Dealing with a anxiety/panic disorder
by, 22nd January 2012 at 11:15 PM (451 Views)
On the outside, people would think my life is just fine and dandy. I'm a college student, a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter, a moderator, a friend, an enemy, or whatever. But on the inside, there's a whole different story to me. Everyday, I suffer, face and neck tingling, stomach troubles, rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, fatigue, depression, among other things. Anxiety has always been a part of my life, but only recently has it decided to show it's true colors. Anxiety used to show up only when something was going on, but now and days, it seems to occur over the simplest of things. Things like family issues, school, relationship troubles, etc. all are logical reasons for anxiety. Not things like what time it is, or what I'm going to eat for lunch. Those type of things shouldn't give me the amount of anxiety that they do. Heck, they shouldn't make me feel anxious at all. It's the fact that I have to face this multiple times a day. Simple things that people tend to overlook, cause me some of the most anxiety. It's hard living this way. Feeling exhausted, tired, sleepy, nervous, jittery, panicky, upset....that's not how anyone should face the day. There are some days where my anxiety is so bad that I just wonder why this is happening to me. Other times, I can stop the anxiety by simply putting my mind on something else. Like with most other things, it has it's good days and it's bad days. I have to live moment by moment, usually. It can be so severe that I've had to miss school because of the panic attacks.
I have manic depression as well as this anxiety/panic disorder. I was diagnosed when I was 12 years old. I've been put on anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medication, and this thing still occurs. It's not supposed to entirely get rid of my anxiety, but help me better control and cope with it. I've been to therapy before as well, but I'm going to go back again. My psychiatrist suggested therapy, for it should make a lot of my anxiety disappear, and teach me new coping skills. I'm hoping this new therapist works out, because the last one sure didn't help me any. I've also tried listening to music, talking with people, playing video games, writing my thoughts down, got a higher dosage of my medicine...just about everything to ease my anxiety and its symptoms. Not much has helped. So, I've started going to church more and started praying more. I can say that it's working. My symptoms aren't as bad, but I still have my moments when I just have to tough it out.
I don't expect many people to understand what it is like to have an anxiety disorder, nor do I expect any of you guys to think differently of me. It is what it is, and I just have to take my life a few moments at a time, rather than a day at a time. This isn't some stupid gimmick to get attention, or whatever. It's a real condition, and I just feel like making people aware of what it is, and how it affects people(even though it's only by my experience). People usually just say "Get over it. It's all in your head". Well, that is true, but it's much more complicated than that. It's not something you can just "get over". It takes time, and treatment. Some people may never get over it, but some people can. It all depends on whether or not you want to get better.
Here's some things that go along with anxiety disorder:
Weight Loss (or in some cases, weight gain)
Fear of things beyond your control
Feelings of impending doom
Shortness of Breath
Tingling in face, neck, or head.
Changes in bowel habits
Intense feelings of panic (like having to run away, escape, etc.)
Dysphagia (Basically, too much air in your body)
Unusually tired, fatigued, etc.
Balding of the scalp (losing hair)
All of these are associated with anxiety, and an anxiety disorder. There are many more of these symptoms out there. The frequency and the severity vary from person to person. But if these symptoms are affecting you and interfering with your everyday life, you should consult a physician. Just to make sure there's nothing more severe going on.
I just felt like saying my peace about this demon that I'm fighting now, and I know that I'll be able to overcome it in the future. It's only a matter of time. I know that God can bring me through this. He's brought me through many things before. He'll do it again.
Anyways, I'll leave this here. Feel free to comment.
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