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The Somewhat Depressed Teenager

I Pretty-Much Hate My Life Right-Now

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My mom and I live with her parents, and my youngers cousins get sent-over a lot, because my mom's brother and sister seem to think we don't have lives and exist to watch their children when they have better things to do.

I'm the oldest grandchild. And so my grandparents expect me to be happy and smiley and accomidating all the time. Basically, they want me to do whatever they think I should do whenever they want it done, without any sort of sign that I don't want to.

Just yesterday, my bed got taken-apart to sell and I had to sleep with my mom.

Two of my cousins (Emarah, 9, and Bradley, 4) stayed the night, and are still here. They have strewn dollhouse stuff all over my room. I told them they had to clean-up before they went home, they start mouthing me, and somehow I'm the bad-guy.

Then, I was going to audition for a local musical, but my mom forgot to get music, and forgot to tell me when auditions were, and Nana starts critiquing that, and running her mouth (she and Papa run their mouths constantly, like badmouthing my mom and me are their God-given right).

She was just going on and on about how we never fucking prepare for anything, and how stupid it is, and how she was making a real easy decision for everyone, give-up. And how she hasta do everything around here.

Who has the gigantic list of chores? Me!

I can't even go to my room to escape her bitching, because Gid forbid someone disturb the precious babies' playtime in someone-else's room with someone-else's stuff.

And last week, I tried to get into my school play (8-person cast) and the girls they picked were three seniors who get everything, and one sophomore who gets everything, because her mom is a teacher.

I'm also part of a dance-company (with singing, which is my main thing). I've never had a lead in one of our story-shows. I always sing before the show starts so people don't get bored and leave.

When we did our own version of Sleeping Beauty recently, the program didn't even list me as being part of the cast. My name was under "Crew." I've been part of the company for 7 years, since it started. Longer than most of the ones with roles. But my specialty isn't dancing. So, you know, apparently I don't count.

No-matter what it is or who it is, I'm never good-enough or important-enough.

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  1. Niji's Avatar
    I'm really sorry. No one's unimportant. You do have talents, such as singing (I wish I could). I always get infuriated by stuff like that, too. Now I'm trying to be more positive, happy, and stop hurting myself, and it's made me feel much better, although it's difficult. You've got the possibility for an amazing future ahead, although you can't see it, be strong and keep grasping for your hopes and dreams.

    Here are the lyrics to the song Braving by KANAN, the 2nd theme song of the show that inspired me to heal:

    I'd also recommend this awesome song: [MMD] KAITO - I Wish They'd Just Die (Shineba iinoni) + Motion Data Download! - YouTube

    I hope you feel better. You can always VM/PM me if you ever wanna talk.
  2. Robin Storm's Avatar
    What?! You deserve much better then that! Who do they think they are? If I were you.. Well I think I would be mad.
    Never lose hope!
  3. Uncle Edit's Avatar
    Just because you are in a stressful situation right now doesn't mean that you should give up all your happiness. You aren't unimportant or anything. I reckon you have potential that others aren't noticing right now. There could even be a turn of events that will make things much better for you. Stay positive, keep moving forward, and stay strong. We are all cheering for you!
  4. jasonwolf's Avatar
    You're important to me Rea.


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