(My fiancé is a Marine. We are arguing because of a poorly worded statement about the worth of civilians. We both have tempers; his causes him to deny the problem exists, and mine causes me to go cry and go non-verbal at times because I don’t know how to express what I’m feeling through words. His mother is in the room, attempting to mediate.)

Fiancé: “Why am I always the bad guy?”

Me: “I never called you the bad guy! I told you that you said something that could be interpreted as f*****-up. My problem at this point is that you refuse to take ownership of it!”

Fiancé: “There’s nothing to take ownership of! I didn’t say anything wrong!”

Me: “You insinuated that I was worthless because I’m a civilian, and made mistakes. How is that nothing to take ownership of?”

Fiancé: “I didn’t say it about you, so I didn’t do anything wrong! I’m not apologizing because I’m not in the wrong here! Maybe you should learn to listen and ask questions before you jump to stupid conclusions.”

Me: “God, you came back from boot camp and you suddenly think your way of thinking is the only right one!”

Mother-In-Law: “Easy now…”

Fiancé: “Well, maybe I should go to [USMC base in Japan]! I’ll be with military people with the same military mindset as me, and I won’t have to put up with people making me into the bad guy for nothing! How’s that work for you?”

Mother-In-Law: “Oh, god! Don’t be silly!”

(My temper flares, because he has brought up something he knows will hurt me; him going overseas and leaving me behind.)

Me: “You… I…”

Mother-In-Law: “Honey…”

(I grunt in exasperation and stomp my foot.)

Mother-In-Law: “Use your words, honey.”

Me: “Go fu—”

Mother-In-Law: “Not that one!”

Me: “You… hurt… me. I spent years trying not to feel worthless, and what you said to me made me feel worthless.”

Mother-In-Law: “Keep going…”

Me: “What you said hurt, and you don’t care because you’d rather be right than sorry. It doesn’t matter if it was an accident; it still hurt. Why doesn’t that matter to you?”

(I burst into tears. My fiancé stops and stares at me for a minute, then pulls me into a hug and apologizes over and over. His mom smiles, and starts talking to him.)

Mother-In-Law: “Son, you were in the wrong here, not because your statement had malicious intent, but because you refused to acknowledge that you hurt her. You felt that her complaint wasn’t valid because you didn’t see a problem with your statement, and you didn’t want to be wrong and admit you’d hurt her. You need to understand that your reality isn’t the only one; different people experience things differently. You two are talking about spending forever together, but forever’s a long time to spend with someone who can’t see the other side of a story. You need to take accountability when you hurt one another, even if it’s an accident.”

(We both nod, and his mom pulls out his baby book. We spend the rest of the night cuddled up, laughing at pictures and discussing where the comment went wrong until we both fall asleep. I don’t think I can ever properly thank my mother in law for what she did, because I’m almost certain the relationship would have ended that night had she not brought me down.)

(One of my friends is able to keep a straight face through *anything*, and loves to screw with telemarketers so when this one company will NOT leave me alone and remove me from their list despite 6 months of requests, this happens when I’m out with him.)
*phone rings*
Me: DAMMIT it’s those people again.
Him: Gimme the phone.
Me: No, I just don’t want to answer.
Him: *takes the phone* Hello?
Telemarketer: Oh, hi! We’re looking for [my name], is she available?
Him: Nope, she died.
Telemarketer: Oh, well we’ll need to see her death certificate.
Him: Nope, you can’t have that.
Telemarketer: Excuse me?
Him: Nope. See, you were harassing her, you didn’t actually have a business contract with her so therefore, you’re not entitled to see her death certificate. You were trying to get her to SIGN a business contract with you, but since you did not have one you get… nothing.
Telemarketer: I’m sorry but in order to remove her from our list we need proof that she’s passed on.
Him: Nope.
Telemarketer: Sir, if you could just-
Him: Nope.
Telemarketer: Sir, I-
Him: Nope.
Telemarketer: If you could just-
Him: Nope.
Telemarketer: I just-
Him: If you think you’re going to win in this conversation keep in mind that I don’t work today, I know it’s against your company rules to hang up on me unless I become verbally abusive, which I’ve no intention of doing, and I have no problem wasting your time. With that in mind, are you going to remove this number from your database or do you want to keep going?
(They never called me again.)

