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Hear me out guys! episode 1

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What if in one Zelda game deconstructed the Rival trope. So Like:

Link is trying to save the day and shit and suddenly some asshole with Shonen Hair pops up and he's like "You're a well known swordsmen and I going to beat to level up my rating" and Link like "Okay fine" and Link wins and spikey hair guy like "Gar you're my rival now!". So then 4-7 times throughout the game you're doing something really urgent and he pops up like one time the NPC's all "you have to find the antidote to her poison. HURRY" and then the Rival pops out of nowhere and is like "You're my rival Link let's duel" and Link's all like "FUCK OFF! Not now" and he's all "Yes now". So like at the end of the game Link's goes to Ganon's Chamber but Ganon's all beat up and the rival's there and all "I beat Ganon I'm better than you now we will duel but this time to the death". So Link beat's rival dude and rival dude's all "I won't give up!" so Link kills him and he's like "I died with honor" "No you threw your life away like an asshole" "Soon I'll be in Valhalla" and Link's all "There is no fucking Valhalla" "How you know?" "Okay there probably not a Valhalla" "YAAY! VALHALLA *coughs dies*. So then Ganon gets back up and He's "MWAHAHAHAHA! Hope you're not too weaken from your fight!". So Link turns to his rival's corpse and he calmly says "You fucking dick".

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  1. Bolt the Cat's Avatar
    No. Just no.
  2. PhilosophyPhlare's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Bolt the Cat
    No. Just no.
    To what? The valley girl mannerisms? It was hyperactive to color the story in your mind. Link swearing and talking? I'm not actually suggesting that it is just to illustrate the story. An anime rival being out in place in Zelda? UFO's and Mario nuff said. Human character dying at the hands of the hero? Pretty sure that has been done before. Too unsympathetic of a character? Got me there...

    But it was funny huh?
  3. Bolt the Cat's Avatar
    No to everything. The whole concept feels inorganic to the series (a rival could possibly work, but not like this at all).

    And it wasn't really that funny.
  4. PhilosophyPhlare's Avatar
    A cartoony expressive characters have been done a lot in the series. The thought of obsessed with fighting and winning character being taken to rediculous extremes not doing it for you. I'm really not sure if I'm being serious or not. I guess I like my idea but just threw it in to Zelda for absurdity.


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