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Squeaky the sixth

The forth experiment

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by , 21st August 2013 at 02:53 PM (197 Views)
Want to read something total unbelivable, I'm going to actually use this blog to help my writing, it' orginal intention. I missed an s on it's but never mind about that. So I went and wrote a bit more for my strong, well accually it's just a very opening, since I have decided to start afresh, my previous attempt becoming far too convolooted, misspelling is intentional. Is that this blog's favourite word, misspelling? Might as well be. Anyhow I have sumbled upon something of well trapping I guess. See it comes whenever I try to describe the protagonist I fall into a pitfall. I'm fine with describing her but there is, as you now know, a problem. She isn't human.
As you know from the last post the world has many none, no non human species about and they, no their, exsitance is widly known. Now the main character is part of a species, or race or whatever but I prefer species because, I just do roll with it people. Now her species is, wait for it (ohdearsweetjesusbabygod) call IIs.
Look, look people I can justifie this a bit, mkay? Don't usually type that but whatever. See this whole book thing first standard when I was around, 11, 12. When I wrote an aroudn 128 page piece of high fantasy convolted bullshit. I cringe to think of it. I do believe that I have gotten much better now, much, much, much, much skaven skaven skaven better. But somethings, no waith one thing survied from than burnable mess. The characters. Sure they've changed, but they are ultimatly still there. Everything else? Gone, hopefully forever. Well maye there is some other stuff that has made it over, but I can't think of it right now. So Meme, the character, was part of a species call IIs. No idea why I called them than, 11, 12 me at time ok? Now I need a better name, let's roll some off now.
God fucking dammit. No I won't go to bed. I'm sticking to times here people. I want I blog like this uploaded everyday. Now I'll go down staries when this down, alright?
Ahem *cough* shift 8 cough shift 8 so lets roll these names.
I have no idea, gee what an amazing start.
Well how about I describe them. Trouble is I don't think they're like anyother fantasy race and wait a moment. Maybe that's the key. Maybe I shouldn't have made a orginal race. Maybe I should go onto wikipedia, find fantasy races that already exisit and mould traits onto them. That could work. I could differ from them quite a bit since most mythilogical creature are changed quite a bit in works. That's part of the appeal, for some reason. There is a reason, but I just lost it. It's late when I write them folks. Folks, another word I don't often use. Or do I? Like I said, late. Maybe I'll go and do that. But this blog needs some expanding now, so time to move along.
Shall I write a short passage here, then break it down. Actually no since only exists barely in my head [hyphenation needed] and would need context. So about that thread I'm starting, I'll put let's say maybe a page or two of my work. By the way for those of you interested, I've got writers block, well maybe writer's brick since it isn't as bad and no longer blocking. But I write slowly. When I write well I can pump out I think around 600 words an hour? Something like that. But I am easily distracted. But I've stuck onto this, or to this rather. But, no stop saying but Wilfred. Or Squeaky, but since I'm writing this and dammit lost my trail of thought again. Let's see here, ah-ha! Found it! I've made only four posts, but I have written them at around the same time. Time does fly when you type. I could pass the time more easily, if writing beginings wasn't so hard. If only I had a way of getting to the internet, that way I could look up those fantasy humanoids and then open a new tab and get distracted. Which is what would happen.
Bottem line, those of you interested in the thread should know that I don't work fast and therefore it won't come around soon.
There are getting shorter, but I'm not ending. Oh know, no, no. I'm going to type more, but first of all I need to leave.
Can't be arsed to move. I appear to have moulded to the bed. I think I was just called, but I'm not sure. So all I've talked about is this thread, that currently only exists in my head. So I shall talk about something different.
How about a list on how to write instantly hatable fanficion? I don't it much, but I do know lots about the trope around it, well maybe not lots but I can still make it one up. It's free garden people. Well it had better be, should I have to pay I would be bloodly well tickled off. Man what a poor curse. Wait somebody is coming up the stairs, or is next door's stairs. I don't care. So shall I make this list. Yay more lists. Or maybe I should call it, how pro teens write fanfic. This is basicly jabs at bad fanfiction. Right let's get this started.
