Mr. Garvey In Ponyville. (Based off the Key and Peele sketch, Substitute Teacher)
by, 25th September 2013 at 09:58 PM (889 Views)
Mr. Garvey: All right, listen up y’all. I’m your substitute teacher Mr. Garvey. I taught school for 20 years in Canterlot. So don’t even think about messing with me. You all feel me? Okay, let’s take roll here. Sweet-Tie Bell-Lee. Where’s Sweet-Tie Bell-Lee at? No Sweet-Tie Bell-Lee here? Yeah?
Sweetie Belle: Uh, do you mean, Sweetie Belle?
Mr. Garvey: Okay, so that’s how it’s gonna be. Y'all want to play. Okay then; I got my eye on you Sweet-Tie Bell-Lee. App-Pell Blue-Ohm. where is App-Pell Blue-Ohm at? No, App-Pell Blue-Ohm here today? Yes?
Apple Bloom: My name is Apple Bloom.
Mr. Garvey: (Looks at billboard)...Are you out of your Celestia-dang mind? Apple Bloom. What? Do you want to go to war App-Pell Blue-Ohm?
Apple Bloom: No?
Mr. Garvey: Because we could go to war.
Apple Bloom: No.
Mr. Garvey: I’m for real. I’m for real…so you better check yourself. Scot-Tay-Low, is there a Scot-Tay-Low? If one of y’all says some silly butt name, this whole class is gonna feel my wrath. Now Scot-Tay-Low?
Scootaloo: Do you mean Scootaloo?
Mr. Garvey: Son of a GUN! (breaks billboard in half) You say your name right, right now!
Mr. Garvey: Say it right.
Mr. Garvey: Correctly
Mr. Garvey: Right.
Mr. Garvey: Right.
Mr. Garvey: That’s better. Thank you.
Scootaloo: (frustrated sigh)
Mr. Garvey: Now Die-Eay-Mund Tee-Eay-Rah, where are you, where is a Die-Eay-Mund Tee-Eay-Rah right now, no Die-Eay-Mund Tee-Eay-Rah huh? Oh, you better be sick, dead or mute, Die-Eay-Mund Tee-Eay-Rah.
Diamond Tiara: Here. Oh man.
Mr. Garvey: Why didn’t you answer me the first time I said?
Diamond Tiara: Huh?
Mr. Garvey: I’m just asking, I said it like four times, so why didn’t you say it the first time I said Die-Eay-Mund Tee-Eay-Rah?
Diamond Tiara:…Because it’s pronounced Diamond Tiara?
Mr. Garvey: Son of a BAAAH!! (Slides all of the papers and books off of the desk) You done messed up Die-Eay-Mund Tee-Eay-Rah!! Now take your butt on down to Che-Riley’s office right now, and tell him exactly what you did!!
Diamond Tiara: Who?
Mr. Garvey: Che-Riley!!
Diamond Tiara: Ms. Cheerilee?
Mr. Garvey: Get out of my Celestia dang classroom before I break my hoof up in your butt! (Diamond Tiara runs out the door) Insubordinate...and churlish! Tim-mothy?
Mr. Garvey: Thank you!
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