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How to Make Tea: From someone who can do it right

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by , 23rd January 2013 at 08:01 AM (471 Views)
Hello ladies and gentlemen, my blog today is a lesson in how to make a cup of tea. Many times have I experienced heartache from hearing how somebody makes a cup of tea incorrectly. None of that milk on top of the teabag whilst it's still in the mug nonsense. None of this "teabags must have tags" poppycock, and especially none of this "Earl Grey tea no milk and honey" balderdash...

The perfect tea comes with choosing the perfect ingredients. Semi Skimmed milk is the only milk worth having, and Cravendale whilst pushing the budget a little is simply superior to your average bottled milk.

First, assemble ingredients.


Next, take your teabag out of the box. This would normally go straight into the mug, but for documentation purposes, I have placed it on top of the box of the superior brand of tea bags to any others you will find - PG Tips.


After the kettle has boiled, pour in the water on top of the tea bag. This bit doesn't take much skill, but if you mess it up be prepared to suffer the highest consequences.


Drain the teabag by squeezing it against the side of your mug using the spoon. Make sure to do it enough times so you feel satisfied. Next, place the required amount of sugar into your tea. I like two spoons, tea without sugar is a tea not worth having, but too much can cause an unpleasant experience as you reach the bottom of the mug.


After stirring in the sugar to let dissolve, pour in the milk. Look fondly at your mug as the milk and tea swirl together in a mesmerising and picturesque spiral of happiness. Soon they will mix, and soon you can drink.


Your tea is done. Your work is done.


Sit back, relax and enjoy!
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Comments

  1. Oswin's Avatar
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    @jda95;

    This is how it's done properly.
  2. Dragonfyre's Avatar
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    Before I scrolled down fully (when I could only see the tops of the containers) I thought this was a joke blog that actually taught you how to make poisonous tea from household cleaners.

    Okay. As someone who has never had teabag tea in her life (never. only the iced, "is-this-really-tea???" sort), this definitely made me curious.
    Black Dragon likes this.
  3. jda95's Avatar
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    but where is the tag
  4. Narcisse's Avatar
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    Nooooooo no no no Noooo.

    PG Tips is baaaaad.

    And any skimmed or semi-skimmed milk is pure, unadulterated evil.

    AND sugar after milk. Always sugar after milk.
  5. HumanDawn's Avatar
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    Okay now, how much did you get paid for advertising the products?
    Black Dragon likes this.
  6. Froakie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Confidemus
    Nooooooo no no no Noooo.

    PG Tips is baaaaad.

    And any skimmed or semi-skimmed milk is pure, unadulterated evil.

    AND sugar after milk. Always sugar after milk.
    Nope, PG Tips is best

    Full-fat milk is literally fatty cream

    And no, the sugar won't dissolve properly if the milk has cooled the tea down

    ur wrong!!!!!!!!!1
  7. Kaori's Avatar
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    I agree with you on everything except YOUR PEASANT MILK
  8. Bouffalant Herdier's Avatar
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    Too much work. I want a quick drink, not use up more energy than I would in a Marathon. :P
    Black Dragon likes this.
  9. Green Zubat's Avatar
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    You know, I totally knew you were a student from those pics without even looking at your profile; you have the same counter-tops & strip lighting we had in our student accomo, haha.
    Froakie likes this.
  10. GatoRage's Avatar
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    What a fizzgoggling guide I must try this at once. loljk
    Zeb and Black Dragon like this.
  11. Bishie Karis-chan's Avatar
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    I guess I'm a weirdo for drinking all of my tea straight; no milk, no sugar, just cooled with a single ice cube (dissolved ofc) so it doesn't burn my tongue. ._.
  12. Neon Borealis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Camila
    I guess I'm a weirdo for drinking all of my tea straight; no milk, no sugar, just cooled with a single ice cube (dissolved ofc) so it doesn't burn my tongue. ._.
    You are not the only one. I like my tea sugarless and milkless most of the time.

    ... I'm a weirdo.
  13. Mako's Avatar
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    You used balderdash. Your blog is irrelevant.

    Also coffee > tea.
  14. Paperhorse's Avatar
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    @Froakie; This is the best blog I have ever read.
    Froakie likes this.

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