-pretty", "it's based on an adorable and/or badass animal" and "it gets this one move that makes a cool noise." This list does not even come close to reflecting mainstream opinions on the relative qualities of Pokemon. Any statements regarding the metagame are simply my own impresions of a hugely complex maelstrom in which I generally do not partake.

Disclaimer 2: Despite the above, this list is absolutely, objectively correct. These are the best Pokemon. I am right and everyone else is wrong.


Number ten:


Numero neuf:


Nummer Acht:


Numero sette:


Nomer shest:


Número cinco:


Númer fjögur:


Noumero tria:


Ithnaan:


Rhif un:


A few honorable mentions: Nidoqueen, Ninetales, Kangaskhan, all of the Eevees except Jolteon, Cyndaquil, Skitty, Spinda, Lileep, Milotic, Banette, Absol, Shinx, Roserade, Lopunny, Snivy, Scolipede, Joltik, Stunfisk and Mandibuzz. My favorite legendary is Mew, which has never been bested. My favorite pseudo-legendary is Salamence, mostly because J owned one in the anime, and J makes Pokemon look awesome just by standing near them.

To those of you who have read this far, it will probably be evident that my main criterion for choosing Pokemon is how they look. And this might seem like a shallow approach, but the thing that has always drawn me to the games is the quality of the creature designs... so really, why wouldn't I judge Pokemon based on those merits? I also have an admitted fondness for weaker Pokemon, both in-game and outside of it. This probably got started after I realized just how many of my existing favorites were weaklings, and decided to embrace it. Because it's exciting to take on the Elite Four with a battle-scarred Meganium and a lump of happy pink coral. It's awesome when bigger, meaner-looking Pokemon are getting smacked around by an energetic cow. And it's fun rooting for the underdog.

And in the end, isn't fun the reason we're all here? The games give us an enormous selection of Pokemon to choose from and share our adventure with. And we choose the Pokemon that make it the most fun for us. Some people like specific types, and others study stats to make their decisions. Me, I like pretty Pokemon. But they're all just different paths to achieving the same thing: awesome fun times with Pokemon. I'm not and never will be any good in the competitive scene: even in the low tiers I'm way too attached to my favorites to master the metagame. But it's okay, because it's fun.

And as long as you're having fun, you're doing it right.

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Comments

  1. Yadon's Avatar
    (yep, coral is an animal, strange as it seems).
    O_O Educational!

    Also, Mawile is awesome. One of my most favourite pokemon ever. It's one of the reasons I chose Ruby over Sapphire. I'm hoping they add Mawile into BW2, but I doubt they will :(
  2. Oswin's Avatar
    This just makes me realise how much I miss your Origin of Species articles ;A;
  3. Mijzelffan's Avatar
    I gotta say I fully agree with the stuff you said about Gallade.
  4. -Yamirami-'s Avatar
    I don't understand the Gallade hate.

    Look at it jiggle!
    Giggity.
  5. Bikini Miltank's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Neosquid
    I don't understand the Gallade hate.
    It's mostly the hips, I think. He looks like he swallowed a frisbee a while ago and it's sort of worked its way down there over time.
  6. Baron Brixius's Avatar
    The hips, the helmet, the elbow blades - feels as though less than 5 minutes were spent on designing it.
  7. rubinek's Avatar
    Great read! While I can't say I share any of your favourites (I'm more of a quirky/derpy/amphibian design fan), I really enjoyed reading the reasoning behind your choices, which in turn made me appreciate the Pokemon a little more. ^^
  8. UnovaCastaway's Avatar
    I agree with you about Chikorita. It was the first Pokemon I ever had, because Silver was my first game. When I got back into Pokemon after 10 years by playing HeartGold, I picked it again.

    It's one of the cutest starters out there.
  9. Karamazov's Avatar
    Corsola's so damn cute. I remember being so proud that I caught one before Misty did.
  10. MAGNEDETH's Avatar
    hahahahaha
  11. TheCapsFan's Avatar
    Late on this, but liked for the Chikorita. c:

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