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Thoughts of that guy

Somebody please explain this behavior to me.

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by , 12th January 2014 at 08:46 PM (618 Views)
Girl (or guy, but I mostly see girls do it) posts vague status on social media site about something terrible happening.

"I hate this right now..."

Friends, out of sympathy, try to console person.

"What's the matter, dearest friend?"

Person responds:

"I don't want to talk about it..."

>_>

Okay.... question time... if you didn't want to talk about it, why did you bring it up in the first place??? That's like me running up to you and saying

"Hey, wanna hear an awesome story!"

"Yeah, I sure do!"

"Never-mind, I don't want to tell you anymore."

This irritates me a lot. Why do people do this? Is it just for the attention?

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  1. Autumnbreeze's Avatar
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    They just want somebody to feel bad for them without having to talk about it. Haha, it annoys me too. Like, if they talk about it, then they have to 'feel better', so they don't tell anyone about it so that sympathy sticks around. They want people to be interested in their lives. *shrugs*
    Team Gaara, Murkmire and Mako like this.
  2. Oaky's Avatar
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    I think it has to be for the attention. Or to air the thought out a little bit...but in the latter case, they more than likely aren't taking into consideration that it'll rouse concern from those who see it. Alas, who knows. Humans behave so strangely these days it's hard to know.
  3. Scarlet Sky's Avatar
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    I hate when people do this too. :/
    Leggo and Team Gaara like this.
  4. Zeems's Avatar
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    I do it sometimes, and I usually do it to make people aware that I'm not feeling okay at the time.

    Also take into consideration that she could possibly be uncomfortable with talking about it or doesn't know how to put it into words.
    Leggo likes this.
  5. Xita's Avatar
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    Sometimes people just want to vent, but without going into specifics?
  6. Team Gaara's Avatar
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    I hate it, too. I see it as purely as seeking attention and sympathy. Like, seriously, if you didn't want people to ask you about this completely ambiguous thing, it makes no sense to even make said completely ambiguous thing apparent to people except for the fact that you just want people out there to feel sorry and worry about you.

    There could be other reasons, but this is just mainly what I see. Teenage girls just really like sympathy these days. And I say that because I rarely see this in males.
  7. GastonGibus's Avatar
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    @Zima I still think there's ways to do that without being needlessly vague. You can still say why you're sad/mad/whatever without going into specifics. Like, "I had a crappy day at work" or "I'm having issues with this person." But just saying "I'm sad" and then saying "I don't want to talk about it" is just stupid. If you didn't want to talk about it, you shouldn't have said anything at all.
  8. LilyStorm's Avatar
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    Things like this is why I don't have social media.
    L.L. and Jenneta like this.
  9. L.L.'s Avatar
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    Everyone's already said it: they want attention.
    I'd say the best way to deal with this other than ignoring them is to say, "You had a bad day? So did I." And when they ask what's the matter say you don't want to talk about it.
    Scarlet Sky and Akinai like this.
  10. The Outrage's Avatar
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    Okay, so they want attention. They want to know people are concerned, but may not feel comfortable in talking about their problems right now, but may appreciate that when they express some sort of concern, that someone is there.

    What's the problem with you trying to console them and their not wanting to talk about it? From a time management perspective, you've already stated your concern, but now you're not spending that much more time on it. But let's be a bit less robotic here. You compared this to someone saying "Want to hear an awesome story?" and then denying you the right to hear it. Suddenly your concern seems false and simply want to get enthralled in another person's drama. If you're concerned, then understand that sometimes people don't want to talk about their problems, but also want to know people care.

    I presume this is on some social media platform, right? Well in real life, if you're sad, your face can show it. Your body can show it. If you ask a person if something is upsetting them in that situation and they say they don't want to talk about it, it doesn't mean they don't appreciate that you approached them and I doubt you'd be on a blog bitching about how you were denied this "awesome story". Maybe the person is feeling upset and isolated, and the only way they can connect with their friends at the moment is through social media. They want to know people are concerned without airing their dirty laundry. Let them. It takes absolutely no effort to send that "Are you okay?" message, and even less effort when they don't want to talk about it. What does take effort is bitching about how you didn't get to invest in someone else's drama.

    If you're their friend, expressing your concern doesn't give you an all-access pass on their life story. Their not sharing their story doesn't hurt you, but your expressing your concern may make them feel better.

    So I guess my question is: why are people so upset about this?

    Are you upset because you were denied an interesting story? Or do you just have so much "feels" to give at this moment that their saying "I don't want to talk about it" has suddenly gotten you backed up on "feels" you need to express? Do you feel as if you wasted your time having written that short sentence, and not having to spend even more time trying to console them? Or have you just gotten so invested in their sadness that you need a resolution as well?
    Froakie and Xita like this.
    Updated 13th January 2014 at 03:41 AM by The Outrage
  11. Froakie's Avatar
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    Erm I guess I'm one of the only ones with this view here, but imo. if they want attention... who cares? Why is wanting some attention seen as a bad thing to get annoyed over? Most people want people to be aware of how they're feeling, and I don't think that makes them stupid or whatever. There's nothing wrong with venting how you're feeling but not wanting to go into specifics - and if you force or expect some extravagant amount of detail over somebody's emotion then that doesn't make them the unreasonable one. Social media and society are so adverse to any negative emotions because everyone is expected to be so happy! And the moment you actually experience negative or actually, realistic, emotion people don't know how to deal with that and think you're being whiny/attention seeking.

    Sometimes I say I'm feeling sad but don't go into details - why should I? I may feel uncomfortable doing so, but I'd rather have some positive words from other people because if I'm feeling bad I want to feel better and I'd rather not wallow in my own self pity because I'm not very good at that and I won't feel better. To think someone out there cares for you or that you're feeling this way does a whole lot of good to make you feel better, and there is nothing wrong with that. :l
    The Outrage and Life like this.
  12. Froakie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GastlyGibus
    @Zima I still think there's ways to do that without being needlessly vague. You can still say why you're sad/mad/whatever without going into specifics. Like, "I had a crappy day at work" or "I'm having issues with this person." But just saying "I'm sad" and then saying "I don't want to talk about it" is just stupid. If you didn't want to talk about it, you shouldn't have said anything at all.
    Some people don't need a tangible reason to be sad - a lot of people are just sad because they are with no explanation. They can't help that either. So saying 'I'm sad' is a completely reasonable response and expecting completely pointless details from somebody when they might feel it's too private to tell you is just unnecessary and unfair on them because there is nothing wrong with being upset.

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