The Absolute Worse
by, 22nd May 2013 at 02:02 AM (651 Views)
I've been on the internet for many years, and as such have been exposed to a lot of what it has to offer. I've decided to give myself a reason to blog, I'm going to start writing a daily blog about internet culture. The good parts of it, the bad parts of it, and the parts where furries and bronies and other riffraff congregate. To start off my series of critiques of internet culture, I'm going to be writing a list of the worst things on the internet and publishing one every five or six hours.
So, without further ado, here is the first entry (and definitely the worst entry) on my list of Terrible Things on the Internet
The biggest, worse thing on the internet? Indisputably bronies. Fat, smelly, fedora-clad masses of twenty something males fervently clutching Fluttershy plushies thinking they're superior for liking a girls cartoon made with adobe flash. That's a stereotype, yeah, but they exist for a reason (inb4 HURR DATS A CULTURAL MYTH ASSHAT CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE). A tweet I read summed it up perfectly. "right now in the world a sweaty redditor with half a toy pony jammed up his ass is using the term 'fake gamer girl' in full seriousness". That's maybe the truest tweet I ever read. It sums up the awfulness of bronies perfectly. They're bottom of the barrel idiots with superiority complexes because they can into internet and watch a girl's cartoon show. And ebfore you rage on me for being a "h8r" without having watched the show, let me clear the air. I have watched the show. It was awful. Written to sell toys and entertain developing brains of elementary school girls. I've visited the forums, read fanfiction, and given myself the knowledge and ammunition to hate bronies. It's not mindless hatred, it is very grounded and based on firsthand experience with the worst thing on the internet. Below, however, is the reason they take the cake as the absolute number one worst thing on the internet, and possibly of all time.
In June, My Little Pony: Equestria Girls hits theaters. Thousands, maybe tens of thousands of bronies, will flock to the theaters to see it. They'll be clutching their Applejack plushies with fleshlights sewn into the rear and wearing their "20% Cooler" t-shirts and cheering and whooping at the screen and subjecting untold numbers of little girls who were brought by their parents to their idiocy. Say what you will about the fandom as a whole, but the sheer fact that even a small percentage of that fandom is going to subject little kids to their lack of social skills and odor and general terribleness automatically makes them the number one worst thing on the internet, hands down.
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