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Trainer Yusuf

Evolutions for?... Part 2-4: A New Despair

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by , 5th February 2013 at 12:11 PM (452 Views)
While this part might not necessarily be the one with most Pokémon without any hope in evolutions, it will be close enough at least. So, let's get going.

Zorua and Zoroark


Lucario 2.0... which was Absol 2.0 which was Arcanine 2.0. Despite what furries or N(both of which are similar but distant factions) might say, Zoroark is most definitely not the top percantage of all Pokémon. At least it has enough decency to evolve faster than other Unova Pokémon, even if you could only obtain it post-game in the original game.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Zorua and Zoroark were the first event-only Pokémon that weren't legendary, and the only reason for it was to sell tickets to the last DP movie. Zorua and Zoroark are special in that they were the first of unneccesary anime related events of the Gen V and were the forebearers of anime's increasing influence over games in Gen V as oppossed the other way around. In Black 2 and White 2, they are literally handed to you(by Rood) to be the introduction of N's Pokémon mechanic, thus removing their nature as quest Pokémon(which was unneccesary anyways as you could only obtain them after getting the National Pokédex and access to Poké Transfer* and the Pokémon related to events had no other bearing on the Gen V whatsoever). They are also the only Pokémon that currently have access to Illusion and Night Daze, which is currently the most powerful Special Dark-type move.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? It sucks... kind of. Zoroark has nice offensive stats but paper-thin defenses. It has three great boosting moves in form of Agility, Nasty Plot and Swords Dance, and many annoying moves like Taunt, Torment, Imprison, Fake Tears etc., but its paper-thin defenses disallow it from setting up properly, and its movepool is only barely workable with many “okay” but insufficient moves. As such, Zoroark is a gamble to play to play with. Its Illusion allows it to pass these obstacles, but you need to play your cards carefully, as Zoroark is not reliable at all, and its reward is not that high compared to its risks, just sufficient enough for good player and with good team support. It is a gamble, and you need to be insanely good at your calculations to work miracles with it. Which in hindsight makes it the perfect Pokémon for N.
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? As it has a high 510 BST, its chances of evolving further are very low.

Larvesta and Volcarona


The final of the quest Pokémon, the living embodiment of Quiver Dance and evolutionary differences.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Volcarona was originally accessible only through the capturing the Seven(Six) Sages sidequest, while Larvesta was only accessible as a gift Egg, because apparently not you are essentially a messiah in the games, but also the head of a future breeding program for endangared species. In Black 2 and White 2, you can find an underleveled Volcarona in Relic Castle's remains.
Larvesta is also very distinctly different from its evolution as it is Physical oriented. They both learn moves at Level 100(which isn't the case for other non-legendary Pokémon), they have unique typing, Larvesta is the latest evolving Pokémon and Volcarona keeps the tradition of “holy non-legendary Pokémon with high legendary-like BST” started with Arcanine and continued with Togekiss. They are also incapable of learning Attract despite having genders, and Volcarona has the second lowest possible catch rate for a non legendary Pokémon, 15.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Please tell me you're joking.
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? It is pretty much a legendary. So no. Not to mention, it gives a total of 3 Evs when defeated, something mostly unique for legendaries and three stagers.

“That's what you get for pretending the rest are not real”-Those who gained their gimmicks eventually


Pokémon is notable for its retcons. Many fantastic designs exist without any reason to exist so and end up completely unrelated to anything outside of potentially interesting backstories, as they are created by some teens(who wanted to become comic artists but failed because of lack of talent) came up with as exercises to flex their creative muscles. Such creations are called “Original Character Do Not Steal” and some of the leading communties that contain these are called DeviantArt and FanFiction.net.

Paras and Parasect


While their Pokédex numbering might claim that Paras and Parasect are encountered after Oddish, the reality couldn't be farther away from that. Discounting Bulbasaur for obvious reasons, Paras is literally the first Grass-type you encounter in the original Red and Blue games.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Paras and Parasect were the first Pokémon the have the mighty Spore. They are also the first Grass-type you encounter in the original games as stated above. However, Paras and Parasect's primary gimmick wasgiven to them in Generation II with the addition of held items... TinyMushroom and Big Mushroom. These two items, based on Paras and Parasect incredibly valuable tochukaso mushroom, were high selling loots and briefly became mandatory for Move Relearner in FR/LG. They have recently gained access to eve more valuable BalmMushroom, but they now encounter stiff competition from another pest that is actaully one of the biggest defensive beasts in the game, Amoonguss, who has all of their primary gimmicks. At least Paras and Parasect still have the honor of being the only Pokémon that are x5 weak to an elemental type and Paras has the disctinction of being the only Pokémon that has 1 EV yield that immediately evolves into a Pokémon with 3 EV yields with the exception of Slowpoke when it evolves to Slowking, Nosepass which evolves to Probopass and Larvesta which evolves to Volcarona. They are also the only Pokémon in both Bug and Grass Egg groups. Parasect is also the only Pokémon that is a zombie, so I guess that is something as well.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Dry Skin makes it usable... somewhat... not really.
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? As it is literally the first Grass-type in the first games AND it has a 3 EV yield in its evolution, a trait almost exclusive to 3 staged Pokémon and legendaries, no.

