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QUOTES AND CRAP

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
All we know is that Hell sucks and there is fire.

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
How can you live with yourself knowing you let a Danish fuckpuppet like Lars [Ulrich] make you sad?

Quote Originally Posted by TheMissingno.
pyradox, arctura, devized it's all good
comin down town to rock out in tha hood
blastin' that metal like a multicolored zebra
megadeth metallica iron maiden i need ya
there's no conspiracy, specially not kyurem
zekrom? reshiram? forget em'
the one thing i must say is WRITING IN ALL CAPS
NEVER GETS OLD, JUST LIKE MY RAPS

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
When life gives you lemons, steal a goddamn horse and ride drunk through the streets.

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
And as any scientist can tell you, when confronted with two possible theories, the scientific method dictates that we must go with the one that is awesome.

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
Most horrifying of all, in some instances the animals are completely and totally pureed by the storm, torn into a rain of pink bloody chunks. We challenge you to find a more perfect time to play that song 'Raining Blood' by Slayer.

Quote Originally Posted by Dave Mustaine (Megadeth, Sleepwalker)
DON'T GO TO SLEEP! HERE'S SOME TOOTHPICKS FOR YOUR EYES!

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
There is an old saying that goes "you can fool some of the people some of the time, but you'll never fool anybody into believing that a band that has a motherfucking lead flautist is even kind of metal." Or something like that.

Sure, Jethro Tull could crank out tunes about dragons and ancient beasts with the best of them, but that doesn't make them Dio for fuck's sake! Did we mention the lead singer played the flute? THE FLUTE!

Quote Originally Posted by Dave Mustaine (Megadeth, Good Mourning)
SOMETHING'S COMING OVER ME!

... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
Dinosaur survival horror isn't "done right" unless your character has a "drink own urine" button.

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
To our knowledge, this is the first time Superman has been touted as the second gunman.

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
Some people think it's a special kind of static electricity. Some think it's electrified silicon. Some think it's a big ball of What The Fuck that has somehow adopted physical form.

Quote Originally Posted by The Quietus
We have but a short period on this earth and Lulu, spread over 95 – yes, 95! – tedious and excruciating minutes simply eats into time that could be more constructively spent watching the grass grow or perhaps wanking into a sock.

Quote Originally Posted by Pickles the Drummer (Metalocalypse)
BY THE POWER OF ALL THAT IS EVIL, I COMMAND YOU TO WAKE UP AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH!

Quote Originally Posted by TVTropes
"Holy Wars", the song is so awesome, it might as well be called "Holy Shit!"

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
The eggs have the consistency of cottage cheese. The most popular way to eat them is in a taco with guacamole, while being fucking insane.

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
Ever have one of those days when you just wanted to get out of the house and flay somebody? Yep, you're probably a sociopath.

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
Four guys on a multicolored assortment of horses will charge across the world, spreading War, Famine, Pestilence and Death. In other words, things will look exactly like they do now, so you'll need to actually see the horses to know something is up.

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
To achieve this, scientists did the same thing they do to solve virtually every problem -- they shot two incredibly powerful lasers at each other until science happened.

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
This costume's designer has many a dead hooker in his basement.

Quote Originally Posted by A YouTube Commenter
Quote Originally Posted by A Different YouTube Commenter
Which one is Eddie on this album cover?
The handsome one.

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
So instead, a guy went out and bought a phone number that costs $2,750,000. And what number could possibly cost so much? Why, it's 666-6666.

You might ask, "Where did my Slayer-loving cousin Rodney get 3,000,000 bucks?" Don't worry, Rodney's still living in your aunt's basement and doing Satan's work at the Carl's Jr. drive thru window. Turns out, while a bunch of sixes might be the mark of the beast in Western culture, the word six in Arabic is equated with "ellah," meaning God. So in Qatar, where the number was sold, owning 666-6666 is like owning God's phone number.
Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
There is nothing fun about yo-yos. They are the devil's own stringy testicles.
Quote Originally Posted by TVTropes
"You" in the lyrics? Refers to drugs. "She"? Metaphor for drugs. The singer "needs" or "wants" something? Drugs. Everything is drugs. Shoes are drugs. Seagulls are drugs. Drugs drugs drugs.

Quote Originally Posted by Taliesyn View Post
Think about it; God should not be in a fruit.

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
It's like every single AC/DC album cover came to life and punched your eyeballs right in the dick.

Quote Originally Posted by Cracked
And then, one day, it rained a man. Hallelujah.








Scoreboard
Hell: 2
Metallica: 4
Megadeth: 3
Slayer: 2
Cracked: 17
Metalocalypse: 1
Random is random: 2
TVTropes: 2
Song Quotes: 2
Total: 26