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With friends like you, who the fuck needs enemies?!

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My rage. Right now. Spiralling out of control. Slammed the front door so hard that the windows in the door cracked and shattered onto the floor, with shards raining down like sparks. I’m lucky they didn’t hit me because I’m pretty sure I saw silver slashes flying at me. I must have some kind of problems with doors when I get angry, because the last time I reached this level of destruction, I kicked through my bedroom door with my bare foot and had to wear bandages for a few weeks because the wood splinters tore off the skin on my foot. And yet, I still didn’t feel any of the pain due to my rage. It’s such a cliché, ‘in the morning light of yesterday, I suddenly realised, as I gathered up the broken shards of what used to be, I wasn’t thinking straight, and I cut my finger by mistake.’ And then, to make things ten times worse, the cleaner came through the front door and saw me kneeling on the floor, crying as I picked up the glass.

A little while back, when a friend of mine had a house party, something noticeable kept occurring. I was half (okay, completely) intoximicated at the time and busy pretending to hit on some poor sap who thought I was serious, but even I could tell something was up. Also because it happened the previous year. The host, my friend, kept disappearing into the room next door to go on to her laptop, and when people came to confront or comfort her, she kept telling them she was fine, her voice all deadpan and looking quite tired. It happened quite a few times, and then the final time, she went to the very end of the room, and just sat there and kept telling us to leave her alone.

Well, now I understand why. Exactly why.

A little under two hours ago, my friend from school, my childhood friend and her friend were in my kitchen, making eggs and laughing their asses off with the TV so loud I could hear it from my room, which is upstairs on the other side of the house. They invaded my room at exactly 9am, asking to use eggs, where I promptly yelled at the top of my lungs, ‘TAKE ANOTHER FUCKING STEP AND I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL KILL YOU ALL!!!’ What the fuck is the point of asking to use some fucking eggs now when you happily helped you happily helped yourselves to my food last night?!

…Sigh. Let me rewind.

Last night, we got drunk. We had fun, until around 1am, when everyone decided they were tired and going to bed, and kept shutting off my laptop even though I was still talking to people. I stayed online until 3am, and then went back upstairs to my own bed.

Instead of writing a full report, let me just state my reasons. Analysis instead of describing.

As soon as Sophie came through the front door, she headed straight for the sushi I had bought, which was meant to be my lunch for today. That bitch ate my chicken teriyaki, so I didn’t eat anything so I would have something to eat for today. Because I didn’t eat anything, I got drunk on an empty stomach, which was why I felt ill at the end of the night. Thankfully, I managed to prevent Amy from drinking all the soya milk, but they made their own fucking breakfast this morning so I don’t know what else they fucking took.

If I got drunk the previous night and told you it was 6am when you woke up whilst I was still on my laptop (I lied, it was only 2:30am, bitch.), wouldn’t it be possible for me to be maybe a teensy bit hungover? And fucking tired? So maybe it’s not a fucking good idea to invade my room at 9am, especially since I’ve screamed my lungs out at you, telling you to ‘TAKE ANOTHER FUCKING STEP AND I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL KILL YOU ALL!!!’? And like I said earlier, if you had no problem taking my food the night before, why not in the morning too, you selfish dicks?

When I was younger, and I used to have sleepovers with my best friend, I’d wake up, and moan at her for not waking me up because she’d been just lying there for the past hour, waiting for me to wake up. Now I know why my kind, patient, well-taught friend never disturbed me. THIS MORNING IS FUCKING WHY. AND FUCK YOU VERY MUCH, BUT I’M NOT HUNGOVER, SO SUCK ON THAT, YOU WHORES.

I wish Viv had been there. One, she’d stay up with me. Two, she’s Chinese (well raised/taught), so my parents naturally like her. Three, Viv isn’t a dickhole who would raid all my food, roar into my room the morning after like an uncensored episode of National Geographic or act like she fucking owns the place. In fact, the last time Viv stayed round, she was the last to go to sleep and got rid of the palm-sized spider.

Okay, being player 1 is a meme joke. But you do not fucking tell me what to do. In my own house. Par example, swearing. If you want to be friends with me, know that I am more foul mouthed than Revy on crack. You do not tell me to fucking ‘watch my language’ in my own home. In your home, that’s different. But in mine? Fuck off. Also, do not close my laptop. I am talking to people about my issues that I would never dream of telling you about. Why? Because you’re a bunch of inconsiderate assholes who would just be like, ‘Uh…okay. That sucks. Too bad.’ You believe I’m some happy-go-lucky dumbass. To some extent, yes, I can be. But only those who I trust really know that there’s more to me than just that.

There are a total of six people in my life that I trust in my life, and that’s the truth. Some of you I may love, but you’re just not the person to know, and I’m incredibly select in loyalty. Or maybe you just don’t know yet. Half are my family, the other half are amazing people who took the time to listen and learn everything about me. I have many other friends, online and in real life, but they have no idea of my past. And in case you’re wondering, yes. The people who I trust that aren’t part of my blood family are definitely not people I know in real life. I have many friends in and out of school, but none of them have any idea of what happened right under their noses. Some know parts of it, due to having been part of one of the incidents, like those who were in my German class. But the worst part is that they didn’t do anything about it until judgement day arrived. There are also others I have told parts of, but it was most likely just me whining about how I wanted it to end, because that was a long time ago.

Oh, and since we’re dishing out the slaps, I might as well let you know who you are, although you probably already know. You should.