(I suffer from panic attacks that can come on extremely suddenly and cause tetany, which means my muscles seize up. My sister and I are flying from Sydney to Queensland and, upon landing, I have an attack. It’s not until the rest of the passengers are off the plane do the stewardesses and steward notice me and my sister.)

Stewardess #1: *to my sister* “Hey, is she alright?”

My Sister: “She’s having a panic attack.”

Stewardess #2: “Is she scared of flying?”

My Sister: “No, she just gets attacks really suddenly. She’s not breathing well and she can’t move.”

Stewardess #2: “I’ll go see if I can lower the oxygen masks.”

Stewardess #1: “It’s ok, honey; I’ll go get the medical staff.”

(The steward sits next to me.)

Steward: “So, I’m Robbie. What’s your name?”

Me: *gasps*

My Sister: “Her name is [my name].”

Steward: “And here I thought her name was Gaspy. How are you holding up, Gaspy?”

(I laugh, which hurts. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and straightens me up from my fetal position, which also hurts.)

Steward: “I know curling up in a ball feels good right now, but it’s not helping your breathing get any better; keep straight for me, Gaspy.”

Me: “It hurts.”

Steward: “I know, I know. Try and slow your breathing down though; come on, Gaspy. Let’s become [my name] again.”

Stewardess #2: “I can’t lower the oxygen masks for one person, apparently, but I’ve radioed the airport and they’re bringing in a tank for her.”

Me: “What?”

My Sister: “Seriously, it’s just a panic attack; we both have them all the time. A glass of warm milk, and we’re fine.”

Steward: “Warm milk, eh? Lame! Here at [airline], we do things in style! Oxygen tanks all the way! Plan to be spoiled, Gaspy.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

Stewardess #2: “Don’t be sorry; we’re having fun!”

(Stewardess #1 returns, followed by a medic with a wheelchair and oxygen tank.)

Steward: “Up we go then.”

(The steward gets to his feet and somehow manages to get me into his arms in the narrow gap between the seats. He carries me to the chair and sits me down.)

Me: “I’m really, really sorry.”

Medic: “Stop apologising; this is the best part.”

(He puts the oxygen mask on me and straps me to the chair.)

Me: “I don’t think I need that.”

Medic: “It helps, trust me.”

Me: “Okay…”

Medic: “And out we go!”

(They wheel me off the plane and through the hall to the airport. We hear shouting from the terminal and it turns out I’d held up the next flight by 45 minutes.)

Steward: “Ready for the best part?”

(We turn the corner, and all the angry passengers take one glance at me and shut up, looking away guiltily. The medic and the steward and stewardesses all laugh.)

Medic: “See how the straps help?”

Steward: “See ya, Gaspy!”

Me: “Thank you, and sorry!”

(The medic continues to wheel me through the airport and starts to get irritated by the fact that no one is moving out of his way.)

Medic: “Seriously. You are strapped into a wheelchair, breathing into an oxygen tank! Move, people! Can I use you to ram into people?”

Me: “Ram away.”

(He proceeds to barge into people who don’t clear room for us, apologising with a grin after every hit. We finally get to the medical centre and they take my heart rate and blood pressure, which are so high, they keep me there to monitor them until they go back down. Finally, I am allowed to leave.)

Medic: “And here is a lollipop for being my bulldozer.”

(Best. Airport Staff. EVER.)

(I enter the bus with my kitten in a carrier on the way to the vet.)

Me: “Excuse me, I’ve never been to the vet with this bus. Can you tell me which bus stop is nearest?”

Driver: “You need to go to the vet?”

Me: “Yes.”

Driver: “Okay…”

(After a while, I notice in passing that he missed the bus stop where I needed to get out.)

Me: “Excuse me, I think you missed my stop.”

Driver: “No, I didn’t.”

(I decide to trust him and a few minutes later, he stops the bus, nowhere near a bus stop.)

Driver: “This is your stop.”


Me: “Okay?”

(I’m a bit confused until the driver points to the other side of the road.)

Driver: “That’s the vet. Hope your cat is okay!”

(I am the ONLY person seated in a movie theater showing a horror film when the usher enters.)

Me: “Since I am the only person in here, will I still be arrested if I run around screaming ‘fire’?”

(Surprisingly, the usher is grinning from ear to ear after I say this.)

