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Super Seaking

Burn Satan!

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by , 1st August 2011 at 08:07 PM (358 Views)
I have determined that my bike is possessed by the devil.

It has had...

1. Two broken pedals
2. Broken handlebars
3. A wobbly seat
4. Three flat tires

All of this since summer vacation started....DX

I mean, its obviously possessed. Thats the only reasonable explanation. Theres about a 9.56% chance of it being my fault.


.....anyone have any holy water?

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  1. GatoRage's Avatar
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    Nah, Budha is the one who like's to fuck with other people's bicycles.
    Satan is more into people-possession and such.
    Updated 1st August 2011 at 08:29 PM by GatoRage
  2. Bishie Karis-chan's Avatar
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    1. Two broken pedals
    2. Broken handlebars
    3. A wobbly seat
    4. Three flat tires


    ...don't bikes only have two tires?
  3. Kamex's Avatar
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    He probably meant that he's had a flat tire three times.
  4. Super Seaking's Avatar
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    Yeah, what Kamex said.

    Specifically, the back tire has gone flat three times. x_x
  5. Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Maybe it's an Autobot trying to transform, but is too damaged. Or a Decepticon that was beat silly.
  6. Milo†icgirl McQüeen's Avatar
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    Judas is the demon I cling to......
  7. Missingno. Master's Avatar
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    I doubt your bike is possessed by Satan. In fact, here's the top ten ways to tell whether or not your bike is possessed by Satan:

    10: The tires go flat every time you ride past a church.

    9: It seems to ride a little easier once every six hundred sixty-six miles.

    8: The seat becomes particularly wobbly whenever you pray.

    7: The front wheel is prone to turning suddenly in a way that sends you and the bike rolling into oncoming traffic.

    6: Priests take one look at the bike and do everything they can to avoid you.

    5: Every person you've ever said "Damn you" to has ended up sustaining a bike-related injury.

    4: The bike seems to ride better if you sacrifice small animals to it before riding.

    3: You've never been able to get the bike moving immediately after attending church.

    2: You can never seem to find it whenever there's a particularly nasty car accident taking place.

    1: The squeaks from the wheels almost sound like a voice saying "worship me".