by, 3rd February 2012 at 01:04 AM (185 Views)
If the title didn't clue you in, I am going on a hiatus here on BMGf.
I haven't mentioned this, but to those of you who aren't aware, I have been working on a variety of different projects over the past few days. Namely, a variety of somber and even somewhat nihilistic poems, a game set in a bleak, post-apocalyptic setting, a series of songs about cannibalistic ponies, and a fic about someone going insane about the loss of the girl he loved and trying to destroy all of existence, not to mention Trebloome, Azatiir, and various other RPs that have similarly dark tones.
I can't even explain it fully, but when I work on something, the mood or feelings of the piece of work tend to become reflected onto me. And, seeing all of the above things I have going at once, this has had adverse effects on my demeanor. Things that I had once found humorous or joyful have simply lost their meaning. I feel nothing. And no, that isn't just a philosophical statement; I really do feel nothing, except for the depression that I have surrounded myself with.
So, I'm taking a break from BMGf.
I sincerely apologize if this inconveniences anything, but I'm not kidding. Writing all of that stuff is depressing. If I continue on, it's a very likely occurrence that it will stray out of the corner of my mind that I keep it locked in.
Now, don't be concerned, I am not depressed. At least, I don't think I am, and I sincerely hope I'm not. What I'm doing here is me taking a measure in preventing something like that from happening. I know that this seems really out of the blue, me being a self-proclaimed Ruler of All things Dark and all, but if you were working on the aforementioned projects for well over a month, then it might get to you, too.
I don't know when I'll be back. I'm being vague, yes, but considering the sheer amount of depressing works that I have surrounded myself with, it's going to take a while to get them out of the front of my thoughts. Every single day for the past week or so, those things were almost exclusively in my head. And, given the subject matter, I don't think I want to keep it that way. In short, my hiatus will be as long as it takes to get these things off of my brain.
Once again, sorry if I'm inconveniencing anyone by leaving, but trust me, you don't want me to be full-on depressed. If you thought my stuff was dark enough as is, try looking at some of the things that I write when I actually believe in the nihilistic and bleak style I'm known for. It isn't pretty.
Too long, didn't read? I'm taking a break, I have no clue when I'll be back, and it's because I've been writing some really, really depressing stuff. Don't expect to hear much from me, even on Skype and other related methods of communication.
And with that, my friends, I say goodbye until our paths meet again. Mantenere vivo il fuoco, i miei amici.
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