That Blog: Improvvisamente, Sono Sposato!
by, 14th June 2012 at 04:11 AM (315 Views)
Why did I name this entry in Italian? Not a clue. Maybe I'm trying to be arty. The point I'm trying to convey is this: last night I had a dream about a wedding. Not just any wedding, but my own. To a guy.
Now, that's not unlikely to happen to me sometime in the future, but typically, if I were to dream of a wedding, it'd be between a man and a woman, simply because, as a child, I was taught that that was what weddings were. Especially since civil partnerships weren't legal here until 2005, and there's this raging parliament-vs.-church debate over gay marriage proper going on in the news right now, too.
If I may skew off on a tangent, I'd just like to comment that, in this day and age, in 2012, why should the church- one religion- have any right whatsoever to deny certain people certain rights? And why is the British Parliament actually paying them any attention? They're just feeding the trolls. But, as promised, I'm digressing.
So anyways, I had that dream, and all I can recall about my supposed husband is that he had blond hair. Now, there's a whole plethora of ways I could interpret this dream.
One rather base interpretation is that my dreamworld spouse-to-be is a representation of an old friend of mine who I haven't seen since- funnily enough- 2005, but that I said that I would phone later today. Why am I mentioning this as a possible interpretation? Because, when talking about him to my mother yesterday, I said-- and I quote-- "I love him like a brother." Now, I'm going to ignore the latter half of that quote because of the context of the dream. But the first three words? They could have triggered the dream (or at least the groom's appearance).
I used an online dream dictionary to look for meanings to it, too, and the most likely candidate from the possibilities I found told me that a wedding signifies that my life is about to make a significant change. This isn't wrong-- I'm moving house. And I pretty much finished packing yesterday, so that might have triggered the dream.
There were other parts of the dream that I used the internet to interpret, and what they boiled down to were representations that different aspects of my personality were beginning to harmonise (which is true, I guess; college will finally give my work life and social life to become interwebbed) and that I was being liberated from thoughts that were restricting me, or, the quote a bit more closely, being purified of depressing emotions and reservations.
Well, combine that with the nature of the dream- in effect, a gay wedding- and I come up with a rather strange moral indeed. What I'm reading into it is this: perhaps it's finally time to officially come out of the closet IRL. Because currently, in my real life, only one person besides me knows that I'm bisexual, and that person isn't even a part of my life anymore anyway.
...Who am I kidding? I don't have the emotional strength to do that. I suppose I'll just stick to my original plan of letting my parents discover my orientation if I find a suitable boyfriend, rather than a girlfriend. But with variables like that, it's likely that they'll never find out.
And if you'll excuse me, I'd like to descend into private, personal thoughts on this matter. So that's all to be read here for now. Ciao, and all that.
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