i just realized i am a failure
can i just die right now please
You also have a long road ahead of you in life. It's not like you're a fifty-year-old hobo on the streets of Seattle. You have a house, you have a girlfriend, and you have a lot more to live for than what may be going on right now.
I'm not the best motivational speaker, but that's my comment.
i know it's just
too much going on
i just want to get off the planet for a while
Afraid civilian space travel is still expensive as fuck
Remember that shit can be SO much worse if you allow it too, its up too you whether life gets better or shoves you in the backseat and takes you out for a ride.
The fact your holding up (barely or great doesnt matter) means you have strength left in you, you still have a drive, just got to find out where youre going to use it.