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Watch Where You Step

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This afternoon one of my good friends who's a freshman in college stopped by to say hi and to catch up. I pulled into my driveway after getting my hair cut and he was standing outside talking to my parents. When he saw me we all walked back inside and really started to chat. But no conversation is complete without his mother, so before we knew it she stopped by with her daughter (a friend of my sisters) to return a dish she borrowed from my mum, conveniently bumping into her son. Little did he or I know, but my mum had offered a few hours of our time to a local store owner in town, to help him move around some furniture. I wasn't so keen on moving furniture but $10 an hour isn't anything to scoff at, especially for a broke high school student about to become a broke college student.

The town I live in dates back to the late 1700s and is full of old, historic houses. Some of the houses even have steps in their front yards which were used to step into horse-drawn carriages in the past. My friend and I walked to the center of town and met the main street which was surprisingly packed for a Friday afternoon. We turned the corner and walked down another populated street until we found a glass door, with "Forest Antiques" labeled on the front. We pushed open the door slowly and walked inside. It was poorly lit and had an intense musky smell. We walked up the broad stairs to the second floor and shouted "hello?"

A small voice answered. "Allo? Allo who's there?" A small man leaned over the railing and his combover folded on itself. "Oh, Beck, is it?" the man asked. I nodded and my friend began to chuckle behind my back. The man walked to the top of the stairs. "Good, good, I talked to your mother!" The man was the owner of the store.

To our surprise, the owner of the antique store looked identical to Ken Joeng, who played Mr. Chow in The Hangover. He walked like him, talked like him, and had fucking sass like him. It was scary how much the store owner and Mr. Chow had in common. The pink sweater vest the owner was wearing didn't help his case anymore either.



Once we reached the top of the flight of stairs the owner motioned us toward a door to the left of the stairs. We walked in reluctantly and the whole building opened up. It was well lit and enormous. Like nothing I have ever seen. Apparently the building was built by students from the Yale Forestry unit back in the mid-1800s. Wow.

We all walked through the door. "Yes, yes, this is it, this is it," said the owner, his voice as sassy as ever. "Very nice." To our left an empty box fell to the ground and behind it a small man appeared. He looked identical to Carl from the Disney Pixar movie Up. He grunted, whispered something under his breath, and walked quickly behind the store owner, then stared back at us.



I felt like I was in a fucking movie. Two characters, my friend and I looked out to a room full of thousands upon thousands of pieces of furniture and other fragile antiques, items dating back to the late 1700s. Our job was simple. We had to help the owner reorganize the furniture to prevent the antique shop from getting "stale." I'm not very good with decorating but I think a "stale antique shop" is a tad redundant. Oh well, I was getting paid. As my friend and I further emerged ourselves in the maze of smelly wood and glass we got more and more lost. We had to move furniture left and right and up and down. Mr. "Sass" was ordering us in every direction, as if he was in a McDonald's drive-through. It was miserable watching out for every little thing. If we bumped into something he would shout and clap his hands in angst, then pace. The most fearful moment of the whole experience was when we had to move a small table with over $5000 in knick knacks on top through a maze full of glass. Talk about fucking stressful. Yikes.

To say the least my afternoon was far from normal. And I have to go back tomorrow at 10:30 AM. Shit.

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Comments

  1. AlexTheRose's Avatar
    That's funny. What a coincidence! :P
  2. Beck's Avatar
    Such a coincidence, it sure blew my mind!
  3. Lugion's Avatar
    It could be worse. You could be a bull.

    In an antique shop.

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