It seems i only ever do a Blog when i am a tad depressed, shame about that but it is also the only time that i really ever think about things clearly.
I decided to try and find a Girl Friend lately, but when i was sitting down drinking a coffee in one of my local Coffee shops it hit me.
What does Love actually feel like?
Will i know it?
Will i even feel it?
I have been alone since i was 13 years old, I did not have any Friends, I was classified
Just about to hit Christmas now, about to finish off my latest project for Uni, all should be well, not really though, I had to spend my Birthday on my own bought my self some presents from me to me as they say.
But let me tell you it is not all that fun, sitting in your room alone, devoid of people to call friends, no one to wish you a happy birthday, but that is just a minor part the holiday i really hate is Christmas because it is like a birthday but lasts longer.
I have found that over the years 1 truth has emerged to the top of my mind and always seems to be the truth in my opinion, over the years i have been in contact with alot of people some morons some are ok but in the end everyone leaves, and you have to be on your own in the end and for those of us that dont have amazing luck in finding a kind woman our lives are just one big hell hole of work and loneliness.
so i have started to think that if you look at it in the point of view that
there was someone that i knew for ALONG time who just got back into contact with me recently and asked for some advice and cheering up.
2 weeks down the line now and she is much happier and she took the advice.
but JUST like everyone i meet as soon as i have helped them they turn on you, i asked her if she wanted to get a coffee on the weekend to catch up because i have not seen her in about 5 - 6 years like most NICE people do.
. . . . she then said
today this feeling was stronger than ever i was walking through my local town center, only to find that everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves and when i started to walk by with my weekly shopping i found that i became the center of attention with kids saying "why is he wearing that it is freezing" then laughing (i over heat sometimes and find that i walk around in short sleeves to cool me down no matter what weather).
after people started to stare i heared people