Two Years? New Year, Please.
by, 1st January 2013 at 04:19 PM (201 Views)
Tried to write a New Year's post. This is my third attempt. Turns out, there's just not a lot to say about how glad I am that 2012 is over, except that I'm looking forward to a new chapter.
In the last two years, I got my first job, moved out into my own place, got married, got divorced, lost some friends and found the love of my life.
It's been a tiring, elating, heartbreaking, overwhelmingly long process to get to where I am now. Am I glad of it? Yes. Are things perfect? No. There will always be this stressful, beat-me-down job until I find another one. There will always be the 10-year friendship with my ex husband that has been eviscerated. (There really is no other word for it.) I don't have any friends that are like me, they being all males who are far more into gaming than I could ever be. I will always feel lost without a ring on my finger, what has become my anchor to believing myself to be worthy (a problem in and of itself, I admit.)
In the end, though, I have so many things. I have a family that is wonderfully normal, and they are proud of me for all I've accomplished. I have friends that, while we don't have a lot in common anymore, are always there for me if I am in need. I have a mother and father who would give up anything to ensure that I am happy. And I've finally found a love where I'm absolutely, completely comfortable with myself and what we are, where he gives me everything I need and is happy with what I give back.
Last but not least, I have employment and a roof over my head, food to eat, and a smiling face to come home to at night.
All in all, my hopes for this year center around one thing: self-improvement, self-realization, and growing into myself in the right ways.
That's something I can toast to.
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