Usher: “No, but if you do it, can I join in?”

(Note: This is the second theater where I have asked this question under the same circumstances. I was granted permission to run around screaming ‘fire’ both times!)

(I’m at the checkout of a small store with several t-shirts. Note: I am left-handed.)

Checkout Girl: “Cash or card?”

Me: “Card.”

(I give my card and I sign on the receipt. As I do, the checkout girl gives me a strange look.)

Checkout Girl: “Oh, I see… your wand arm is different from most of ours. Sinister…”

Me: “Huh?”

Checkout Girl: “What are people like you doing here? Muggles!”

(I finally realise what is going on. When she bags my stuff and hands them to me, I say…)

Me: “Master gave Dobby clothes! Dobby is free!”

(We both begin to laugh and exchange phone numbers. She later told me that “sinister” was a word for left-handedness in Latin. I even called her home once to show her my Harry Potter collection! Funny way to make friends!)

The show is VERY fascinating to watch, since they show clips of the anomalies. It's also educational because while you are seeing the strange animal in question, the show does its best to explain WHY. Why does that lamb have a 5th leg on his head? Why did that shark attack a human? Why did that pelican eat a pigeon? The narrator and the people involved in each clip do their best to explain it, even if it's only a theory that has yet to be proven.

The show has not played favorites with any species of animal, and all kinds of animals get their time in the spotlight if they fit an episodes theme. There is no feeling sorry for the poor gazelle that just got taken down by a lion, nor is there any cheering when the lion does so. It's a mostly neutral show *with the exception of a couple of episodes* that is actually rare in documentaries. I have seen MANY documentaries that cast their cheers towards the subject of the animal they are filming. Not that that's a bad thing, if you don't designate a good guy or bad guy, you won't get a lot of viewers and the message is lost from the disinterest. World's Weirdest makes this work because they aren't going for any conservation messages or anything, they play to the Internet and reach out for those who enjoy being up to their neck in the mematic "Weird Part of Youtube".

That said, they manage to tell a story in each clip and will give you the background and aftermath of each clip where one can be provided, so you know this isn't just a random thing someone CGI'd for cash.

World's Weirdest also caught my attention because they uphold one of my most treasured, personal beliefs. There aren't humans and animals, just animals. While we are *by our standards* smarter than other, we are indeed animals, and World's Weirdest makes it a point to explain that as they will showcase humans doing the strangest things alongside the other animal clips, again when it fits the theme. We've seen a man who can scale buildings like spiderman because he watched monkeys, and a guy who turned himself into a lizard to make his live show more exciting *though he was quick to point out that he's not a furry, just really digs showbiz*.

First and foremost, if you see an episode called "Freaky Eats" coming on, change the channel. If you can't find the remote, go up and change the channel on the satellite/cable box. If they don't have a button to do so, turn off the TV. If your TV doesn't have a button to turn it off, unplug it. If unplugging it doesn't work, get the biggest fucking gun you can find and shoot it until it's rubble. If that doesn't work, RUN.

Some episodes, like the aforementioned above, have seemingly harmless titles, but are quite horrid and nightmarish when you start watching. Some of the clips aren't that bad, true, but for every "tame" clip, there are two clips of nightmare fuel. You'll need a sound mind and a REALLY strong stomach to watch some of these clips. Because of the nature of the clip I'm about to describe as an example, it's going to be hidden. One of the least nightmare-inducing yet still highly disturbing clips, from Freaky Eats. A farmer who castrates his lambs by making a small incision in the scrotum, pushing the testes out, and BITES them off. He believes his saliva is a better antiseptic for the lambs than modern medicine.

If you found the hidden text, then you've seen the second part of that horrible pair of sentences I had to write. This brings me to my next qualm with the show. World's Weirdest DOES try to give you explanations for everything, but they are not always accurate, nor scientific. In the above example, they NEVER pointed out that the farmer couldn't be more wrong, and actually outright confirmed his theory, and discredited their own caution from a few episodes earlier! Sorry, but Human Saliva is about as far from an antiseptic as you can get. Because of our wide diet, the human mouth is crawling with some strong bacteria that helps break down our food while we chew it. That's the primary purpose of saliva. If you get that in an open wound, there's a chance that you could end up with a very nasty infection. You won't exactly die from it if you give it even basic care, but it's still not fun.

