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Super Effective: Normal

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Because my opinions matter. So, yeah, this little bandwagon was started by Karamazov and Croag, if I'm not mistaken, and basically I'm just talking about my favourite and least favourite Pokémon of every type. Oh, by the way, I'm British. So it's going to be favourite with a u. Every single time. Just getting that out of the way early. So, time for me to pretend I know about competitive battling!

Favourite Normal Type

My affection for Zangoose sort of had odd beginnings. Originally, I preferred Seviper out of the two R&S version exclusives, but one day it just suddenly occurred to me that Zangoose was a huge badass, and since then it's been very high on my list of favourite Pokémon. This is because Zangoose has several things that people look for in a Pokémon - they have both cute elements and cool elements. On the cute side, they have the large bushy tail that would be so cuddly and plushy, but then on the cool side, it has the razor sharp claws, which could be utilised to tear out the jugular of anyone who sees you cuddling a Zangoose tail.

Let's examine the Pokédex aspects of the Pokémon. Zangoose's Ruby entry says that "memories of battling its arch-rival Seviper are etched into every cell of Zangoose's body". The rivalry between Zangoose and Seviper has dated back for generations, and the rivalry is etched into every cell of their body, so this essentially means that Zangoose is the biggest determinator in the entire series. And as we all know, any character who is a determinator is awesome. Because they can, like, shrug off explosions and trucks flying at them and whatever. Which is true for Zangoose, too; their ability is Immunity, which means it is equally matched with Seviper as it doesn't have to worry about the snake's poison attacks. And as of the Dream World, Zangoose actually gets stronger when inflicted by poison.

From a competitive standpoint, Zangoose doesn't really stand out from the crowd, but his Attack is good enough for him to have some use in the lower tiers, at least. There are some STAB options available, such as Return, and he has Close Combat to deal with Rock and Steel Pokémon that would usually resist his Normal-type attacks. With the correct kind of support, Zangoose could prove to be a valuable asset on a competitive team, and can cause masses of damage given the chance.

In conclusion - Zangoose, you are one cool motherfucker and you should not be messed with.

Least Favourite Normal Type

This abomination of mankind is the sole reason that I chose Diamond twice instead of Pearl. Palkia's giant cosmic wang I could deal with, but the pure fatness of Purugly was too much to bear.

How cruel it must be to have the majestic, cute little kitten Glameow snatched away from you and transformed into this. The clue's in the name, I guess, but I'm not sure what features there are about Purugly that would actually make an inhabitant of the Pokémon world want one of these. It just seems to me like the kind of cat that just leeches off you for food and spends the whole day either lounging around in your favourite chair, pissing all over the furniture or running off to make babies with the local frothy-mouthed stray. The kind of cat that, if abandoned, would remain in the animal shelter until it's dying days. Nobody would want a cat that looks like that.

Let's look at Pokédex entries. "It is a brazen brute that barges its way into another Pokémon's nest and claims it as its own." See, I'm completely right; they are total dickweeds. "To make itself appear intimidatingly beefy, it tightly cinches its waist with its twin tails." Okay, so essentially, what Purugly is representative of is that really horrible fat girl at school who buttered herself up every day with makeup and corsets in a vain attempt to make herself seem cool and interesting. You know, the girl that nobody wanted to be friends with. Look, I'm sorry for sounding like I'm prejudiced against overweight people or anything - I'm not. It's just that there is absolutely nothing appealing about Purugly's character or design to me, and don't sit there pretending you don't feel the same. It's an accident of reality.

Now that I've finished slandering the monstrosity, let's take a look at it from a competitive standpoint. It can kind of qualify as a lead, having decent speed and access to Taunt, Fake Out and Hypnosis but it really doesn't have the movepool that a lot of other Normal-types have and it's other stats are fairly lackluster. Purugly would require some amount of setting up to be really used effectively, but to be honest if you proudly bust out this... thing, I'd be too scared to make an attack. Oh, and also - Mars' Purugly in DPP gives 666 EXP the first time you defeat it. So yeah, Purugly is an emissary of the devil.

In conclusion - it's a glob of goo that would make Grimer blush.

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  1. Karamazov's Avatar
    Wow, that's a hilarious way to see Purugly. :p
  2. Metabee's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Karamazov
    Wow, that's a hilarious way to see Purugly. :p
    But it's all true. It is. It's a satanist chubby feline asshole.


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