My True Self
by, 6th October 2013 at 05:43 PM (1130 Views)
For those of you who decided to click on this post, thank you. For those of you who have decided to read this entire post, you forever have my gratitude. I'm so sick of putting up a fake smile, and simply going with what ever other people say. I feel so sick of being trapped in my own head, so I want people to know the real me. Naturally though, It'd be awkward to go up to my friends and family and spill every one of my secrets. So I thought, I'd try and post about myself here, where it'll be completely anonymous. You'll know the real me, with really knowing the real me. Basically, you'll know everything about me except my real name, my location, and my face.
For those of you who don't know me, I'm Naoto. I've been on the forums for 2 years, and I'm frequently active in the RPG forums. In real life, I'm free spirited artist who enjoys video games, writing, and reading manga.
If there's one thing you should know about me, I always need to be doing something. If somethings not occupying my mind, it'll get painful for me. It'll make it so minutes feel like hours, and hours feel days, you get the drill. I'm one of those Type A personalities. (Basically someone who always has to focus on something.) I can't just sit down, and relax. I have to have a book to read, or a game to play. It's so bad, I can't even just sit down and watch TV.
Another thing is I'm fairly self conscious about my gender and sexuality. I'm a guy, but I don't act that masculine. I'm absolutely horrible at sports, being a pathetic klutz. I'd rather do things like Draw, read, or sing then do something like play football. I'd rather eat chocolate then steak, and I'm always being careful about not eating anything covered in fat. I never actually refer to myself as "Man" or "Guy" Unless I absolutely have to. I'm Bisexual, so I like both guys and girls, but I'm so insecure about it, I've never actually tried to date anyone. I'm 17 and I've never actually kissed anyone before. My parents, don't even know I'm Bisexual, because I have no idea what my homophobe dad would think.
I guess the last thing I can think is that I'm never satisfied with reality. Sometimes I wish I could just close my eyes, and wake up in a completely different reality. Sometimes I wish that I could just discover I have some sort of weird Psychic powers, and I end up being recruited by some supernatural agency recruiting those with potential. Or maybe I could be discovered by some sorcerer who sees that i magical powers, and takes me under his or her wing to show me how to use them. Or maybe I could meet up with an Vampire who wants to make me his apprentice, and makes a Dhampire or something. Unfortunately, I can't help but admire how well written the laws of physics are. That's probably why I like Videogames, Manga, and those kind of things. It just sort of takes me out of my head, and fulfills my urges to live an alternate reality.
Anyway, that's the real me, without writing an entire auto-biography.
Hopefully it wasn't too boring. Anyway, if your still reading. Your a real trooper, and thanks for listening.
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