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Slenderman Survival Guide

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by , 29th August 2012 at 07:50 AM (4306 Views)
Since I've changed my username to Slenderman, a few people have pretended to be scared of me. To put them at ease, I've decided to write this Slenderman Survival Guide:

We all know the Slenderman isn't actually real. But, if he decided to make an appearance, this is your best bet on surviving long term.

1 - Don't use the camera, dammit!

If you're being stalked by the Slenderman, don't film ourself every second of every day. This only encourages Slendy. If you're filming something different, and you notice constant audio and video distortions, or even see Slenderman in a video, stop. Delete/destroy the video, and throw away the camera.

2 - The less you know, the better

Ignorance is bliss when dealing with the Slenderman. I know you probably want to know anything there is to know about your enemy, but it's just not smart. The more you know about Slendy, the more he'll stalk you. This guide is probably more than you need to know.

3 - Slendy loves attention

Slenderman seems to stalk a person more the more they pay attention to him. He's like a 12 year old on the internet; he keeps coming back to see you flip out. If/when you see him, don't scream or run away unless he chases you. If you see him for the first or second time, keep calm and get the hell out of there.

4 - Get the hell out of dodge

If you keep seeing Slenderman in your area, leave. Get out of town, maybe even the state if you can. Change your location constantly. When you stop seeing Slendy, you can slow it down, but I wouldn't return to my house.

5 - Don't try to hit him

Slenderman is seemingly invulnerable to any form of physical harm. If you try to kill him, it won't work. It'll just make him mad. He's been hit by a baseball bat, car, and bullets, and emerged unscathed. Unless you've got a power level of over 9000, can falcon punch, or are Chuck Norris, don't try to hurt him.

6 - Slendersickness

Slendersickness is a term for the physical effects Slenderman has on people. Symptoms are: Headache, bloody nose, nausea, feeling cold, random extreme coughing, extreme paranioa and sometimes even memory loss. If you experience several of these symptoms in a reasonably short time, see #4.

This isn't a guaranteed way to survive to Slenderman. In fact, nobody's sure how to survive. This guide will just help you prolong your life in case you're being stalked by Slendy.

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Updated 29th August 2012 at 11:30 AM by Slenderman

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