Not only is this shows explanations off the mark scientifically, but they try to humanize the animals and pass that off as fact when they can't find any justifications! From the same episode, Freaky Eats *I've seen more than just this episode, for you skeptics. It's just that this episode is one of the more egregious examples*, they had a garter snake who was eating a frog bigger than its mouth could swallow, and when it went into the pond for some odd reason, with the frog hanging out of its mouth, it tried to escape again by going up the side, but couldn't because of the frog. Then ANOTHER frog pops out of nowhere, tackles the snake in the water and dislodges the other frog from its throat and all three walk away from the experience. In a show Unlikely Animal Friends where I saw this same clip, it baffled the people who shot the video and the biologists who studied it, and the only explanation they could come up with was that the "rescuer" saw either the snake or the frog as a threat to it's territory and was trying to dispatch the threat. World's Weirdest explained this as the "rescuer" defending his friend. Sorry, but I'm more inclined to believe Unlikely Animal Friends. There are a LOT of animals that form bonds with one another and try to help each other survive, but frogs are not one of them. Frogs are mostly solitary creatures and don't really care to be around each other except when mating time comes. There are a few species that'll help care for the young, such as the American Bullfrog, but that's about as far as relationships go in the frog world.

This show is more about bewildering its viewers and educating them, but it does manage to get a laugh out of us. Usually through Narm, as some of the clips are just so incredibly shocking you can't help but laugh at them. Call me a horrible person, but I couldn't help chuckling at the pelican snapping up a live pigeon and try to swallow it, and the sound the pigeon made killed any sort of downcast mood the scene had. If it makes you feel any better, I did feel bad about it when the pelican succeeded and felt the loss of the pigeon. Though, pigeons tormented my dog back in california, so maybe I'm biased.

For starters, the dub has a pretty sweet opening. It's got a nice beat and good melody, and the lyrics are inspirational and appropriate for the target audience.

Number 17 - Leviathan Dragon. It's big. It's fierce. And it's a purple dragon. If you do not think that is awesome, then shame on you.

Its plot, though while strangely similar to another, is fairly easy to grasp and makes more sense initially than the previous series did. The original series didn't exactly explain the MacGuffins until the start of the Battle City Arc, GX (HA I can't say that with a straight face) didn't have any rhyme or reason to it, and 5D's only made a slight bit more sense. ZEXAL's use of the Number Cards is explained almost right away, and they aren't what you'd expect.

There aren't many characters in ZEXAL that I'm fond of, but I did enjoy Astral's character very much. He's clever, snarky, deadpan-naive, and he's hot. He almost ALWAYS gets what he wants, whether or not his partner Yuma agrees to it, simply because he can come up with a strategy for almost any situation at any given time. And I'm not just talking about duels. Astral gets plenty of screentime outside of the dueling network thingy, which enables us to see further into his character. All in all, Astral alone is an okay reason to watch Zexal, if you can ignore his partner. I guess I have a thing for witty, sarcastic ghosts.

The monsters have personalities too. Most of them anyway. Some of the creatures in Yuma's deck and all of the Numbers show that they have their own thoughts and feelings beyond "Attack when ordered. Stand your ground." In fact, except for Yuma's signature number card, all of the numbers seem to enjoy a bit of chaos and destruction, but most of them are perfectly fine watching too *though they won't hesitate to join in when someone invites them to destroy stuff*.

Despite looking rather complicated, Xyz *Zizz* summoning is actually fairly easy, and the monsters that come of it have fun toys for you to play with in many ways. They can be utilized in different strategies to suit your every need, and if there were more dragon Xyz monsters, I'd have hours of strategy to plot.

Now that I'm done scraping the barrel, let's get into the down and dirty stuff. There are only a few major flaws though, I haven't seen/read enough to list ALL of the bad in Zexal.

First, Yuma. I hate him. I hate him so much. He's whiny, ignorant, defiant *and not in a good way*, and he makes mistakes even NEWBIES wouldn't think about. Of the episodes I've seen, he constantly forgets GoGoGo Golem's ability, even though Astral has pointed it out to him SO MANY TIMES, and he's got the nerve to pull a "I meant to do that" when it happens. Even when I was first learning how to play the game I ALWAYS read my cards. At least he's smart enough to put the correct cards in the proper zones.

