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Just Watched The Last Airbender

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That. Was the most painful 2 hours I have EVER gone through. Why Nickelodeon why? Why would you do this to your loyal fans? How could you show this monstrosity not once, but TWICE in the same night? Do you honestly not know of our hatred for this movie?

Many years ago, it was announced that my then-favorite novel series, the Inheritance Cycle, was going to be made into a movie. I was excited, I had marked the release date on my calendar and had a spring in my step as I skipped through the halls of my high school. I LOVED reading Eragon and Eldest, and was excited to hear that they'd be brought to life on the big screen with Eragon starting things off. I saw a few trailers that had excited me, including one featuring Saphira as a baby. On the day Eragon came into theaters, my big brother surprised me by coming into my room and telling me to put my shoes on and get my jacket. We hopped into the car and he drove me to the theater, and he said "Merry Christmas little sister" as we walked up to the ticket counter, my brother requesting two tickets to see Eragon.

We walked out of the theater, and I was grieving. I grieved for the part of me that believed in movies, wishing it to come back. But that part of me would never again return, and I began to fear all movies based on successful series. A large part of me had died that night, its carcass carried away by the bastardized spawn of birds and lizards that was Saphira, who had magically grown in the span of her first flight and suddenly knew anything and everything that ever was.

When I had heard Nickelodeon was going to show The Last Airbender, my heart sank. I never actually SAW the movie when it came out, but from the moment I heard it was coming I held a sense of dread. Were they going to butcher ANOTHER series I held near and dear to my heart? I had a slight hope that no, The Last Airbender was going to be a suitable flick for the Avatar franchise. Even when the reviews started pouring in about it being a horrible movie that was badly casted and animated, I held onto the belief that maybe, just maybe, my fellow fans were being a bit unfair to M. Night Shyamalan because he had some bad flicks prior to this.

And then here I am, 2 years later, watching The Last Airbender for the first time. It was Eragon all over again. From the moment the movie opened with what I thought was a VERY bad waterbender *because it was dripping and splashing the entire time they bent it* I started to lose hope. Then Katara started on a long-ass dialogue giving us the background of the world this movie took place in, which reminded me a lot of Star Wars, and used the word Awe-vuh-tar instead of Ah-vuh-tar over and over. She called her brother, who was NOTHING like his awkward, sarcastic animated counterpart, soh-kuh and her grandmother, well, Grandmother as opposed to Gran-Gran. Zuko looked fat and his skin was flawless as near as I could tell, and Iroh *who was called ee-roh* was skinny and looked like he could have been Zuko's older brother instead of his elder Uncle. Appa and Momo had NO personality, or even proper introductions! Their names were just casually dropped in normal conversation.

And then there was the bending. In the cartoon, every action produced a spark of fire, a blast of air, a splash in the water or some rocks to flutter. In the movie, you needed to do at least 5 exaggerated karate moves before something would happen. The fighting sequences were terrible too. It was like "Oh no! That rock is slowly coming out of the ground and is coming at me quickly! About as fast as a snail! I simply MUST block it, I couldn't possibly get out of the way unless I ran! Or walked! Or limped!". No matter what the skill level, no Waterbender was able to bend water without it splashing around and/or dripping. And the Firebenders, they were severely handicapped. If they didn't have a candle next to them they were helpless. They were so shocked when Iroh created his own fire using his "chi", which, by the way, does NOT work like that in the actual series.

Oh, and speaking of candles, Zuko didn't know Aang was the avatar until Iroh did a little "test". Even though he technically hasn't even STARTED learning the other elements, Aang was still somehow able to influence the tools Iroh put in front of him. A candle's flame grew slightly. Water that had splashed around turned into a neat, circular puddle. And a rock did a handstand.

And the plot was incredibly butchered too. If you are a huge fan of King Bumi, Avatar Roku, Suki and her Kyoshi Warriors, or Jet and his Freedom Fighters, then you will be sad to hear that NONE of them appear in the movie. Avatar Roku gets ONE mention, but that's it. Aang ended up getting taught about stuff by some Dragon Spirit everytime he went into the spirit world. Oh, and the reason Aang ran away from the temple in the movie? He was told that he wasn't allowed to bang anyone and fill the world with his spawn. That's right, the Avatar is not allowed to have a family. I wonder where Zuko came from then? Considering Roku was his Great Grandfather.

Seriously, it's like Shyamalan didn't even see the FIRST episode! It's like he just went to Wikipedia *not the Avatar Wiki, I literally mean Wikipedia* and read the short summaries on their episode listings for Book 1. He just took that, got rid of what he thought were filler episodes, and then threw it at a cast who MUST be related to Kristen Stewart in some way. Seriously, my brother has more passion for acting than these twerps do, and he's pretty much given up on that dream. The movie would have been a LOT better if they just cast him for every role. It would still be shit, but at least he'd take it seriously enough that we could believe we were watching Avatar through drunk-vision goggles instead of us sitting here, dry-heaving at these silly little people running around pretending they can do Kung Fu and calling it a movie. As Charlie Jane Anders said, The Last Airbender makes Dragonball Evolution look like a masterpiece.

