Laughing at the Oncoming Storm...
by, 10th January 2009 at 04:48 AM (222 Views)
...If only to keep myself from crying in the face of it.
Current mood: Terrified. :(
I'm 17 years old. 18 in 15 days. This means I'm at a critical point in my life.
I'm 5 days away from hearing back from the universities I've applied to, after which I have a window of less than a month to move 800km away from my hometown and all of my family.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm really excited about uni and moving out for the first time, and I chose to go north because I really want to. The thing that's worrying me is that I'm doing it on my own.
And I'm afraid I'm gonna fuck it up.
I mean, my parents aren't even helping me look for somewhere to live. My dad told me to go for on-campus accommodation (which I wanted to do, but didn't get in, and to apply again would cost $300) and my mum's only option was to buy a house up there and have me move in there with her.
Now, I love my mum, but right now, independence is so close, and I don't want to keep living with family.
As I type this, I've lined up 5 ads for shared accommodation to follow up on tomorrow.
I should be fine for money and transport, but I guess I just need to work on the faith in myself that I'll be able to make it without relying on my parents.
I guess I'm going it alone because I need to prove to myself that I'll be alright, but I also want to prove to my father that I can do it, as he seems to be under the impression that I'll be mooching off of him for the next 8 years.
It's getting harder to turn to my friends for comfort, because almost all of them are already moving on with their lives, and don't have as much time to talk any more.
Take my friends Sam and Jayde for example. Sam is currently with his father down south, and will only be back in town for 4 days before he leaves for an interstate Defence Force Academy for good. Jayde is 18 years old and is already a Chartered Accountant, and is starting her 9 to 5 life on Monday.
I always say that change is as good as a holiday, but all these huge changes in my life are hitting me at once and I'm just sitting here hoping I can handle it all.
A little tl;dr, I know, but I just got a huge twinge of emo (and heartburn for some reason).
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