My biggest qualm with Zexal is that this is a cheap knockoff of the original series. A short teen with screwy hair pairing up with an Amnesiac Spirit who lives in a shiny pendent on his neck to save the word using a children's card game. Sound familiar? Even worse, it copies one of Duel Monster's first plots! There's this tournament they sign up for where they have to collect Heart Pieces to go onto the finals, and they get them by wagering them in duels. The ONLY main difference aside from the obvious lack of Pegasus and Millennium Items is that you have to get SPECIFIC pieces of heart to advance.

Your Mileage May Vary, but Shark kinda irks me. He's got Kaiba's personality but not his backstory. His excuse for being a dickwad is basically nothing but "I got banned from a tournament for cheating even though I was set up." Yeah, I can understand being mad about getting the short end of the stick, but that's no reason to be bullying other kids and destroying their hopes and dreams. It's sad that he has awesome hair that is my favorite shade of purple. He doesn't deserve it man. At least he gets better as time goes on and he gets over it.

There's something satisfying about seeing Astral stealthily manipulate Yuma and Yuma pulling the wool over Astral's eyes. This may not seem like much for this section of the KFR, but all you need to do with just WATCH Yuma and Astral interact, and you'd see WHY they get this section all to themselves.

Even before the game starts, we already stray from the path of Rescue and Explorer games. Instead of a stupid quiz, you get to choose what you want to be outright! Perfect for the hard-core fans of certain starters *long live Serperior!*, the game wastes no time in pleasing the player. Following the awesome avatar selector, you are treated to the lulz of seeing your character fall from thousands of feet onto the cold hard ground, and it is never explained how the hell you survived falling so far down, let alone are able to get up and tackle the n00b cave almost immediately after. It just gets better from there.

After we get through the annoying tutorials and whatnot, the game weaves a tale of funny and beauty and woe, and it actually makes sense. Unlike the first two games, this one introduces what's wrong with the world outright, yet it doesn't explain exactly why the hell you are there at first either. While it still takes you by surprise, NOTHING is random in this game, and everything makes sense in hindsight, even stuff you never really noticed.

The characters are funny, memorable, and if you didn't like those species before, you most certainly will after you've played through the game. I was never particularly fond of Dunsparce or, god forbid, Emolga, but after seeing them in the story, I am ready to accept Dunsparce as a serpentine pokemon and love it as much as my little sister. As for Emolga, while I still don't care for them that much, after playing this game, I'll be able to hear the word "Emolga" and not picture myself taking out a shotgun and taking aim. That's something right?

One thing Gates to Infinity has in common with the Explorers game, it hides the real big bad. At first, you think it's Hydreigon because of your dreams. Then, you think it's Kyurem, even after the first trip to the Great Glacier. You aren't corrected until AFTER Hydreigon pulls a Big Damn Heroes moment about halfway through the game. Unlike the Explorers game though, everyone's motivation is clear. Whereas in the rescue games everyone was flipping out because of the meteor which was somehow caused by a pissy Ninetales, and the Explorer games where Darkrai was doing it mainly For Teh Evulz *as he's never seen until after you fix the timeline. You'd think the game would at least HINT it was his fault prior to the Palkia arc*. In Gates to Infinity, you know everyone is an asshole because they'd been abused one too many times, and Kyurem at least gives you a fighting chance once you overpower him, and he THANKS you for saving the world he was going to allow to die by saving you and everyone else. Everyone has a reason for everything, and they are actually quite reasonable compared to past bad guys. Pretty much every bad guy you face makes a Face Heel Turn and tries to help you *except the Mini-Boss Squad, the Pawniards and their underlings, but that's beside the point*.

And then, just when you think the game couldn't get any more awesome, the story brings YOU into it like no Mystery Dungeon Game has before. Even though your avatar speaks for you, they somehow made it so that it would mirror your general feelings almost every time they thought or spoke out loud, if not exactly word for word. The friends you make along the way truly care about you, and after you save the world, they rip your heart apart with their goodbyes, and their defiance to forget you even though Hydreigon promised that he'd be the only one who would remember you. Despite the odds, EVERYONE remembers who you are and what you did, regardless of whether or not they were actually there when they swore to remember. I played this game from start to finish 4 times in a row, and I cried hard every single time I was sent back to the human world. True friends cannot be separated, even by nature itself, and anything can grab your heartstrings, even if it's a computer simulation of 3D talking animals.

