Afraid of changes
by, 2nd September 2013 at 03:18 PM (258 Views)
Today was the first day of school for my younger cousin, he's already a junior in high school and I can't believe it. Even my other cousin is in eight grade, she is not that crazy little girl anymore. I mean, she's still crazy, but she's grown up. They've both grown up and so have I and things just aren't like they used to be.
And it's strange because it feels like it was just yesterday we were playing around outside, and now everything has changed. I miss my past and I'm terrified of my future. Time has passed by so quickly. I've met many people and said goodbye to many as well. As soon as I start getting comfortable around people I've grown to like, I'm forced to move into a completely different environment with new people. Eventually, I'll start liking those people too but at the same time, we will all have to move on. Things will never stay the same.
What's going to happen? Will I finish college? Will I manage to get a job when I do? What kind of future awaits me? Will I find a girlfriend? It's like I can't stop dwelling over my past and thinking about my future at the same time.
We all have to move on.
Will I stay a great Pokémon fan? Will I keep visiting these forums? Am I going to leave eventually, say goodbye to all the friends I've made?
I'm terrified. All of this will most likely to be gone one day and that's why I hate changes. As good as those past times were, they disappeared staying only in my memories. It's also why I hate goodbyes. Saying goodbye to things I've grown accustomed to, things I've gained the habit of doing every day.
I wish there was just present. No past, no future. Just now.
Because I don't want it to go away. Any of it.
Sorry, I had to write it down. I'm just feeling strange, that's all.
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