1. Make sure your summary isn't even a summary, but instead put something like I suck at summaries.
2. Remember, you must write under pain of death that it is your first fic and therefore no flames.
3. If people critise you at all, remember they are jealous gits who at just envious of the way you masterfully craft words.
4 Grammar is an evil invention invented by Hitler, the four choas gods, the Daleks and Peppa Pig. Don't use it.
I've got more ideas, but I just went downstairs for a while to watch some tv. Besides I need some sleep.
Later. Squeaky the newly appointed fifth.
Wait, wait, hours, or an hour can't tell later. Can't sleep shall type. Though I may need to nod off soon. Yawwwwwwn. So I was doing a list thing wasn't I? Yes I was. This rules can apply to regular fiction too I guess.
5. Write in text speak. It's the language for a new age and all of us stoadry old bastards who type he laughed in a most rowdry manner instead of lol are just bitter about being left behind.
6. A capital at the begining of each sentence and a full stop at end was one of the first grammar rules you learnt. But that was years ago and who should remember that?
7. Put authornotes everywhere. We just love to here opinion all the time.
8. Paragraphs? Witchcraft! Only use large blocks of text.
9. Better yet make sure your paragraphs contain no commas, full stops or the like. People like to pass out due lack of oxygen.
10. Remember love justifies anything
11. Don't research the source materiel, we want to read your hip new way of moulding canon character.
12. Misspellings aren't wrong they're creative.
13. Mummy says that the mean people said your work was rubbish because they are jealous of you and mummy is alway right
14. Umm I donna no whats going on anymore.
15. Putting characters into a crossover solely so they can have a fight is great idea
16. Read the greats! My Imortal, My inner life, and so one. Disregard such crap as A killer comes to play, Drops of Jupiter and the one fic where The Fifth Doctor and somebody make a pizza which I can't remember the name of.
17. Having your fans troll your critic's page is a mature response to said critisim.
18. Why yes despite what the books, films whatever may say hot male character X really does love hot male character y. Don't worry if they hate eachother in the source materiel.
19. We have such poor memories, so you need to spend a page desribing what your Oc is wearing every chapter.
20. The main character need your oc and only your oc
21. Should you write a fic from a game, remember that all elements from the should transfer to the fic. Everything, score counters and all. You shouldn't make any divations from the games plot either. Okay this one is a bit muddled up.
22. Why yes Elm does keep spare entie's in his lab. Just for you.
This bit focus's on Ocs, but can focus on characters for orginal work, which can also be call Ocs.
23. Name your character after the rivers on the moon. It doesn't make us want to punch them.
Christ this is long.
24. Remember giving your character said exotic name is the nest, best, characterisation out there. Forget hopes, dreams and fears its all about the name.
25. Your Oc should be able to win any fight, despite short comings:
.Sword master? Check
.Out magic dueling Karios, Voldemort and Nergal at the same time? No sweat. That's totally awesome.
That went a bit strange.
26. Every fan remembers reading/watching/playing said work and thinking "wouldn't it be awesome if somebody came in who I haven't seen before but is awesome and took out the baddie with no effort,"
26. Make sure that your oc can get out any threatening situation with ease. We hate being kept on our toes.
27. Your backstory must be tragic. Trama may only be cured by Edward cullen's dimond chest
28. You can your character is smart and never have them say anything smart, your word is gospal
And it these points may be mix
29. Those red lines? Just a joke by microsoft.
30. Beat readers are cons. Having somebody else read through your work is stupid. Your eyes are good enough don't worry. No wait, Beta.
31. Marth and Roy totally did appear in the same game. Those who say wrong are lying. It happened is SSB after all!
32. Same with Lucas and Ness.I hope poe's law won't bite my arse for this. I would have more, but they'd take a more sexual turn and likely be NOT SAFE FOR WORK.Why did I even do that?
My words are likely getting more um, fragmented as I go along. So this mammoth type shall now end. I hope the forums don't have a blog post word limit.

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