what did i just type

so I'm sorta doing a cleanup and I'm gonna delete all my stupid entries, and sadly that means a majority of my blog, because I do not want someone digging them back up or using them against me or something but I don't actually know how to delete them I'm sorry I'm not that good with computers and stuff, I mean just look at my profile pic wow what amazing photoshop skillz I have plus I only recently learned the difference between "pixels" and "8-bit" wow I feel stupid. so yeah I'll just basically edit them out and put "you wouldn't want to read this anyways, it's stupid" and you don't have to say "no you're not stupid" just to make me feel better that won't work. I have low self-esteem, I actually thought it was at rock bottom already but it can go as low as negative infinity, that's what high school taught me. So yeah basically don't use my old blog entries against me, don't dig them back up, don't read them, and just so you won't be tempted to do it, I'm deleting them or just editing them all out.

EDIT: just so you know I already started editing them out, I don't know I feel weird doing it but it's too late to go back, I can't retrieve the original anymore. Oh wait some of the ones I edited have comments on them so it won't make sense oh wow I should have thought this through I am stupid... I don't know I just feel weird because my blog has a lot of rants and stupid stuff and I wanted to like erase them because seriously I do not want someone digging them back up but I don't know you know I think I should have just studied and stayed off the forums so this would have never happened...

I dread having to study for Filipino, we've got Ibong Adarna. One of my classmates was all "how high was the guy when he wrote this" and you know sadly, I agree, the more it progresses the less and less it makes sense.

Basically a short summary of the story is there is a kingdom named Berbanya, the king there is Don Fernando, the queen is Donya Valeriana and they have three sons; Don Pedro, Don Diego and Don Juan (in order by age from eldest to youngest) one day the king got sick and the only cure is the song from a bird called the Ibong Adarna and I think it's a phoenix in English but I'm not sure. So Don Pedro went first because he's the eldest, he took a horse and it took him three months to get there he was sleepy and he fell asleep under the tree where the Ibong Adarna was roosting, it pooped on him and he turned to stone; long story short Don Juan rescued both his brothers but they got jealous of him and attacked him and blah blah blah he eventually made it home and the Ibong Adarna sang a song and the lyrics were what happened to Don Juan so his father found out the truth but Don Juan forgave his brothers blah blah. Long story short his brothers released the Ibong Adarna and blamed Don Juan for revenge so Don Juan ran away to the mountains in shame, his brother followed and they ran away together what. Don Juan was just all "oh you wanna run away with me ok sure we can live in the mountains together I won't mind at all" then they found a well.

Long story short, Don Juan went down the well and slew a giant and a seven headed serpent and found two princesses but when he was climbing back up his brothers cut the rope and he fell down the well. Long story short again he recovered but instead of returning home to Berbanya he decided to go in the opposite direction and look for the kingdom De Los Kristales what he walked for THREE YEARS then found an old hermit. The hermit gave him bread and water and a piece of a cloak and told him to look for his brother? what then when he showed the piece of the cloak the hermit was all "oMG where did you get this it's from the cloak of Jesus" and then he told him to look for his other brother? and gave him an olikornyo which is bascially a goat with one horn my classmate was all "what the heck an olikornyo it sounds like a pulubi unicorn" to ride and it brought him to this other hermit who was friends with birds, he whistled and all the birds assembled but one was late and he was mad.

Turns out the one who was late was a giant eagle and then Don Juan was all "so do you know how I can get to the kingdom De Los Kristales?" and the eagle was all "yeah sure bro I was just there, I just had breakfast there" and he rode the eagle. lol oh yeah I forgot to mention he was looking for the princess Maria Blanca who lives in De Los Kristales that's why he wanted to go there and then thE EAGLE BROUGHT HIM TO MARIA BLANCA'S BATHROOM what the heck eagle? and he watched her take a bath and he stole her clothes and made out with them what and Maria Blanca got angry and spent an hour looking for her clothes and he felt guilty and returned them and apologized then they fell in love and he asked her father to let him marry her what this seriously doesn't make sense

Long story short he had to do seven impossible tasks for Haring Salermo, Maria Blanca's father

1. get one stalk of wheat, bring it to the mountain, plant and cultivate it then turn it into bread and bring it back to the king for his breakfast and he had to do it overnight
2. The king had a jar with twelve Negros in it and they escaped then Don Juan was supposed to return them to the jar
3. he has to move a mountain to beside the king's window
4. the king changes his mind and wants the mountain in the ocean instead and he should build a castle on it, overnight
5. he decides he wants the mountain back beside his window
6. "oops I accidentally dropped my ring in the ocean Don Juan could you please get it"
7. "I have a wild horse and I need you to tame it" (this one doesn't really seem like an impossible task, tho)

and basically all the tasks require magic and Maria Blanca has magic so she did all the tasks not Don Juan and the sixth one was the creepiest; she asked him to chop her up and pour her into the sea and her body would turn into a school of fish? what and she would be able to find the ring
anyways in the end the king was all "ok fine you did all my impossible tasks I'll let you marry Maria Blanca if you choose correctly"
he had to choose a doorknob which had fingers on it? what
he chose correctly but the king lied and he still didn't get to marry Maria Blanca so they planned to run away
Maria Blanca was all "so I'm gonna pack stuff you go get our getaway horse, pick the seventh horse, it's the fastest"

bUT DON JUAN GOT THE EIGHT HORSE WHICH IS THE SLOWEST and I'm just like looool dude you messed up big time

so Maria Blanca's father chased them, he took the seventh horse and he was gaining on them, fast, but Maria Blanca dropped stuff on the ground and the obstacles slowed him down, he couldn't get passed the last one and he got really angry and really sad at the same time and cursed them then died of sadness

and you know what I'll just stop here if you want to know what happens at the end Don Juan and Maria Blanca get married oh yeah but I completely left out the part with Donya Leonora and Don Pedro and the love triangle thing which does seem a bit important to the story but whatevs who cares if you want to know more just use google Ibong Adarna and use google translate

seriously, tho, this story makes less and less sense the more and more it progresses
but it was written in the Spanish era to symbolize something I think I don't know I should probably stop typing now I think you regret clicking the spoiler and reading this in the first place I'm sorry for wasting your time with this story