Cubone and Marowak


The original brooding badass of Pokémon(GTFO Silver), Marowak's story was of inspiration. A meek orphan becoming a master swordsman. Unfortunately that never actually happened in Gen I as Marowak had stats made most Pokémon mock it. Even Sandslash. Because of this Marowak went back its mother's grave and took its club to punish the non-believers. And everyone outsped it and beat it to near death so it went to search for some way to make up for that, finding Rock Polish and Trick Room.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks?Marowak originally had one of the highest amounts of signature moves, Bone Club, Bone Rush and Bonemerang. Bone Rush was eventually given to Lucario to make it more of a marketable whore and Mandibuzz because she was a close colleague of Marowak. Marowak, without its useful moves, found solace with the new held items mechanic and gained Thick Club. Thick Club doubled its, and only its and Cubone's Attack. Cubone could also appear as a Ghost in Pokémon Tower, despite being perfectly living. That's about it really.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? With its decent defensive and offensive typing, good Defense and semi-workable Special Defense, and of course, Thick Club, Marowak stays as one of the strongest Trick Room tanks. It can also work as a normal tank in lower tiers, but it will always prefer Trick Room everywhere else.
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? With Thick Club, Marowak reaches an insane 554 BST. As such, no.

“If I were a good man”- Those who act like gimmick Pokémon but aren't.


For every good act, there will be imitators. For every bad act, there will be repeats. And hipsters who like stuff they believe are bad in a humours way. These Pokémon are more close to the latter.

Vulpix and Ninetales


Originally was intended to be the counterpart of Arcanine, Ninetales lived up to its status... back when Special was not a separate stat and Ninetales' was 100. To be honest I have no idea why they didn't made both of its Special stats 100, it is not like it would give it an insane BST or anything. And it is not like Ninetales isn't mythological to be given a common peasant's BST.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Vulpix has a unique BST(299) and Ninetales has a unique EV yield(1 Sp. Def, 1 Speed). Vulpix is also the only non-Ghost-types who can learn Grudge and Will-O-Wisp by leveling up.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Ahahahaha no. Literally the only reason anybody uses it seriously is because it is their gateway to Drought. On the other hand, it makes a surprisingly good combination with Cherrim in doubles.
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? It is extremely unlikely with its high 505 BST and partially with its status as a early Fire-type Pokémon for both Johto and Kanto(even though Arcanine is the same deal and outclasses it).

Natu and Xatu


Natu and Xatu move around the thin line between a pseudo-gimmick Pokémon, early-route Pokémon and quest Pokémon. They are also specifically created to be very bizzare, just like their pals Unown.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Natu is the smallest Flying-type and was one of the smallest Pokémon until Joltik. They are also one of the few Pokémon to have both of the Swap moves and the ability Magic Bounce. They also had a unique typing until Sigilyph.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Sort of. It is primarly for Magic Bounce and the fact that it doesn't require to have offensive stats to deal damage thanks to Night Shade. It can also status spam, put on Screens and Wish support. But it is only a support Pokémon(despite having higher Speed and Special Attack stats than anything else).
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? Sort of. While it is an early route Pokémon and recently gained a gimmick ability, it is both entirely optional and appears late game in other games than its debut, and appears on Elite Four Will's team. All in all, it doesn't have much justification why it shouldn't get one.

Pre-evolutionary corner: Sunkern


Sunkern's story is certainly an epic struggle for all ages. From a weak seed, with proper support by the affectionate trainer, it grows into a large but useless flower. Yeah. That doesn't seem right.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Sunkern is the weakest Pokémon in existance, with lowest BST(180). It is also the only Gen II Pokémon that requires an evolutionary stone(until Gen IV) and is one the few Pokémon with highest Pokéathlon stats, to compensate for its weak nature. It was also the first Grass-type to learn Sunny Day through level-up along with its evolution.

