Okay. I Found My Limit.
by, 18th February 2013 at 03:35 AM (374 Views)
At around 12:15 CST, I found it very difficult to swallow anything but water. I didn't know what was going on. My dad did not react well to this and thought I had problems with consuming anything because of some kind of infection. He even criticized me and told me that I was frustrating. Well, does he really expect for me to literally chug a tiny amount of vinegar followed by a giant glass of water and not react badly to the taste of it? Sometimes I don't understand his thoughts... My throat felt like it was closing up and I felt very light-headed. Several minutes later, my mouth stopped producing saliva, and I felt the need to pace around my dad's apartment to help with my sudden change in breathing patterns. I could not feel my heart beating, and constantly had to check to see if I was going to survive. My symptoms worsened and I had to go to the hospital because I had no idea what was happening to me and was feeling more light-headed if I sat down. The car ride was terrifying. My mouth was almost totally dry, I couldn't think straight, and I was in constant fear of dying.
When I got out of the car, I immediately headed towards the hospital's entrance and waited impatiently to see what was wrong with me. The last thing I wanted was to do was sit still and get my blood pressure and pulse checked. I knew it would make me even more light-headed and I was already uncertain as to what would happen next. Would I survive? I wanted to tell my mom to let you guys know if I did end up dying, but a part of me said no. She wouldn't understand and probably wouldn't do it for me. I was told to take deep breaths by the doctor, and was lead into a small room with a soft bed. I was asked to lay down and continue trying to relax. It took a while, but I finally calmed down and breathed normally after having my anxiety attack. As it turns out, I was hyperventilating because of stress built up, which makes a lot of sense considering what has happened to me lately. The doctor told me that it came from a lot of negative emotions and getting stressed out over many things and worrying. I have never had such an attack like that before, and really, I don't want another one.
If it isn't obvious, my life as been a literal shitstorm lately. I hope this is the end and I can go back to my...you know, I have pretty much always been emotionally unstable, so there's only new Zima that can come out of this. XD
Thanks for reading. :D
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