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Wondrous League Works Wondrous Wonders: Fortuitous Fortunes 4 Freakin' Free, Fellas!

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(Message originally posted by League on 27th September 2011 at 09:00 PM. This is effectively post #006. Message moved for purposes of League.)

My friends, I have decided that it will be an utter travesty if I don't apply my talents, for the plain ol' betterment of the world and all who inhabit it. To display the earnestness and wholeheartedness of my purposes, I have chosen to deny all forms of monetary payment and reward.

So, if you comment here, I will give you advice, purpose, fortune, meaning, and direction. I will tell you something that can't possibly mean anything to anybody but you. It may not be what you think you need to hear, but it will indeed be. It might not be good for this or any soon-upcoming event, but it will eventually be worth something--maybe even everything.

Comment below to impel me. League has spoken.

Note: Liking this post will cause a notable decrease in the miserableness of your life and future.**

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Special Promotional Offer:

Bring a friend, direct his path! Recommend a lost traveler to this post, and it shall be well with you! His fortune shall verily be your fortune! Limited time offer, offer ends soon.

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Updated 26th October 2011 at 03:56 AM by League

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Comments

  1. Zhwoobatte's Avatar
    Hello?
  2. League's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Zhwoobatte.
    Hello?
    You shall meet the love of your life... in the next one. You have liked the qualifying post, and it shall be well with you.

    Go on, my son, and do not waste away this life searching for the love that is not, or not yet to be.

    League has spoken.
  3. Roserade299909's Avatar
    tell me my fortune.
  4. League's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by buggabo99909
    tell me my fortune.
    It is well with you that you have liked the first post, else you'd be struck by lightning for your seemingly impertinent tone.

    But I am forgiving, as can be fate. Speaking of, you have made a terrible mistake, and you have not even realized it. Merely apologize to Charlie or Billy (the stars are foggy, but it is one of the two...), and all wrong shall be diluted to slightly better, slightly more right, slightly less wrong, wrong.

    League has spoken.
  5. Master Mew's Avatar
    My life is already miserable, so I see no need to 'Like' this post.
  6. League's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Master Mew
    My life is already miserable, so I see no need to 'Like' this post.
    I think you have misread the statement--in fact, such action is very fit for you, and would good become you.

    @Clowncrete Clowncrete, you have done good, and well shall become you for your well action.

    League has spoken.
  7. Serperiority's Avatar
    Okay League, here goes.
    Updated 28th September 2011 at 09:33 PM by Serperiority
  8. TFSpock's Avatar
    Can I haz fortune? :I
  9. League's Avatar
    @TFSpock Spock, you have liked the first post, and it shall be well with you. As a bonus, you shall receive two fortunes:

    1) Say yes to the first baby girl you meet. While to you and others it may sound like she is speaking babble, she is actually speaking Babel, the language of the ancient Babylonians. (And yes, this little girl will understand English, and your answer. And yes, the ancient people of Babylon called their language "Babel.") She shall remember your answer, even after you long think my fortune is nonsense.

    2) If 3 options stand before you, and they can be distinguished or designated by color--go with the yellow one. Normally, I'd recommend the orange option in these cases, but the voices are expressly adamant about this matter.

    @Serperior99 Serperior, you who go by the name of a prince of pokemon, shall here receive direction. On another day in the future, once you decide that my fortune is simply too good to not consider, can, when the time is optimal, perform this rite:
    First, go forward 3 feet--make sure that there is no wall or obstacle 3 feet in front of you though first, as my fortunes are not for fools. Then, turn your feet left 17 degrees. Now, walk backwards looking not backwards 18 feet.

    You can come back and thank me once the new best day of your life is over, for such shall the day that you perform this rite verily be.
  10. Kyumorph's Avatar
    On. Bring it.
  11. League's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Kyumorph
    On. Bring it.
    Hmm, well, yes... as a certified mystic, I must say that your reply and tone are baffling. Nevertheless, on "it" shall I "bring."

    You have liked the first post, and it shall be well with you.

    I shall give you a "meaning"--when that strange "e-ahh" bird found in the state of Virginia makes that strange cry, it is really a weakened djinn-spirit imprisoned in ugly bird form calling for help. If you know this bird of which I speak, I'd suggest searching for it. If not, spend some time in Virginia or other place where this cry may be heard, and you'll recognize the cry immediately.

    Aid this creatures, and what wonderful wonders you shall find yourself in wonder at!

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