Sunflora


Sunflora is one of the earliest Grass-types in G/S... except Oddish, Hoppip(especially more so in Crystal), Exeggutor if you get Headbutt and Bellsprout. As such, it fails at the thing it was created for.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? See above. In addition to that, it was the only Pokémon to learn Bullet Seed through level-up in Gen III.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you constantly asking these questions even if you know the answer? Why? Why? WHY?
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? It is one of the earliest Pokémon in the game... even though it fails at that. Is National Park even part of the determined route? I haven't played G/S or HG/SS. Jesus, I should pay my attention to those than this.

Slugma and Magcargo


I originally thought these were the early-route Fire-type Pokémon for Johto. They weren't. What.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Yet another concept Pokémon, Slugma's evolution is based on lava's behaviour, as such it gains Rock-typing upon evolving(ie. cooling down). Slugma has the lowest Speed of all Fire-types(along with Litwick and Torkoal) and lowest BST. Magcargo's typing is also unique. Magcargo and Slugma were also accessible in every main Gen II, III and IV games, as their abilities cut the hatching time.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Shell Smash. The only reason you should use Magcargo for anything. Surprisingly it is actually good at it(obviously in lower tiers).
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? Yes. As it was a late game Pokémon in its debut and continued to be a late/early-mid Pokémon and has stomach turning stats(BST or otherwise) Magcargo has every chance of evolving, theoritically anyways. Pratically it is hard to come up with one, but we can hope.

Remoraid and Octillery


Revolvers and artillery eh? Remoraid and Octillery is one of those common “how this evolution works” type of Pokémon, as far as the general fandom is concerned. General fandom is also primarly composed of little kids to 13 year olds, so it is obviously likely that they wouldn't immediately get the joke.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Remoraid is a mid-late game Pokémon who was originally only found in Route 44, although, much like its counterpart Qwilfish in Route 32, it can be obtained through any rod during a swarm. Ultimately Octillery did not require Remoraid to be obtained, as such they just became common fishes as opposed to being fishes with gimmicks for two generations(being accessible in Emerald's Safari Zone extension and being a version exclusive for Leafgreen in addition to their original gimmick). Also naturally since they are based on guns and tanks respectively, they learn many shooting moves. Octillery is not just the only Pokémon to learn Gunk Shot through leveling up, but also the only Pokémon to have a signature move(disregarding the fact it passed to Horsea since the move's debut) with its name in it(for Japan anyways), Octazooka(Okutank Cannon).
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Much like Qwilfish, Octillery is a massive threat under right conditions. For Octillery these are Trick Room and Baton Pass chains. In addition to this, it gained access to Moody, which means it can be even more horrendous on its own with its massive movepool.
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? As it recently gained Moody, probably not. Also Eviolite Octillery. My God.

Spoink and Grumpig


Spoink and Grumpig has all the trademarks for Pokémon created only to sell toys. Surprisingly though, their marketing(or rather Spoink's) wasn't harsh enough to reap the harvest, as such they fell into obscurity. That and they are sort of the Hypno/Drowzee of Hoenn.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Magic Coat was Spoink and Grumpig's signature move in Gen III(again, disregarding the ones that get the move through breeding).
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Well, I use a Taunt/Trick Room one. Does that count?

Okay... seriously. “It can be used in lower tiers, but everyboody and their mother do what it does better. Most of the time anyways”
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? Sort of? It is a early-mid game Pokémon with low stats, but then again, so is Hypno. It might be too early to be a suffienctly powerful Pokémon though.

Swablu and Altaria


Altaria is thought to be worst fully evolved Dragon ever. That is correct. It is also a Dragon, which means it still has one of the best types in the game, which means it is a dangerous mofo.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Outside of Flygon, and Garchomp, it is the earliest Dragon-type to be obtained. It is the earliest one to evolve fully. It is also the only Pokémon that keeps its secondary typing but changes its primary typing except Onix. Also, it is the only Dragon/Flying that isn't a pseudo-legendary or legendary and only Dragon-type to be a part of two staged evolutionary line. It is the Dragon-type that requires the lowest EXP amount to get to level 100 as well. It also also has the lowest HP of all Dragon-type along with Kingdra, highest Special Defense and lowest Attack amongst them. Swablu also can only learn False Swipe from Ruby & Sapphire Box, and not through any TMs. It's Egg group combination, Flying and Dragon, is unique as well.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Altaria is a dangerous Pokémon in lower tiers as it can use any set it wants. Defensive, Specs, Dragon Dance... versatility is Altaria's greatest asset.
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? Not much. Altaria is very obviously meant to be used early-game, and Swablu can be obtained early-mid game even if Altaria is accessible late-game on its own.

