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A bit of a problem

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by , 14th August 2012 at 05:32 PM (287 Views)
Long post ahead...

So there's this guy I've known for a a couple years, but not very well. He's liked me for at least a year now, and it's no secret -- I'm pretty sure half our grade knows. For some reason, he got the impression that we're best buddies and keeps coming to me for life advice. He has some personal issues going on, and keeps following me around school and making phone calls, trying to get my help. He's been doing this for a full year. Frankly, it's making me really uncomfortable, and I never know how to respond. I want him to be happy, but I'm not his therapist and I don't feel that it's my job to be, especially since I barely know him. If I tell this to him gently, he doesn't pick up the hint. If I tell it to him firmly, he gets really offended and then I feel bad. If I actually give him advice, he rejects everything I have to say and gets frustrated. (Which is why I don't give advice anymore.) There is literally no pleasing this guy.

He also has a rather deep obsession with me, looking over my shoulder in computer studies class seriously every 10 mins even I though sat way across the room from him (I asked him politely on multiple occasions to please stop and focus on his own work, but he...didn't stop.) And often he would find me at lunch and squeeze in between me and my friends which was kind of awkward...And like with the advice, he either doesn't pick up the hint or gets really offended whenever I ask for a little personal space. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. I'd rather cope with the unwanted attention than the whole life advice problem though.

He just made another phone call today and I think I pissed him off again when I said that he should turn to guidance for help. This whole situation has really put a damper on last year and I'm not looking forward to more of it when school starts. :/ He still thinks we're BFFs, no matter what I say. Honestly, I don't even want to be his friend, as I find him disagreeable and hard to get along with (personal problems entirely aside). I feel like an asshole saying all of this and I'm probably not the victim here but yeah. Just needed to get this off my chest. I don't expect to get any help (cause I seriously can't think of any solutions myself) but if you're reading this, thanks for listening.

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  1. Karamazov's Avatar
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    Honestly, I think being firm is the best course of action. You don't want to hurt him, but you have to be clear and put your foot down. He might get upset for a while, but that's better than having him ruin your whole year. Plus, a good talking to would help him realize how he's acting.
  2. Takaki's Avatar
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    He could be pretty sensitive about things and get quite attached so before you do anything you should probably consult an adult (maybe your teacher who knows what he's like) about what you should do so that whatever action you take doesn't completely demoralise this boy.
  3. Jack Pschitt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karamazov
    Honestly, I think being firm is the best course of action. You don't want to hurt him, but you have to be clear and put your foot down. He might get upset for a while, but that's better than having him ruin your whole year. Plus, a good talking to would help him realize how he's acting.
    I agree with Mazov (or Kara, or whatever the hell people call you for short). Feeling like an ass for a while is fine as long as he realizes what's really on your mind. Be firm, but not rude or insulting. You need to get your thoughts out, unbridled. After you've spoken your mind, just try to lighten things up a bit and be a little warmer to him, too. Don't end on a sour note.

    Hope everything works out. :D
  4. Karamazov's Avatar
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    Oh yeah, forgot to tell you. Same thing happened to me in grade 11. At first the girl ditched school and ran home (yes, ran. I was chasing after her, so she ran.) But she came back the next day and talked to the guidance counseller, and everything worked out for the most part. We also got to stay friends.
  5. Fennel's Avatar
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    Okay, thanks for the advice everyone.

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