Annoying Forum Trends
by, 26th July 2011 at 02:38 AM (899 Views)
1. Pony avatars. I just don't get it. I mean, is what the pony's doing really... How does it even... I understand that you like the show, but... I guess that's your favorite character...? ... I just. Don't. Get it.
2. Revolving ponies/favorite Pokémon. Each revolving thing looks like it was rendered by Windows 98. It's tacky and overused. I really have no idea where this trend comes from.
3. So-called "bandwagons." Kids, only your closest of close friends/stalkers would even bother to read what you had for breakfast this morning or how often you fondle your nipples. Just don't waste your time filling out another list of arbitrary questions that reveal too much about yourself.
4. Pokémon that lick the "screen." I'm sure there's a name for this silly trend but it's too stupid for me to look up.
5. Blog posts about the insignificant events that occurred to you that day. Also, persistent updates on the petty things you consider entertainment. It's fine if you have a following that actually cares, but to tell the whole community about everything you do and like and watch is just frankly being an attention whore with no better method of expression. Try art instead.
6. This isn't really a trend, but it's all-too-common: Floating Egos. By which I mean, individuals who make it their life mission to get involved in each and every corner of the forums, surveying the cyberspace like some kind of omnipresent Internet deity. Some do it for prestige, others just for attention, but in the end they all the same grandeur complex. God have mercy on your soul if you offend them, for they will go on and on about how they fucking invented the forum and all their ass-kissing "friends" will make you a pariah.
7. Holy-fucking-flashing-nightmare-too-many-frames gif avatars. By which I mean, animated avatars that molest your field of vision whenever they're on-screen. They last about 2 seconds and repeat endlessly, usually with no meaning but only to its owner, and generally annoys everyone. Before you upload an epileptic horror of an avatar, blow it up real big and stare at it for 10 seconds. If your limbs are still functioning, click 'cancel'. However, some aren't seizure-inducers yet are as equally annoying and stupid. These typically last for months before the user does right to change it.
8. I'd probably include something about signatures, but I blocked them long ago. Most signatures of any forum are one of three types: random, so-out-of-context-that-they-mean-nothing-to-everyone-else quotes from the user's 'friends'; some personalized bullshit artwork with the username, or "I'm a [Togetic or some shit], I'm loyal and kind and perfect and better than you. Find your type at retardedquizzes.net". Also, sigs that are soooooo daaaaamn huuuuuge that it's like saying "HeytheonlywayIcanexpressmyselfiswithmassivelyunecessaryblocksofimagesandtextthatslowdownyourcompute rlikewe'reinCambodiaorsomething.Hereareaseriesofquotesandthingsthatyouwillcertainlynotfindinterestin gatall."
And so concludes this session of Unbundling that Pit of Rage: Giving Opinions in a Calm and Eloquent Manner. Thank you for joining me, and leave your comments below. Have a wonderful day.
P.S. If you are guilty of one of the acts above, don't fret! I judge acts, not people. Just try really hard to not do annoying things and you will no longer be annoying in my eyes. Food for thought.
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