Hear me out guys! episode 1
by, 4th November 2013 at 11:57 PM (247 Views)
What if in one Zelda game deconstructed the Rival trope. So Like:
Link is trying to save the day and shit and suddenly some asshole with Shonen Hair pops up and he's like "You're a well known swordsmen and I going to beat to level up my rating" and Link like "Okay fine" and Link wins and spikey hair guy like "Gar you're my rival now!". So then 4-7 times throughout the game you're doing something really urgent and he pops up like one time the NPC's all "you have to find the antidote to her poison. HURRY" and then the Rival pops out of nowhere and is like "You're my rival Link let's duel" and Link's all like "FUCK OFF! Not now" and he's all "Yes now". So like at the end of the game Link's goes to Ganon's Chamber but Ganon's all beat up and the rival's there and all "I beat Ganon I'm better than you now we will duel but this time to the death". So Link beat's rival dude and rival dude's all "I won't give up!" so Link kills him and he's like "I died with honor" "No you threw your life away like an asshole" "Soon I'll be in Valhalla" and Link's all "There is no fucking Valhalla" "How you know?" "Okay there probably not a Valhalla" "YAAY! VALHALLA *coughs dies*. So then Ganon gets back up and He's "MWAHAHAHAHA! Hope you're not too weaken from your fight!". So Link turns to his rival's corpse and he calmly says "You fucking dick".
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