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Karamazov

It's movie time!

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by , 20th September 2013 at 11:00 AM (181 Views)
Did you know you can only have 15 drafts? I found this in my drafts and decided to publish it, so I could save a draft for my 5-Gen Pokemon team.
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While having my morning waffles, I flipped through the channels to see if I could catch Maury somewhere. Instead, I found a 2013 movie starring Erik Estrada. A movie that proves he's either desperate for work, or a movie that proves he's an absolute genius for picking this role.

It's Chupacabra vs the Alamo.


This movie has a lot of things going against it. First off, the effects are laughably bad. Just look at the Chupacabra.



It looks like an overgrown chihuahua with mange. When it's not dashing at your neck, it's running like my dad's chubby dog. This is a lesson to all horror films: if you don't have the budget to make a convincing monster, have it stick of the shadows or off-screen most of the time. It just makes the monster laughably bad, and no one can take it seriously.

The acting is pretty bad. Outside of Chad Krowchuk and Erik Estrada, everyone is average at best. Even Estrada has a few flat lines. Not that I blame them, because the movie is mind-numbing: it's either very dull, or generically badass. Which is a shame, because the movie seemed to try and avoid being this flat, putting in a bit of effort into their main cast's relationships. (Even though most of them were dull.)

The cheesy effects, bad acting and odd writing just add to the whole thing looking really tacky. And with a premise like this, it really makes the movie fall in the with the crappy Z-list movies stereotypes. It clearly tried to be something good and avoid the pitfall that these movies tend to get, but in the end, it was dull. At least the ending didn't have the mandatory twist ending. For that, I praise it.

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