'there are sores which solely erode the mind in solitude like a sort of canker'
by, 12th September 2012 at 12:24 AM (182 Views)
i've been writing a bit recently - nothing particularly good, just some silly posts about myself that i write on my fb newsfeed sometimes. here's some stuff that i wrote:
the jeremiad, pt. iii (pt. ii was deleted – i’ll put it up later, but it’s an angry ramble on who i am). you know the way this goes: random ridiculous thoughts everywhere and nearly totally incoherent words. "the whorl is in all things." turns out that i actually have something to say sometimes. just kidding! i just like to write sometimes so i subject my friends to reading these things. sorry for flooding you with status updates i guess.
this was going to be my one-thousandth wall post, but i have no idea how many times i’ve posted. i can’t be too far off, though. i wrote a plurality of this on my mobile, so there are bound to be some typos. i chopped, twisted, and added a few parts to this because i wanted to be a lexical contortionist, so this isn’t really stream of consciousness, but more so an entropic farrago of immediate impressions and afterthoughts.
the only disclaimer i will give you is that there will be no mentions, no tagging, no learning, none of that foolishness that is my wont. all love~ <3carmen 16, a poem written by gaius catullus, has the opening line: “i will sodomize and face-fuck you.” it’s supposed to be this really important poem displaying how vulgarity is all in the eyes of the beholder or something like that. i didn’t really enjoy the poem, but i thought it was odd how an english version wasn’t published until the late twentieth century.
just a few silly things that i've been writing recently.for the past week, i've intermittently asked myself if i am incapable of loving anyone, myself included. i've come to the conclusion that i'm definitely capable of loving people, but it's hard for me. the question sometimes seizes me like a nightmare that is all too real. love is one of the most confusing, terrifying feelings that i know. my emotional spectrum is a depth that i haven't explored sufficiently: i can't fathom how or why people can be so affected by simple incidents or feelings, and i can't comprehend why i am subject to the occasional violent passion. i suppose that it's just me being a teenager and that these are passing feelings. i don't really know what else to say, but i feel okay most of the time. i just want to know myself better than i do now because as it stands, i'm confused as to who i am. whatever. "what we cannot speak of we must pass over in silence."
i like quoting people a lot because they can fill in the gaps that i leave in my writing. wittgenstein was a baller. i think he had sex with dudes in the park. then he went to teach.
alan turing, one of the progenitors of computer science, was forced to undergo chemical castration because it was proven that he had sexual relations with another man. he killed himself by lacing an apple with cyanide. i always thought that was interesting, especially since apple's logo is an apple with a bite taken out of it. supposedly steve jobs denied any connection, but that's a little too coincidental not to pique one's interest.
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