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The Corrupt Bargain

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by , 17th December 2011 at 12:59 PM (293 Views)
And now, an explanation of the Corrupt Bargain, which took place in the back halls of Washington while no one was watching.

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

Do, do, do, do, do.
Do, do, do, do, do.
Do, do, do, do, do, do do.

John Calhoun says,

CALHOUN:

We need to find a scheme to keep the power in the hands of the chosen few.

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

John Quincy Adams says,

QUINCY ADAMS:

If my dad was president, I should get to be president too.

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

Henry Clay says,

CLAY:

I’ll make you president if you make me Secretary of State.

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

Alexis de Tocqueville says something in French that none of us can translate.
Wooh!

Do, do, do, do.
Do, do, do, do.
Do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do.
Do, do, do, do.
Do, do, do, do.

All you educated people, you can talk of liberty.
But do you really want the American people running their own country?
Ooh!

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

Do, do, do, do.
Do, do, do.
Do, do, do.
Do, do, do.
Do, do, do.
Do, do, do,

John Quincy Adams says,

QUINCY ADAMS:

If we steal the election, then Jackson will surely cave.

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

John Calhoun says,

CALHOUN:

You can be president if you don’t try to take away my slaves.

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

Henry Clay says,

CLAY:

You’ll get Missouri ‘cause I know how to play real politick.

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

James Madison said something prescient about this but he was kind of a dick.
Let’s dance!

KATE, NADIA, EMILY, CALHOUN, QUINCY ADAMS, and CLAY:

Do, do, do, do.
Do, do, do, do.
Do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do.
Do, do, do, do.
Do, do, do, do.

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

You can compromise all you want, they’re still drunk and smell like pee.
Do you really want America run by a man from Tennessee?

John Quincy Adams,

QUINCY ADAMS:

The people are stupid!

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

Henry Clay,

HENRY CLAY:

They can all go rot!

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

John Calhoun,

CALHOUN:

They’re lame!

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

Quincy Adams,

QUINCY ADAMS:

They suck!

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

Henry Clay,

CLAY:

Jackson’s a total twat!

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

John Calhoun,

CALHOUN:

These guys are idiots but it’s Jackson who’s a real threat.

KATE, NADIA, and EMILY:

I’m sure Michel Foucault would have an opinion but he hasn’t been born yet.

Jackson is a loser.
Jackson is a loser.
Jackson is a loser.
Jackson is a loser.


I’m the president!

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