Also, two words: COMPANION MOOOOODE!!!!

You get to play as the rest of the team relatively early in the story, and it has no impact on the plot whatsoever. Combine that with the fact that EVERY pokemon you recruit shares the EXP you get from battling in dungeons, and you have yourself a Grinder's paradise. You can spend a week doing nothing but grinding, and when you go back to the plot, you can blast through EVERYTHiNG using the levels you gained in Companion Mode. This makes Companion Mode a much better feature than the Magnagate thing in the main menu. More in the next section on that.

Not much to complain about in this game, but not everything is perfect. The first thing that bugs me is Gurdurr's backstory. I don't have a problem with the backstory in and of itself, it's very lovely, but, who was the douchebag who commissioned him and the Timburr for the sole purpose of crushing their spirits and destroying their hard work? The story NEVER implies who or what it was that did this, so I don't feel like Gurdurr gets any justice for what happened to him aside from becoming great friends with you *his bit in the goodbye is what gets me crying every time*. At the very least, I would have liked to see that pokemon come back and apologize to Gurdurr for what they did. But oh well, at least he's happy now.

It's also annoying how they eliminated gender, and the story assigns them. In Japan, you got to choose what gender you were, but not in the American release. That's okay right up until the point where, post final boss, everyone finally identifies YOUR gender. Male. It kinda irks me that everyone called me a guy. Either I was a dude all along in the game, or the pokemon world gave me a free sex change. I'm female dammit! I don't care what you guys say, this Snivy has a girl's name!

I mentioned this earlier, there are two modes in the game that can be very helpful to you if you put the effort into it. One is the wonderful Companion Mode....and then there are the Magnagates. Dear god the Magnagates. Unlike in the story, you can't "build" a Magnagate using cards. You can only find them by selecting the Search option in the main menu and using the 3DS camera to find one. Whether or not you find a Magnagate depends on 3 things: Size, Shape, and Color. Only circular objects can hold Magnagates, and they have to fit the smallest circle on the screen. Color determines WHERE you go, so that is the only variable. When you find a magnagate, you get to play as a random starter pokemon *usually one you did NOT choose*, and their evolutionary stage depends on the difficulty of the dungeon. Once you enter the dungeon, you're treated to a world filled with treasures and money! You can collect these as you make your way through the dungeon, and if you defeat the boss, everything you got goes right to your game file for you to use in the story, and you get additional rewards for beating the dungeon that also go to the story!

Why is this in the Bad Section? Because it's damn near impossible to find a working Magnagate. Not every circular object turns into a Magnagate, and when it does, it usually only lasts for a tenth of a second. You need to be tapping the A button as fast as you can while you are scanning because the camera can't keep focus for very long, and it's difficult to make it refocus. I only do Magnagate hunting when I'm bored because it takes a lot of patience, and usually the rewards aren't really worth the effort. Plus, you're going in naked, you don't get ANY access to the items in your main story, unlike in Companion mode, and god help you if you hunt Magnagates before you get access to the team commands or any Team Skills in the story. You can only use what you find, which defeats the purpose a bit if, like me, you are trying to hoard reviver seeds you find. At the very least, I want my stat-boosting ribbons man.

As mentioned in the discussion thread for this game, the story wasn't really divided well. Although beautiful, the story has the first arc stretch for about 4/5's of the plot, and the second arc consists of only three missions, the first two of which are requests from the board. Once your avatar returns after the 3rd mission, the game seems....empty. For all the emotions and the constant reminder that everyone fought tooth and nail to DEFY THE LAWS OF NATURE in remembering you, you don't get much more than "!!!! Y-you're back!? WELCOME HOME HERPADERP!" when you talk to everyone. And I mean that literally. In order to know the impact of your return, you need to walk up to everyone and talk to them to find out their reactions. And if you didn't pay attention to the shopkeepers when you wanted their reaction, then LOL@U, they'll never reveal their feelings to you again and only give you the "WHAT DO YOU WANNA BUY FROM ME?" Spiel. You'd think that after the big deal they made about how much they love you and missed you, there'd be another party to celebrate your return to the pokemon world.