Joltik and Galvantula


Joltik was yet another well favoured Pokémon by the fandom. Too bad, none of the continuities actually respect that fact.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Joltik is the smallest Pokémon ever. Galvantula and Joltik both have unique typing, their signature move Electroweb(which obviously ended up having larger distrubition) and both have unique BSTs(472 and 319). They also have access to Ariados-line's signature move Spider Web and they are the only Pokémon that have Unnerve as a normal ability and not as a Hidden Ability.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Galvantula is a very one-dimensional and traditional fast and hard hitting glass cannon. It's primary selling points are its access to very buggy moves and Compundeyes Thunder. That is pretty much what it is for everywhere, and since Rain is one of the most domination forces in the metagame, Compundeyes Thunder doesn't seem that good in comparison.
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? Techinically speaking, yes. As it is a (very) mid-game Pokémon with low stats, yes. Nevertheless, every continuity its in treats it as a common early route Bug-type, much like how Sawsbuck is treated. As such, it should logically have a shot at getting one, but unlike Durant, it is probably not well recognized as a Pokémon that isn't in the beginning routes by its own creators.

Cubchoo and Beartic


Teddiursa and Ursaring... IN TUNDRA!
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Beartic is the only Pokémon that learns Aqua Jet by level up that isn't a Water-type and Cubchoo is the only Gen V Pokémon that gets Rattled. Beartic is also only catchable in Winter, but Cubchoo is accessible all seasons in Twist Mountain with varying encounter rates. Though it is only accessible in Route 7 during Winter. They can be considered as half-hearted attempts at changing the region's nature depending on the weather.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? While Beartic has some usable bulk, even with Swift Swim it is not very good, thanks to its shallow movepool, low stats and poor typing.
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? Techinically yes. It has a very low BST, it is a failed gimmick and it is only accessible near late game. Only issue that might rise is the fear of it replacing Ursaring by the creators(it wouldn't because it lacks the insane movepool, good abilities and massive offensive power).

“And all that you give”-Gift Pokémon

A weird variation of Quest Pokémon, Gift Pokémon often require do specific sidequests, but some of these are obligatory. These Gift Pokémon are often not very powerful or are very difficult to train, depending on when threy are encountered. Eevee will not be discussed here(and probably ever in this blog series) so don't hold your breath.

Hitmonlee


Hitmonlee was the kicking master of Pokémon.. unti Blaziken came. Even though it is regarded to best offensive of the Hitmons, it still struggles to find a place with all the new powerful Fighting-types.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Hitmonlee had 4 Signature moves, Jump Kick, Hi Jump Kick, Rolling Kick and Mega Kick, which is more than any other Pokémon. It was also only accessible by defeating Fighting Dojo. It was also the only Pokémon that had Reckless Ability. It also has a unique Speed stat (87).
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Hitmonlee has many powerful moves, power stats and powerful abilities, but it is simply outclassed by other powerful Fighting-types. Hitmonlee needs more ways to distinquish itself from others(Acrobatics? Head Smash? Flare Blitz?). Hitmonlee along with Hitmonchan is the only Pokémon that ended up being related to a previously unrelated Pokémon with a pre-evolution.
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? Hitmonlee is a early-mid game Pokémon and it shows. It is hard to say its abilties give it power enough to be considered fully evolved, but it is also hard to say it is not sufficient at its job. This is true for all Hitmons.

Hitmonchan


Punching master of the Pokémon... until Conkeldurr and Golurk came. Hitmonchan has always struggled to find its niche, and it still continues to search for it. Its defensive orientation is hit by horrible 50 Base HP and its Speed and Attack, while good, are nothing amazing.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks?It was only accessible by beating Fighting Dojo. Hitmonchan learns the highest amount of priority moves through leveling up, Quick Guard, Bullet Punch, Vacuum Wave, Mach Punch, Purduit and Feint. It also gets Fake Out from Tyrogue. He also used to have Vacuum Wave and Mach Punch as signature moves(again, not considering breeding chains) and it was the only Pokémon to learn all three of the Elemental Punches. It was also the only Pokémon with Iron Fist and along with Hitmonlee it is the only Pokémon that ended up being related to a previously unrelated Pokémon.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Hitmonchan still has a very good bulk which means it can use various sets to support its team or fully use boosting items without much concern. While it is nearly useless outside of RU, it does have some niches that help it stand out... but everything it does is done better by other Pokémon.
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? See Hitmonlee.

