That Blog: Bored, Lonely and Unwanted. Oh, and Angry.
by, 3rd July 2012 at 08:11 AM (1098 Views)
Without getting too sentimental, that more or less sums up my online presence right about now. I don't want to go on a rant about my own shortcomings or the inadequacies of others, but sometimes, it's just too hard to be nice, you know?
If I were being nice, then I'd say, rather vaguely, that the root cause of my current state of affairs is that I have nothing to do. Not untrue. Not untrue at all. But I'm not in the mood for putting a politically-correct smile on everything. In truth, I've got a whole bunch of grievances to air.
Let's begin with the trivial. I bet that, not five minutes after I post this, someone else will post a blog entry that consists of no more than two or three non-serious sentences written in capital letters that might as well have just not been posted at all. And that will be the 'featured blog entry' for the next seven hours. I'm not hungry for attention; I just find it insulting that I spend so much time and effort on these long, essay-like blog posts, and yet they don't get a moment of advertisement, because someone else has decided to write 'BLAHDEBLAHDEBLAH HUR HUR HUR AREN'T I FUNNY' and post that for no reason whatsoever. Perhaps they're trolling. Perhaps this is the reaction they want. Perhaps they're stupid. Or, in politically-correct fairness, maybe they just don't have anything better to do. Or perhaps they won't, because, unlike when this has happened to me every time before, I'm exposing a more emotionally negative side that, out of context, portrays me as a total prima donna. But I digress. Either way, they can't have anything better to do than strategically time their pointless blog posts to irritate the more serious ones among us.
Don't get me wrong; I have the utmost respect for those who, like me, actually take time to write something worth the time it takes to both write and read, and if that's the next person to post, then fair play to them. But only if it is someone who has chosen to post, despite having other things to do, and chosing to do so for the true value of posting, and not due to a lack of other forms of entertaining social input.
Which ties in quite nicely with my next issue. I'm bored and am void of anything better to do than rant. Bored, bored, bored. So what? you may ask. Go and cry me a river. Why should I care? I'll tell you why you should care: because you obviously care enough to read my blog. So nuts to you.
But why am I bored? For the same reason I'm feeling lonely and unwanted. I don't want to point the finger at anyone, but m'colleague just isn't posting in our project (you know the one I mean), so my effectual internet livelihood* has, at least for the moment, been stifled. It hasn't stopped altogether (thank fuck) but it certainly feels like it's about to, at any second. Is it my fault for having nothing better to do with my time? Well, that could be partly to blame, but hello? I'm not the one who's abstaining from posting. That's a pretty solid reason right there.
And if you're reading this, m'colleague, two things. First, this has been brewing for a while, and second: don't worry, I'm sure you won't read this at all, given that you seem to care less about me with each passing day, never mind what I have to say in my blog or what goes on in my day-to-day life, and given that you're the type to say 'fuck it- tl;dr'- so don't take it personally. Yes, it's a criticism. But I'm in a bad mood. And like the trolls of the BMGf blog section, I have nothing better to write. If I were being civil, perhaps I'd have written all of this in British Saurian, but I just cannot be bothered converting all of those 0s into Ys and Ůs, so I'll just complain in English, and you're going to deal with it.
I wouldn't mind so much, as I'd gladly allow m'colleague however much holiday from the project he desires. But it's not that he's holidaying. He's flat-out ignoring me. I appreciate that he might want a break, but the least he could do is tell me. Maybe then I wouldn't hypothesise and come up with rants like these. Because ranting thusly is the bane of the loquacious. And loquacious I most certainly am. But what irked me most was that, at 4.08AM British time, he sent a VM to someone in another RP criticising them for not posting. So, yeah. I'm being neglected without explanation. I reserve the right to be pissed off.
Essentially, if I've offended anyone, I seriously don't care. Or, let's put it this way: I care about that as much as people care about me. In other words, not at all. I'm discontent. Deal with it. And if you're going to criticise me, save your breath. Criticise someone else. I'm not in the mood for it.
*And by livelihood, I do mean it. The project has come to mean so much to me that, A) without it, I really have nothing to do, and B) I'd sooner die than have it prematurely end before it reaches its actual conclusion. Yes, I'm that much of a fucking nutjob.