by, 12th April 2010 at 10:30 PM (376 Views)
I think I'll scan some crap. You people like drawings, right?
I just got asked by a guy I know to contribute to this little art magazine he has. By asked, I mean invited to a Facebook group. Whatever happened to the usual course of social interaction, like actually asking me?
Anyway, I haven't done anything useful in months. I'm not even sure I can draw anymore (if ever), plus it's in that typical 'abstract' art student style that I like to avoid. Y'know, the kind with drawings not meant to make sense yet supposed to symbolize the existential nature of black coffee with letters clipped out of magazines, like a ransom note before sense was invented.
While on the subject of magazines, I have a lovely tale to tell you all. I went to a pub with some guys from another local magazine a couple of months ago (I don't go around looking for magazine people, honest) and after a few pints one of the guys shared an interesting (true) story about the editor of another magazine.
I forget what city it took place in England. Birmingham or something, I don't know. The editor (who I will refer to as Ed for short because I can't remember his name) was carrying a massive stack of magazines he was trying to sell to various news shops and vendors. He was then mugged by a man with a baseball bat (I believe his name was Andrew. I'll be calling him that anyway, so pay attention). Ed had been carrying around a stupidly large pile of magazines for a few hours so he was exhausted as hell. He simply gave the man his wallet but sadly for Andrew, there wasn't any money in it. Andrew did, however, spy some bank cards. So, at bat point Ed was forced over to an ATM to withdraw some money. Unfortunately again for Andrew, Ed had only £50 in his account. Ed half-apologetically told Andrew that was all he had in the account and showed him the balance. At that point, Andrew actually felt bad for Ed. Obviously, Andrew needed the money so he took it anyway but was very sorry for doing so. So sorry, he actually offered to give Ed a ride. As if that wasn't insane enough, Ed, having carried the magazines around all day and now having had his account cleaned out, took the offer. So, Ed piled his magazines and climbed into the passenger seat of Andrew's car. He told the mugger where he wanted to go (near his home but not the exact address) and they set off.
As they were driving, Andrew decided he needed to stop somewhere. He took Ed on a little side trip to some house and, after a few phone calls, popped inside of it. Andrew warned Ed not to call the police or try to run... and Ed actually listened. He sat there in the car, waiting patiently for Andrew to reemerge from the house. Finally, out came Andrew with £50 worth of cocaine. Still feeling sorry for Ed, Andrew offered Ed a line, "on me, mate". On him? He mugged Ed and bought it with his money, so really it was his coke to begin with. Ed decided to decline, regardless. Andrew set out his lines and then took out a photo of his daughter. He showed it to Ed and said he regret mugging him but he needed the money. Ed understood, although what threw him off was when Andrew took the photo of his daughter, rolled it up, and snorted cocaine through it.
After Andy did his lines, he drove Ed to his destination. Ed got home to his roommate (the guy who told me this story) confused and tired. He told him what happened and soon they called the police. The police's reaction was understandably between skeptical and bewildered, "so... after he mugged you, you got in his car and he gave you a lift home? OK." They took his statement and did the usual but they never really heard about it again.
As far as I know, Andrew still roams the streets.
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