by, 8th February 2012 at 11:49 AM (365 Views)
Hey. Sorry I haven't been on in a while, but I've been busy. One of the main things that's been on my mind is who I am.
So, here goes nothing...
Since I was four years old, I have been interested in members of both sexes. At the time I thought nothing of it, since I didn't even know what LGBT people were. Then, in middle school, before I really started thinking about sex at all, people started teasing me for being "Gay" or a "(I don't want to write down this word)". Middle school was HELL. When I hit puberty, I didn't think about anyone but girls for a few years. Then, in sophomore year, this REALLY cute guy showed up at school. This was the first time I had EVER thought about a man in a romantic way. (I had, however, been thinking how nice it would be if I were bi all throughout middle school, because then I could be with a guy. Why the hell did it take so long for me to figure it out?) I kinda dismissed it for the whole year, until the end of year trip, where we shared a tent. I also learned that he was gay. For some reason, this made me very happy. Then, when we got back, there was this guy who looked nothing like him there to welcome him back. I assumed that that was his boyfriend, and I got depressed. Anyways, after seeing him, I started getting attracted to other guys. I started reading Yaoi. And I started seriously considering the possibility that I may not be straight. I've been wrestling with this issue for about a year now for several reasons. Middle school was hell, and even though I have nothing against LGBT people, the idea that what the bullies were saying could be true was difficult. I still have a sort of mental block there. I was also conflicted because I wanted so very much for this to be true that I thought that my desire to like guys might be what's making me like guys. Finally, after looking back on my life and telling my brain to shut up, I realized WHY I wanted so desperately to like guys. BECAUSE I WAS BI. This has prompted some new questions.
First off, should I tell my friends? They're all VERY supportive of LGBT people, but I feel it might make things a little bit awkward. Also, I have no clue how I would do it. Just saying "I'm Bi." seems impossible. Then again, coming out to my parents was easy (if kinda awkward).
Anyways, I'm coming out and saying it. I'm Bi-sexual. I'm also asking for advice about what I should do about my friends. (Also, should I try asking out the guy I (still) have a crush on?) Please respond.
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