I Survived the One Direction Movie!
by, 20th September 2013 at 05:39 PM (524 Views)
I made it through the One Erection movie!
Last night, my friends and I got through nearly two hours of brain bleach with Harry, Louis, Zayn, Niall, and Liam. We laughed at the whole thing. We didn't do it loudly enough, though. But we did give One Direction our middle fingers. We did get looks from a few annoying One Direction fangirls.
The laughing was funny. Frank nearly spewed all the food in his mouth at one of the dumbest lines.
It was so bad. The dialogue was so corny and laughable. The One Direction boys are trying to portray themselves as competent musicians, which they are not. They are terrible dancers and singers.
The movie sugarcoats One Direction and fails to mention that the boys are total assholes in real life - especially Zayn and Niall. They also don't mention the boys' lewd girlfriends (even covering up Zayn and Miss-I-have-a-bloody-boys-name Perrie Edwards' engagement). One Direction is turned into a bunch of Mary Sues. Boo. And they even forget to mention that Zayn Malik is not only a Muslim, but a really bad one.
Can you believe Morgan Spurlock did this movie? He did such a good job with Super Size Me and then he did THIS? BARF.
So, don't be an idiot like me and don't bother with this movie unless you really want to make fun of One Direction like me. And my message to One Direction is this:
ONE DIRECTION SUCKS.
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