Tyrogue


Tyrogue is... weird. It is probably the only Baby Pokémon that is created to make sense than create baby spinoffs.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Much like its original evolutions, it could originally be obtained only as a Gift, literally from the same person. It eventually became the only way to obtain Hitmons. It is the only Pokémon with more than one side evolution outside of Eevee; it was the only baby Pokémon to learn only one level up move; and it originally couldn't get Helping Hand despite having it as an Egg Move. Due to its parents, it is the only Baby Pokémon to get Egg Moves from his fathers and can't get anything from a different pool of Pokémon; and it is the only Baby Pokémon that requires Ditto to be obtained. As its evolutions were obtained at Level 30, it is the only baby Pokémon along with Wynaut to evolve at a fixed level different than Level 30. It is also the only Baby Pokémon to have same stats in all areas, due to its evolution method. It is the only Pokémon whose evolution depends on its stats.

Hitmontop


Originally universally accepted as the best of Hitmons(albeit only in Gen IV), Hitmontop is one of the most balanced Fighting-type in the game. It is no wonder that it also became the most mediocre of all Fighting-types in the current metagame.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Hitmontop is the Pokémon with highest unusual priority in its movepool, with 14 increased priority moves and 2 decreased priority moves. It also has one of its pre-evolution's ability, but it doesn't get that ability from keeping it(Steadfast which is a Hidden Ability for Hitmontop and standard ability for Tyrogue). It is also the only Hitmon to keep its signature move, Triple Kick.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Gen IV has been very kind to Hitmontop by giving it Techinican and Close Combat, making it a very good middle weight(hah, get it?) Pokémon. But with the offensive orientation of Gen V, Hitmontop's good balance became aggressive mediocrity and Hitmontop ended up being universally bashed by competitive players by being only good for Foresight+ Rapid Spin. At the very least, Hitmontop is still a top tier dog in doubles, thanks to Wide Guard, Intimidate and Fake Out.
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? See Hitmonlee.

Riolu


Riolu used to be useless addition to Lucario's line, most likely to be nothing but be a doe eyed baby version of the furry king himself. However in Gen V, it gained Prankster and Eviolite, both of which made it one of the most potentially broken troll Pokémon in the game. Just so it can't be even more broken, Copycat was made to be incapable of copying Circle Throw.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? Riolu is the only way to obtain Lucario. It was originally only accessible hrough Riley, but it became catachable in wild in Johto Safari Zone in HG/SS, and later became a post-game Pokémon in B/W for Challanger's Cave. But obviously it wasn't enough. To shove Riolu into our mouths better and to capture the fandom even more efficiently, Riolu became an early route Pokémon for, and only for, Black 2 and White 2, along with other fan favorites such as Eevee, Mareep, Growlithe, Azurill and many others. To be fair, it was given a rather useless event to sell ranger games that gave it Aura Sphere as well. It also recently became the way for Lucario to gain Nasty Plot, if Riolu's nature as a devious cash cow wasn't even more obvious. Riolu is also the only pure Fighting to evolve something different than pure Fighting, and both of it and its evolution's abilties are based on flinching.

Lucario


Everbody's favourite merketing whore(or bitch), Lucario was one of the first Gen IV Pokémon to be introduced, and while the hype train finally stopped, it is still getting juiced all over by the fandom and the creators.
Does this Pokémon have inherent game gimmicks? As Lucario is the Aura Pokémon, it is capable of learning all Pulse moves. It was originally the only Fighting/Steel Pokémon, and it is still the only one to have Fighting as the primary typing.
Is this Pokémon salvagable for metagame without an evolution? Lucario has a very odd stat distribution and that is more apparent in the current offense oriented metagame. While it was a very versatile Pokémon originally, nowadays it can only use its flagship se with great success, though it can still use other sets, just with lesser success rate. It is not that great to compete against powerful Legendaries though.
Does this Pokémon have any hope in evolution? With is gigantic 525 BST and nature as an elusive Pokémon, it has almost no chances of evolving further.

Wow... that's new. I didn't need to cut any sections in half for the next part. I need to celebrate this.

*Note: I forgot that Relocator allowed you to obtain movie Pokémon, which means Zorua/Zoroark are available pre-E4, just tedious to be obtained.

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Updated 19th June 2013 at 10:34 AM by Trainer Yusuf

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