Feeling like a bitch...
by, 8th March 2012 at 06:43 PM (164 Views)
Why do I have to make things so damn difficult?
I'm feeling all angsty and confused, so what better way to get it out than blog? Yup, I've gotten back into blogging, all thanks to Xiaxue. Officially my favourite blogger. XD
Okay, so I've got a bit of a problem, to anyone who's reading/listening...
During the time I've been gone, I managed to get a life. I made friends I actually like hanging out with outside of school, and they worship-uh, I mean, love me too. Phew, close one. XD I started wisened up and started paying PROPER attention in classes that mattered? And the ones that didn't matter? Who's that sat at the back of class civ? AZN playing Professor Layton on her DS, Skeleton Boy listening to his iPod and sticking a syringe stolen from biology on his head so he looks like a unicorn/dickhead, 6ft"2' Grim Reaper drawing a cooker for his girlfr-uh, I mean, a rifle for what I hope is no apparent reason, and teacher pretending not to notice. Oh yeah~ ;D XD
I also joined a sports team that Kami-sama knows I don't and won't shut up about; football. Le gasp! Le AZN good at le sport?! I know, hah?! Duh so stewpid! But still doesn't stop me from going on about it! XD
*Every German lessons since I started football in September*
Special K: Laura! Was hast du machst diese Wochenende?! (What have you done this weekend?)
Me: Ich habe Fussball gespielt! =D (I played football!)
Special K: Of course. XD
A certain someone even gave me a nickname; 'Hurricane', because I have a lot of power that she has 'no idea where it comes from' and I hunt down anyone who dares enter my half of the field XD
(It's ironic cus when I wanted to be a gladiator when I was younger, I wanted my gladiator name to be 'Hurricane.' I even wrote it all over my furniture and walls. XD)
Despite loving it so much and being so dedicated to it (dreimal pro Woche habe ich Fussball gespielt! (I played football three times a week!)), I was forced to quit it in the second term, at the start of the new year, cus I had to start having a history tutor every Friday and Wednesday, cus I hate history, and history hates me. That was a really sad period of time. I also slightly intentionally/unintentionally skived off games for 4 whole weeks before the half term so I could do work. That's 8 lessons.
*German lesson a week or so after beginning of term*
Special K: Ah, und du spielst Netball, ja?
Classmate: Nah, I do football now! Firsts' team, yeaaahh!!! (Baaaka, there's only one team. XD)
Special K: Oh! Und du, Laura?
Special K: Huh?
Me: I quit the football team.
Special K: What? Why?
Me: I have to focus on work now. I haven't got time for it anymore.
Special K: Aw, but that can't be! We all know how much you loved football! It's good for you to do it!
Me: I-I can't, I'm just too busy...
Onee-chan hugged me after that, and I felt really sad when she did that, even though I wasn't all that upset. =L
ARGH! CRAP! I'M GETTING OFF TOPIC!
Okay, here's the problem!
(I'm back on the team now, by the way. Coach didn't even realise I'd 'quit', he just thought I'd had a mega virus or something, and assumed that was why I'd missed so many lessons and practices XD)
Basically, all sports have a dinner before at the end of the season. Same goes for Girls' Football. This is a really meaningful one, because it's the last Girls' Football dinner for the upper sixth players (Who make up the majority of the team), and also coach.
When he announced his departure from Girls' Football team on Tuesday, I thought I was going to cry. He nearly was, too. He asked us all to laugh so he wouldn't, which only made me feel more shitty. But I know he wants to spend more time with his partner, especially since they're both old, so it's for the best. I've known them both for around 4 years, so it's not like I'm just producing crocodile tears for nothing or some shit cus I don't wanna feel left out. Shit, I can't imagine leaving school now. I've gotta thank Wendy for so much. She's one of those who helped me get into the school, and they've both encouraged me to do well at football. Fuck.
Anyway, back on topic. I just received the email about the dinner from captain, about the dates and restaurants and gift for coach and stuff. And I look at the contact list. And my friend's not on there.
I have to say that the only disadvantage about football is that none of my friends are...good enough for the team. Hence, when we have matches, I'm always alone.
Well, that's not entirely true. My friend, who is annoyingly obssessed with football and uses it as a tactic to get close to her crush *Hurls up dinnner*, obviously already knows some moves, despite not being very sporty. In fact, after our first session of football of the year, coach even asked her to play in the friendly match on Sunday.
So, despite her not being very good after all, and me being aggressive and possessing the ability to 'run faster than anyone', I quote from Wendy quoting coach, we were on the team together. As subs, naturally, since they already had a full team from last year. I had a football buddy, so things were sweet.
However, things went downhill. As quoted from la best friend a la school, my friend was pathetic. Gave up way too easily. Dramatised and exaggerated things too much.
Of course, I'm talking about an injury.
Around after a month into the new school year, one of the team defenders accidently stepped on her foot. She also did something to her ankle, sprained it or something. Back then, I didn't know about her being weak-willed and shiz, so I genuinely thought it was something of a broken status, hospital treatment, etc.
IT WAS NOT. IT WAS JUST AN ANKLE SPRAIN. AND BEING STEPPED ON DOESN'T HURT.
ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE A CONTACT SPORT PLAYER.
She used to go all out, she did. Bandages, plaster, doctor's visits, 'dry-ice' spray, and being off-games FOR OVER TWO FUCKING MONTHS. Imagine how I felt. All alone. The only year 11 (The other two were friends).
But then, like a bridge, I fucking got over it. I was good at football, and that was all that mattered when I was in a match. Of course, it would be nice to not be alone, but I had to focus on getting better at football, considering I had only one to two months experience.
But to this day, 5 months later, at practice, if her ankle gets so much as tapped, she demands to sit on the sidelines and be ref.
And it's not that she doesn't like football! No! It's just that she's pathetic and attention seeking...I can't believe I didn't see through it earlier...le best friend had to open my eyes and help me see through her 'child abuse lies' that she made up for extra action-packed drama. Whoopee. I want a front row seat and an effin' huge bucket of popcorn the next time you decide you wanna screen that one, matey.
Okay, seriously, to the point now. I do NOT want to go to this dinner alone. It means a lot to me. I really wanna go, especially since I'm recognised as a team member. Recognised enough to be emailed by captain~! \^0^/
I want to bring her. But there are several problems as well as perks.
-Not forever alone! =D
-Uh, yeah, that's it.
-She wasn't invited.
-Therefore she is not considered part of the team.
-Therefore she is most likely not welcome.
MY SELFISH AND EXTREMELY CHILDISH REASONS:
-She's not dedicated enough and obviously doesn't value it, proven by injury drama and the fact that she's LEAVING next year.
-I want to revel in my victory, in the fact that I'm better at football than her even though she'd loved and tried to practice it since forever, and I only picked it up 6 months ago, 5 if you don't count the one where I skived.
-Again, it makes me feel special that I'm chosen. She doesn't deserve to be part of that. Only skilled people allowed.
My stupid problems:
-BUT I DON'T WANNA GO ALOOONEEE!!!! \>0</ I can just see myself sat there, silent, and forever alooooonneee~~~~ ;A; XD
Lol, okay, in reality, I probably WILL ask her lol. BUT NOBODY ELSE! YOU ALL SUCK!!!! TROLOLOL!!!
Right, GG out. If you wanna hear more of me, go check out the writer's workshop or my Youtube. XD
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