Speaking of the pokemon world, it bugs me about how inconsistent they are regarding you and the relationship with the two worlds. I get that in the pokemon world, humans don't exist and that's why you can't stay there initially, but what about you? Where are you from? They call it the Human World, but what kind of world is it? Is it the world from the anime/manga/game where pokemon DO exist, or is it OUR world? I ask this because for some reason, the game seems to imply that you don't know a damn thing about pokemon except what you learn in the plot. You not only recognize that you are a pokemon BEFORE YOU GET INTO THE STORY, but what kind you are. You also seem to know how to use the elemental attacks unique to your type. For example, I was a Snivy, and I started with Vine Whip. How exactly did I know how to summon vines from my neck and smack people with them?

And yet, aside from knowing what you are and how to attack, your knowledge of pokemon seems to end there. From that point on, every single character you meet has to introduce themselves to you. This is a no win situation. If you are from the real world, you could be forgiven for having a limited concept of what pokemon are, but that doesn't explain how you automatically know how to attack. There is no "Where did these vines come from? Maybe it's my instinct as this pokemon?" or anything of the sort. If you are from the game/anime/manga, then how do you not know at least ONE pokemon you encounter before introduction? I can understand people from those worlds may not know what a Kyurem is, or know what to call Hydreigon, but Munna and Patrat aren't exactly rare, and everyone and their brother uses at least one Eeveelution in those universes. Shame on those who cannot instantly recognize Umbreon before Virizion cries out his name in shock.

And then we get to Virizion. Again, I don't have a problem with her role in the story or her backstory, and I love her relationship with Dunsparce and Emolga and Keldeo, but...what about the other Musketeers? You don't get to see Terrakion and Cobalion at all until you reach Royal rank in Paradise, which, chances are, you won't reach until long after the story ends unless you spam companion mode and do nothing but left board missions for months. Even then, there is no reaction from either Virizion OR Keldeo to my knowledge *though, I have yet to get these two, so I don't know for sure yet*. The same problem lies with Kyurem and the rest of his trio. You can clearly see B/W Kyurem is in the game, you fight them at Turbulent Tor when you accept those missions on the left board. And you can fight Reshiram and Zekrom too, as well as Ho-Oh and Lugia.

I can accept the absence of Lugia and Ho-Oh *though they deserve better than to be bonus bosses*, but where were Reshiram and Zekrom? I have a hard time believing that they were just kicking back, chilling out and going "The world's gonna end? Oh well. I wonder what's on TV?". Yes, they've had a big role in the main series game, but so did Kyurem, and they made Kyurem one of the key characters in this game. It just seems kinda backwards to have a neutral legend be a driving force and completely ignore pokemon who are characterized to embody two important values. Heck, I could see Reshiram and Zekrom fighting over whether or not the world SHOULD be destroyed, but we never see any of that.

Aside from one comment by Sandile, you never get to find out if your character can travel freely between the pokemon world and the human world. Again, for all the hype, they never really explain this plot point. As an optimistic person, I'd like to think that my partner got his wish and that I got the best of both worlds.

The last thing I'm gonna complain about is the fact that you can't play as Kyurem, Reshiram, Zekrom, Ho-Oh or Lugia. That's only a minor annoyance, but come on, how awesome would it be to visit dungeons and cough up fireballs on your enemies or zap them?

So you're falling through thousands of miles of sky at top speed, you have no wings, no parachute, nothing to cushion your fall. You hit the ground, possibly hitting a few trees on the way, and the worst you get is dazed. You are able to get right back up, muse about how you fell out of the sky, and you are able to go right into the n00b cave and fight as though nothing happened. Of course, you don't volunteer to go to the n00b cave. Not only does your future partner FORCE you into the fight, but they never seem to question what the hell you were doing in the sky in the first place! It's implied that they make sense of it when you tell them you're human out of the blue, but really, the start to the story makes no sense, but it's hilarious enough to get by.

Hydreigon. Just, Hydreigon. If he or Victini appear in person in the story, expect hilarity to ensue.

A giant dinosaur made out of rock has a crush on an itty bitty chinchilla. Oh the fanfics that will come from this.

There are wayyyy too many other things that are hilarious to list here, and I need to finish this up. I'm sure you're sick of reading this by now.