@The Anonymous Joe, thank you for never actually ever cutting our ties. Last time was…what? The fourth time? You’ve become a major part of my life ever since May 2010. You could never leave. I’d die and write you a THIRTY page letter next time. Thank you for always, always, ALWAYS being there for me, right from the beginning when the problems began. Please come down to MCM expo in October! ‘Now let’s have a beach party. In. London!’ ‘NO!! NO!!! NO!!! NOW LET’S HAVE A DANCE PARTY! IN!!! LONDON!!! YEAH!!! HARRY POTTER!!! YEAH!!!’ XD Also;

[10:09:13] Joe the Yugi: WHO THE FUCK MADE YOU UPSET?
[10:09:17] Joe the Yugi: I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL END THEM

Please, just kill them. Kill them all. Kill them all with your Leeds rage!

@Pi Face Ben, I am so grateful to you. It’s one thing to listen to all my problems and attempt to help me and cheer me up, but it’s another to help me move on and make me future. Every time me and my dad sit down to have business talks at 1am, I always tell him he should be grateful for you to for, one, steering me in the right direction and helping me decide what I want to be, and two, encouraging me to tell him about it. I think you should work in a confessional, because you helped so much when I told you everything about me; baring my soul. Even though you’d managed to work some of it out already. Thank you.

Finally, yes, there is one other person. Yes, also a guy. I don’t…females…*sigh*. Abi, you were my one and only. You will be the only girl who I ever trust. But now that you’re gone, sorry, but this person that I’m talking about isn’t you. No, you don’t know him, so don’t kill the poor fucker. XD

I’m not gonna say much, because he doesn’t…uh. Uh. I dunno. Stuff. Doesn’t like stuff? XD Pokerface. Yeah. Anyway, Yu know who Yu are. And yes, it would suck majorly if we stopped talking. …B-BAKA!!! WHY’D Y-YU MAKE ME SAY SOMETHING SO S-STUPID LIKE THAT?!?! URRRGHHH!!!! URASAI!!! SHINEH!!! BAKA!!! D8>

Okay, now I’m in a good mood? XD Uh…hi, Bulbagarden? Long time no see? How’s it going? Good? Good. I’m back in the RP district, and more retarded than ever! Well, except, maybe not because I’ve been banned from RPing as Horneyhead (Alex Horne, for those of you who were unlucky enough to be in Assist Club/Sky High Nebula Academy Boarding School, both by dear Celery AKA Haze XD Also in Trebloome, but I got kicked out of that! ;3; Well, okay, Alex wasn’t ‘suited’ to the RP, but still! XD)! ;A;

Whilst the fuckers were having a great time downstairs at 9am, I was fucking tired and wanted to go back to sleep, but couldn’t. I definitely wasn’t going down there to fucking join them. I’ll have to go downstairs and assess the damage in the lounge and kitchen soon. Mum randomly texted me asking if I wanted any food.

Me: ‘Yes!!! Fuckers ate my lunch!!! Get back and give them Asian beating cus stupid gwai lo are being noisy and eating all our food!!!! Aiya!!!!!

Mum: Told you to wake up! Feed them and send them home!

And so, I went downstairs to see them trying to clean up. What the fuck?! I just told them to pack their bags and go home. It was obvious from the way I was speaking and the look on my face that I really hated them, but it appeared from the way they were taking their fucking time and fussing about that they didn’t give a fuck.

‘Ahhh…gotta brace myself for the sunlight…can barely stand this light…’

‘Perfect. I never get hungover, so up yours. This’ll be a treat.’ I thought, as I marched over to the curtains and yanked them all open, sunlight streaming in like they’d been delivered straight from heaven. They all screamed like harpies as I wrenched the front door open.

‘Get out.’ I wasn’t sugar coating things anymore. Get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. I never want to see you again. Get the fuck out.

‘Go, Ed.’ I ordered, trying to push him through the door. Not wasting any more time.

‘Hey, I’m putting my shoes on! And how do I get to the station?!’ Ed cried out.

‘Don’t care. Get out.’ I repeated. Let him bitch about me with his friends. I’m honestly past caring.

‘Bye Laura, thanks for having us~!’ Sophie practically trilled. I narrowed my eyes. They obviously couldn’t take any hints. Direct message it was, then. As soon as Amy’s foot left the doorstep, I couldn’t take it. I threw the door shut, cracking the glass windows in the door. This was just too painful for me. I hate it when my home gets invaded, when strangers visit. I am the house’s guard dog. I just went into the kitchen, and screamed like some kind of antichrist that was being exorcised. I just couldn’t take it. I started crying, and then had to ring my mum to tell her I’d broken the door.

Alright, the cleaner’s downstairs, so things should be okay. Lemme tell you guys a little something that nobody knows. I want to be like Yu Narukami/Tamaki Suoh. I want to help the people around me and make them happy, and make lots of friends when I go into sixth form (next school year; new school division). I want them to be there for me in my time of need like I would for them, because of the bonds we have made. But now? After this shit? I’m not so sure…

I still haven’t recorded for Mirai Nikki or Remember 11. I think I’m gonna take it easy today, play some P4 Golden (Yes, I have it and you don’t.), Persona 3 and Disgaea. Gonna blow off the party tomorrow to record, since I definitely DON’T want to see Ed. Rot in hell and eat shit. I hope Yuno Gasai peels your skin off with a rusty knife and then force feeds it to you. Then get Galactic Punted in the face.


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  1. Yang Xiao Long's Avatar
    Sometimes you need to just take a deep breath, accept that people suck and realize that you'll find that small group of people (which I think you already have found) that appreciate you for you and wouldn't think of pulling shit like this.

    But in the meantime, just remember that you do have people on here who care about you and are here for you if you want to talk about it (well talk about it more than this... I mean you made it pretty clear what happened and all).

    Also, be careful around glass doors. Those things can hurt you.
  2. GoldenrodGOD's Avatar
    Bossman..! ;A; Thanks, man. I really appreciate it. <3


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