An Experiment of sorts: Sally the Troll Hunter
by, 18th August 2013 at 08:08 AM (169 Views)
This hasn't be Grammer checked, Spell checker or read over, so errors are to be expected. This is typed with no planning what so ever.
So I can't write anything. Well, I just wrote something, but I can't write anything productive. So I'm just typing this out write now, no planning, just typing. See I've just hit a mental block. Yep still there. Why am I even doing thing. Perhaps after a while something will come, a great thick spurt of creative juice and that was a bad metaphor right there. But never mind about that. So my theory here is that if I keep typing, eventually something will come up. Beginings! That's the hardest part about it all, that first sentence. That's the hardest part of writing. I also hate writing boring things and a suck at dialoge. I feel all my characters sound the same. People who've read my work say it's good, it's very, very good but I'm not so sure. I've reset my novel what 8-9 time now? What a fucking joke! I've got no drive, that's thing. I can write, I just don't know what to write. I'll try a sentence.
Sally likes pie.
Why Sally, why not Mindy, or Lauren or Butterwinkle Pie? No wait, that would cannabalism. And why Pie. Why not Pizza, or Grapes and why did I capatalise those words? Dear me it's late, but type on I shall.
So Sally likes pie. And, who is this Sally girl. Why should I care about her. Is this sentence even needed? What does Sally even do? Is she a cook? A police officer, a soldier, a clerk, come on Wilfred you can do better than that! Think of some more creative jobs, red squiggles be dammed! The President? And why must they be real jobs. Is she a demon hunter? A witch hunter? A Magelego however the hell you spell it hunter? Shit I just checked the word count. Ahem, so let's say Sally is a hunter. Fine, but is she even human? She could be an Elf, a Time Lord, a squid and again with the capitials and I had to re-type that quite a few times. Not that you care. You know I'm suprised you've read as far as this but I'm getting off topic.
So Sally is a human hunter who likes pie. But what does she hunt? Animals such as foxes or rabbits or does she come from a world of trolls and pixies. Troll hunter, let's say she is a troll hunter. Great film by the way. And Sally seems rather quaint for a the name of a fictional troll hunter. Maybe something like I can't think of anything, but not Sally.
But now this posses a problem. Let's look at the orginal sentence. Sally likes pie. So Sally, or shouldn't be called Sally but is called Sally for conveince sake, is a troll hunter. From. lets say around the 1800s in some marshes somewhere. So we know who Sally is, no wait we don't. We know what she does. It doesn't tell us anything about her aside from that. Sure we could deduce that she is brave, strong ect ect ect ect blah blah, but we still wouldn't know much. Beside you could say that your character was kind, but if they are never kind in the novel, then that was a waste of four letters now wasn't it? But we get to the belly of the beast, the pie. So we know that Sally like it, ok we do know something about her. But why should we need to know it. Imagine Sally's being described, strong build, muscles and I also suck at describing people. She's wearing, something. People don't really care what characters are wearing. Most of the time anywhy. So our protagonist, or maybe antagonist or whatever is being described, though she must have some importance given that she is being described like this. So anyway you're reading it and then you see the sentence
"Sally likes pie,"
Why are those three words there. They've got no reason to be there. Do we need to know she likes pie? Why put that sentence there, why not while she is eating, when it would be more fitting? I would ask what pies, but there's no point. That is a wrongly place sentence. It is a dead a parrot.
Nearly two pages? And around 20 minutes too! Interesting, maybe I'll do this again sometime.
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