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Baron Brixius

  1. Bin Laden's Afterlife Surprise

    by , 14th May 2012 at 09:21 AM
    After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington.

    "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry comes up from behind: "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose. James Madison comes up next, and says, "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for ...
  2. Bush and Matzo Balls

    by , 12th May 2012 at 10:51 AM
    Ariel Sharon came to Washington for meetings with George W. and for a state dinner, Laura Bush decided to bring in a special Kosher chef and offer a truly Jewish meal.

    At the dinner that night, the first course served is matzo ball soup. George W. looks at this and after learning what it is called, he tells an aide that he can't eat such a gross and strange-looking brew. The aide says that Mr. Sharon will be insulted if he doesn't at least taste it. Not wanting to cause any trouble ...
  3. Coded Message

    by , 11th May 2012 at 12:01 PM
    After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George W. Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let the President know he was still in the game.

    Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:


    Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

    No one could solve ...
  4. Owned in Pokemon Red.

    by , 10th May 2012 at 12:41 PM

    After that the cartridge started to melt and Game Boy exploded right in my hands. Ouch.
  5. Famous Last Words

    by , 10th May 2012 at 09:49 AM
    Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion.

    Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Al pondered what he had just witnessed. Again before the order was ...
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