From the terrible acting to the eye-gouging 3D effects, I would like to say this movie was so bad it was funny, but that would be an insult to comedy. It wasn't so bad it was funny, it was so bad it was BAD. Congratulations M. Night Shyamalan, you have joined the ranks of Eragon. You have shattered any and all hope I had for the movie industry, and reinforced my beliefs that any director who would ever even let the thought of a live movie based off a hit book series/TV show would be great should be immediately shot through the head.

I really wish that Nickelodeon had shown a Justin Bieber concert instead. It was THAT bad. Someone hold me. ;3;

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  1. Zero-Suit Lugion's Avatar
    Well, Katara's actress is still decent as Asami in The Legend of Korra, but there's a very good reason I've always avoided this movie.

    Oh, and my response? It could've been worse. It could've been... Dragon Ball: Evolution.
  2. Zidar Ravencrypt's Avatar
    I thought Sokka's actor was hot. XD
  3. Catilena1890's Avatar
    @Prof. Lugion Oh no I LOVE The Legend of Korra. I think it's a FANTASTIC sequel to the original series. Makorra for life yo <3

    And you sir, are full of shit there. This movie is WORSE than Dragon Ball: Evolution. I have seen Dragon Ball Evolution, and frankly I would have preferred to watch that over this giant dump that Shyamalan took on Avatar.

    @Octy Oh there was no question about some of the character's hotness, especially his, but he was NOT Sokka. He was just some random hot guy they stuck in to keep the girls in the theater from running away from this movie.
  4. Zidar Ravencrypt's Avatar
    That's how I stayed interested. I looked at the eye candy. ;P
  5. Setra's Avatar
    And this is why I haven't, nor will ever see that movie.
  6. Zero-Suit Lugion's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Catilena1890
    And you sir, are full of shit there. This movie is WORSE than Dragon Ball: Evolution. I have seen Dragon Ball Evolution, and frankly I would have preferred to watch that over this giant dump that Shyamalan took on Avatar.
    Heh. I guess you haven't watched the original Dragon Ball itself, then.

    At least TLA follows the general plot of its source material. You still have Aang, Katara, and Sokka going to the North Pole so that Aang can find a waterbending teacher.

    DBE understandably mixes elements from different story arcs from its source material, but then still proceeds to screw the entire story. The race for the Dragon Balls against Piccolo is still there, but... that was only the first two acts in the manga. Goku didn't beat Piccolo until he'd already successfully used the Dragon Balls and conquered the planet. The Piccolo-Daimao arc in the manga is surprisingly dark, with the deaths of many important characters and Shenlong/Shenron himself. They nixed so much and Goku, Chi-Chi, Bulma, and Yamcha are hardly anything like their original selves. Not to mention the whole idea of Namekians being space-faring conquerors (when in the manga they were largely a peaceful race, with only two actual evil members, one of whom never actually appears in the series proper), and the Saiyans being their slaves (when the Saiyans were the evil space mercenaries in the manga)... And Ozaru... just. Urgh. It's so incredibly nothing like the original that I can't even consider it to be a Dragon Ball movie.
  7. Zero-Suit Lugion's Avatar
    But I digress. They're both shitty adaptations of series that deserved much better, and because of them, those franchises will probably never get decent live-action adaptations.
  8. Sunburn's Avatar
    I remember the release of Eragon, my family and I went to see it. When it's opening night and the people in the theater are treating the film being shown like an MST3K riff, you know it's bad. I liked that series of books, but I agree that they royally screwed that film over. It's a shame too, it could have been great.
  9. Catilena1890's Avatar

    @Prof. Lugion Touche, I didn't pay a lot of attention to the manga OR the anime, but I knew enough to hate DBE with the same intensity as the well-versed fans.

    I will throw a fit with the intensity of a thousand firebenders powered up by Sozen's Comet if they EVER decide to go through with the intended sequel for The Last Airbender.

    @Setra Good boy. Stay away from this vile creation that dares to call itself Avatar, no good will come of it. The only redeeming parts of it lie in it's beautiful dragon spirit and the sheer hawtness of Sokka's actor. Neither are worth the torture though.

    @Sunburn I was naive and innocent, and thought every movie adaptation of books would be like Harry Potter. Eragon thoroughly assured me that was not the case. Th-they gave Saphira bird wings ;3;
  10. SquishyFace's Avatar
    I saw it in theaters on the same day some Twilight movie came out. The movies both ended at the same time, and all of the fans walked out completely dissapointed in what they just saw.

    What was worse for me is that I got four teeth pulled only an hour before the movie, and I thought that seeing the movie would be a reward. It ended up being a punishment.
  11. Catilena1890's Avatar
    @Lucius You poor, poor thing. It's okay sweety, it's okay *hugs*


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