iTunes Essentials 2009 - A whole lotta something
by, 30th December 2009 at 01:41 PM (712 Views)
OK, OK. We've got our usual The Basics/Next Steps/Deep Cuts. But where do we draw the line between things that are "essential" and things that aren't?
We start with the obvious: 5 number-one hits on the Billboard Hot 100. This is follow by a 6th #1, an electrash alternative shit fest known as Fireflies.
Those 6 hits are followed by Taylor Swift's nerd anthem and 2 more number ones. Then Katy Perry's spectacular yet horribly overplayed Waking Up in Vegas sets up the scene for Boom Boom Pow, the highest-selling single of the year.
Party in the U.S.A. and the boring sell-out You Found Me are next followed by yet another #1!
Dead and Gone, Gives You Hell, and Day'n'Nite, all of which dominated the iTunes top 10 this year yet never made it to #1 on Billboard are followed by a wannabe party song, Miley Cyrus' failed attempt to "climb" to #1, and Pitbull's highest charting single.
Next Steps, as they are called, are more of a step down than a step up. The songs are still great songs but are accompanied by a few songs that only genre-specific whores would have heard of.
Jay-Z, Sasha Fierce, and GaGa kick off the Next Steps with some hot top 5 hits. Then U2 interrupts the party to bring in some creepy ass indie rock trash.
The party starts up again with some singles that nobody really liked but everybody bought: Sugar, Love Sex Magic & I Told You So.
Then we get a song about a black relationship between Keri Hilson and two of the ugliest men on the face of the earth. (Kanye & Ne-Yo)
P!nk and Mariah lend in some surprise "hits" and I use quotations because the former of the two really didn't have a "hit" on her hands. GaGa shows up again. She shows up everywhere it seems.
BEP lends in a 3rd "essential" and Rihanna (me) turns in one of the best slow jams of the year, Russian Roulette.
Lady Antebellum comes in to bore us with their excuse for a crossover country-pop hit and Beyonce picks up the pieces with her fabulous Sweet Dreams.
We then see the only #1 "Next Step" by Jay-Z & Alicia Keys. Our "friends" Linkin Park give us an expected shitty alternative song and Boys Like Girls offer a slightly better attempt.
GaGa shows up with a 5th top 10 hit and Green Day tries to make up for the horrors of their alternative chronies.
The rest of the Next Steps is pretty standard: I Do Not Hook Up, Kiss Me Thru the Phone, Fire Burning, and Battlefield.
The Deep Cuts are mostly horrid. You've got a few good/decent/somewhat bad songs by Cobra Starship, Paramore, 3OH!3, Hannah Montana, Jeremih, and Shinedown, a shitty cover of an even shittier song courtesy of Glee Cast, and a bunch of indie trash that no one listens to. It ends with a "hit" by Grizzly Bear that probably would not have cracked the Billboard Hot 750. Great finale, iTunes.
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