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Currently Nameless Black Walkthrough: Part the First

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by , 9th March 2012 at 11:59 PM (229 Views)
I'm just gonna tell you guys right now, this playthrough's going to be the same shit as the first Black playthrough, except all the characters are going to be unpleasant. Very unpleasant.

Our story takes place in the redneck haven of Unova, Nuvema Town. The town with the lowest property value. Only notable thing about this place is Professor Aurea Juniper's laboratory. Which is often victim of theft. Damn local kids.



"Hey, wake up," Cheren said to me. He kicked me. "I said wake up, stupid poor kid."

I slowly slid out of my bed and threw on the nearest clothes. "What are you doing in my house?" I asked.
"We're getting our Pokemon today," Cheren said.
"Oh."



Cheren and I just stood there, staring at this large box on my desk. Addressed to us from Prof. Juniper, it preseumably contained our starting Pokemon.

"Sorry I'm late!" came the high-pitched squeal of Bianca. The chubby neighbor chick ran in, apologizing for being, well, late.

In a world full of people I hate, Bianca is the second person I hate the least. (The first being myself.) Mostly because she was also poor, and new what it was like to be bullied by Cheren. She was also an easy target, so both Cheren and I would often pass the time by throwing rocks at her.

"Fucking Bianca, man," Cheren sighed. "Alright, let's pick these Pokemon. I think I get first choice, because I actually researched these Pokemon for years."

Cheren always thought he was better than everyone. Just because he can buy brand name clothes and I have to steal my clothes from his laundry.

"I think Jack should get first pick," Bianca said to Cheren, giving me a smile. (Fuck are you staring at?)
"Damn right," I said indignantly. "It's my house."

I slapped Cheren in the face and moved to the box. It was time to pick a little bastard monster and begin my journey as a trainer.



Alright, kids, you know how this goes. I ask you to pick one of these starter Pokemon. You-all play on my Oshawott hate and vote for me to get it. So I'm just going to cut out the middle man and pick Oshawott already.

"But I wanted Oshawott..." Cheren whined.
"You can fucking have him," I said. "I wanted Tepig."

Alright, time to battle Bianca.

vs



"That'll do, pig," Bianca said as she recalled her Pokemon.

My room was trashed from the battle.

"God damn it," I sighed.

Alright, Cheren battle. Let's kick this smug little asshole where it hurts: in a Pokemon battle.

vs



Cheren recalled his Pokemon and said, "Whatever. I'm out."

Cheren and Bianca casually walked out of my house, not even bothering to help my mom clean up the mess. That reminded me...

"MA!" I called down the stairs.
"WHAT?" she screamed back.
"CLEAN MY ROOM!"
"DO IT YOURSELF, YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE!"
"IT'S YOUR FUCKING JOB!"
"WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR OWN JOB AND PAY SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT?" she bitched.
"I'M A TRAINER NOW!"
"AND I SUPPOSE YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME, JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER?"
"HE DIDN'T LEAVE. YOU PUT A RESTRAINING ORDER ON HIM!"
"I DID?"
"YEAH!"
"WHEN?" she asked.
"I dunno, like three months ago," I said. "When he set the jewelry store on fire with his Darmanitan?"
"Oh yeah! That was the day I won $10.00 on the scratch ticket!"

That was a good day. We bought Kanto Fried Tranquil that day.

And so, I was ready to embark on my journey to become a Pokemon Master....tomorrow. Right now, it's night. I don't want to get attacked by a fucking vampire.

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Comments

  1. 투 애니원's Avatar
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    I though you were going to pick Tepig :(
  2. UnovaCastaway's Avatar
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    Kanto Fried Tranquill made me LOL.
  3. Please Understand's Avatar
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    You win epic. ^_^
  4. Zenax's Avatar
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    And here I thought you were cool because you liked Tepig. I am disappoint.
  5. Lord Clowncrete's Avatar
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    Awesome, now nickname it Bitchtits.

    I think I'm gonna enjoy this one.
  6. Baron Dante's Avatar
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    Yeah, we all wanted you to have Tepig. :K

    Also, does this Darmanitan-owning father have something to do with Bianca's father who will be an asshole and come take you back to home?
  7. Froakie's Avatar
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    I would have said for you to get Tepig :B
  8. Double Team Douchebag's Avatar
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    uh

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